December 22nd, 2008 / 9:33 pm
 Web Hype

Blog Awards

I am giving out awards for blogs because that’s the power that comes with being a contributor here, and I’m bored at work. The following awards are only for blogs, not websites. There have been complaints that we are too self-referential — and I guess this isn’t helping. Fortunately, I have a 50 dollar bottle of scotch at home waiting for me and I’m not that concerned with stuff.

…and the whiners are

AWARD FOR CONCEPTUAL EYESTRAIN

Daniel Spinks, Liquid Mermaid Habitat Substitute

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AWARD FOR AVANT-GARDE DEADPAN NARCISSISM

Zachary German, every time a police officer gets shot i throw a party

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AWARD FOR MOST LOYALTY TO A TEMPLATE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Matthew Simmons, The Man Who Couldn’t Blog

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AWARD FOR INSANE SCROLLING REQUIREMENT AND ACTUALLY INTERESTING CONTENT

Christopher Higgs, Bright Stupid Confetti

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AWARD FOR LINKING EVERY JOURNAL IN EXISTENCE

Molly Gaudry, Green City News

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AWARD FOR MOST INCITING AND ENTHRALLING STRANGE-TALK

Blake Butler, No One Does That

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AWARD FOR ALWAYS BEING INFORMATIVE AND EMOTIONALLY CONTAINED

Matt Bell, Matt Bell

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AWARD FOR MORE DAILY UNIQUE VISITORS THAN ALL THESE BLOGS COMBINED

Tao Lin, Reader of Depressing Books

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AWARD FOR NOT PROVIDING LINKS TO YOUR OWN WRITING

Barry Graham, Why are you telling me this?

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AWARD FOR ALWAYS HAVING SOME OPINION

Darby Larson, Darby Larson

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AWARD FOR MOST FEMINIST BLOGROLL

Shane Jones, I Think You Are a Good Person

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AWARD FOR MOST PROCLAMATIONS OF BEING DETACHED

Brandon Scott Gorell, My hair will defeat you

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AWARD FOR BEING CRYPTIC, THEN DISAPPEARING

Ryan Manning, [variable] (this blog will disappear in 48 hrs)

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AWARD FOR BEST BANNER

Kendra Malone, Tricoteuse

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AWARD FOR BARELY VISIBLE FORMATTING

Ken Baumann, All art everywhere is free

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AWARD FOR BEING CONSTANTLY AGITATED

Noah Cicero, The Outsider

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AWARD FOR BEING ENGLISH AND HAVING COLORFUL FONTS

Crispin Best, We will all go simultaneous

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AWARD FOR BEST SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

Jimmy Chen, Embassy of Misguided Zen


Tags:

52 Comments

  1. December 23rd, 2008 / 2:28 am Jimmy Chen—

      crap i think i jacked up the html and italicized the rest of the site

  2. December 22nd, 2008 / 10:28 pm Jimmy Chen—

      crap i think i jacked up the html and italicized the rest of the site

  3. December 23rd, 2008 / 2:49 am gena—

      i didn’t get an award, i’m so hurt jimmy

  4. December 22nd, 2008 / 10:49 pm gena—

      i didn’t get an award, i’m so hurt jimmy

  5. December 23rd, 2008 / 2:59 am Jimmy Chen—

      i’m thinking of doing a female all-stars thing one day, you’ll be included.

  6. December 22nd, 2008 / 10:59 pm Jimmy Chen—

      i’m thinking of doing a female all-stars thing one day, you’ll be included.

  7. December 23rd, 2008 / 3:01 am Ken Baumann—

      jimmy, you’ve italicized the entire site, i’m confirming this for you.

      it looks terrible.

      thank you for my award.

  8. December 22nd, 2008 / 11:01 pm Ken Baumann—

      jimmy, you’ve italicized the entire site, i’m confirming this for you.

      it looks terrible.

      thank you for my award.

  9. December 23rd, 2008 / 3:16 am gena—

      fuck yeah!

  10. December 22nd, 2008 / 11:16 pm gena—

      fuck yeah!

  11. December 23rd, 2008 / 4:31 am jereme—

      all jokes aside, i think jimmy should win best design or something.

      it is the nicest looking blog. maybe chelsea martin beats him. i don’t know.

  12. December 23rd, 2008 / 12:31 am jereme—

      all jokes aside, i think jimmy should win best design or something.

      it is the nicest looking blog. maybe chelsea martin beats him. i don’t know.

  13. December 23rd, 2008 / 4:53 am Blake Butler—

      i have looked at the code i dont know how you did it

      where is dad

  14. December 23rd, 2008 / 12:53 am Blake Butler—

      i have looked at the code i dont know how you did it

      where is dad

  15. December 23rd, 2008 / 5:06 am darby—

      I see an [em] tag just before the READ MORE without a closing tag.

  16. December 23rd, 2008 / 1:06 am darby—

      I see an [em] tag just before the READ MORE without a closing tag.

  17. December 23rd, 2008 / 5:16 am Ryan Call—

      abandon ship!

  18. December 23rd, 2008 / 1:16 am Ryan Call—

      abandon ship!

  19. December 23rd, 2008 / 6:39 am Blake Butler—

      fixed-ed

  20. December 23rd, 2008 / 2:39 am Blake Butler—

      fixed-ed

  21. December 23rd, 2008 / 6:51 am jereme—

      i miss the italicized look.

      it was fresh and new.

  22. December 23rd, 2008 / 2:51 am jereme—

      i miss the italicized look.

      it was fresh and new.

  23. December 23rd, 2008 / 7:12 am jimmy—

      how’d you do it? what was the prob?

  24. December 23rd, 2008 / 3:12 am jimmy—

      how’d you do it? what was the prob?

  25. December 23rd, 2008 / 8:46 am matthew savoca—

      your such a noob

  26. December 23rd, 2008 / 4:46 am matthew savoca—

      your such a noob

  27. December 23rd, 2008 / 9:44 am tao—

      i like your thing on indigest jimmy

      if you review my ‘all purpose promotional video’ that will be on my vimeo account in 1-3 days (not the one that is there now, vimeo has limited my upload and i have a newer version i want to upload) on htmlgiant i’ll paypal you $2

      for each muumuu house author you interview on htmlgiant about muumuu house i will paypal you $5

  28. December 23rd, 2008 / 5:44 am tao—

      i like your thing on indigest jimmy

      if you review my ‘all purpose promotional video’ that will be on my vimeo account in 1-3 days (not the one that is there now, vimeo has limited my upload and i have a newer version i want to upload) on htmlgiant i’ll paypal you $2

      for each muumuu house author you interview on htmlgiant about muumuu house i will paypal you $5

  29. December 23rd, 2008 / 10:18 am tao—

      just kidding

  30. December 23rd, 2008 / 6:18 am tao—

      just kidding

  31. December 23rd, 2008 / 4:30 pm jimmy—

      i will do it for free tao

  32. December 23rd, 2008 / 12:30 pm jimmy—

      i will do it for free tao

  33. December 23rd, 2008 / 8:27 pm kendra—

      please dont do a females all star thing.

  34. December 23rd, 2008 / 4:27 pm kendra—

      please dont do a females all star thing.

  35. December 23rd, 2008 / 8:41 pm Jimmy Chen—

      i already promised gena.
      i won’t include you if that’s better.
      or i could do a ‘people without penises’ and include jereme

  36. December 23rd, 2008 / 4:41 pm Jimmy Chen—

      i already promised gena.
      i won’t include you if that’s better.
      or i could do a ‘people without penises’ and include jereme

  37. December 23rd, 2008 / 9:03 pm kendra—

      thank you. id rather not be ‘woman writer’ by definition.

  38. December 23rd, 2008 / 5:03 pm kendra—

      thank you. id rather not be ‘woman writer’ by definition.

  39. December 23rd, 2008 / 9:54 pm barry—

      thanks for this award jimmy. im honored.

  40. December 23rd, 2008 / 5:54 pm barry—

      thanks for this award jimmy. im honored.

  41. December 23rd, 2008 / 10:55 pm jereme—

      it is hard not to be a woman writer when you write about being a woman.

      just an observation.

  42. December 23rd, 2008 / 6:55 pm jereme—

      it is hard not to be a woman writer when you write about being a woman.

      just an observation.

  43. December 23rd, 2008 / 11:20 pm jimmy—

      shit-storm

  44. December 23rd, 2008 / 7:20 pm jimmy—

      shit-storm

  45. December 24th, 2008 / 4:10 pm Molly Gaudry—

      XOXO, Jimmy,
      M.

  46. December 24th, 2008 / 12:10 pm Molly Gaudry—

      XOXO, Jimmy,
      M.

  47. December 24th, 2008 / 4:22 pm higgs—

      Thanks, Jimmy.

      I am going to put this award on my CV.

  48. December 24th, 2008 / 12:22 pm higgs—

      Thanks, Jimmy.

      I am going to put this award on my CV.

  49. December 25th, 2008 / 7:13 am lisa ladehoff—

      haa cryptic blogging, ha female blogroll. yeah this was some dank shit, yo

  50. December 25th, 2008 / 3:13 am lisa ladehoff—

      haa cryptic blogging, ha female blogroll. yeah this was some dank shit, yo

  51. December 25th, 2008 / 7:51 pm gena—

      lol

  52. December 25th, 2008 / 3:51 pm gena—

      lol