Sommelier Says: “Dan”

Posted by @ 6:35 pm on October 20th, 2009

SommelierIn a recent comment thread about anonymous comments, one “Dan” (his quotes) says, of HTMLGIANT:

Every one on this websites is assholes and gives Tao Lin handjobs and is “rich middle class kids” and doesnt now shit about good writing if it punched them.111 you guys also are incestuous and publish only your friends’ writing regardless of merit 11111!!11

Sommelier Says: We suspect either English is not Dan’s first language, or he was on the receiving end of some type of job while composing this comment. Coming off strong with “assholes,” one is reminded of the straight-forward Cabernet; soon he offers supple textures with a descriptive narrative of manual relief, followed by a cultural indictment of an abstract group of people (never mind the “rich middle-class” oxymoron). At first, I thought Dan meant that “a hundred and eleven” of us were incestuous (pretty ample gene pool, what you talking about?) but realized the “111” were simply rushed exclamation points sans the shift key — must be his quivering colon. Dan’s post-laxative rant reeks of prune juice as he makes a mad rush to the toilet. And you thought purple rain was an album.