Due to the recent turn of events in the Occupy movement — by which I mean it is turning into a movement, not only because of the fact it is literally moving but because the real test of a movement occurs when the opposition tries to purge it — I feel obliged to do my small part in suggesting a word for what the occupiers are against. Perhaps you think there are existing words to describe what is opposed; and this is true, of course, there are lots of words; among them: corporate greed, economic disparity, banking malfeasance, shady lending, bullshit, derivatives, the 1%, fat cats, motherfuckers, etc. But consider for a moment that prior to 1944 there was no word for genocide. The explanation for this is simple, genocide was not a word — no one had thought to make it up. There were some other words to describe what was going on, such as: holocaust, perfidy, atrocity, burning people alive, etc. But, as there was no word for genocide, this made it difficult to discuss or wrap one’s head around what it meant when one race wanted to destroy another; that’s why Raphael Lemkin coined the term genocide, from the latin genus (a race) and -cide (to kill).

So I would like to offer up the term gulogulo. It’s a clunky word, I know, but so is the greasy sect it describes. It can easily be modified to wield as an adjective, e.g., “I just saw some gulogulous assclown punch a flower child in the face.” Gulogulo evokes the tyranny of the Gulag, the brutality of a masculinized Caligula, the monstrosity of the half-man, half-snake G.I. Joe villain Globulus (who gets his name from globule, a particle, often of fat, or, in astronomy, “a small dark cloud of gas and dust seen against a brighter background”); but most importantly it is a compound version of gulo gulo, a fun way to say wolverine. Gulo is latin for glutton, and in many parts of Europe wolverines are commonly known as gluttons — like fierce-ass war pigs.

What-a-dick

There is even a German board game called “Gulo Gulo,” wherein:

Each player is a Gulo, or wolverine, trying to rescue a baby Gulo who got caught by the swamp vulture whose eggs it was trying to steal. Unfortunately for the baby Gulo, all the adult Gulos are distracted by all the delicious swamp vulture eggs, and it has to wait very, very patiently as the adults constantly trip the very, very sensitive “egg alarm” rigged by the vulture to scare off the pesky Gulos.

In this game you are apparently playing as the villainous nature of corporate greed, gulogulocity. And the vulture, whom we can think of as the 99%, is doing its job to protect the eggs. For me this game is symbolic of the media’s basic view of the situation: they see as clearly as anyone what is going on, but they are placed in a position that forces them to see gulogulodom as an unfortunate but necessary function of the world. From their view, if the gulo doesn’t win, where will they get their eggs?

The essential mechanic of the game is to try to pull an egg of a particular color and move to a tile of that color on the linear path toward the bowl, and the little stack of tiles hiding the baby Gulo tile. If you set off the alarm, or knock any eggs out of the bowl, your Gulo is sent back to the previous tile of the attempted color. If there’s no such tile, then back to the start he goes!

I don’t think we will ever see the end of gulogulocity (as in G.I. Joe, Cobra always comes back for more), nor can we go back to the way things were before these gulogulous individuals gained power. The gulogulo is really nothing new; it has always been around. But it took way too long for the egg alarm to go off. And now we have to deal with a ferocious bunch of gulogulos, the claws of which manifest as the long arm of the law. No, I’m sorry to say, gulogulo is here to stay. But at least now we know more about it, at least now we are aware that it exists, because you can’t skim off the fat you can’t see.

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