Gore Vidal Endowed Chair

arts-graphics-2006_1174783a.jpgIs Gore Vidal just old or did something bad happen to him? (I’m not so glib to write this post usually, but it’s mean week.) He’s been sitting down, by my estimations, since c. 2002 and I wonder what his problem is. Maybe he always wanted an Endowed Chair.

Here he is in his reading chair with what appears to be either flat champagne or apple juice. He’s gonna have to get up to pee soon, and I’m worried about his efficiency. Below on the left is an image from the 14th Los Angeles Times Festival and the wheelchair clarifies that the sitting down might be an imperative. Notice the Prada shoes — good to know the royalties are in good shape. The picture on the right is him as close to camping as he’ll ever get. The cerebral man has no need for a suntan. He’s probably petitioning for the invention of color photography.

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I think it would be difficult to speak over ~10 violins. This is my problem with classical music: they all think they’re doing us a favor by playing it. Shut the fuck up Yo Yo Ma 10x, I want to hear Gore Vidal speak. I’m pretty sure I answered my own question: Gore Vidal is not simply lazy, but has some problem with his legs. Old writers are cool, but they don’t have blogs. I wonder how many comments Tolstoy would have gotten for a blog post called “Shaved my beard.”

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If a Brazilian guy was waving his 7″ – 8.5″ dong around, I’d be pretending to look into the camera too. The awesome thing about being a famous writer is you can hang around the pool and an international assortment of guys with massive cocks can hang out casually while some photographer for Vanity Fair or something takes pictures. And this all happens after the catered lunch which included crab cakes.

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Wtf? Now I’m starting to think Gore has some chair fetish. When people sit in chairs backwards like that, I think of a) that Janet Jackson video where she did the same, b) over-eager college professors who want to “get down” to business, and c) some controversial monolog from a one-act play about getting raped. Actually, I feel sort of bad about making fun of Gore Vidal because he was really nice to Ali-G when he got interviewed (compare this to Andy Rooney who was a little bitch). I’m sorry if this post really wasn’t about Gore Vidal’s books, since I never read any of them. I just checked out Gore Vidal’s wiki page and when confronted about his views of 9-11, Vidal said “I’m not a conspiracy theorist, I’m a conspiracy analyst.” Wow, that was an awesome response. I started this post thinking he was weird and now I think he’s way awesome. The moral of this post is: if you can give a smartass reply to a solemn question then it’s okay to look funny, which is good news for everyone here.