December 4th, 2008 / 11:01 pm
Author Spotlight & Contests & Presses
Win Nick Antosca’s MIDNIGHT PICNIC
You may have heard by now that Nick Antosca’s brightly anticipated new novel, MIDNIGHT PICNIC, is coming out this month from Word Riot Press. It’s been through some kind of phantom haunting of its own but now in the firm hands of Jackie Corley and company, it will soon available for your eyes (and is now out from preorder on the site, if you are so inclined, and should be.)
I really loved Nick’s first book, FIRES, and having read MP already I can tell you it is like a mix of Cormac McCarthy’s CHILD OF GOD on too much Kool Aid and full of magic, phantoms, surreal shopping malls, those shots from Lost Highway where it is just the car going into the night, etc.
To celebrate the coming release, Nick and WR Press have hooked us up with two copies of the book for to give away to HTML Giant readers. Entry to the give away is simple:
What is the way you would least like to die?
Answer this question in as little or as many words as you need to best elucidate the exit method. Bonus points have been promised to those who illustrate their deaths with pictures or drawings in MS paint. Whoever most effectively, creatively, disgustingly, or whatever other adverb seems good as deemed by Nick will take home what I can guarantee is a book you will not soon forget.
Another thing I won’t soon be forgetting is the picture the author requested to be included in this post, which I will now bestow up you in all good faith that it will lead your mind to the gory end that gets you the book prize.:
Contest closes Monday night. Let’s hear it.
Tags: midnight picnic, nick antosca, word riot press
its eternal life that scares me
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nick, why?
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also, my submission:
In New York City, surrounded by writers.
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uh oh. ken comes out hard early.
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oh man, ken wins
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yeah somebody’s got their work cut out to beat ken. there are two copies though.
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like that dude in braveheart, while watching Barry Graham make love to Elizabeth Ellen right in front of me
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i already preordered the book though.
hanging upside down over a pool, watching sam pink and jereme dean drown underneath me
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lgetting strangled by Matt Bauer, while Matt Digiornio unpublishes people in front of me
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oops I meant Mark and Digorni? sorry
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laughing to death
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sitting on the toilet taking a shit and a mini alligator climbs up from the sewer and gnaws my nuts off and i’ll bleed to death into my shit water
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and my children hear my screaming but they laugh and lock the bathroom door from the outside
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gin Brazil, like that dude from handful of dust, but instead of Dickens, he’s reading Narrative Mag to me (except not that greatMaud Newton memoir excerpt, that was good)
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in Brazil, not GIN brazil…
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i actually have a real fear of dying on the toilet like Elvis did. Like, gotta have the rescue remedy spray in all the bathrooms and my purse….
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getting shot in the back of the head by Barry Graham, while in the midst of making love to Elizabeth Ellen
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this is going to be hard to judge
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Rafael Nadal is about to put his cock into me and then –suddenly! — ETA, the Basque separatists, drop a bomb on us and we die.
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nick you are screwed
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writerly shit is all creative and all, but fuck me, i wouldn’t want my face to get scrapped off. fuck. that is so gross.
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barry graham is eating me out and has been for hours cause we’re drunk as s shit and i’m just about to come- and BOOM- a nuclear bomb from north
korea drops right on my
snatch
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if i was eating you out for hours you would have already came plenty of times. you underestimate my mouth. i can provide references
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i’m in kalamazoo and so is barry! we are both 14- oh wait- when he was
fourteen i was 24, but whatever, and he says that thing that dudes say-
“just the tip” and i say, “OK” and he is about to put just the tip in (yeah right)
and then elizabeth ellen comes in and I go “wait!!” i love you too!” but it is
too late, and she beats me to death with that tampon that she ripped out of
that girl from that story.
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i wish my father would have read this post before he died so he could have proof that at least one person loves me
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I LOVE BARRY!
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i would like to submit this blog post to this contest
my goal was not to gain hits, i am sorry this has to be in the form of a blog post, ‘purely coincidental’
http://brandon-alien-fine.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-am-at-airport.html
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by meat press
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being eaten by a giant scaly penis with teeth and a cactus tongue.
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death is not funny. but we try to make it so, to ease ourselves…
Barry and I finally get to be together alone. it is a writer pary, in ann arbor.
Everyone was sort of mean to me cause even tho i’m from the midwest,
i now live in NY, so people are suspicious. we got in a back room, cause
unlike in NY, you fuckers have lots of room and houses and back rooms aand shit. we take off
our clothes. we are about to have sex! then elzabeth ellen and aaron burch
walk in with baseball batts, laughing. “you flatchested bitch!” they yell.
“You aren’t a real midwesterner! You don’t deserve Barry!” and then they
beat me over the head til i die.
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[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v719/truettdietz/MScontest.jpg[/IMG]
MS Paint image to illustrate my death.
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v719/truettdietz/MScontest.jpg
I hate photobucket so here’s a direct link to the death pic… i hope
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getting kissed and punched and kicked a lot by someone’s grandfather who is a stranger to me but laughs the whole time.
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oh this is a great way to keep the female readers comfortable.
lol
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what is the softest, most gentle and pink way you could die?
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barry and i just finish making love, we are holding each other, warm and damp, and e e and a b walk in, they cuddle us, and then…i have a heart attack and die.
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btw- i really want to argue why i think kafka is a comedic writer but no one- NO ONE – responded to that thread but me. i don’t really want to be only making fuck jokes about barry. well, well- well mabe not. but does anyone want to go and discuss kafka with me? i’ll be less offensive. promise.
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i would least like to die
by not dying. by realizing that this inner turmoil will never end.
day after day after day until the sun dampens and the world grows cold.
floating through space. alone in my mind. worrying about all the things i have not done and will never do.
complete and utter alienation from myself.
that is the worst way to die.
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this is my final answer:
nick announces i win this contest. im on my way to the post office. a car swerves to avoid hitting a squirrel and heads right towards me… but i dont die, i dodge it. i get to the post office. the postman hands me the book. i hold it. smell it. lick the cover. walk out the door enamored. and that same fucking car comes back around the block because the stupid fucker forgot his wallet and he kills me dead before i even get to open the cover. the medics arrive and the book is lying on my chest covered in blood and the medic takes it from me, puts it in his back pocket, and reads it into his girlfriends ear just before she falls asleep. and when she dies. he strangles her. the end.
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does, not dies. i meant does.
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Bad way to die: Of old age, stuck on a desert island with nothing by James Patterson novels to read.
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but
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since i fucked up with the post here’s all of it together,
being eaten by a giant scaly penis with teeth and a cactus tongue.
[ms paint fucking death picture link]:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v719/truettdietz/MScontest.jpg
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Jereme and Barry-
that wasn’t the pinkest way to die? the last request of Nick’s? was it?
pink die-
i’m in the dr with jereme and barry- we are drinkin barcelo imperial, smoking some cigars we just bought from puro mundo las terrenas- we are all falling in bed together… drunk and happy- love love love–a hurricane drowns us-PINK DEATH.
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uhg that is twice you’ve said i would drown.
i want a good death.
like in samurai battle
or dying by the jaws of a grizzly
drowning scares the shit out of me. i can’t fight back.
no drown for me.
i think my way was pink. there was no actual death involved.
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you don’t win anything for answering the comfy pink death question, just fyi.
(except respect.)
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d
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i gotta wake up in a few hours and.. lord.
darby- d? come on! you can do better than that!!
nick- no take backs!
ok-
I am making htmgiant a really nice place for ladies, but all the ladies are like ME! Desperate cougers, ripping away at all you boyz, and blood is everywhere, then Barry walks in, we all freak out- a man!- we all run to him and he can handle it, he’s taking us all on, then Jereme saunters- SAUNTERS in–barry stands up, now there are only four of us left on him, so he you know, he can stand up, but then he sees that its Jereme!- so he lays back- it all gets good again- then kim ill sung walks in and drops a bomb on us but before he does that, for just one second he starts singing “i’m so ronry”from the team america soundtrack…
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matt daaaaamon
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I like the unedited version where puppets poo on each other.
and the cats. the cats eating hamburger.
Hi Jereme!
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Someone with a dental pick attached to a Dremel tool scratches away at the side of my nose, across my sinuses, through my temporal lobe, and into my pituitary gland.
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pr:
no, that wasnt pink. i dont do pink.
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I ordered FIRES because of this post….I’ll read anything compared to CHILD OF GOD.
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HI PR
if you were here, i would enjoy your scent
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unfortunately peter, I think blake was comparing not FIRES but MIDNIGHT PICNIC to CHILD OF GOD.
that said, i think you will like FIRES.
a few honorable mentions in the Worst Way to Die contest may be receiving copies of FIRES.
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[...] Head over to <HTMLGIANT> and put in your best death wish. Better hurry, though. The competition is heating up and the contest ends Monday night. [...]
in a hotel room.
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i wouldn’t want a lemur to pull my brain out through my nose and throw it i think
also
i don’t want a horse to break my neck with his kick when i’m not paying attention so that i’m paralysed and then, while i’m lying in the field for a couple of days, i think of a really good idea and solid plot for a niche crime thriller (samurai or buddhist or something), but caterpillars crawl in my eyes and mouth and termites eat my body and maggot eggs hatch on my ear drum
etc
i liked rat beast a lot, nick antosca
good going, nick
rotten.com was the first place i ever saw someone drink their own sick when i was 16
she was japanese and came in 8 15 second clips that took 10 minutes to download each
thanks, rotten.com
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[...] are the winners of Nick Antosca’s Midnight Picnic Contest, as chosen by the [...]