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June 17th, 2010 / 10:02 am
Behind the Scenes

HTMLGIANT’s 400 Under 1

What follows is a list of what we at HTMLGIANT consider the top 400 writers worth watching under the age of 1. We all know it’s kind of hard to make predictions of the young artist, but that’s why we picked 400. These up-and-coming writers are from a lot of different countries and are of at least two different sexes. Some of them are probably even poets! We feel pretty good about it.

I keep saying we, but really I don’t want to trick you. I just compiled this all by myself. There have been many lists and lots of pining. But I, too, was scientific. Look:

During my extensive research process of compiling the 400, I talked to more than a couple dozen parents, nannies, day care owners, playground lingerers, pediatricians, obstetricians, and jr. agents. The infants range anywhere from second trimester (if its got a heart (for narrative), it’s legal) to the cut off period of exactly one year. Unfortunately there were some fantastic young pen holders who’d just had their first birthday party who we had to cross off the list. I also crossed off those babies who didn’t quite have that look in their eye. You know what I mean.

Other than their age, the work of these young authors have absolutely nothing in common that I can see. It’s a group of enormous, enormous promise. It is the future of all language. I hope you will join us as we watch these young Hemingwhos and Faulkwhatzits rise into the storyteller’s light.

Jody Pensmann, 4 months 8 days
Rob Bipp, 2 months 2 days
Jan Farthrite, 8 days
Amanda Qi, 11 weeks
Horse LaFrenza, in utero
Jon R. White, in utero
Dedra Beeder, 11 months 30 days
Nan Smart, 9 months 11 days
Jerry Kullsbedmendensen, 3 weeks
Yolanda Werth, 4 days
Pedro “Sugar” Wilson, 4 months and some change
Anne Fence, in utero
Richard Richardsmith, 6 months 8 hours
Oi Ban, 3 months
Lucy Qunders, in utero
Boyd Upchurch, 9 weeks
Tim Nash, 3 hours
Yellow Fitzcarraldo, in delivery
“Pal” Undermen, Jr., 10 months 4 days
LaQuienta Applet, 10 months 20 minutes
Joe Bean, 8 days
Candy Tucker, 2 weeks
Olive Rearden, 9 months 11 days
Paul Shirt, 11 weeks
Harold Peter Jacobs, two months ten days
T.T. Ritt, in utero
Antonio Carlotti, 3 months 8 days
Jack Paulsen, 11 weeks
Amanda Hunter, 14 weeks
Joey Hunter, 10 months 11 days
Adam Beeder, 10 months 1 day
Unquant Pordoononnnon, 1 month
Pap Jabbert, 4 weeks 1 day
Jo Ann Landis, 9 days
Troy Dearth, 30 days
Ana P. Bacon, 18 weeks
Rod Grease, 4 months 18 days
Rechard Riordan, 9 weeks
Barbara Lee, in utero
Queenie Ibbelt, in utero
99 White, 1 hour
Ryan Stensmart, 18 weeks
S. Bob Lackey, 27 weeks
Herb Grit, 3 months 2 days
Lucien Underwood, 2 days
Jack Snow, 97 hours
Jack Morris, 1 week
Jack Williams, 11 months 20 days
Randy Trump Munder, 11 months 11 days
Amy Stance, 9 months 11 days
Gene Sims-Worthteneaching, 10 months 1 day
Landyard Apelstert, 18 weeks
Noy Roth, 11 months 6 days
Achardyru Achduiuidoo, in utero
B. Beard, 3 weeks 1 day
Matt “Matty” Munt, 3 weeks 6 days
John Houstons, 3 months
Lacey Cordcrinin, 7 months 2 days
Luke House, 2 weeks
Mallomar Umbendenstein, 2 hours
Boudfjlkj Ddihfoaiujflaksjdlkfjalskdjflaskdjflkajoiuoriue, in utero
Jonathan Sheen, in utero
Jonathan Unders, in utero
Jonathan Arounderton, in utero
Jonathan Jonathanorrow, 11 months 3 weeks
Jonathan Beefheart, in utero
Jonathan Smith, 6 months 1 day
Jonathan Anderson, 2 days
Jonathan Black, in utero
Jonathan White, in utero
Jonathan Henderson, in utero
Jonathan DeMartini, in utero
Jonathanmy Jonathansensen, 6 months 9 days
Andi Leer, 5 hours
Arlene Wicker, 5 weeks 4 days
Oooooo Beltran, 4 months 11 days
Jonathan Patterson, 11 days
Jonathan Pattersen, in utero
Pom Tattersen, 9 months 27 days
Joey Card, 8 months 11 days
Janice Bickers, 6 weeks
Hallie A. Grant, 4 months 4 days
Grant B. Peters, 1 week 1 day
Sting Young, 9 months 22 days
Ginni Youngwen, in utero
Hoyt Lipp, 3 weeks 1 day
Errol Mailer, 5 months 11 days
Oona Ball, 3 hours
Sarah Anderson, 11 days 14 hours
Perry Appleseed, 3 months
Paul Jones, 2 months 29 days
Annie Waters, in utero
Joey Griers, 11 months
Hannah Fallmen, 10 months 20 days
Paul Kweeep, 2 weeks 1 day
E. R. Richards, 1 day
Paula Nomenclature, 1 day
Hal Peep, 1 day
Giluli Giovanni, 2 day
Al Bell, in utero
George Moore, 8 months 2 days
Jimmy Chinn, 10 months 11 days
Alfred E. Wool, 3 weeks
Edna Wright, 2 weeks 2 days
Jessica Jasons, in delivery
Oundoran Fexii, 8 hours
Tillie Night, 8 months 18 days
P. Sarah Mathers, 9 months 1 day
Howdy Clam Beep, 47 weeks
Ben Wrath, 3 days
Bob Shirtclamp, in utero
Pamela Pamela, 11 weeks
Tina Hasbro, 15 days 3 hours
Sandra McDonalds, 5 minutes
Polly Anger, 8 months 27 days
James Schuylenstein, 3.5 weeks or something
Jamon Loble, in utero
Rick Geary, in utero in utero
Bot Liu, 1 day
Martina Martincia Ruez Lopez, 2 months 2 weeks 1 hour 1 day 34 minutes
Landy Quick, in utero
R. Poles, 9 months
Paula Breastmilk, 9 months
Yolanda House, 6 weeks 2 days
Hugo Aparicio, 9 months 19 hours
Char Soowege, 2 months
Dad Richard Howe, 11 months 23 days
Kristy Miasma, Jr. , 1 month 22 days
Ashley Jonathanpkins, 8 weeks
Askold Nordmen, 9 weeks
Gordon Texas, 1 month 30 days
Mark Bent, in utero
Beardsley A. Howards, 11 months 22 days
Cliff Stance, 6 weeks
Po Beers, 1 week 1 day
Ully Taylors, 8 months 22 days
Robert Ross, 9 weeks
Caleb Doorbait, in utero
Sally Sizemore, 2 weeks 6 days
Awt Jones, 4 months 2 days
Jo Umbrage, 11 months
Kristina Sal Salmens, in utero
Keith Pointer, 11 days
York Fredriksen, 18 hours
Manny Froish, 6 minutes
Pop Withers, 47 weeks
David Ricky Housley, 9 months 12 days
David Leak, in utero
Chrissy Halloway, 11 months 30 days 23 hours
Nordic Botmaker, 9 months 27 days
Applet iJones, in utero
Tony Clift, in utero
Jane Beef, in utero
Dana Edmond, 3 months 3 days
Undoaif alidjfl aijsdlfijalsdfjl Ajsdklfja, in utero
Squeegee Simpson, 8 weeks
Hair Lartmitse, 2 days
Christian Swallows, 6 months 6 days 6 hours
Bart Young, 9 days 8 hours
Mamie Jenkins, 9 days
Susie Jenkins, 7 months 25 days
Ethel Hardy-Spence, 7 months 3 days
Barry O. O, in utero
Derry Quikley, 6 days
Joey Paultier, 4 months 27 days
Vanessa Peach, 8 months
Kimberly Rash, 9 months 3 days
Tim Snoik, 5 weeks
Hera Helmston, 8 weeks 3 days
Yina Worth, 3 minutes
Joe Berryment, 9 months 23 days
Jak Aridit-Kwob, 147 days
Peep Bittles, 8 months 1 days
Jana Worth, 4 weeks
Jesus Quick, in utero
Jimmy Life, a week and a lifetime
Barry Mallah, 3 weeks
Dame Greer, 9 weeks
Dennis P. Patterstein, 4 months 29 days
Wally Hammil, 30 days
Jordan Sleen, 90 hours
Sloane Beep-Smith-Grind, three weeks
Greg Podd, 6 months 2 days
Fella Shurisikiski, 2 months 19 days
Barbara Bowery, 3.5 hours
Nula F. Feans, 2 weeks 9 days
Jack Dowd, 6 months
Tom Adams, 11 months 10 days
Sarah A. Adams, 10 months 8 days
Sally A. A. Addams, in utero
Job A. A. A. Adddams, in utero
Hank, 3 days
Jaime Cruz-Martin, 7 months 19 days
Stella Box, 9 weeks
Janet Pinkersmith, 4 months 2 days
Joey Labmate, 7 months 29 days
Lava Pinky, in utero
Haley Kore, 4 weeks
Peter Loudment, 9 weeks 4 days
Yuri Wheat, 1 week
Becky Blythe, in utero
Ricardo Pofe, 9 weeks
Christy Swanson, 5 months 8 hours
George Lamp, the parents are working on it
Pedro Martinez, 9 days
Iba Klaus, 9 months 12 days
Bard Jefferson, 3 months 22 days
Schroeder Schitz, 7 months 6 days
Magda Boidmaker, 5 hours
Hal Peemp, 5 minutes
Reggie Dickerson, 5 seconds
Pol Pampine, in utero
Bill Reacher, in utero
Red Hardy, 2 months
Sally Maye Eakerston, 9 days
Joy Biff, 11 months 29 days
Lola Blunt, in utero
Richard Browning, 4 weeks
Pammy Sedgwick, 4 months 29 days
Morgan Beefetsten, 9 months 3 days
Francois Clempt, 3 weeks 3 days
R. Richard Loud, 9 months 26 days
Gore Bodula, 3 minutes
Darrell “Holy Fuck” Richardo, 7 months
Gilbert Ricer, 3 weeks
Gail Tweak, 9 weeks 3 days
Susie Looper, 8 hours
Richard Powers, 8 months 11 hours
Richard Ross, 9 weeks 2 days
Ally K. Kilmanjan, 11 months 4 days
Wanda Yeart, 5 months 13 days
Julie James Hetfield, 18 weeks
Palberto Humerbstore, in utero
Unjkdfa Ljdf, 9 months 16 days
K. Kord, 18 days
Listerd Korodone, 3 weeks
Val Beef, 7 months 5 days
William V. Undersmith II, 11 weeks
Jules Maynard, 4 weeks
Horace Poppert, 8 months 6 days
William V. Rucksack, Jr. , 8 months 8 days
Joe Bin, in utero
Joe Hyatt, 11 weeks
J. Baul Hyatt, 37 weeks
Randy Gill, 9 months 27 days
Mary Selvetts, 14 weeks
Amanda Hy, 2 weeks
Hu Sun Ju Bib Soc Rim, 18 hours
Panda Beach, 6 months 1 day
Edgar Reesings, 3 days
Adam Bat, in utero
Horticulture Variety-Rutz, 8 months 16 days
Harry Beer, 6 months 27 days
Ursula Wiggit, 9 months 19 days
Jane Richardson, 9 weeks
Janet Vermont, 14 days
Hal Pumpy, 14 days
Jefferey Wortht, 15 days
John E. Earther, 9 months 11 days
Hale Sanders, 7 months 3 days
Hoi Ed, 10 months 14 days
Fannie Bat Wickersearch, 2 hours
Tuo Mumnm, 11 weeks 6 days
Kally Habersmith, 3 months
Josh Pulitz, 5 months 28 days
Rack Yunderstoppes, 4 months 30 days
Gay Earf, 6 weeks
Vern-Joey Lakbinderlitz, in utero
Honey Hayes, 12 weeks
Al Feldman, 10 months 10 days
Nanna Bickerstep, 8 weeks
G. A. Farmer, 11 months 16 days
Dudley Redsun, 11 months 22 days
Joey Ashley Back, 4 minutes
King Sanders, 11 minutes
Nancy Eaker, 3 months 6 days
Paris Dice, 6 months 9 days
Hannah Cordbumps, in utero
Fred Smith, in utero
Joe Tall, 4 days
William Ask, 19 weeks
Mary Beeber-Rothstein-Witt, 11 minutes
Yung Hi, 24 hours
Heather Sodyard, 2 months 30 days
Hale Earrings, 9 months 9 days
Velma Pencil, 8 months 16 days
Cal Farmer, 8 months 1 day
Wally Kleaner, 9 months 9 days
Joseph Tee, 14 weeks
Helly Undermoney, in utero
Rex Yelly, 7 hours
John Nash, 18 days
Todd Miller, 11 weeks 6 days
Tom Sellings, 90 mintues
Sara Bacon, 120 minutes
Drew Akers, 1 day
Lee Winters, 1 day
Ashley Sommerstein, 2 days
Pear Winslow, 4 days
Kreed, 9 months
Gregory Whistle, in utero
Jacquelin Air, 9 months 27 days
P. R. Brothel, 9 days 9 hours
Noey Johnson, 10 months
Lola Pushlight, 11 months 12 days
Adam Adams, in test tube
Tony Stark, 9 hours
Matthew Kornreich, 11 weeks 100 minutes
Matthew Todd, 10 days
Matthew Williams, 4 hours
William Barry, in utero
French Cleave, in utero
Mary Archer, 9 months 3 days
Joseph Loudyard, 8 months 8 days
Chuck Stein, 14 weeks
Bill Stein, 2 months 5 days
Robert A. Abrahams, 5 months 17 days
Goldenrod Hall, 13 hours
D.D. Coleridge, 7 months
Tim Furth, 3 months 4 days
Ashertbenebensten Podwidowwitz, 3 weeks
George Love, 100 weeks
Gregorich Viddle, 3 months 18 days
Ryan Allen, 4 months 24 days
Jonathan Box, in utero
Jonathan Carter, 3 hours
Michel Eckstein, 11 minutes
Gary Bon Jovi, 11 months 4 days
Kathy Tarr, 15 weeks 2 hours
Stephen Sellers, 8 months 20 days
Janet Waters, 4 months 27 days
Pobulum Reynolds-Wash, 2 weeks 2 days
Hay Alors, 6 months 15 days
Understance Colluvition, in utero
Jack Spritt, 4 months 6 days
Bob Mall, in utero
Allison A. Mint, 8 months 18 days
Edith Pertners, 4 weeks
Nori Koldulvellum, 16 weeks 4 days
Jack Roth, 6 months 7 days
Ira Mundt, 19 days
Marion Teague, 4 months 24 days
Marcis Monroe, 3 months 10 days
Stephanie Conolly, in utero
Neal Nalmbert, 9 weeks
Kristine Woodards, 14 months 2 days
Joey Beeflaugh, 5 weeks
Marcis Ugger, 4 months 16 days 8 hours
Hazel Song, 8 minutes
Gretchen Raynor-Wash, 10 weeks 5 days
Curtis O. McLennon, 6 months 15 days
Gladys Pearsonsmith, 9 months 9 hours
Brett Chandler, 6 weeks 3 days
Stacy Lambs, 3 hours
Stacy Scarbrough, 3 weeks
Gary Watts, 3 months
Kule A. Unnn, 3 months 3 weeks
Dana Suttons, 3 months 3 weeks 3 days
Kelly Stouty, 7 months 14 days
Faye Spoon, in utero
Sherri Bowmans, 14 minutes
Calvin Christensen, 5 months 22 days
Joy Bo, 11 weeks
Boi Hunhunhunhunhun, 4 months 18 days
James Whitefaith, in utero
Cooper Crème, in utero
Harvey Frederick Hoyle, 3 weeks
James Barton, 9 weeks 3 days
Joey Shakepeare Clyde, 11 months 16 days
Melinda Pottsmith, 9 months 28 days
Portia Ferrari, 3 months 22 days
Under-the-Moon Hammersmith, 11 months 6 days
Tok Ball, 18 weeks
Evan Jessica Rich, 4 minutes
Vickie Trappers, 8 months 8 hours
Allan Hinton, 3 weeks
Luis I. Diaz, 17 weeks
Louis Reynalds, 7 months 18 days
Don Joseph, 2 months 18 das
Wayne Barton, 1 month
Marianne Solomon, 5 months 17 days
Faith Firth, 8 hours
Priscilla Baskerville, 4.5 minutes
Lois E. Chung, 1 minute
Frank Eden, 12 seconds
Frank Krammer, 11 months 2 days
Wesley Teague, a week and a half
Douglas Beetlebumper A. Fitzheight, 8 days
839309, 8 hours
Calamity Wisconsin, in utero
Paul O. Oot, in utero
Franklin Salad, 9 months 9 days
Dolores Ice, 6 months
Sandy I. Hill, 6 weeks 6 hours
Vick Manguso, in utero
Eric Jeffrey Hazels, 7 months 17 days
Lon Chute, 14 weeks
Beth McNamara McLaughlin, 8 seconds
Pet Wegner, 6 months 4 days
Ronnie Bee, 4 days

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