Haut or Not (w/ digression)
Drew Toal writes:
After he moved out of our apartment, Tao Lin didn’t take all of his books with him. So, it should be noted, that these are likely his least-essential books. But isn’t Tao Lin’s refuse still hauter than a normal person’s bookshelf pride?
It’s a strange message, but I can only assume that Drew would have no reason to mislead Htmlgiant, so let us gather that Tao a) lived with Drew at one point, and b) these are/were his books. In a perfect world, I probably should have contacted Tao to corroborate this, but this is an imperfect world.
Haut or Not: Alexis Orgera
Lewis Lapham, of Harper’s fame, started a new quarterly focusing in depth on ‘timeless’ humanist qualms such as war, love, nature, etc., and I’m happy to see this on her shelf. The thinness of that Moby Dick spine looks like some abridged version, but I’m hoping knot (get it? fuck). Joyce and Beckett sit well next to each other like Exile and Absence out for a date. I can only imagine the library late fees out on Paradise Lost — the Fall of man at 20 cents a day. Alexis is onto something with all this irrevocable mor(t)al stuff. (And who needs The Iowa Review when I got a review of Iowa right here: corn blows.) If you think I’m grasping for material here, I’ll just repeat what I said to Marco Polo, ‘get lost.’
Rating: Haut.
Haut or Not: An Assortment
David Hodges
Heller, Kafka, Orwell, Vonnegut — welcome to class kids. This semester Mr. Hodges will be teaching us how horrible society is and how to maintain a negative attitude. Then we’re gonna read A Confederacy of Dunces and all kill ourselves in hopes of also being posthumously published. And don’t forget, you can use Tom Wolfe’s book as an ottoman. Lastly, we’ll finish off with a biography of Clarence Thomas, cuz there’s nothing that says justice more than a pube on a can of Pepsi.
Rating: not.
Haut or Not: Matt Cozart
Melville’s dick on Sister Carrie — that’s all I can think about, and what looks to be a bunch of children’s books on top of Kenneth Koch and William Carlos Williams. Now we know where Matt’s priorities lie: so much depends upon/ a red wheelbarrow / and whether or not it’s nap-time. Such blasphemy doesn’t even compare with John Irving being 3 tiers above D.F. Wallace. [Brief interview with a hideous man: Q) You ever wish your last name began with M?, A) Yes, all the time.] As for O. Henry and O’Hara: O’MyGod
Rating: Not.
Haut or Not
HTMLGIANT hereby institutes Haut or Not, where we rate your bookshelves. This was initiated and corroborated by J. Taylor and B. Bulter, respectively, and inspired by this recent post and the unfortunate yet captivating Hot or Not series.
Just email htmlgiant@gmail.com a picture of your bookshelf (or stack of books w/ spines showing) and one us will either rate it ‘haut’ (haute, formal) or ‘not.’ You may also email individual contributors at their personal addresses if you specifically want them to rate you, acknowledging that our tastes vary drastically.
Here are the parameters:
Subject heading: Haut or not
pics: 500 pixel-wide jpeg, ~200kb.
Disclaimer: we are also free to rate, or make commentary on, all implicated vicinity of the photo. For example, if in the far distance we see an out-of-focus neon thing that resembles a dildo, we will assume it’s a dildo. You may insist it’s a $275 Roche-Bobois lamp, but we will ignore you. So please, be careful. If you are not prepared to be made fun of, this is not the venture for you.
Your Taste: A Review
I searched “my books” and “my bookshelf” on flickr and reviewed stranger’s tastes in literature.
Did you read Everything is Illuminated twice? I read the first 5 pages once, then felt irritated and put it down. Kudos on Lolita though, it really is an awesome book, and answers in full ‘why men love bitches,’ so I don’t see the point on reading an entire book on that. They made a movie out of The Namesake with Kumar. It was like Joy Luck Club except with Indians. I teared the entire movie, though I think it was the curry. As for ‘how to save your own life,’ don’t fly if you’re scared of it. Just fly a kite.