April 15th, 2009 / 7:04 pm
Contests & Random

Three Things I’ve Found Interesting Within the Sphere of ‘Booklyfe’, or: Booklyfe 3

This is what all talent/literary/federal agents look like.  Its code.

This is what all talent/literary/federal agents look like. It's code.

1.  Literary agent Nathan Bransford of Curtis Brown, Ltd. is offering readers the chance to play Literary Agent for a Day over at his blog. It’s pretty simple:  Read the posted queries, pick the queries you think belong to books about to actually be published, win ______ (he hasn’t specified the prize).

2.  Via Matt Briggs, an essay from Frederick Barthelme published in 1988. I’m sure quite a few of you have read this already, but I hadn’t.  I think the essay is definitely worth talking about, still.

3.  Interview Magazine writes about Five Dials, a .pdf/email distributed literary journal.  Hey, who knew this interweb thing could be used for like, literature and stuff?

I’ve already blabbed about this stuff elsewhere, if you’d like a quicker river.

Tags: , ,

71 Comments

  1. pr

      hey, will you post about the results to that agent for a day thing?

  2. davidpeak
  3. davidpeak
  4. pr

      That’s the sillest thing I’ve even read. I like the picture of him on his blog. he looks like a nice mix of “laid back surfer guy” and “clean cut-i-rowed-crew-at-williams guy” mixed with “ruthless-ambition” and “secretly-hates-all-writers” and “always-knew-he’d-succeed” with “I-have really great teeth because I don’t smoke and drink coffee like you losers” and “i look tall in my picture even though it is just of my head and shoulders” and “No death crystals”.

  5. davidpeak

      It’s even worse when you scroll down and see aspiring writers commenting with “Wow, only 2 similes? I better change my book!”

      pr, your descriptions are dead-on.

  6. davidpeak

      It’s even worse when you scroll down and see aspiring writers commenting with “Wow, only 2 similes? I better change my book!”

      pr, your descriptions are dead-on.

  7. mike young

      that rick barthelme essay is terrific; i read it sometime last year while looking for stuff on mary robison and it’s really shrewd and defiant and valiant

      i’m reading his TRACER right now–good stuff, i’m hooked

  8. mike young

      that rick barthelme essay is terrific; i read it sometime last year while looking for stuff on mary robison and it’s really shrewd and defiant and valiant

      i’m reading his TRACER right now–good stuff, i’m hooked

  9. Ken Baumann

      I didn’t vouch for his talent or intelligence as an agent, nor would I after reading that.

  10. Ken Baumann

      I didn’t vouch for his talent or intelligence as an agent, nor would I after reading that.

  11. Ken Baumann

      Yeah, Tracer is a winner.

  12. Ken Baumann

      Yeah, Tracer is a winner.

  13. davidpeak

      you’re guiltless in the matter, ken. that dude’s just a bag of dicks.

  14. davidpeak

      you’re guiltless in the matter, ken. that dude’s just a bag of dicks.

  15. pr

      I’m sure he’s a fine agent. And I take back “the silliest”-because I meant to just say silly. Like, that is silly, instead of silliest. I do think it is silly to say “only two similes” or anything like that.

      Also, I ws just goofing around about his picture. No offense was meant. I’m sure he doesn’t hate all writers, too and so on so forth.

      I like his agent for a day thingy and I do hope you follow up on it Ken. It’s interesting stuff. I worked in book publishing and it’s not an easy thing to do, be an agent, or editor or publicist or whatever.

      I just like fucking around. It’s fun to fuck around.

  16. gena

      kennyyyyyy

  17. gena

      kennyyyyyy

  18. Nathan Bransford

      Hyperbole, swear.

  19. Nathan Bransford

      Hyperbole, swear.

  20. Nathan Bransford

      No offense taken. It’s a goofy picture (although your wrong about my teeth, which are slightly jacked).

      But just to clarify in case people didn’t click through, all I said in that post is that if people don’t have a gift for similes (not many do) they should probably use them sparingly.

      Blame my writing ability if my intent didn’t come through, but I don’t find that particularly controversial.

  21. Nathan Bransford

      No offense taken. It’s a goofy picture (although your wrong about my teeth, which are slightly jacked).

      But just to clarify in case people didn’t click through, all I said in that post is that if people don’t have a gift for similes (not many do) they should probably use them sparingly.

      Blame my writing ability if my intent didn’t come through, but I don’t find that particularly controversial.

  22. Nathan Bransford

      Um. I also know the difference between your and you’re, although you wouldn’t know that from my last comment. Going home now.

  23. Nathan Bransford

      Um. I also know the difference between your and you’re, although you wouldn’t know that from my last comment. Going home now.

  24. davidpeak

      maybe it’s me who’s the bag of dicks.

  25. davidpeak

      maybe it’s me who’s the bag of dicks.

  26. Nathan Bransford

      Was it Proust or Kierkegaard who said, “We’re all bags of dicks”?

  27. Nathan Bransford

      Was it Proust or Kierkegaard who said, “We’re all bags of dicks”?

  28. Justin Taylor

      Thanks for these links, Ken. I’ll be interested to see how the agent thing turns out, and that essay is easily my favorite piece of Rick Barthelme writing I’ve ever read.

      re similes- I usually hear this about adverbs. You’ve all also probably heard that a writer should only use two exclamation points–IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE! (oops, there goes one.) The point isn’t really about whatever has been made the butt of the joke in this particular iteration. The point is that a really bad writer will always have a primary-school understanding of what a “successful literary device” is, and then proceed to turn that device into the writing-equivalent of a nervous tic, peppering every sentence with different (or the same) versions of whatever it is they think is working. And it’s not just in “literature.” my 101 students do this all the time. It’s yet another reason to read your work out loud when you’re editing it. You’ll always hear repetitions before you read them–when it comes to your own work, at least.

  29. Justin Taylor

      Thanks for these links, Ken. I’ll be interested to see how the agent thing turns out, and that essay is easily my favorite piece of Rick Barthelme writing I’ve ever read.

      re similes- I usually hear this about adverbs. You’ve all also probably heard that a writer should only use two exclamation points–IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE! (oops, there goes one.) The point isn’t really about whatever has been made the butt of the joke in this particular iteration. The point is that a really bad writer will always have a primary-school understanding of what a “successful literary device” is, and then proceed to turn that device into the writing-equivalent of a nervous tic, peppering every sentence with different (or the same) versions of whatever it is they think is working. And it’s not just in “literature.” my 101 students do this all the time. It’s yet another reason to read your work out loud when you’re editing it. You’ll always hear repetitions before you read them–when it comes to your own work, at least.

  30. Ken Baumann

      Nathan: Thanks for being calm and having a sense of humor. I look forward to the results of the contest.

  31. Ken Baumann

      Nathan: Thanks for being calm and having a sense of humor. I look forward to the results of the contest.

  32. Ken Baumann

      Heidegger.

  33. Ken Baumann

      Heidegger.

  34. Nathan Bransford

      I’m just glad it led me here. This is a great blog.

  35. Nathan Bransford

      I’m just glad it led me here. This is a great blog.

  36. Ryan Call

      what a pleasant thread of comments!

  37. Ryan Call

      what a pleasant thread of comments!

  38. davidpeak

      i learned and grew up a little.

  39. davidpeak

      i learned and grew up a little.

  40. David Erlewine

      Nathan Bransford, has (for years it seems), has showed up at Absolute Write and answered writers’ questions from time to time. He’s always been professional, helpful, supportive, and kind towards writers.

      Of course, now I know his teeth are jacked like that guy called Jaws in some of the older James Bond films. Let’s just say I’m going to take his advice like I take my one-year-old daughter’s advice on what to eat off the floor. I have to say that David Peak growing up a little is as cool as my friend’s wife telling me that she’s fucking around on him a little and not just with me. This paragraph is like ten of my stories in terms of profundity.

  41. David Erlewine

      Nathan Bransford, has (for years it seems), has showed up at Absolute Write and answered writers’ questions from time to time. He’s always been professional, helpful, supportive, and kind towards writers.

      Of course, now I know his teeth are jacked like that guy called Jaws in some of the older James Bond films. Let’s just say I’m going to take his advice like I take my one-year-old daughter’s advice on what to eat off the floor. I have to say that David Peak growing up a little is as cool as my friend’s wife telling me that she’s fucking around on him a little and not just with me. This paragraph is like ten of my stories in terms of profundity.

  42. David Erlewine

      Realizing my inclusion of “has” twice is as infuriating as the time my friend’s mom Angela wouldn’t let us cum anywhere but her white sweater, which she’d tossed in the laundry hamper.

  43. David Erlewine

      Realizing my inclusion of “has” twice is as infuriating as the time my friend’s mom Angela wouldn’t let us cum anywhere but her white sweater, which she’d tossed in the laundry hamper.

  44. pr

      One of my problems with the only two similes or adverbs or exclamation points or any sort of advice is- how does one get better at writing similes if they don’t write them? If most writers are not good at writing siimiles, shouldn’t they try to get better at that? By writing them? The same goes with placing an adverb or using punctuation in general.
      My two cents.

  45. pr

      One of my problems with the only two similes or adverbs or exclamation points or any sort of advice is- how does one get better at writing similes if they don’t write them? If most writers are not good at writing siimiles, shouldn’t they try to get better at that? By writing them? The same goes with placing an adverb or using punctuation in general.
      My two cents.

  46. davidpeak

      I just think any broad rules or maxims relating to writing are pointless. The story, or the sentences, or the paragraph, or the writer’s intention of communicating whatever it is they’re trying to communicate, will determine the best way to get it done.

      Gary Lutz got creative with adverbs. Richard Wright used them well. Am I saying that this makes adverbs okay? No. Typically they’re flabby. But that doesn’t mean they’re worthless.

      Same thing with similes. Graham Greene used them sparingly and to great effect. Other writers, like Nabokov, use them liberally and to great effect.

      Deterring someone from using similes on the grounds that they’re frequently abused is just silly. Sometimes you’ve got to make mistakes in order to learn from them. Good writing, or being able to write well, is just as much about process as it is about knowledge.

  47. davidpeak

      I just think any broad rules or maxims relating to writing are pointless. The story, or the sentences, or the paragraph, or the writer’s intention of communicating whatever it is they’re trying to communicate, will determine the best way to get it done.

      Gary Lutz got creative with adverbs. Richard Wright used them well. Am I saying that this makes adverbs okay? No. Typically they’re flabby. But that doesn’t mean they’re worthless.

      Same thing with similes. Graham Greene used them sparingly and to great effect. Other writers, like Nabokov, use them liberally and to great effect.

      Deterring someone from using similes on the grounds that they’re frequently abused is just silly. Sometimes you’ve got to make mistakes in order to learn from them. Good writing, or being able to write well, is just as much about process as it is about knowledge.

  48. davidpeak

      Only a little, Dave. And then this morning I woke up and I was the same again.

  49. davidpeak

      Only a little, Dave. And then this morning I woke up and I was the same again.

  50. pr

      In agreement.
      Great examples. Writing is all over the place- I wish I could use adjectives like Mary Gaitskill- I can’t. But I’m very glad she does her thing. I think if we really look at people’s work, there are more exceptions than rules- whether it be similes, pov, subject matter (I love the whole “no cancer stories” and then you read Chris Adrian or Marisa Silver…and so on)..

  51. pr

      In agreement.
      Great examples. Writing is all over the place- I wish I could use adjectives like Mary Gaitskill- I can’t. But I’m very glad she does her thing. I think if we really look at people’s work, there are more exceptions than rules- whether it be similes, pov, subject matter (I love the whole “no cancer stories” and then you read Chris Adrian or Marisa Silver…and so on)..

  52. David Erlewine

      pr and dp, good points. i am terrible at metaphors/similes, have been for my 30+ years of writing (I’m 68, started late). i will never be more than functional at them so i stay away (same for adverbs). i agree that following any rules b/c someone says you have to is for lemmings. i write enough shit at work every day in legal briefs that writing stuff that i’m just terrible at 1 am is annoying. same reason most of my stories have little descriptions of people. i flout that rule all the time, the one that says you have to create a picture for the reader of what the character looks like. whenever i read something about “a man” i picture a guy that looks like me, etc.

  53. David Erlewine

      pr and dp, good points. i am terrible at metaphors/similes, have been for my 30+ years of writing (I’m 68, started late). i will never be more than functional at them so i stay away (same for adverbs). i agree that following any rules b/c someone says you have to is for lemmings. i write enough shit at work every day in legal briefs that writing stuff that i’m just terrible at 1 am is annoying. same reason most of my stories have little descriptions of people. i flout that rule all the time, the one that says you have to create a picture for the reader of what the character looks like. whenever i read something about “a man” i picture a guy that looks like me, etc.

  54. David Erlewine

      another thing we have in common…

  55. David Erlewine

      another thing we have in common…

  56. David Erlewine

      Chris Adrian is one of my favorites. Have you read the story of his in Esquire from nov 07 called PROMISE BREAKER? That is one of the best stories I’ve read.

  57. David Erlewine

      Chris Adrian is one of my favorites. Have you read the story of his in Esquire from nov 07 called PROMISE BREAKER? That is one of the best stories I’ve read.

  58. pr

      I understand the need for generalizations, but maxims are different. Generally, adverbs are flabby. But thne to put a number on it- that is when I bristle a bit. Many writers are fantastic with similes….a good one is so lovely. Even an awkward one that is full of heart… which made me think of this poem I read…maybe I’ll post it…

  59. pr

      I understand the need for generalizations, but maxims are different. Generally, adverbs are flabby. But thne to put a number on it- that is when I bristle a bit. Many writers are fantastic with similes….a good one is so lovely. Even an awkward one that is full of heart… which made me think of this poem I read…maybe I’ll post it…

  60. davidpeak

      post it. do it.

  61. davidpeak

      post it. do it.

  62. Nathan Bransford

      I agree to a certain extent that maxims are rules aren’t worth much, and I always say “if it works, it works”. Because in the right hands any writer can break any “rule” and make it work.

      But at the same time, a lot of writers who haven’t gone through creative writing school or participated in a good feedback group don’t realize what they’re doing. They don’t think about the fact that they’ve littered their novel with similes as heavy as giant boulders, and yet they include them because they sound writerly. So my intent was to hopefully make people think a little bit about what they’re doing because some of the similes I see in manuscripts are as bad as a serial killer on a bad day.

      There are writers with an incredible gift for similes. They’re rare. My intent wasn’t to write similes off entirely, but to get new writers to really think about what they’re doing.

      Oh, and the “rule” about two similes originated with either Stephen Dixon or Alice McDermott, who are the instructors at the Johns Hopkins MFA program. And if you don’t think I know what I’m doing, they certainly do.

  63. Nathan Bransford

      I agree to a certain extent that maxims are rules aren’t worth much, and I always say “if it works, it works”. Because in the right hands any writer can break any “rule” and make it work.

      But at the same time, a lot of writers who haven’t gone through creative writing school or participated in a good feedback group don’t realize what they’re doing. They don’t think about the fact that they’ve littered their novel with similes as heavy as giant boulders, and yet they include them because they sound writerly. So my intent was to hopefully make people think a little bit about what they’re doing because some of the similes I see in manuscripts are as bad as a serial killer on a bad day.

      There are writers with an incredible gift for similes. They’re rare. My intent wasn’t to write similes off entirely, but to get new writers to really think about what they’re doing.

      Oh, and the “rule” about two similes originated with either Stephen Dixon or Alice McDermott, who are the instructors at the Johns Hopkins MFA program. And if you don’t think I know what I’m doing, they certainly do.

  64. davidpeak

      “my intent wasn’t to write similes off entirely, but to get new writers to really think about what they’re doing.”

      nathan, i think this really clears things up. pretty much says it all. writers make choices, one word at a time. and if you’re not thinking about why you’re making those choices, the writing is going to suffer.

      your intentions have been in the right place from the beginning, i’m sure.

      now let’s all make out.

  65. davidpeak

      “my intent wasn’t to write similes off entirely, but to get new writers to really think about what they’re doing.”

      nathan, i think this really clears things up. pretty much says it all. writers make choices, one word at a time. and if you’re not thinking about why you’re making those choices, the writing is going to suffer.

      your intentions have been in the right place from the beginning, i’m sure.

      now let’s all make out.

  66. Nathan Bransford

      Well, if it wasn’t a failure of intent it was definitely a failure of articulation, because it’s not the first time I’ve taken shit for that post. I should have been clearer.

      And I hate the word “bromance”, but davidpeak, sometimes if the shoe just fits it just fits.

  67. Nathan Bransford

      Well, if it wasn’t a failure of intent it was definitely a failure of articulation, because it’s not the first time I’ve taken shit for that post. I should have been clearer.

      And I hate the word “bromance”, but davidpeak, sometimes if the shoe just fits it just fits.

  68. nicolle elizabeth

      that Barth. = excellent.
      why did i ever by robeson is great
      a better angel by adrian is great did you know he’s also a doctor irl too?
      erlewine i owe you copies sorry is that bad internet form
      it was kierkegaard.

  69. nicolle elizabeth

      (kidding on the kierkegaard part)

  70. nicolle elizabeth

      that Barth. = excellent.
      why did i ever by robeson is great
      a better angel by adrian is great did you know he’s also a doctor irl too?
      erlewine i owe you copies sorry is that bad internet form
      it was kierkegaard.

  71. nicolle elizabeth

      (kidding on the kierkegaard part)