December 2nd, 2011 / 1:22 pm

ToBS R1: announcing yourself as ‘available for interviews’ vs. following several thousand people on twitter

[Matchup #10 in Tournament of Bookshit]

Announcing yourself as ‘available for interviews’ seems fine to me. I don’t see anything wrong with letting people know that you’re available to be interviewed. It’s different than saying ‘interview me’ (command) or ‘I need people to interview me’ (desperate) because it conveys information in a non-obligatory manner that also makes the person announcing it seem busy and ‘prestigious,’ to some degree, via the implication that s/he isn’t always available to be interviewed.

Following several thousand people on Twitter seems like pussy shit to me. Following a small amount of people means you either fuck with people you like and/or follow people based on the quality of their tweets. Following no one means you don’t fuck with anyone else’s tweets. Following several thousand people means you fuck with whomever and/or are trying to garner ‘follow backs’ to increase your amount of followers. To me, following a small amount of people or no one is hard; following several thousand people is pussy shit.

Following several thousand people is pussy shit because it shows that you publically fuck with a large group of people who obviously don’t fuck with you back. It’s pussy shit because it means that >1/2 of your followers are more than likely ‘follow backs,’ meaning the majority of the people who follow you probably don’t care about you or your tweets. It’s pussy shit because, unless you spend an unseemly amount of time reading other’s tweets, there’s no way you can actually read every tweet from every person they follow.

Recently, more than ever, I’ve felt and feel strongly that people suck. It’s better to keep a small circle; to focus more energy on your homies and less on others who may or may not be down to ride or die with or for you. People who follow several thousand of people on Twitter seem like they couldn’t feel similarly unless they follow thousands of people for other reasons than the reasons listed above, which is possible but, based on what I’ve seen/heard, rare.

It is for these reasons that I vote ‘following several thousand people on Twitter’ as the winner.

Jordan Castro

– – –

WINNER: following several thousand people on Twitter


  1. Craig Ronald Marchinkoski
  2. Ass

      pussy shit


  3. shaun gannon

      i was robbed

  4. tao

      *idgi* i thought we were suppose to choose the less worse one to be the ‘winner’ *idgi*

  5. M. Kitchell

      seems like different people are choosing different ways, which is probably why the “odds” are really in absolutely no one’s favor unless they chose their bracket entirely randomly

  6. davidpeak

      i chose entirely randomly and i’m still getting fucked by the judges

  7. Blake Butler

       it is a tournament of no logic, like a tournament

  8. Jordan
  9. Sorry bro but srsly

      seems like you’re becoming a self important semi-famous asshole

  10. Tummler
  11. Jordan
  12. Leapsloth14

      “I’m available for interviews” is pretentious and laced with poor insight of the writer’s own cottonballs within the nothing inhaler. If someone wants to interview you they will either contact you or punch you in the face. (And then record it because if it isn’t recorded and shared, it never happened. As we know.)

  13. deadgod

      I feel that following no one on Twitter is easy.  I also feel that writers announcing availability to be the center of attention is nearly redundant.

  14. Craig Ronald Marchinkoski

      lol. ludacris makes me smile. when he comes to mine he’s always like, put that big john shit on, craig. and he says craig like chris tucker does when chris tucker  tries to get ice cube high.
      put that big john shit on

  15. Mason Johnson
  16. Ed Halliday

      haha, whoa

  17. Scott Lewis

      Your life’s redundant. Think about it.

  18. Scott Lewis

      Saying a K-Mart Realist of the Tao Lin model is attention seeking is kind of redundant.

  19. Trey

      zingaaaaa zing zingaaaaaaaaaa

  20. Guestagain

      just got back from kmart, it’s still almost too real to tolerate

  21. Guestagain

      Recently, more than ever, I’ve felt and feel strongly that people suck.
      el o el, the evidence pours in, next epiphany is the person in the mirror suks, o chiz

  22. Chappy

      Ageōmétrētos mēdeìs eisítō.

  23. Guestagain

      Diploûn horôsin hoi mathóntes grámmata.

  24. deadgod

      From where you’re sitting, yours isn’t.  That’s what I’m thinking about.

  25. Matt Rowan

      Someone might offer to pepper spray another person as well. This happened. I recall it well. It was sincere, too. As sincere as a punch in the face. Eh, Jordan? Still indifferent to you but teetering to the “it would be enjoyable to see you get pepper sprayed” side of things. 

  26. deadgod

      I’ll make you to see figuratleavely the whome of your eternal geomater.

  27. Anonymous

  28. Jordan

      i was being sincere too

      if someone raises ~$60 i will film a video of someone pepper spraying me (it can be you, matt, we’d just have to wait until we’re in the same place at the same time – unless you could make that happen, monetarily – so i wouldn’t have to spend $ to get to [place])

  29. Matt Rowan

      Sounds good. I guess, give it only a little time. I’ll be sad if I’m not able to pepper spray. Not because I’m a sadist, but because I’ve learned pepper spray exists to be sprayed in faces. 

  30. Anonymous

  31. Anonymous

  32. James

      …”others who may or may not be down to ride or die with or for you.”