HTMLGIANT Features

HTMLGIANT’s Tournament of Bookshit

This year in place of our regular “Mean Week,” HTMLGIANT will be running something we’d like to call our Tournament of Bookshit, in which 64 book related shits will be placed into an NCAA style bracket to square off and determine, by the most arbitrary means possible, [something]. What that [something] is I have no idea, but I do know that our tournament will operate by the same wily-nily sure let’s do it this way found in most any literary competition, whether it be list making, book jousting, or whatever else you’ve got.

Below you’ll find a list of the 64 entities selected pretty much on a whim to be our contestants. They’re silly. For each round a guest judge of various description and sensibilities will analyze each in light of each other and then select one by whatever terms they like to go forward, with perhaps a Mean Week attitude in mind. In the end, we’ll crown a very special winner the King Shit Mountain of Super Bookshit.

We’ve also set up, for those taking score at home, a bracket system where you can fill out your predictions if you want. It requires you to sign up but only takes a second. At the end we’ll have a prize pool of literary stuff to give to whoever somehow pulls that magic high score out of the hat of darkness.

Any authors/publishers/etc interesting in throwing in on the prizes, please leave a comment with what you’d like to give away and we’ll include it in the winnings and link it in a round up of Kind Souls.

Registration and prediction is free and will be open until the first decisions begin posting on Wednesday around Noon. Playoffs will continue at whatever pace they continue at.

The contestants:

////////////////////

EAST

* ‘magic realism’ vs. living in Brooklyn
* Facebook status updates re: present MS word count vs. Alcoholism

* excessively long list of credits including pushcart nominations in your bio vs. the guy who goes 20 minutes over the suggested reading time
* flarf vs. AWP

 

* livetweeting vs. [yourauthorname].com
* work at Best Buy vs. undergrad Lit 101 adjunct

* Calling yourself the editor-in-chief of an online journal vs posting pics of other people’s books on facebook
* ‘is the author of’ vs. bowties

 

MIDWEST

* “everybody has a story” vs. “show don’t tell”
* announcing yourself as ‘available for interviews’ vs. following several thousand people on twitter

* literary marriage vs. child of famous author’s novel
* NaNoWriMo vs. ‘What is your novel about?’

 

* no-taste design aesthetic online magazine (ie w/ blogger template + google ads) vs. Daily facebook updates of what you ate / listened to while writing today
* gordon lish vs. foot fetish

* emailing drafts of your writing to people you dont know vs. readings with so many people reading no one listens to anyone
* hating on Jonathan Franzen vs. hating on Jonathan Safran Foer

 

SOUTH

* characters that ‘just have to have their stories told’ vs. celebrity fiction
* talking shit about the New Yorker while submitting frequently to the New Yorker vs. dream sequence w/ talking animals

* ‘short-short’ referring to whiskey consumption vs. asking for facebook ‘friends’ to review your book on amazon
* ‘curating’ a reading series vs. crossing off your typed name and signing your name below it in your book

 

* Chapbook blurbs vs Facebook-based political ‘activism’
* lit blogging at age 35 vs. tweeting at age 45

* calling anything you write a manuscript vs. author photos
* Gmail chat people who are always visible vs. people who leave really long comments / ask long questions

 

WEST

* declaring ‘__ is dead’ vs. nationwide facebook invite to local reading
* horny middle aged balding poetry professor on campus vs. horny college age dude-bro poet on facebook

* trolling for spelling errors in blog posts vs. changing your facebook picture daily
* Sewage Treatment Technologies vs. The Pulitzer Prize

 

* discussion of gender in publishing vs. discussion of race in publishing
* the Georgia Review vs dinner at Chili’s

* middle aged white male heterosexual sex scene vs. middle age white male self published sci fi novel pt 1 of 4
* ‘lyric essays’ vs. Daily facebook updates on what you’re doing with your students

 

 

/////////////// FILL OUT YOUR BRACKET NOW

121 Comments

  1. Anonymous

      The Lit Pub will donate a snazzy T-shirt and a stack of random books.

  2. Adam Robinson

      PGP prize offering is a further contest — Poetry vs. Fiction — cuz winner takes two new new books: Melissa Broder’s poems Meat Heart and Justin Sirois’s novel Falcons on the Floor.

  3. Adam Robinson

      Also, is nothing sacred?

  4. crispin best

      this is gonna be cool.

      weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  5. Timothy Gager

      I’ll donate a copy of, Treating A Sick Animal, Flash and Micro Fictions

  6. Erik Stinson

      lol.. the brackets..

      the fucking info 

  7. mark leidner

      $5 cash to the winner

  8. Anonymous

      lol

  9. Janey Smith

      Bowl of dicks. Just wanted to say it. Bowl of dicks.

  10. Heather Christle

      vs. Kickstarter campaign video to raise $5 cash for the winner

  11. Roxane

      Yessssss

  12. Sam Ligon

      I’d like to see poems about poetry take on late 1970s cocaine snorting in discos.

  13. Jimmy Chen

      i love the brackets — i’ll donate *signed* first edition [Knopf, New York, 2005] of ishiguro’s ‘never let me go,’ hard cover w/ dust jacket ‘fine condition’

  14. Anonymous

      Moonshot will donate a subscription (latest issue + upcoming issue).

  15. DieDieCry

      Is this an appropriation of “Faster Times” ?

  16. Tron

      Good brackets but what is up with switching between American quote usage and British quote usage randomly? 

  17. deadgod

      “trolling”/’trawling’ vs. “wily-nily” coyote

  18. deadgod

      The Internet Literature Magazine Blog of the Future Won’t Sit This One Out

      vs.

      Occupy HTMLGIANT

  19. Ken Baumann

      A copy of In The Skin Of A Lion
      $5

  20. Ken Baumann

      Damn. The brackets were hard.

  21. Madison Langston

      shame and pleasure from that shame in the form of text/shame and pleasure from that shame in the form of a coke drip, late 70s discos win as long as everyone keeps the ‘coke talk’ to a minimum

  22. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      BOWTIES FTW

  23. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      TEAM BOWTIES

  24. JSA Lowe

      I’m scared to do this in case I win. But it is the best idea since, um, since tweeting at age 45.

  25. gina

      birds of lace will donate an assortment of chapbooks, plus a copy of anna joy springer’s ‘the birdwisher.’

  26. Tummler

      Bowties totally won on my bracket too. Final matchup was Bowties vs. Dinner at Chili’s.

  27. Scott Riley Irvine

      Which guest judges can I pay to become lobbyists for ‘Hating on Franzen’?

  28. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      Mine was bowties vs. horny professors. I’ve got a teacher fetish. But fashion is the fetish of fetishes!

  29. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      I was of course upset about choosing between race and gender, but I assume that shit storm will come down later — I wonder what unfortunate individual has been set up to judge that?

  30. Amber

      This is amazing. And way more fun than Mean Week.

  31. David Fishkind

      every poem is about poetry

  32. Daniel Bailey

      i’ve got dinner at chili’s winning it all.

  33. 88888888888888888888888

      Prize for guessing Dinner at Chili’s: Dinner at Applebee’s

  34. Ronnie

      We’ll donate some Brows! This looks great.

  35. creative writing @ the university of wyoming

      […] talking about writing: HTMLGIANT just released its Tournament of Bookshit bracket. I’m no expert, but this seems a pretty good representation of writers. Note the battles […]

  36. deadgod

      vs. poems should not mean, but be

  37. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      My favorite matchup was Discussing gender in publishing vs. Dinner at Chile’s because it read like “Discussing gender in publishing while eating dinner at Chile’s.”

      Anyone else get Reading with tons of readers? Anyone?

  38. Craig Ronald Marchinkoski

      was close to getting the reading with readers one. very close. for sure. but. sci fi old white guy book 1 had to win. it just had to. 

  39. Adam Robinson

      Me too. They narrowly edge out flarf.

  40. jamison

      Spork will throw in three chapbooks– “The Necropastoral” by Joyelle McSweeney, “From the Fjords” by Zachary Schomburg, and “Complements, Of Us” by Heather Palmer. 

  41. Roxane

      PANK will throw in PANK 5 and Matthew Salesses’s book. Tiny Hardcore will throw in copies of our first four titles–Normally Special, Please Don’t Be Upset, So You Know It’s Me, and Steal Me for Your Stories. 

  42. DiTrapano

      Calling yourself the editor-in-chief of an online journal ”  classic

  43. DTtrapano

      “nationwide facebook invite to local reading”  lol

  44. Leapsloth14

      I’ll throw in 3 copies of Fog.

      Sean

  45. Gian

      I’ll throw in a year subscription to the Tyrant. Which could mean almost less than one book, but won’t.

  46. ZZZZZIPPP

      ALCOHOLIZZZM TAKES IT. 

      GENDER VS. CHILE’S WAS DELICIOUS

  47. deadgod
  48. deadgod
  49. Nate

      English 101 Adjunct, FTW.

  50. reynard

      deadgod vs. THE IMPENDING SILENCE

  51. barry

      pretty sure i blew my bracket in round one picking foot fetish over gordon lish. 

  52. Daniel Bailey

      for the winner, i’ll throw in a copy of “nim chimpsky: live at the german bordello” by me and elizabeth taddonio. 

  53. Jason Jimenez

      show dont tell

  54. John Sakkis

      Yassou Agori,

      I’ll throw in a copy of my Maribor, Chinese Notebook and Rude Girl. 

      xoxox

  55. Christopher Higgs

      I’ve got “Hating on Franzen” for the win.

  56. werdfert

      i’ve been wanting fantasy football for nerds for the longest time. is this it?

  57. Lily Hoang

      PUERTO DEL SOL will donate a one-year subscription and a copy of Carmen’s book, THE CITY SHE WAS. 

  58. 2011 Tournament of Bookshit Brackets & Prizes | HTMLGIANT

      […] predictions for the 2011 Tournament of Bookshit will close tomorrow at noon eastern time, at which point the tourney will […]

  59. Kimberlyannjosephine
  60. deadgod

      ha ha never surrender

      reyn breyn vs. helen keller falling down in a forest

  61. ToBS R1: ‘magic realism’ vs. living in brooklyn | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #1 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  62. Amy McDaniel

      i really needed mean week this year. these brackets are funny but the posts about it will not be even if gian wrote all of them. it’s going to be like the lamest oscar party ever

  63. Andy Pressman
  64. spenserdavis

      Would appreciate some links on this page. damn. 

  65. Spenser Davis

      Would have appreciated some links on here. damn.

  66. ToBS R1: livetweeting vs. [yourauthorname].com | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #5 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  67. ToBS R1: work at Best Buy vs. undergrad Lit 101 adjunct | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #6 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  68. ToBS R1: Calling yrself editor-in-chief of online jrnl vs posting pics of other people’s books on facebook | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #7 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  69. ToBS R1: ‘is the author of’ vs. bowties | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #8 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  70. ToBS R1: “everybody has a story” vs. “show don’t tell” | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #9 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  71. ToBS R1: announcing yourself as ‘available for interviews’ vs. following several thousand people on twitter | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #10 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  72. ToBS R1: literary marriage vs. child of famous author’s novel | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #11 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  73. Cameron

      excited for  “horny middle aged balding poetry professor on campus vs. horny college age dude-bro poet on facebook”

  74. ToBS R1: NaNoWriMo vs. ‘What is your novel about?’ | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #12 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  75. Books for Non-Readers, the Most Depressing Book, Dali’s Wonderland, and More Lit Links « Fiction

      […] Speaking of year end features, HTMLGIANT has launched a pretty hilarious “tournament of bookshit” pitting the most annoying aspects of the literary world against each other. Early rounds include […]

  76. Blake Wolf

      I took my brackets literally, and decided what I actually preferred of the two, practically or conceptually. I ended up with  alcoholism winning over ‘lyric essays.’

      Final Winner:
      Alcoholism over Lyric Essays

      The toughest contests for me were:
      living in Brooklyn vs. Alcoholism; celebrity fiction vs. dream sequences with animals; declaring ‘___ is dead vs. horny middle-aged balding professors (as those two are complementary); and lastly, Sewage Treatment Technologies vs. The Pulitzer Prize.Thank you htmlgiant for helping me kill time with such pointlessly productive entertainment.

  77. ToBS R1: no-taste design aesthetic online magazine vs. facebook updates of what you ate / listened to | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #13 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  78. Anonymous

      I want to nominate two contenders for next year: the phrase “budding author” and the term “authoress.” Both give me the heebie jeebies.

  79. ToBS R1: gordon lish vs. foot fetish | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #14 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  80. ToBS R1: emailing yr writing to people you dont know vs. readings w/ so many people reading no one listens | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #15 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  81. ToBS R1: hating on Jonathan Franzen vs. hating on Jonathan Safran Foer | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #16 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  82. Tournament of Bookshits | Full Stop

      […] Here’s a list of all the first round match-ups. […]

  83. m. bartley seigel

      I’ll throw a [PANK] tshirt into this hot mess if it ain’t too late. 

  84. ToBS R1: characters that ‘just have to have their stories told’ vs. celebrity fiction | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #17 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  85. ToBS R1: talking shit about New Yorker while submitting frqntly to NYer vs. dream sequence w talking animals | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #18 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  86. ToBS R1: shortshort referring to whiskey consumption vs. asking facebook friends to review yr book on amazon | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #19 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  87. ToBS R1: ‘curating’ a reading series vs. crossing off typed name & signing your name below it in yr book | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #20 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  88. ToBS R1: Gmail chat people who are always visible vs. People who leave really long comments | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #21 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  89. ToBS R1: calling anything you write a manuscript vs. author photos | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #22 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  90. ToBS R1: lit blogging at age 35 vs. tweeting at age 45 | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #22 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  91. ToBS R1: Chapbook blurbs vs Facebook-based political ‘activism’ | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #24 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  92. ToBS R1: declaring ‘__ is dead’ vs. nationwide facebook invite to local reading | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #25 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  93. ToBS R1: horny middle aged balding poetry professor on campus vs. horny college age dude-bro poet on facebook | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #26 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  94. ToBS R1: trolling for spelling errors in blog posts vs. changing your facebook picture daily | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #27 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  95. ToBS R1: Sewage Treatment Technologies vs. The Pulitzer Prize | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #28 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  96. ToBS R1: discussion of gender in publishing vs. discussion of race in publishing | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #29 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  97. ToBS R1: the Georgia Review vs dinner at Chili’s | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #30 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  98. Thursday Treat: Links I’m lovin’ 12/8/2011 « Limited Edition Love

      […] Tournament of Book Shit? Hell yes! […]

  99. ToBS R1: middle age white male sex scene vs. middle age white male self published sci fi novel pt 1 of 4 | HTMLGIANT

      […] [Matchup #31 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  100. ToBS R1: ‘lyric essays’ vs. Daily facebook updates on what you’re doing with your students | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #32 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  101. ToBS R1: ‘lyric essays’ vs. Daily facebook updates on what you’re doing with your students | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #32 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  102. Weekly Roundup | | Origami Zoo PressOrigami Zoo Press

      […] is running a “bookshit” tournament this month, brackets and all, featuring some great writers deciding the outcome […]

  103. adam

      Donating own poetry book to HTMLGIANT tournament of bookshit vs making fun of donating own poetry book to HTLMGIANT tournament of bookshit while still actually donating own poetry book to HTMLGIANT tournament of bookshit

  104. ToBS R2: ‘magic realism’ vs. Alcoholism | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #33 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  105. Book Bracket « Stacked

      […] latest reading so that we wouldn’t look like a dunce and we were led indirectly to the Tournament of Book#*!#, a betting activity for those of us who are left out of the March pools.  What a wonderful world […]

  106. ToBS R2: the guy who goes 20 minutes over the suggested reading time vs. AWP | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #34 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  107. ToBS R2: [yourauthorname].com vs. working at Best Buy | HTMLGIANT

      […] #35 in Tournament of Bookshit] adamrobinson.com redirects to some Sarasota Real Estate company. That’s […]

  108. ToBS R2: Calling yourself the editor-in-chief of an online journal vs. bowties | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #36 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  109. ToBS R2: ‘everybody has a story’ vs. following several thousand people on twitter | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #37 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  110. ToBS R2: literary marriage vs. NaNoWriMo | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #37 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  111. ToBS R2: Daily facebook updates of what you ate / listened to while writing today vs. Gordon lish | HTMLGIANT

      […]  [Matchup #38 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  112. ToBS R2: emailing drafts of your writing to people you dont know vs. hating on jonathan safran foer | HTMLGIANT

      […] [matchup #40 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  113. ToBS R2: declaring ‘__ is dead’ vs. horny middle aged balding poetry professor on campus | HTMLGIANT

      […] [matchup #41 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  114. ToBS R2: trolling for spelling errors in blog posts vs Sewage Treatment Technologies | HTMLGIANT

      […] [matchup #46 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  115. ToBS R2: ‘lyric essays’ vs. middle age white male self published sci fi novel pt 1 of 4 | HTMLGIANT

      […] [matchup #47 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  116. ToBS3: Alcoholism vs the guy who goes 20 minutes over suggested reading time | HTMLGIANT

      […] [matchup #49 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  117. ToBS3: Alcoholism vs the guy who goes 20 minutes over suggested reading time | HTMLGIANT

      […] [matchup #49 in Tournament of Bookshit] […]

  118. Mark Folse

      What a wonderful writing prompt. I’m too busy trying to turn one of the contestants into a story to bother with a bracket, but I rather rooting for the South’s ”
      ‘short-short’ referring to whiskey consumption” if I can only get the story down to 500 words.

  119. Mark Folse

      What a fabulous set of writing prompts. I’m too busy trying to get this story on 
      ‘short-short’ referring to whiskey consumption down to 500 words to submit a bracket.

  120. Tournament of Bookshit Final 4 | HTMLGIANT

      […] BOOKSHIT SEMIFINALS […]

  121. mouse click the next page

      mouse click the next page

      HTMLGIANT’s Tournament of Bookshit | HTMLGIANT