January 31st, 2012 / 6:06 pm

ToBS R2: discussion of gender in publishing vs. dinner at Chili’s

[matchup #44 in Tournament of Bookshit]

I’m pretty sure that Chili’s is really fucking gross. In fairness, I don’t think I’ve been there in over fifteen years or so. I’ve been riding that wave a lot of us are on, where I justify my lack of actual political actions by my worldly, educated decision making and feeling like it is something akin to “personal protest.” I eat organic kale often, and I feel superior packing it in my reusable tote, is what I’m saying. However, Chili’s has one thing that self-congratulation does not– the Awesome Blossom, which, for the sadly uninformed, is a “bloomed” and deep fried sweet onion with a dipping sauce topping out at 2,710 calories that often sparks large waves of passion and controversy. The texture is oddly light and easy to digest, a hint of spice in both the breading and the sauce. It finishes on the palate as a well-balanced dish, surprisingly light on the acidity. Once, when I was about ten, I remember my sister attempting to order an Awesome Blossom as an entrée for herself. It left the family with disturbing questions to answer. Will she also be eating her fair share of the Awesome Blossom ordered as its proper course, an appetizer for the entire family? Could this possibly sustain her for the rest of the night? Etc. etc. etc.

Eventually it was decided that she could order the Awesome Blossom for dinner and she did, on many occasions.

Conversely, women are marginalized and this sucks.

Kendra Grant Malone

* * *

Winner: dinner at Chili’s


  1. Brian M

      you really sold the Awesome Blossom. I like spinach better than kale. It is more irony. My stomach bleeds for it.

  2. marshall mallicoat

      chili’s is alright

  3. deadgod

      arguing that Tender Buttons is the ‘Shakespeare of poetry’ vs. washing dishes at Chili’s for one weekend

      winner:  whatever one, pushed into a corner, will or will not do to make oneself comfortable