October 26th, 2010 / 6:51 pm
Mean & Snippets

CONTEST! My favorite line in Lost is when Sawyer walks up to Jack and Juliet mid-intense-conversation and says to them, “What yall doing, arguing about who’s your favorite Other?” In the spirit of that and mean, who is your favorite HTMLGiant troll, past or present? deadgod? MFBomb? mimi? Christopher Higgs? Mather Schneider? phmadore? What would your grandfather say if he met the troll? Winner gets to direct a bromantic comedy with the troll and any 3 of our contributors or frequent non-troll commenters.

63 Comments

  1. MFBomb

      The post isn’t interesting enough for me to “see the edit,” though I appreciate the love. It is, however, that you label me a troll when most of my issues are with admin trolls. Bully.

  2. MFBomb

      *It is, however, interesting…

  3. Jordan Gillespie

      I third ZZZIP.

  4. Matthew Simmons

      Now that he’s been mentioned again, Mather will have a new reason to post on Trick With a Knife!

      See! It’s not dead!

  5. Amy McDaniel

      maybe i should have misspelled it “Snider” so it wouldn’t show up on his google alerts. though probably he has “mather” and “schmather” alerts too

  6. Guest

      Oh, wow, I’m flattered, Ms. Sycophant has called me out!

  7. Amy McDaniel

      See edit. How could I keep you in there when you address me with an unassuming, marital-status-neutral title? Though I have to say, conservative as I am, I really prefer MISS Sycophant.

  8. Guest

      The post isn’t interesting enough for me to “see the edit,” though I appreciate the love. It is, however, that you label me a troll when most of my issues are with admin trolls. Bully.

  9. Guest

      *It is, however, interesting…

  10. Trey

      is ZZZIPP a troll? I’ve never thought of him (it, the photon) as a troll, but I’ve heard him (it, the photon) referred to as a troll. ZZZIPP is my favorite.

  11. jereme_dean

      could someone define what being a “troll” is?

  12. Amy McDaniel

      do you feel left out?

  13. Guest

      Depends–would you like the actual definition, or the HTMLGiant definition?

  14. jereme_dean

      why the fuck would i feel left out? i don’t belong with any of these people, including you. i am here as a representative of JEREME DEAN.

      i was asking a genuine question. i don’t have any reference to what being a troll precisely is.

      the term is often used to censor any dissenting or nonconformist voice.

      so i was just curious.

      do you feel left out amy?

  15. jereme_dean

      both i guess.

  16. Troll

      can i nominate roxane gay or would that be too mean?

  17. Guest

      Oh, well you answered your question in the above post when you brought up censorship, at least for the HTMLGiant version.

      The real world version is just someone who likes to stir shit up for the sake of stirring shit up. For instance, when Blake Butler takes cheap shots at writers who are less successful than him and mocks them with those, “shut up and get over it” type posts, that’s trolling.

  18. Michael Filippone

      I second ZZZIP, a relatively benign and welcome troll.

  19. Amy McDaniel

      i’m just busting your chops, jereme. i thought we were cool like that. but to answer your question, troll is hard to define i guess. i’m using the word here to poke fun at commenters who, yes, sometimes dissent with me, but i’m not censoring them. censoring is silencing, not name-calling. i intentionally named a range of people to negate any possible sense that i was really calling any individual a troll. but it’s mean week. chill out.

  20. jereme_dean

      i love roxane but this shit was funny

  21. phmadore

      I would like to some clarification on the classification as well. I also now feel compelled to detail, in a separate post at Trick with a Knife, the chain of events which ever brought me to this particular internet asshole. It was shitting on me from the very first, which is a provable fact.Now, here is the question: am I troll because I troll the comment sections for interesting things to either bitch about, comment upon, or expand? Or is it because I charged you six pounds of gold that night I drove you to Blake Butler’s house all tanked on vodka and wanting to fuck. I swear I warned you that he wasn’t into guys, and I was only joking when I asked you to rub my belly button gem.

  22. jereme_dean

      amy, we are cool like that. i wasn’t being a dick. here, maybe the tone will be easier with this one:

      shit girl, why you trying to group me with these lame dick motherfuckers? none of these petty humans have dragon swagger like me.

      serizzlee though, what’s all this shit bout being a binary troll?

      is it some sort of feminine hygiene product or something?

      do i feel left out?

      lol

      sugarbird, do you?

  23. Amy McDaniel

      <3

  24. drewkalbach

      yall don’t even know what a troll is.

      if anyones a troll, it’s jereme dean.

  25. efferny jomes

      let’s all kiss

  26. jereme_dean

      and i used to be a contributor!

  27. deadgod

      lame-y mcspaniel = troll hag

  28. jereme_dean

      i think i understand why you would condemn blake as a troll.

      but he’s not attacking writers, he’s attacking their collective ideology. from what i read, it appears you are taking umbrage with blake himself rather than what he’s conveying?

  29. Jordan Gillespie

      I third ZZZIP.

  30. Justin RM

      This post: 6.7/10. Needs more troll.

  31. deadgod

      “Justin RM”: +/- 0. Needs testicle; chipmunk starter-kit recommended.

  32. Trollface

      Why are you no longer a contributor?

  33. zusya

      where is zippy these days? he/she have a kid or something?

  34. Christopher Higgs

      How come I’m on your troll list, Amy?

  35. Christopher Higgs

      Strike that query, Amy. We’ll see about this… :)

  36. Trey

      she’s just trollin

  37. deadgod

      She already explained the composition of her “list” in her exchange with JEREME DEAN, princess.

  38. Guest

      Well, I don’t think any of this stuff is important enough to use words like “condemn,” but posting snarky, “get over it”-type comments to writers who are not as successful as him seems more self-serving than an honest attack on any kind “of collective ideology.”

      What’s even more ironic is the fact that he’s mainly successful because of this site, the same that he sometimes uses to tell other writers to “get over it” when they vent about a rejection.

  39. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      I like ZZZIP, and I like deadgod, too, I don’t think of either of them as trolls.

  40. gena

      i was never a contributor…

  41. jereme_dean

      i fucked another contributor at awp and it got weird.

  42. mimi

      ha ha, nice

  43. Curious

      Who was it, Jereme?

  44. jereme_dean

      i can understand why you would get a little miffed. blake is arrogant sometimes. i don’t think that makes him a piece of shit or anything.

      why do you think his messages are directed only at writers less successful? i don’t see that distinction in his posts.

      this site is not the main reason why he’s successful. if you believe that, you haven’t known (about) blake for very long. has this site helped him? absolutely. it has also helped others, too.

      blake has spent equal time promoting both himself and literature in the 4 years i have interacted with him. it is almost impossible to find writer human beings like him.

      i think you should give him a break. maybe?

      plus i know for a fact he has a giant pussy. the guy needs to vent every now and then. he is human despite his best efforts.

  45. jereme_dean

      MADE A PROMISE NOT TO TELL

      ask me when i’m drunk and/or high

  46. P. H. Madore

      Amy, just in case you didn’t get the message: http://frsh.in/fu

      Swear that “eff eu” was randomized.

  47. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      I love “dragon swagger.”

  48. P. H. Madore

      You don’t see that distinction? Dean, come on now. I’ve never considered you less than completely intellectually honest, even if I think many of the things you believe are flawed and porous, and so I really urge you to reconsider that. Has Butler attacked a single more-successful writer who is alive, and has he done so with the same vigor he has used in put-downs directed at myself and other High School Graduates?

  49. deadgod 4 lyfe
  50. P. H. Madore

      Also, I present Jereme Dean as the standard of misogyny, and ask that he be consulted prior to any further defamation of my character in that vein.

  51. P. H. Madore

      * Based on the “has a giant pussy” statement in this post alone.

  52. P. H. Madore

      Gena Mowish.

  53. alan

      successful successful successful

  54. Roxane

      you can because you spelled my name correctly.

  55. jesusangelgarcia

      This sounds strange coming from you, Amy. You once told me how you didn’t like the word troll, and yet you’re using it for this post. I realize it’s “Mean Week,” but um… yeah, I dunno. I don’t really get what this is all about either. Maybe I need more sleep (or more drink).

  56. drewkalbach

      what’s a little intercourse between friends

  57. gena

      i was never a contributor…

  58. keedee

      I think ZZZZIIIPP hates the redesign.

  59. keedee

      Anybody remember Vin Diesel?

  60. Richard

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29

      In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

  61. deadgod

      social awkwardness = control over others’ comfort

      don’t be afraid of your superpowers, tribute band

  62. Nathan Tyree

      Higgs. Just because I like him and his writing.

  63. jereme_dean

      i am the standard of nothing. i don’t really care a kid’s twat what people label me as. i’ll be any jesus they need.

      finger pointing at someone doesn’t mitigate your fault(s). your conduct doesn’t magically change.

      when are you going to start taking responsibility for yourself? man the fuck up.

      “You don’t see that distinction? Dean, come on now. I’ve never considered you less than completely intellectually honest, even if I think many of the things you believe are flawed and porous, and so I really urge you to reconsider that. Has Butler attacked a single more-successful writer who is alive, and has he done so with the same vigor he has used in put-downs directed at myself and other High School Graduates?”

      huh? what put-downs and insults? are you confusing when he RESPONDS to something you’ve done or said?

      that’s on you.

      you keep bitching and complaining about the scene and your torturous exclusion from it.

      its people like you who BUILD a scene. if blake is wearing a crown its because of your infrastructure. you are just as guilty as any sycophant.

      the guy hasn’t done shit but promote indie literature & write. stop whining, WRITE and make your own scene.

      i mean if that dickdance is your crescendo, do it.