July 15th, 2010 / 3:08 pm
Random

Big Shoes

Has anyone else been reading Greg Oden’s webpage/blog? (“Greg Oden’s Recent Activity is empty!”) It’s like poetry of the clinically depressed. It’s so honest as to be beautiful.

Well to start, I woke up this morning with an itchy throat and a runny nose.

After media training, I went out to dinner with the little white guy, the really quick one and I think he told me he played soccer all summer.

The second half i went up to the press box because i was getting cold and was tired of standing.

I usually hate it when there is fruit with my meal.

The next night when i woke up i had a puddle of blood where i was sleeping. It was in the spot where my puddle of slobber is usually at.

No one really looks at me as a 19 year old kid, and no one has for a while now.

I never get a chance to just come out and be here to go see the sights and walk around.

Im actually here in Portland right now visiting Nike and on the way here I saw mountains with snow on it, I thought to myself its May.

I sucked worse then anybody who ever played golf, i didnt even have one decent shot.

Its so bad that i watch Cold Case up to 4 in the morning every week night, because it comes on TNT starting at 12 and they play 4 episodes back to back.

When i got back here and i was going to move in i didnt have anything in my room.

I get lost just about everytime I step out my room.

I don’t think I was supposed to do it anyway.

I saw a guy with a Ohio State shirt and I got hype I was like thats amazing someone who loves Ohio State then once i saw 30 more people with the same shirt I was like hold up not all these people like Ohio State, but its ok.

I was quiet most of the time, and when I did talk they told me to speak up.

After that i hung out at home with my dog who i havent seen in over a month.

I can keep going and going but mostly im thankful just to wake up each morning.

Tags: , ,

54 Comments

  1. mike young

      ha, these are terrific

      “I saw a guy with a Ohio State shirt and I got hype I was like thats amazing someone who loves Ohio State then once i saw 30 more people with the same shirt I was like hold up not all these people like Ohio State, but its ok.”

      is my favorite

  2. marshall

      Damn. He looks really old for his age.

  3. jd

      This guy’s blogs are so well written. My favorite is the one where he comes home one night after a short basketball practice. he is determined to help his team win this year. He goes on to say,

      “I really do hope I can help them win. The payed (sic) a lot of money for me, and I know that I can get over my chronic knee pains. They just hurt so bad. Yesterday morning I woke up, I thought to myself, ‘OK Greg, you can do this. This is your day!’ But when I turned my giant body around to get out of bed, I heard a giant popping sound. I knew it was my knees.”

  4. d

      Where do you access the blog? I can’t find it on the Yardbarker page.

  5. dan

      i think if i had an injury record like oden’s i’d be depressed too. but yeah, this is really great.

  6. d
  7. chet

      dan, you missed it. we were at mo’s one night and this dude walks in and my buddy was all like “hold up, that’s that ball player”. then i thought he was just being racist or something because it was a tall black man and my buddy wasn’t really into sports or nothing. but turns out it was greg oden posting up with this undercover cop. muncie, man.

  8. Puke

      These snippets are Exhibit “A” in the case of Why Greg Oden Will Never Be An All-Star Center. Dude is too sensitive to make it the NBA. And his knees are just an excuse. Plenty of NBA players have played entire careers with worse knees than Oden’s. Dude’s got no heart. But he has a big dick. Which begs the question: what’s he so depressed about? If I was 6’11 and had a footlong Coney Island tucked inside of my Quicksilvers I would be happy as a clam and schlomozzling every white girl in my eye-line. What a cunt.

  9. Sean

      Puke, where did you get all this penis size info from?

      He’s got to be the most depressed NBA player ever. And oddly sensitive too. It’s unbelievable his agent or other handlers let him even write this blog. Very unusual. Can you imagine Manning or Tiger or Pujols just writing an off the cuff honest blog. No way.

  10. Puke

      Sean, someone hacked his cellphone. On it were pictures he had taken of himself in the mirror, naked. His dick is enormous. If I was him I would be standing next to the craft services table inside of some Chatsworth werehouse, waiting for the go sign that Katie St. Ives was ready to do our scene. Instead, this putz in hanging out in the Castaneda section of Powell’s, wondering what the fuck a Buckeye is.

  11. Schulyer Prinz

      Oden and Ron-Ron should have a reality show.

  12. dan

      i miss that muncie. is this pete, btw?

  13. chet

      remember when we ruled the village? and the village was still the village?

  14. Sean

      Oden was in Muncie?

  15. Donald

      Your cunt makes you look crazy.

      If I were you, I’d use the past subjunctive. Also, clearly, if you were him, you would be him, and would behave as he behaves. Generally, though: really?

      Incidentally: in my own limited experience, guys who are really unusually large (in any sense) are often quite insecure about that fact. Standing out in any way leaves people open to ridicule or abuse, regardless of its potential benefits (little guys make good burglars) and whether or not that ridicule ever becomes more than an unnerving possibility.

  16. dan

      yeah, last time i was in muncie we didn’t even go to the village.

  17. Mike Young

      ha, these are terrific

      “I saw a guy with a Ohio State shirt and I got hype I was like thats amazing someone who loves Ohio State then once i saw 30 more people with the same shirt I was like hold up not all these people like Ohio State, but its ok.”

      is my favorite

  18. Puke

      Now why should what I said make you that ornery? Are you a graduate of Ohio St? Are you a Blazers season ticket holder? You act as if I insulted you. All I’m doing is having a dialogue with the post and trying to have a little fun. In the words of Frank Sinatra: Fuck you, keep walking.

  19. Sean

      I would agree Punk seems perceptive, with a tinge of crazy. The C word still retains power, is what interests me. I hope it’s power never declines. The good ol’ C word.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E_7q4hzWFc

  20. Guest

      Damn. He looks really old for his age.

  21. jd

      This guy’s blogs are so well written. My favorite is the one where he comes home one night after a short basketball practice. he is determined to help his team win this year. He goes on to say,

      “I really do hope I can help them win. The payed (sic) a lot of money for me, and I know that I can get over my chronic knee pains. They just hurt so bad. Yesterday morning I woke up, I thought to myself, ‘OK Greg, you can do this. This is your day!’ But when I turned my giant body around to get out of bed, I heard a giant popping sound. I knew it was my knees.”

  22. Sean

      Sorry, Puke, not Punk. (This seems Freudian, but I don’t think Puke is a Punk)

  23. d

      Where do you access the blog? I can’t find it on the Yardbarker page.

  24. dan

      i think if i had an injury record like oden’s i’d be depressed too. but yeah, this is really great.

  25. dan

      he went to high school at lawrence north

  26. d
  27. chet

      dan, you missed it. we were at mo’s one night and this dude walks in and my buddy was all like “hold up, that’s that ball player”. then i thought he was just being racist or something because it was a tall black man and my buddy wasn’t really into sports or nothing. but turns out it was greg oden posting up with this undercover cop. muncie, man.

  28. Puke

      These snippets are Exhibit “A” in the case of Why Greg Oden Will Never Be An All-Star Center. Dude is too sensitive to make it the NBA. And his knees are just an excuse. Plenty of NBA players have played entire careers with worse knees than Oden’s. Dude’s got no heart. But he has a big dick. Which begs the question: what’s he so depressed about? If I was 6’11 and had a footlong Coney Island tucked inside of my Quicksilvers I would be happy as a clam and schlomozzling every white girl in my eye-line. What a cunt.

  29. Sean

      Puke, where did you get all this penis size info from?

      He’s got to be the most depressed NBA player ever. And oddly sensitive too. It’s unbelievable his agent or other handlers let him even write this blog. Very unusual. Can you imagine Manning or Tiger or Pujols just writing an off the cuff honest blog. No way.

  30. Puke

      Sean, someone hacked his cellphone. On it were pictures he had taken of himself in the mirror, naked. His dick is enormous. If I was him I would be standing next to the craft services table inside of some Chatsworth werehouse, waiting for the go sign that Katie St. Ives was ready to do our scene. Instead, this putz in hanging out in the Castaneda section of Powell’s, wondering what the fuck a Buckeye is.

  31. Kristen Iskandrian

      this is great.

  32. Schulyer Prinz

      Oden and Ron-Ron should have a reality show.

  33. dan

      i miss that muncie. is this pete, btw?

  34. chet

      remember when we ruled the village? and the village was still the village?

  35. Sean

      Oden was in Muncie?

  36. Donald

      Your cunt makes you look crazy.

      If I were you, I’d use the past subjunctive. Also, clearly, if you were him, you would be him, and would behave as he behaves. Generally, though: really?

      Incidentally: in my own limited experience, guys who are really unusually large (in any sense) are often quite insecure about that fact. Standing out in any way leaves people open to ridicule or abuse, regardless of its potential benefits (little guys make good burglars) and whether or not that ridicule ever becomes more than an unnerving possibility.

  37. dan

      yeah, last time i was in muncie we didn’t even go to the village.

  38. Puke

      Now why should what I said make you that ornery? Are you a graduate of Ohio St? Are you a Blazers season ticket holder? You act as if I insulted you. All I’m doing is having a dialogue with the post and trying to have a little fun. In the words of Frank Sinatra: Fuck you, keep walking.

  39. Sean

      I would agree Punk seems perceptive, with a tinge of crazy. The C word still retains power, is what interests me. I hope it’s power never declines. The good ol’ C word.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E_7q4hzWFc

  40. Sean

      Sorry, Puke, not Punk. (This seems Freudian, but I don’t think Puke is a Punk)

  41. Lily

      This made my day. Thank you, Sean. Thank you, Greg.

  42. dan

      he went to high school at lawrence north

  43. Kristen Iskandrian

      this is great.

  44. lily hoang

      This made my day. Thank you, Sean. Thank you, Greg.

  45. Donald

      Is Ohio St a college, or something? I don’t know. I don’t know why holding a season ticket for the Blazers would do it, either. They’re the team he plays for, right? Do sports fans actually do that? Act offended about insults levelled at people who play for ‘their’ team? If so, that’s interesting, and a little odd. I wasn’t, anyway.

      All I’m doing is having a dialogue with the comment and trying to have a little fun.

      The sentence beginning ‘Instead, this putz …’ works well if you imagine it being spoken by a wheezy-voiced man from the Bronx.

      Incidentally, having seen the Curb video Sean posted, I think this could be a cultural misunderstanding. There, the use seems to be synonymous with ‘pussy’. Clearly the literal definition is the same, but I’m talking about colloquialisms and swearwords, before the guffaws begin. Anyway, yeah, it appears to be a couple of steps up in vehemence from just calling someone a ‘big girl’s blouse’ (heh), or, more directly, I suppose, a coward. In England, we use ‘pussy’ in the same sense, but ‘cunt’ is something different–more in the area of ‘bitch’ / ‘bastard’ / ‘wanker’. It’s more of a vague, sweeping statement of negativity regarding someone’s general personality.

      Because of that, it seemed to appear from nowhere in your comment–the level of criticism skyrocketed, as it appeared to me. Hence the crazy.

  46. Donald

      I don’t really get people’s tendency to assume insult and offence behind objection, to be honest. I mean, really, I wasn’t even objecting. It was just a statement. ‘Dialogue’.

  47. ryan

      I really hope he can stay healthy and start carving out a nice pro career. He came from my local area; always had something of a sweet spot for the guy.

  48. j

      i saw greg oden at the castleton square mall food court once, he seemed laid back. hope the dude gets healthy

  49. Donald

      Is Ohio St a college, or something? I don’t know. I don’t know why holding a season ticket for the Blazers would do it, either. They’re the team he plays for, right? Do sports fans actually do that? Act offended about insults levelled at people who play for ‘their’ team? If so, that’s interesting, and a little odd. I wasn’t, anyway.

      All I’m doing is having a dialogue with the comment and trying to have a little fun.

      The sentence beginning ‘Instead, this putz …’ works well if you imagine it being spoken by a wheezy-voiced man from the Bronx.

      Incidentally, having seen the Curb video Sean posted, I think this could be a cultural misunderstanding. There, the use seems to be synonymous with ‘pussy’. Clearly the literal definition is the same, but I’m talking about colloquialisms and swearwords, before the guffaws begin. Anyway, yeah, it appears to be a couple of steps up in vehemence from just calling someone a ‘big girl’s blouse’ (heh), or, more directly, I suppose, a coward. In England, we use ‘pussy’ in the same sense, but ‘cunt’ is something different–more in the area of ‘bitch’ / ‘bastard’ / ‘wanker’. It’s more of a vague, sweeping statement of negativity regarding someone’s general personality.

      Because of that, it seemed to appear from nowhere in your comment–the level of criticism skyrocketed, as it appeared to me. Hence the crazy.

  50. Donald

      I don’t really get people’s tendency to assume insult and offence behind objection, to be honest. I mean, really, I wasn’t even objecting. It was just a statement. ‘Dialogue’.

  51. ryan

      I really hope he can stay healthy and start carving out a nice pro career. He came from my local area; always had something of a sweet spot for the guy.

  52. j

      i saw greg oden at the castleton square mall food court once, he seemed laid back. hope the dude gets healthy

  53. MoGa

      I totally just subscribed.

  54. Molly Gaudry

      I totally just subscribed.