God damn it
Hindu god Vishnu got eight limbs, and so does this toddler who they say is a reincarnated god, though science will tell you the extra four limbs are from a ‘parasitic twin’ (sounds like a relationship). Hindus don’t eat cow cos cows are holy, which is where “holy cow” comes from — Protestants wanting to curse, but not at their own god. Hindus won’t eat beef, Jews won’t eat pork, and I won’t eat pussy; yes, we are all self-absorbed. Christians see Jesus everywhere, mostly on toast. Toast is an example of its verb manifesting its noun. Let me help: bread → toaster → toast. The other kind of toast involves champagne and having to lie about liking someone.
They found Jesus as a dog’s asshole. An asshole is the end of a long tube which begins at one’s mouth. This proves all perverts are dyslexic, because all perverts would rather fuck asses and mouths. Freud will tell you that you want to fuck where you left off in your development — at the anal, oral, or junior high stage. In junior high I suffered from allergies, migraines, and boners. I’m better now, thanks to depression.
The Buddhist logo looks like a swastika but isn’t; the Mercedes Benz logo is a castrated peace sign; a peace sign is a circled broken upside-down cross; an upside-down cross is Satan’s logo; a right-side-up cross is Jesus’s logo. How is Friday good if he died that day? Is Sabbath on Saturday or Sunday? Three million years of evolution, and we still don’t have a calendar. The big bang theory is exactly that: a theory, like that of relativity. Here’s my theory of relatives: my entire family are hypochondriacs who compete and compare respective ailments. Cancer wins.
If the big bang never happened, you, me, and everyone we know wouldn’t know who Miranda July is. That would have been awesome. I’m a hater. Someone recently told me I have narcissistic personality disorder, which includes, according to DSM-IV, “a constant need for attention, affirmation, and praise.” Fuck people, that’s called the internet.
damn
why dont you eat pussy?
I always thought Jimmy Chen was gay.
What about toast as synonym of done?
“Am I going to get in trouble for this?”
“Dude, you’re toast.”
many dudes don’t.
Nothing in this godforsaken world tastes better than pussy. You are missing out Jim Chen. Unless you prefer the taste of dick. In that case, godspeed.
Is there a term for how long it takes ANY internet comment page to turn homophobic?
It’s usually accomplished by the 5th comment.
I wish I was a sociologist sometimes.
This phenom can be readily studied at Youtube.
A video on something like painting a fence or origami or a soccer goal or whatever innocuous nothing, not scroll down, and get ready for, “Fuck you, Fag!!!”
Next will be the racist comments
Then god forbid a woman is in any video/photo/etc…here we go…
that dog’s butt rules
this basically depends on what has been eaten in the last 36 hours or whether she has been busy riding a chocolate bicycle
so you’re saying its because he’s chinese?
Wait, I just scrolled down. The dog thing is epic.
eh i don’t think you can say fag is a homophobic term anymore.
What is fag now?
Besides a cigarette.
kinda felt peeps would focus on pussy, not god
pussy is god.
sean, i don’t watch television but even i have seen the “fag” episode on south park.
watch it. your answer is contained within.
Amen.
at first i thought: i’ve never eaten toast w/ champagne.
Ok, I’ll check that out.
how retarded is that
it is pretty funny.
to me
Pretty sure Jimmy Chen is gay.
which means what marshall?
“[Jimmy Chen] won’t eat pussy.”
a guy who doesn’t go down on a chick is homosexual?
hahaha
how old are you?
Ah. I wasn’t sure what you were getting at.
I was just playing. I thought it would be funny if people mistakenly thought that Jimmy Chen is gay. I wanted to start a “whisper campaign.” (Maybe he is actually gay? I honestly don’t know.)
You are saying that a man who doesn’t do cunnilingus isn’t necessarily gay. I understand this. I agree with this conjecture.
I’m puzzled by the “how old are you” bit. It seems like you are questioning my authority to speak on men and their pussy-eating habits. I assure you that I am very old and hang out with lots of men who don’t eat pussy. This seems like a funny thing to be defensive about.
Do we have beef? This seems funny. Ha.
And many women consider such “dudes” ridiculous.
sigh, why does this always happen? i am not homosexual. i don’t like going down because the air is like Vietnam, really humid and old memories of a failed war. but i am a loyal lover and honor a woman’s interest deeply; i am a sensitive, caring, man.
indeed. great scene in true romance about that…samuel j steps up.
and old memories of a failed war
funniest thing i’ve read on htmlgiant in a long time
the 69 position always looks good but when you’re on bottom you always smell the piss and other funk that women can’t hide. still fine with me but, uh, yeah i get that it’s not for everyone.
incidentally, i guess all the women who refuse to suck dick are gay…
damn
This may be the most memorable htmlgiant comment of all time. I want to see a movie in which a man politely explains to a woman that he won’t go down on her because near her vagina “the air is like Vietnam, really humid and old memories of a failed war.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_relationships_of_Elvis_Presley#The_women_in_his_life
“In an interview, Shepherd reveals that Presley kissed her all over her naked body – but refused to have oral sex with her. His slow tender kisses ended at her bellybutton. Elvis explained to her, ‘Me and the guys talk and, well, white boys don’t eat pussy.'”
What a dinosaur. I bet The Beatles had no problem with it.
I think that dog’s anus has convinced me of Jesus and His righteous path.
It’s a thing to behold.
no beef.
your age was asked because the original comment sounded like something crazy paul madore would say.
so i was curious if you were young and stupid like him.
Dude, you don’t snarf box you don’t give a shit. You want to be a loyal lover and a caring man? Make your woman cum. Do that and the rest of yr faults will be whitewashed.
You’re right on brother because Jesus was an asshole.
i can’t believe you spell it cum and not come; that is stupid.
i can’t believe i’m having this discussion in a public forum.
i can’t believe it’s not butter, you know what i mean.
eh i disagree.
if you are going to eat, it should be out of hunger.
not servitude.
Look how crazy I am!!!! I am CRAZEEE PAUL MADORE!!!!!
hehe — jk jk
popcorn
fresh and hot?
Jimmy–just curious–why do you hate yourself some July?
why dont you eat pussy?
I always thought Jimmy Chen was gay.
What about toast as synonym of done?
“Am I going to get in trouble for this?”
“Dude, you’re toast.”
many dudes don’t.
If ever I get the chance, I am going to beat the shit out of Jereme Dean in front of his pre-teen girlfriend.
hahaha see what i mean?
Yes. I’m going to wash my name out of his mouth, along with at least his two front teeth. We could turn this into a real event, Adam Robinson could organize it, we could raise funds to fly the contenders into Baltimore. Actually, Matt DiGangi would be much better at this, and there are more boxing gyms in Boston. We could film and live broadcast it. After the ten-count, we could run some of Dean’s most vitriolic and nonsensical ramblings scrolling Star Wars style. Then I’ll buy rounds for everyone.
Nothing in this godforsaken world tastes better than pussy. You are missing out Jim Chen. Unless you prefer the taste of dick. In that case, godspeed.
After that, I want Jimmy Chen in the ring. I’ll give him a chance to apologize for making light of the death of one of my friends first, but refusal will certainly result in the evening’s second KO.
smells like muscle soap and dick cheese in here
goes to show what happens when you say ‘pussy’ around the truly socially weird
My father is a sailor / my grandfather’s a trucker / think you could ever whip my ass / you’re one dumb motherfucker.
Is there a term for how long it takes ANY internet comment page to turn homophobic?
It’s usually accomplished by the 5th comment.
I wish I was a sociologist sometimes.
This phenom can be readily studied at Youtube.
A video on something like painting a fence or origami or a soccer goal or whatever innocuous nothing, not scroll down, and get ready for, “Fuck you, Fag!!!”
Next will be the racist comments
Then god forbid a woman is in any video/photo/etc…here we go…
that dog’s butt rules
Blake, remind yourself right quick that I didn’t bring myself into this. I really have no response to the actual meat of this post. I think if you want oral sex then you should be willing to give it, no matter your sex, and that’s all I really think about it. I’m not inane enough to judge other people’s choices, but do find it weird that some girls find that selfish bullshit acceptable.
For those of you just tuning in:
It seems that what has happened here is that Marshall made a comment of great insignificance regarding Jimmy Chen’s sexuality. The aforementioned comment was both thoughtless and inappropriate.
Jereme then attempted to shed light on the crude stupidity present in Marshall’s asinine question. Jereme succeeded in doing so. He then compared the stupidity present in Marshall’s asinine question to the vast stupidity secreted by the drab acronym himself, PHM–Paul (Something with an H) Madore.
Then, PHM, himself, responded to Jereme by threatening to “beat the shit out of” Jereme’s “pre-teen” girlfriend.
this basically depends on what has been eaten in the last 36 hours or whether she has been busy riding a chocolate bicycle
phm, i don’t recall making light of your friend’s death, and am sorry if i did, but i have no idea what you are talking about
Paul, you have an amazing inability to comprehend the written word. You almost never get it right, and it’d be endearing if you weren’t such a prick.
i just wanted to say ‘fuck god’ and not ‘fuck pussy’ with this post. was that too subtle?
so you’re saying its because he’s chinese?
Then Blake Butler said:
“smells like muscle soap and dick cheese in here”
Now, PHM is probably re-reading “smells like muscle soap and dick cheese in here” on his iPad while listening to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22ltlLZkFlE
Jimmy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKjl2ROwmh0
http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/142523.html?print=1
Thanks for apologizing.
Wait, I just scrolled down. The dog thing is epic.
eh i don’t think you can say fag is a homophobic term anymore.
I prefer the spelling “cum” to “come.” I’m not sure why. I always thought it was “more correct,” but I guess it’s just the porny spelling? “Come” still seems weird to me. I dunno.
This thread is weird.
:)
Huh.
:(
I think it’s fairly juvenile to make a statement indicating that Jimmy “made light” of your friend’s passing. It’s pretty obvious he had no idea that your friend passed away. To state something like that seems highly inequitable.
What is fag now?
Besides a cigarette.
kinda felt peeps would focus on pussy, not god
To make a firm statement–“seems” having no place in such–is clearly beyond your abilities as a writer or a servile young bastard.
pussy is god.
sean, i don’t watch television but even i have seen the “fag” episode on south park.
watch it. your answer is contained within.
Wait, you wrote “pussy is god” but you find it gross to put your face near a vagina? Really? Are you being facetious or are you serious? That doesn’t make you gay but I kinda think it makes you uptight/lame/a bad lover.
His attitude is common among neanderthals and wife beaters. The whole “only women give head” thing was the subject of an entire episode of the Sopranos, as I remember.
“Uncle Jun’ gives head?”
“servile young bastard”
PHM, how old are you again? Jesus . . .
Additionally, I feel compelled to ask you a question. Why do you bother frequenting HTML Giant if its contributors have apparently caused you so much emotional trauma? Why do you linger in this forum? Why are you asking Jimmy Chen for (what SEEMS like) an unnecessary apology?
Why do you keep questioning my abilities as a writer?
Anyway, changing the name of your wordpress template from “MADOREABLE” to “MADORE” seems like a good move.
I mean, evidently, Jimmy’s critique of your wordpress template didn’t do too much harm.
Amen.
at first i thought: i’ve never eaten toast w/ champagne.
Ok, I’ll check that out.
how retarded is that
Paul, are you aware how much better you can tear someone apart when you research them? I’m just saying. When I took down my blog, I simply forwarded the URL to my homepage, which has stood exactly as it now stands for like a year or something.
You’re nothing of a writer, nor a man. From my experience, your primary goal is to work your way into some imaginary clique where everybody gets a major or minor publishing contract. Rather than earn your way, you, like others, prefer to use your connections to get what you desire out of life. You prefer friendship over respect, servitude over reciprocation, ass-kissing over honesty. I could go on. These observations are made based on what I know of you, because I took five minutes (or more, let’s be honest) to figure out who you are. If you believe for even thirty seconds that I have not seen your kind come and go, you are sorely mistaken.
To my knowledge, this is the first I have questioned your ability as a writer. I invite you to prove that I have done so before. Your ill-informed attitude is evidence of how strongly culture and desire for undeserved success has cured you of your natural curiosity.
it is pretty funny.
to me
I mean, assuming that you were not a writer (which you obviously are–everyone has navigated your spiffy Scribd-driven CV, I’m sure) one could see how a guy with a last name like Madore maintaining a website titled MADOREABLE could be using such a website to showcase anything but “literary works.”
MADOREABLE, in an alternate context, could be the title of a merchandising website praised for its low priced knitted socks or imitation beanie babies.
Again, “MADORE” seems like a good move.
Fuck Elvis.
Pretty sure Jimmy Chen is gay.
Tracy X came up with that nickname early last year. She can be found at http://www.notimetosayit.com
When you’re given a book filled with blank pages, it’s difficult to do research.
“You’re nothing of a writer, nor a man.”
Dude, if I ever write a bestseller (god forbid) and I need a blurb, I’m totes putting that on the back of the book.
“PAUL CUNNINGHAM IS NOTHING OF A WRITER, NOR A MAN.”
That’s good shit.
Also, I’m unaware of this “clique” you speak of. Please enlighten me. Please also distinguish which asses I’ve kissed.
Seen “my kind” . . . “come and go”
Again, PHM, how old are you? Jesus . . .
“come and go” . . .
Maybe everyone could state their ages just so everyone knows.
“Maybe Everyone Could State Their Ages Just So Everyone Knows” by Miranda July
which means what marshall?
“[Jimmy Chen] won’t eat pussy.”
a guy who doesn’t go down on a chick is homosexual?
hahaha
how old are you?
Ah. I wasn’t sure what you were getting at.
I was just playing. I thought it would be funny if people mistakenly thought that Jimmy Chen is gay. I wanted to start a “whisper campaign.” (Maybe he is actually gay? I honestly don’t know.)
You are saying that a man who doesn’t do cunnilingus isn’t necessarily gay. I understand this. I agree with this conjecture.
I’m puzzled by the “how old are you” bit. It seems like you are questioning my authority to speak on men and their pussy-eating habits. I assure you that I am very old and hang out with lots of men who don’t eat pussy. This seems like a funny thing to be defensive about.
Do we have beef? This seems funny. Ha.
And many women consider such “dudes” ridiculous.
sigh, why does this always happen? i am not homosexual. i don’t like going down because the air is like Vietnam, really humid and old memories of a failed war. but i am a loyal lover and honor a woman’s interest deeply; i am a sensitive, caring, man.
indeed. great scene in true romance about that…samuel j steps up.
and old memories of a failed war
funniest thing i’ve read on htmlgiant in a long time
the 69 position always looks good but when you’re on bottom you always smell the piss and other funk that women can’t hide. still fine with me but, uh, yeah i get that it’s not for everyone.
incidentally, i guess all the women who refuse to suck dick are gay…
This may be the most memorable htmlgiant comment of all time. I want to see a movie in which a man politely explains to a woman that he won’t go down on her because near her vagina “the air is like Vietnam, really humid and old memories of a failed war.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_relationships_of_Elvis_Presley#The_women_in_his_life
“In an interview, Shepherd reveals that Presley kissed her all over her naked body – but refused to have oral sex with her. His slow tender kisses ended at her bellybutton. Elvis explained to her, ‘Me and the guys talk and, well, white boys don’t eat pussy.'”
What a dinosaur. I bet The Beatles had no problem with it.
I think that dog’s anus has convinced me of Jesus and His righteous path.
It’s a thing to behold.
no beef.
your age was asked because the original comment sounded like something crazy paul madore would say.
so i was curious if you were young and stupid like him.
Dude, you don’t snarf box you don’t give a shit. You want to be a loyal lover and a caring man? Make your woman cum. Do that and the rest of yr faults will be whitewashed.
You’re right on brother because Jesus was an asshole.
i can’t believe you spell it cum and not come; that is stupid.
i can’t believe i’m having this discussion in a public forum.
i can’t believe it’s not butter, you know what i mean.
eh i disagree.
if you are going to eat, it should be out of hunger.
not servitude.
Look how crazy I am!!!! I am CRAZEEE PAUL MADORE!!!!!
hehe — jk jk
popcorn
fresh and hot?
Jimmy–just curious–why do you hate yourself some July?
If ever I get the chance, I am going to beat the shit out of Jereme Dean in front of his pre-teen girlfriend.
hahaha see what i mean?
Yes. I’m going to wash my name out of his mouth, along with at least his two front teeth. We could turn this into a real event, Adam Robinson could organize it, we could raise funds to fly the contenders into Baltimore. Actually, Matt DiGangi would be much better at this, and there are more boxing gyms in Boston. We could film and live broadcast it. After the ten-count, we could run some of Dean’s most vitriolic and nonsensical ramblings scrolling Star Wars style. Then I’ll buy rounds for everyone.
After that, I want Jimmy Chen in the ring. I’ll give him a chance to apologize for making light of the death of one of my friends first, but refusal will certainly result in the evening’s second KO.
smells like muscle soap and dick cheese in here
goes to show what happens when you say ‘pussy’ around the truly socially weird
My father is a sailor / my grandfather’s a trucker / think you could ever whip my ass / you’re one dumb motherfucker.
Blake, remind yourself right quick that I didn’t bring myself into this. I really have no response to the actual meat of this post. I think if you want oral sex then you should be willing to give it, no matter your sex, and that’s all I really think about it. I’m not inane enough to judge other people’s choices, but do find it weird that some girls find that selfish bullshit acceptable.
For those of you just tuning in:
It seems that what has happened here is that Marshall made a comment of great insignificance regarding Jimmy Chen’s sexuality. The aforementioned comment was both thoughtless and inappropriate.
Jereme then attempted to shed light on the crude stupidity present in Marshall’s asinine question. Jereme succeeded in doing so. He then compared the stupidity present in Marshall’s asinine question to the vast stupidity secreted by the drab acronym himself, PHM–Paul (Something with an H) Madore.
Then, PHM, himself, responded to Jereme by threatening to “beat the shit out of” Jereme’s “pre-teen” girlfriend.
phm, i don’t recall making light of your friend’s death, and am sorry if i did, but i have no idea what you are talking about
Paul, you have an amazing inability to comprehend the written word. You almost never get it right, and it’d be endearing if you weren’t such a prick.
i just wanted to say ‘fuck god’ and not ‘fuck pussy’ with this post. was that too subtle?
Then Blake Butler said:
“smells like muscle soap and dick cheese in here”
Now, PHM is probably re-reading “smells like muscle soap and dick cheese in here” on his iPad while listening to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22ltlLZkFlE
Jimmy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKjl2ROwmh0
http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/142523.html?print=1
Thanks for apologizing.
I prefer the spelling “cum” to “come.” I’m not sure why. I always thought it was “more correct,” but I guess it’s just the porny spelling? “Come” still seems weird to me. I dunno.
This thread is weird.
:)
Huh.
:(
I think it’s fairly juvenile to make a statement indicating that Jimmy “made light” of your friend’s passing. It’s pretty obvious he had no idea that your friend passed away. To state something like that seems highly inequitable.
Pretty sure PHM is like 21. But he’s, like, just sooo wise for his age, you know?
To make a firm statement–“seems” having no place in such–is clearly beyond your abilities as a writer or a servile young bastard.
Wait, you wrote “pussy is god” but you find it gross to put your face near a vagina? Really? Are you being facetious or are you serious? That doesn’t make you gay but I kinda think it makes you uptight/lame/a bad lover.
His attitude is common among neanderthals and wife beaters. The whole “only women give head” thing was the subject of an entire episode of the Sopranos, as I remember.
“Uncle Jun’ gives head?”
“servile young bastard”
PHM, how old are you again? Jesus . . .
Additionally, I feel compelled to ask you a question. Why do you bother frequenting HTML Giant if its contributors have apparently caused you so much emotional trauma? Why do you linger in this forum? Why are you asking Jimmy Chen for (what SEEMS like) an unnecessary apology?
Why do you keep questioning my abilities as a writer?
Anyway, changing the name of your wordpress template from “MADOREABLE” to “MADORE” seems like a good move.
I mean, evidently, Jimmy’s critique of your wordpress template didn’t do too much harm.
Paul, are you aware how much better you can tear someone apart when you research them? I’m just saying. When I took down my blog, I simply forwarded the URL to my homepage, which has stood exactly as it now stands for like a year or something.
You’re nothing of a writer, nor a man. From my experience, your primary goal is to work your way into some imaginary clique where everybody gets a major or minor publishing contract. Rather than earn your way, you, like others, prefer to use your connections to get what you desire out of life. You prefer friendship over respect, servitude over reciprocation, ass-kissing over honesty. I could go on. These observations are made based on what I know of you, because I took five minutes (or more, let’s be honest) to figure out who you are. If you believe for even thirty seconds that I have not seen your kind come and go, you are sorely mistaken.
To my knowledge, this is the first I have questioned your ability as a writer. I invite you to prove that I have done so before. Your ill-informed attitude is evidence of how strongly culture and desire for undeserved success has cured you of your natural curiosity.
I mean, assuming that you were not a writer (which you obviously are–everyone has navigated your spiffy Scribd-driven CV, I’m sure) one could see how a guy with a last name like Madore maintaining a website titled MADOREABLE could be using such a website to showcase anything but “literary works.”
MADOREABLE, in an alternate context, could be the title of a merchandising website praised for its low priced knitted socks or imitation beanie babies.
Again, “MADORE” seems like a good move.
Fuck Elvis.
Tracy X came up with that nickname early last year. She can be found at http://www.notimetosayit.com
When you’re given a book filled with blank pages, it’s difficult to do research.
“You’re nothing of a writer, nor a man.”
Dude, if I ever write a bestseller (god forbid) and I need a blurb, I’m totes putting that on the back of the book.
“PAUL CUNNINGHAM IS NOTHING OF A WRITER, NOR A MAN.”
That’s good shit.
Also, I’m unaware of this “clique” you speak of. Please enlighten me. Please also distinguish which asses I’ve kissed.
Seen “my kind” . . . “come and go”
Again, PHM, how old are you? Jesus . . .
“come and go” . . .
Maybe everyone could state their ages just so everyone knows.
“Maybe Everyone Could State Their Ages Just So Everyone Knows” by Miranda July
Pretty sure PHM is like 21. But he’s, like, just sooo wise for his age, you know?
Paul Madore is running for the State Senate again this spring. He nearly defeated a powerful Democrat a couple years ago gaining 45 percent of the vote. Paul is a registered Democrat with a socially conservative pro family heart.
I have learned more from Paul Madore in the nearly two decades that I have known him than I learned getting a college degree. God works that way in my life. He teaches me through relationships. The one that I have with Paul has been a most rewarding one.
Paul is tough. He works hard. He demands a lot of others, but never more than he is willing to give himself. Paul is what we used to call a man’s man. What you see is what you get, especially on religious and social issues.
Paul loves the Jesus Christ of his Roman Catholic faith more than life itself. He loves the life in others more than his own. He loves life so much that no amount of political shilly shallying over when life begins or ends is going to divert him from his path. His convictions on mankind’s duty to protect and preserve innocent human life is unshakeable and unstoppable. Paul Madore is a walking, talking, fighting inspiration. No man stays the same after working with Paul.
I would dearly love to see him in the Maine Senate. What an experience that would be for all of us. Maine will be the better for it.
The press won’t like it because they gave up covering the news about sexual morality decades ago and became just another shrill mouthpiece for the devil. Sadly, there is nothing easier for the press in our vapid culture than making a thin caricature out of a thick, red-blooded, burly, straight-talking, pro life and pro family French pepe to over 12 beautiful grandchildren.
Maine people know better than to trust the press anymore. They know that Paul Madore is the real deal. Paul Madore’s ideals are American ideals. He comes from solid French immigrant stock. His family settled in Lewiston a long time ago. Over the past century they helped create a tightly-knit, religiously-loyal community chisled from the granite outcroppings of the Androscoggin river.
I couldn’t be more eager to offer my unqualified personal endorsement for Paul’s candidacy for the Maine Senate this year.
Paul Madore is running for the State Senate again this spring. He nearly defeated a powerful Democrat a couple years ago gaining 45 percent of the vote. Paul is a registered Democrat with a socially conservative pro family heart.
I have learned more from Paul Madore in the nearly two decades that I have known him than I learned getting a college degree. God works that way in my life. He teaches me through relationships. The one that I have with Paul has been a most rewarding one.
Paul is tough. He works hard. He demands a lot of others, but never more than he is willing to give himself. Paul is what we used to call a man’s man. What you see is what you get, especially on religious and social issues.
Paul loves the Jesus Christ of his Roman Catholic faith more than life itself. He loves the life in others more than his own. He loves life so much that no amount of political shilly shallying over when life begins or ends is going to divert him from his path. His convictions on mankind’s duty to protect and preserve innocent human life is unshakeable and unstoppable. Paul Madore is a walking, talking, fighting inspiration. No man stays the same after working with Paul.
I would dearly love to see him in the Maine Senate. What an experience that would be for all of us. Maine will be the better for it.
The press won’t like it because they gave up covering the news about sexual morality decades ago and became just another shrill mouthpiece for the devil. Sadly, there is nothing easier for the press in our vapid culture than making a thin caricature out of a thick, red-blooded, burly, straight-talking, pro life and pro family French pepe to over 12 beautiful grandchildren.
Maine people know better than to trust the press anymore. They know that Paul Madore is the real deal. Paul Madore’s ideals are American ideals. He comes from solid French immigrant stock. His family settled in Lewiston a long time ago. Over the past century they helped create a tightly-knit, religiously-loyal community chisled from the granite outcroppings of the Androscoggin river.
I couldn’t be more eager to offer my unqualified personal endorsement for Paul’s candidacy for the Maine Senate this year.
Now we all know why I use my initials. I asked that homophobe to change his name years ago. He refused.
I’m sure you asked him–you silly acronym, you!
Paul, does Bri use tongue with you?
Re “Paul” (not PHM), I definitely get the sense anyone so self righteous and bitter must have been on the wrong end of a bukkake.
indeed, on both counts. i could see it in an “in bruges” type movie.
oh shit! that uncle jun’ episode was amazing, especially when he “punished” the woman who told on him.
Now we all know why I use my initials. I asked that homophobe to change his name years ago. He refused.
who is samuel peter north?
who cares?
re: bukkake
i have a feeling that watching a bukkake is the only joy/thrill a despondent and astonishingly patriarchal “person” such as yourself will ever know in life
also, keep in mind there are those who actually don’t consider bukkake a joy/thrill
some (like myself) would consider either end of a bukkake the wrong end
Wow, now there’s a mature attempt at a quip. Reminds me of the mature, masculine voice that’s so stirringly alive in your poems. Poems like “Ass-Face,” which you’re apparently quite embarrassed of since you’ve (very) recently made such poems viewable to only members of Fictionaut. Gee, Samuel. Gee. I feel bad (sort of) that you feel insecure re: your own work.
Do you have a WritersCafe Account as well? I’m sure one garbage-online-literary-community isn’t enough room for someone as memorable as Samuel Peter North.
I’m sure you asked him–you silly acronym, you!
Paul, does Bri use tongue with you?
Re “Paul” (not PHM), I definitely get the sense anyone so self righteous and bitter must have been on the wrong end of a bukkake.
indeed, on both counts. i could see it in an “in bruges” type movie.
oh shit! that uncle jun’ episode was amazing, especially when he “punished” the woman who told on him.
who is samuel peter north?
who cares?
re: bukkake
i have a feeling that watching a bukkake is the only joy/thrill a despondent and astonishingly patriarchal “person” such as yourself will ever know in life
also, keep in mind there are those who actually don’t consider bukkake a joy/thrill
some (like myself) would consider either end of a bukkake the wrong end
Wow, now there’s a mature attempt at a quip. Reminds me of the mature, masculine voice that’s so stirringly alive in your poems. Poems like “Ass-Face,” which you’re apparently quite embarrassed of since you’ve (very) recently made such poems viewable to only members of Fictionaut. Gee, Samuel. Gee. I feel bad (sort of) that you feel insecure re: your own work.
Do you have a WritersCafe Account as well? I’m sure one garbage-online-literary-community isn’t enough room for someone as memorable as Samuel Peter North.
paul, who is spn??? who cares? sniff. i care.
It’s really mean around here. Weird.
paul, i do hope “Bri” is sweet to you at night when you scream at the world. You are such a sad little boy.
Paul, I want to go to war against you and Bri. War SPM against Bri and his bitch boy Pauly.
paul, who is spn??? who cares? sniff. i care.
that’s because this new guy paul is the biggest cunt to show up in years. gila monster? what a fucking faggot.
no.
jimmy this was another really solid post and i am glad i read it.
It’s really mean around here. Weird.
Jesus, Pollock…you’ve cracked it wiiiiiide open.
paul, i do hope “Bri” is sweet to you at night when you scream at the world. You are such a sad little boy.
Paul, I want to go to war against you and Bri. War SPM against Bri and his bitch boy Pauly.
that’s because this new guy paul is the biggest cunt to show up in years. gila monster? what a fucking faggot.
no.
jimmy this was another really solid post and i am glad i read it.
Jesus, Pollock…you’ve cracked it wiiiiiide open.
Samuel, you seem like a schmuck but i do have to agree Paul appears to have some major challenges in life. I also know that one time my friends and I spooged on his face and he kept saying “more, more” … or at least that’s what it sounded like. His tongue is long and wet. We named him Gila Monster on the spot.
i came in here looking for jimmy chen and am leaving a lot of things
Who says “faggot” these days? Really, now?
Sam, take your chauvinism (which is indicated by your mere internet presence) as well as your homophobic insights elsewhere. This was an excellent post by Jimmy Chen and it has been ruined by a thread full of petty accusations, humorless jokes, and homophobia. Pretty sure Sean indicated such things earlier in this thread. Wish more people were like him. He’s a great guy.
I don’t know who John Holmes is. I don’t know what “major challenges” John Holmes is referring to. John Holmes is probably just an alter-ego of Samuel Peter North. Samuel Peter North is probably just an alter-ego of Paul Something Madore.
I did. At the time, he had a home-page, on the front page of which was a picture of him holding a sign which read “God Hates Fags.” I sent this message:
From public
In case, for some reason, that doesn’t display:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/_B086XUjUUm6ykr_tutH2w?feat=directlink
Now that’s an unreasonable accusation, Paul Edward Cunningham. Surely Gene or Blake Butler or someone can tell you that I do not share an IP address (or, likely, even an IP range) with Samuel Peter North (a reference to the porn star, I assume) or John Holmes (another reference to another porn star, I again assume).
Samuel, you seem like a schmuck but i do have to agree Paul appears to have some major challenges in life. I also know that one time my friends and I spooged on his face and he kept saying “more, more” … or at least that’s what it sounded like. His tongue is long and wet. We named him Gila Monster on the spot.
So, thanks for calling me a liar, and thanks for being off the mark, as always. I’m sure you’ll get a small-time book deal out of all this, or something, so don’t worry too much about being wrong all the time.
Well, sorry. Yes, surely Blake or Gene could share with me such information, but I’m really not that interested in receiving such information.
Really the only “problem” I can sense here is that Samuel Peter North is attacking me because he thinks you’re cool (or something like that), thereby linking him as a “fan” of yours, which mustn’t be too flattering for you since Samuel appears to be a sexist / homophobic / insecure / shriveled dork (blue whale’s penis).
What kind of “fans” are you attracting?
it must be the heat, the prickly heat of Rusty Godowsky
I think that says everything we need to know about you. That you believe attacks leveled at you would be the result of someone’s feelings toward me fully illustrates your worldview. Just as the biggest liar believes the biggest lies, you think the only reason someone might take issue with you is if you attack someone they happen to like. In short, you are spineless and so believe that spinelessness is normal. This is the kind of thing which can take years to work through, so perhaps you should get started.
ditto.
i came in here looking for jimmy chen and am leaving a lot of things
Paul, “you have an amazing inability to comprehend the written word.”
Also:
? “I think that says everything we need to know about you.” ?
If you have the time, please explain the use of the word, “we”–I’m pretty sure one’s reaction to you saying “we” is similar to one’s reaction to Carrot Top saying, “we.”
Paul Edward,
You are humiliating yourself on here. Who in the hell has never heard of John Holmes? Why don’t you spend a few minutes Googling the legend instead of reveling in your ignorance? You can continually Google Samuel Peter North’s stories on Fictionaut (gasp! they’re now private! oh wait they’re public! oh snap, they are private!) but you don’t have the sense to Google Jonathan Holmes???? He’s Larry’s brother from another mother and Priest’s, too). You really are a fucking faggot.
And we all know the major challenges that “Mr.” North refers to. They’re coating your posts like I’ve coated the innards of your broad nostrils contained in that cute, flat nose of yours.
“Well, sorry.”
You’re god damn right, you are sorry, motherfucker. Although you get props for the “(blue whale’s penis).” You go, girl!
“It is an early life for the catcher in the comic rye”
OMG! You are SUCH a talented, brilliant, sardonic writer! What an homage!!!!! Mazel tov!
Oh, hey, Samuel.
Sorry that you are still insecure about your lack of literary know-how (i.e. Ass-Face).
Sorry I wasn’t familiar with some old porno actor that no one cares about.
Thanks for calling me a “faggot” again.
Can I just say that I am so humiliated?
I am so humiliated.
Sometimes he whispers when no one else is around, “I am animal.”
P Edward Cunningham, you are one precious writer. Glorious, too. I wish I could get write some words like you, man. Bye, cunty.
Oh, hey, Samuel.
I’m sorry Reynard Seifert liked my poem.
Oh, Paulie, when you take Sean’s nuts off your chin, make sure to scrub your face. Dude runs a lot.
Oh, hey, Samuel.
You can get / write some words like me. Just send me a signed blank check. I’ll see what I can do.
Jesus, what is going on around this place? I have to head over to the gila monster laundromat and read me some FINE fiction. Dude leaves it out there…brings the heat and leaves you questioning everything you THOUGHT you knew. Yeah, sure, he’s a bit of a loser on here…but his fiction IS insane!
I heard him read at the Lincoln Park Literary and Visual Arts Festival. Dude had people CRYING. His work snaked into (AND THROUGH!) their jaded hearts and left them CHANGED. I’m lucky enough to have graduated “with” Mr. Cunningham (a year later, unfortunately…didn’t walk that stage until recently…go charter schools!). Mr. C., will you come back next year to read your prize-winning poetry? You autographed my ass with your cum, and I still haven’t washed!
Paul, man, please don’t bring me into this. Did you get my message? You need to calm down.
boy, wow, this ass face story of mine really haunts/tantalizes you. Why the fuck are you bringing me into this shit? I’m going to find you sometime and coach you a bit on the art of the long view.
Reynard this shit is kind of funny. Let him go!
“Ache was whispering and her bad posture was offending a man disguised as a gentleman. The Gentleman was drinking fine wine and The Gentleman was rubbing himself hard.”
And you’re ripping on MY writing? Christ, you are a joke. Drinking “fine wine” and “rubbing himself hard”? You claim to have some sort of “literary know how”? Your fiction is just like your posting on here…unoriginal, sad, humiliating, and childish. You do need someone to coach you, charter school boy.
also, PROPS for “gentleman” and than “The Gentleman” – great use of caps to set your readers up for a grand ride.
“The Gentleman walks into a building and stands beneath a segment of sunlight. He pounds against a breast-shaped window.”
OOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love the action verb here – pounds! Such power in your work, Mr. C. Why don’t you have the Gentleman screaming at the Gods or clutching at his heart about all of life’s brutalities?
Can you PLEASE have another Carrot Top reference in today’s responses?
Is this real deal high school drama? Aw shit son.
Paul, that blank check would be the first and last one you’ll get from your writing. I hope to Christ you have a real career you can fall back on. Or are you living in your mom and dad’s basement and assuring yourself you and Bri have to make sacrifices and compromises to support your artistic lives? I hope you’re working at the return counter of TJ Maxx and getting yelled at in the morning by overweight soccer moms.
Another one bites the dust. Another one bites the dust.
I’m laughing my crazy ass off right now. Seriously.
don’t lump me in with Sam North. I just wanted to comment on your shit-ass writing, Richie Cunningham. Oh, hey, your dad ever coach the Sixers?
Midland, Pa? I spent a month there one night.
Me, too, man. Shit. I’ve been at the beach all day, am sunburned as hell, and checked here to see what’s up. This Paul Cunningham guy sounds like a piece of work. I can just see him refusing to sleep, terrified about what is coming (cumming?) next.
I just really prefer to be insulted by cats who are smarter than me, because often I can learn from it.
Like, learn to better insult and sometimes learn about myself.
indeed, on both counts. I would just add that we can all learn a lot from Mr. Cunningham. If he’s not the “but for the Grace of God go I” poster child around here, who is?
Who says “faggot” these days? Really, now?
Sam, take your chauvinism (which is indicated by your mere internet presence) as well as your homophobic insights elsewhere. This was an excellent post by Jimmy Chen and it has been ruined by a thread full of petty accusations, humorless jokes, and homophobia. Pretty sure Sean indicated such things earlier in this thread. Wish more people were like him. He’s a great guy.
I don’t know who John Holmes is. I don’t know what “major challenges” John Holmes is referring to. John Holmes is probably just an alter-ego of Samuel Peter North. Samuel Peter North is probably just an alter-ego of Paul Something Madore.
I did. At the time, he had a home-page, on the front page of which was a picture of him holding a sign which read “God Hates Fags.” I sent this message:
From public
In case, for some reason, that doesn’t display:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/_B086XUjUUm6ykr_tutH2w?feat=directlink
Now that’s an unreasonable accusation, Paul Edward Cunningham. Surely Gene or Blake Butler or someone can tell you that I do not share an IP address (or, likely, even an IP range) with Samuel Peter North (a reference to the porn star, I assume) or John Holmes (another reference to another porn star, I again assume).
So, thanks for calling me a liar, and thanks for being off the mark, as always. I’m sure you’ll get a small-time book deal out of all this, or something, so don’t worry too much about being wrong all the time.
Well, sorry. Yes, surely Blake or Gene could share with me such information, but I’m really not that interested in receiving such information.
Really the only “problem” I can sense here is that Samuel Peter North is attacking me because he thinks you’re cool (or something like that), thereby linking him as a “fan” of yours, which mustn’t be too flattering for you since Samuel appears to be a sexist / homophobic / insecure / shriveled dork (blue whale’s penis).
What kind of “fans” are you attracting?
it must be the heat, the prickly heat of Rusty Godowsky
I think that says everything we need to know about you. That you believe attacks leveled at you would be the result of someone’s feelings toward me fully illustrates your worldview. Just as the biggest liar believes the biggest lies, you think the only reason someone might take issue with you is if you attack someone they happen to like. In short, you are spineless and so believe that spinelessness is normal. This is the kind of thing which can take years to work through, so perhaps you should get started.
ditto.
Paul, “you have an amazing inability to comprehend the written word.”
Also:
? “I think that says everything we need to know about you.” ?
If you have the time, please explain the use of the word, “we”–I’m pretty sure one’s reaction to you saying “we” is similar to one’s reaction to Carrot Top saying, “we.”
What the fuck?
Paul Edward,
You are humiliating yourself on here. Who in the hell has never heard of John Holmes? Why don’t you spend a few minutes Googling the legend instead of reveling in your ignorance? You can continually Google Samuel Peter North’s stories on Fictionaut (gasp! they’re now private! oh wait they’re public! oh snap, they are private!) but you don’t have the sense to Google Jonathan Holmes???? He’s Larry’s brother from another mother and Priest’s, too). You really are a fucking faggot.
And we all know the major challenges that “Mr.” North refers to. They’re coating your posts like I’ve coated the innards of your broad nostrils contained in that cute, flat nose of yours.
“Well, sorry.”
You’re god damn right, you are sorry, motherfucker. Although you get props for the “(blue whale’s penis).” You go, girl!
“It is an early life for the catcher in the comic rye”
OMG! You are SUCH a talented, brilliant, sardonic writer! What an homage!!!!! Mazel tov!
Oh, hey, Samuel.
Sorry that you are still insecure about your lack of literary know-how (i.e. Ass-Face).
Sorry I wasn’t familiar with some old porno actor that no one cares about.
Thanks for calling me a “faggot” again.
Can I just say that I am so humiliated?
I am so humiliated.
Sometimes he whispers when no one else is around, “I am animal.”
P Edward Cunningham, you are one precious writer. Glorious, too. I wish I could get write some words like you, man. Bye, cunty.
Oh, hey, Samuel.
I’m sorry Reynard Seifert liked my poem.
Oh, Paulie, when you take Sean’s nuts off your chin, make sure to scrub your face. Dude runs a lot.
Oh, hey, Samuel.
You can get / write some words like me. Just send me a signed blank check. I’ll see what I can do.
Jesus, what is going on around this place? I have to head over to the gila monster laundromat and read me some FINE fiction. Dude leaves it out there…brings the heat and leaves you questioning everything you THOUGHT you knew. Yeah, sure, he’s a bit of a loser on here…but his fiction IS insane!
I heard him read at the Lincoln Park Literary and Visual Arts Festival. Dude had people CRYING. His work snaked into (AND THROUGH!) their jaded hearts and left them CHANGED. I’m lucky enough to have graduated “with” Mr. Cunningham (a year later, unfortunately…didn’t walk that stage until recently…go charter schools!). Mr. C., will you come back next year to read your prize-winning poetry? You autographed my ass with your cum, and I still haven’t washed!
Paul, man, please don’t bring me into this. Did you get my message? You need to calm down.
boy, wow, this ass face story of mine really haunts/tantalizes you. Why the fuck are you bringing me into this shit? I’m going to find you sometime and coach you a bit on the art of the long view.
Reynard this shit is kind of funny. Let him go!
“Ache was whispering and her bad posture was offending a man disguised as a gentleman. The Gentleman was drinking fine wine and The Gentleman was rubbing himself hard.”
And you’re ripping on MY writing? Christ, you are a joke. Drinking “fine wine” and “rubbing himself hard”? You claim to have some sort of “literary know how”? Your fiction is just like your posting on here…unoriginal, sad, humiliating, and childish. You do need someone to coach you, charter school boy.
also, PROPS for “gentleman” and than “The Gentleman” – great use of caps to set your readers up for a grand ride.
“The Gentleman walks into a building and stands beneath a segment of sunlight. He pounds against a breast-shaped window.”
OOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love the action verb here – pounds! Such power in your work, Mr. C. Why don’t you have the Gentleman screaming at the Gods or clutching at his heart about all of life’s brutalities?
Can you PLEASE have another Carrot Top reference in today’s responses?
Is this real deal high school drama? Aw shit son.
Paul, that blank check would be the first and last one you’ll get from your writing. I hope to Christ you have a real career you can fall back on. Or are you living in your mom and dad’s basement and assuring yourself you and Bri have to make sacrifices and compromises to support your artistic lives? I hope you’re working at the return counter of TJ Maxx and getting yelled at in the morning by overweight soccer moms.
fuck the What?, is more like it…
Another one bites the dust. Another one bites the dust.
I’m laughing my crazy ass off right now. Seriously.
don’t lump me in with Sam North. I just wanted to comment on your shit-ass writing, Richie Cunningham. Oh, hey, your dad ever coach the Sixers?
Midland, Pa? I spent a month there one night.
Me, too, man. Shit. I’ve been at the beach all day, am sunburned as hell, and checked here to see what’s up. This Paul Cunningham guy sounds like a piece of work. I can just see him refusing to sleep, terrified about what is coming (cumming?) next.
I just really prefer to be insulted by cats who are smarter than me, because often I can learn from it.
Like, learn to better insult and sometimes learn about myself.
indeed, on both counts. I would just add that we can all learn a lot from Mr. Cunningham. If he’s not the “but for the Grace of God go I” poster child around here, who is?
John Holmes is also the current United Nations Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs and Emergency Relief Coordinator. I chilled with him last week, nice dude.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEPsUO8aUAI
You should get a titled position curating random and esoteric online videos, Ryan. You’re good at it.
I’m considering unpublishing Paul’s poem. It’s that bad around here. Paul, PLEASE respond to my message.
everything is bad in here
What the fuck?
John Holmes is also the current United Nations Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs and Emergency Relief Coordinator. I chilled with him last week, nice dude.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEPsUO8aUAI
You should get a titled position curating random and esoteric online videos, Ryan. You’re good at it.
[…] brings this up is a recent tit-for-tat between myself, P. Edward Cunningham, Jereme Dean, Jimmy Chen, Blake Butler, and various anonymous […]
http://trickwithaknife.com/?p=730
I’m considering unpublishing Paul’s poem. It’s that bad around here. Paul, PLEASE respond to my message.
everything is bad in here
http://trickwithaknife.com/?p=730
holy shit you guys are weird
just for posterity’s sake, because i can’t even tell if phm is going to approve my comment at his blog, i didn’t post the two previous comments in this thread
i’m gonna go buy some fancy milk now
You people are AWFUL! Paul has been at my condo all day, upset BEYOND WORDS. He can’t even muster the will to get online to respond any further. Way to go, SPM and PHM.
And Reynard, FOR SHAME! Your cut was the deepest one of all. Et tu, Brute?
Offer him a cool glass of shut the fuck up. Then tell him to grow up. Failing that, I recommend gin for a nice, creeping drunk. All should be well by morning.
Why wouldn’t I approve it?
Anyways, your other personality’s activities were just the catalyst for the post, dawg. I’d have eventually written that post anyways. You or someone claiming to be you gave me the real situation in which to ask the question, but I’d have asked it with or without you.
What the fuck does weird mean?
NO PHM PAUL IS IN MY APARTMENT AND WE’RE PLAYING SNAKES AND LADDERS (PAUL’S WINNING, BUT HE’S WITHIN THREE SQUARES OF A CATASTROPHIC LADDER) CAN’T YOU SEE THAT MICHAEL IS AN IMPOSTER?
holy shit you guys are weird
just for posterity’s sake, because i can’t even tell if phm is going to approve my comment at his blog, i didn’t post the two previous comments in this thread
i’m gonna go buy some fancy milk now
you didn’t approve my first comment, which included the link to paul’s poem and something like
haha i’m going to build a fucking spaceship!
so now you’re basically committing libel.
also, i think you may be losing your mind.
I never got that one. Next time if you choose a login option such as openid or whatever, no approval will be necessary. I tend to think you’re making shit up right now.
Neverminf. Found it. WordPress thought it was spam. Probably because of the link. It should let all future comments from younthru since I approved the first one. Sorry about that. We don’t much like anonymous trolls is all.
You people are AWFUL! Paul has been at my condo all day, upset BEYOND WORDS. He can’t even muster the will to get online to respond any further. Way to go, SPM and PHM.
And Reynard, FOR SHAME! Your cut was the deepest one of all. Et tu, Brute?
Offer him a cool glass of shut the fuck up. Then tell him to grow up. Failing that, I recommend gin for a nice, creeping drunk. All should be well by morning.
Why wouldn’t I approve it?
Anyways, your other personality’s activities were just the catalyst for the post, dawg. I’d have eventually written that post anyways. You or someone claiming to be you gave me the real situation in which to ask the question, but I’d have asked it with or without you.
What the fuck does weird mean?
NO PHM PAUL IS IN MY APARTMENT AND WE’RE PLAYING SNAKES AND LADDERS (PAUL’S WINNING, BUT HE’S WITHIN THREE SQUARES OF A CATASTROPHIC LADDER) CAN’T YOU SEE THAT MICHAEL IS AN IMPOSTER?
you didn’t approve my first comment, which included the link to paul’s poem and something like
haha i’m going to build a fucking spaceship!
so now you’re basically committing libel.
also, i think you may be losing your mind.
I never got that one. Next time if you choose a login option such as openid or whatever, no approval will be necessary. I tend to think you’re making shit up right now.
Neverminf. Found it. WordPress thought it was spam. Probably because of the link. It should let all future comments from younthru since I approved the first one. Sorry about that. We don’t much like anonymous trolls is all.
Reynard Seifert—
BTB
TWaK is my blog. PHM is a contributor and helps run things. and we approve all non-spam comments when we see them
One of those Pot Calling The Kettle Black monsters beat itself to death on this very spot. (Places the teddy bear).
Reynard Seifert—
BTB
TWaK is my blog. PHM is a contributor and helps run things. and we approve all non-spam comments when we see them
One of those Pot Calling The Kettle Black monsters beat itself to death on this very spot. (Places the teddy bear).
What was the monster’s name?
What was the monster’s name?
who says George Carlin is dead?
who says George Carlin is dead?
that’s what she said.
creepyyy
why it came like this
[…] Jimmy Chen: God damn it […]