mean monday

What’s the value in being mean? Is there a purpose in publicly shaming people?



here is a free template to use for a literary journal manifesto. i feel that this will help other people alienate and discourage other people. i was going to write a post about the democratization of literature (after reading blake’s blog) but i can’t handle a steaming 85 comment thread. here is the template:

we at “(name of river or city or college) Review” like (random emotion). we like subversive (or transgressive, you choose!) work that (verb relating to exploration, perhaps “uncovers” or “unearths” (oh shit i like that “unearths”)) and (re-somethings, maybe re-interprets) the lens of fiction in an increasingly (vague literary theory) world. tempt us. hurt us. it’s like (author) said, “blah blah snow is pretty blah.” we like (vague descriptor, maybe “edgy” or “experimental”) but not (equally vague word like “profane” or “pornographic”). we want work that (verb meant to suggest intellectual stimulation) the reader. we want to change the world with our journal. we want mother teresa to leap from her grave (or condo if she’s still alive) and do a jig in her own ejaculate. in the words of (just go with ts eliot).

Random / 32 Comments
December 22nd, 2008 / 1:49 pm

mean monday: to the guy who works at Subway by my apartment who is kind of an asshole

i apologize in advance for what mean monday has done to me.  but this is to the guy who is kind of an asshole who works at Subway, by my apartment:

Why are you so fucking mean to me all the time, man?  I mean not all the time, because I don’t eat there that much–but what’s up man?   I’m sorry sometimes i can’t hear you, but you don’t have to yell, “Vutt kind bread?” over and over; it hurts my feelings.  When you yell at me like that, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel awful.  It makes me want to say, “More like, what un-kind bread” and then walk away crying.  Look, I know everything sucks, and that it’s also shitty when someone asks you to repeat something, but if we just be nice to each other, well, darnit, then whenever we are together we will be happy.  So I’m asking you, guy who works at Subway by my place: To stop hurting my feelings and start being my friend, you rascal.

Random / 18 Comments
November 17th, 2008 / 9:51 pm