April 23rd, 2009 / 8:30 am
Author Spotlight & Excerpts

EXCERPT: from Ellen Kennedy’s Sometimes My Heart Pushes My Ribs (#4)

 

I Like Every Time We Have Sex 


“I want to have sex with you.” 

“Thank you. I want to have sex with you also.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

“When I say I want to have sex with you I mean really.” 

“So do I.” 

“I mean really, I don’t just say that as a feeling. Do you understand? Did you really mean that you wanted to have sex with me when we were waiting on line at the movie theater before or did you just mean that as a feeling?” 

“I don’t know. I’m sorry” 

“Don’t be sorry. I really want to know. If I want to have sex with you I would really have sex with you.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

“Do you want to go to the bathroom with me?” 

“No. I don’t feel aroused anymore after all of that.” 

“We both agreed that it’s what the person’s final decision is that counts, not if it was influenced by the other person or if they thought of the idea on their own.” 

“I know. I just don’t feel aroused anymore.” 

“Okay. Are you okay?” 

“Yes. Are you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Did you like the movie?” 

“Yes I liked it.” 

“Good. I liked it also.” 

“What time is it?” 

“8:45.” 

“Okay. Does the train leave at 9:07 or 9:14?” 

“9:14 I think.” 

“Okay. We will be there soon.” 

“When we get home, you can shower first.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

“Thank you for giving me a blowjob on the train. That was very nice of you. That was brave.” 

“You’re welcome. Thank you for telling me that was nice and brave. I am glad you liked it. We probably could have just had sex on the train without anyone noticing. In an interview I read on the internet a person said that the best place to have sex in public is at a concert standing from behind while jumping with everyone else. That seems skillful.” 

“That is good. I would do that with you. I would have sex with you in public. I think if anyone sees us it will just make their lives more interesting and maybe help them reevaluate what really hurts people. Whenever you want to have sex with me you should try it and I would like it. I like having sex with you whenever you want to.” 

“I am glad you would have sex with me in public. I agree that it doesn’t hurt anyone. I wanted to have sex with you in the handicapped bathroom at EPCOT when we shoplifted the Alice in Wonderland dress.” 

“I would have had sex with you then. Thank you for telling me that. I put 3 vitamins in my smoothie today to counteract the sickness.”

“You’re welcome. I am glad you would have had sex with me then. I drank three smoothies today. I have been feeling better. I hope you don’t get sick from me.” 

“I am glad you have been feeling better. I feel pretty

good. I don’t think I will get sick.” 

“Good. Can I call you when I get into bed?” 

“Yes. I would like for you to call me when you are in bed.” 

“Okay. Thank you. I hope you have a good night.” 

“You’re welcome. I hope you have a good night also and sleep well. Good night.” 

“Good night.” 

 

+

 

Buy Sometimes My Heart Pushes My Ribs from Muumuu House.

Ellen Kennedy’s blog.

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22 Comments

  1. andy.riverbed

      available at the wayrd in g-ville

  2. andy.riverbed

      available at the wayrd in g-ville

  3. Paul Squires

      This is obviously a school of writing, does it have a name? Shall we call it Muumuu style? Faux-naive? It is curious. I would like to explore it in terms of literary history. Pinteresque perhaps. Almost anti-writing. Very American, very appealing to young people, I imagine since it takes very little technical skill but expresses a kind of ‘coolness’ one associates with sneakers and junk food. Tao Lin is a very clever entrepeneur. By presenting it as ‘literature’ in a book people can buy rather than blog posts written by young people who want to be different from their parents, he has Andy Warholed quite spectacularly. Until the lack of actual content causes it to implode under pressure.

  4. Paul Squires

      This is obviously a school of writing, does it have a name? Shall we call it Muumuu style? Faux-naive? It is curious. I would like to explore it in terms of literary history. Pinteresque perhaps. Almost anti-writing. Very American, very appealing to young people, I imagine since it takes very little technical skill but expresses a kind of ‘coolness’ one associates with sneakers and junk food. Tao Lin is a very clever entrepeneur. By presenting it as ‘literature’ in a book people can buy rather than blog posts written by young people who want to be different from their parents, he has Andy Warholed quite spectacularly. Until the lack of actual content causes it to implode under pressure.

  5. alan horn

      I think it’s kind of sexy.

  6. alan horn

      I think it’s kind of sexy.

  7. The Ghost of Andrei Platonov

      I wholly agree with Mr. Squires. He expressed himself well.

      The Muumuu Generation is a lot like the Beat Generation, except somehow even less substantive.

      In other words, this post, and this school of writing in general, is worth a cripple’s fart.

  8. The Ghost of Andrei Platonov

      I wholly agree with Mr. Squires. He expressed himself well.

      The Muumuu Generation is a lot like the Beat Generation, except somehow even less substantive.

      In other words, this post, and this school of writing in general, is worth a cripple’s fart.

  9. The Ghost of Andrei Platonov

      Taylor, you little monkey-man, harken to my voice.

      Instead of pressing the facile writings of this poor girl on us – this girl who’s been prematurely brought into the world of letters, her body so small it might fit in the palm of our hands – why not write a defense of Muumuu Houses’ sanctioned aesthetic?

  10. The Ghost of Andrei Platonov

      Taylor, you little monkey-man, harken to my voice.

      Instead of pressing the facile writings of this poor girl on us – this girl who’s been prematurely brought into the world of letters, her body so small it might fit in the palm of our hands – why not write a defense of Muumuu Houses’ sanctioned aesthetic?

  11. brandon

      paul squires can you explain ‘lack of content’

      if this piece doesn’t have content, what has content, and why

      can you give examples

      seems interesting to me; feel like i want to understand

      feel like i really want to know

  12. brandon

      paul squires can you explain ‘lack of content’

      if this piece doesn’t have content, what has content, and why

      can you give examples

      seems interesting to me; feel like i want to understand

      feel like i really want to know

  13. davidpeak

      yo, platonov. the foundation pit was the shit.

  14. davidpeak

      yo, platonov. the foundation pit was the shit.

  15. tao

      damn

  16. tao

      damn

  17. Your Mother's Ex-Boyfriend

      Of course all the hyper-articulate Mr. Lin can say is ‘damn.’

      I too agree with Mr. Squires. You have exposed this poor young girl to enough ridicule. I hope this is the last of her insipid verses you will publish.

      It’s telling that Muumuu House’s publicist said their audience is ages 10-25. It is not a literary movement, is a Young Adult publisher for slightly mature pre-teens and young teens and post-adolescent hipsters who make up the audience on Mr. Lin’s blog. It’s like a boy band.

      Very excellent marketing, and if that’s what HTML Giant aspires to, people can go elsewhere for consideration of adult literature.

      Silly Mr. Squires, Muumuu House is for kids. Very young ones, mostly.

  18. Your Mother's Ex-Boyfriend

      Of course all the hyper-articulate Mr. Lin can say is ‘damn.’

      I too agree with Mr. Squires. You have exposed this poor young girl to enough ridicule. I hope this is the last of her insipid verses you will publish.

      It’s telling that Muumuu House’s publicist said their audience is ages 10-25. It is not a literary movement, is a Young Adult publisher for slightly mature pre-teens and young teens and post-adolescent hipsters who make up the audience on Mr. Lin’s blog. It’s like a boy band.

      Very excellent marketing, and if that’s what HTML Giant aspires to, people can go elsewhere for consideration of adult literature.

      Silly Mr. Squires, Muumuu House is for kids. Very young ones, mostly.

  19. tao

      hehe

  20. tao

      hehe

  21. oat

      dumn

  22. oat

      dumn