January 21st, 2012 / 7:06 pm
 Contests

Kama Sutra, Baby

Penguin Classics is releasing a new translation of the Kama Sutra, the ancient spiritual sex manual (yes, it’s much more than that, I know) that  people pretend to know all about when they want to impress a date. Or, maybe I saw that in a movie once. This new version, translated by A.N.D. Haksar,  has been adapted to modern lives. It’s the Kama Sutra, for the people, now featuring wit and charm.

Penguin has offered to give a copy to a lucky reader, so I’m having a contest! To enter, invent a new sexual position that belongs in the Kama Sutra. Leave your entries in the comment field. The best one wins and you have until Wednesday, the 25th. This will be fun, I hope. I’ll also throw in Running the Rift by Naomi Benaron, The Fallback Plan by Leigh Stein, and also some galleys TBD.

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27 Comments

  1. January 21st, 2012 / 7:15 pm thaleslira—

      The Facebooker: The couple poke each other until maximum pleasure.

  2. January 21st, 2012 / 7:20 pm Ethan—

      I want to poop back and forth. I’ll poop in your butt hole, and then you’ll poop it back into my butt. And we’ll keep doing it, back and forth, with the same poop. Forever.

  3. January 21st, 2012 / 7:21 pm Roxane—

      Romance.

  4. January 21st, 2012 / 7:24 pm Frank Tas—

      The Pearl Harbor – When you make a movie of yourself having sex and the movie comes out really really badly.

  5. January 21st, 2012 / 7:24 pm Frank Tas—

      So you can’t post without being on disqus now, huh? This is going to confuse me a lot more than it should!

  6. January 21st, 2012 / 8:00 pm Daniel Bailey—

      the illumination: when JSF masturbates under his desk while his manuscript in progress cums light all over his face

  7. January 21st, 2012 / 8:52 pm Helen—

      The shelver: In a bookshop, on top of a big pile of books, while both partners are reading AND blogging about it. And both looking charmingly deshabille.

  8. January 21st, 2012 / 8:55 pm Ethan—

      hikikomori unprotected tentacle cybersex

      amputee cheerleader threesome love triangle

      micropenis full penetration nostril banging

      Thank god we can comment on htmlgiant again.

  9. January 21st, 2012 / 10:01 pm Evan Hatch—

      that’s far less funny then the name made me expect it to be

  10. January 21st, 2012 / 10:29 pm Frank Tas—

      You were thinking some sort of bukkake thing?

  11. January 21st, 2012 / 10:59 pm deadgod—

      Rather than ‘unfunny’, the Pearl Harbor is going to involve a display of explosive orgasm that’s energetically unpersuasive.

  12. January 21st, 2012 / 11:06 pm mimi—

      Dr. Strangelove – When you make a movie of yourself having sex and the movie comes out really really funny and really really good.

  13. January 21st, 2012 / 11:30 pm Michael—

      The MFA in Creative Writing: In the midst of having sex, stop. (Optional: tell your partner that this part “just isn’t working for me.”) Fall asleep clinging to your partner and weeping silently. Wake up abandoned, work on your manuscript.

  14. January 22nd, 2012 / 1:43 pm Anonymous—

      The Panini – sex in a functioning tanning bed. A hot, melty, crispy-on-the-outside mess.

  15. January 22nd, 2012 / 2:18 pm Nancy Nixon—

      me and you and everyone we know

  16. January 22nd, 2012 / 3:19 pm Anonymous—

      haha!

  17. January 22nd, 2012 / 3:22 pm tyler lebens—

      The Liz Lemon: order a pizza and eat it missionary style.

  18. January 22nd, 2012 / 4:04 pm M. Kitchell—

      the heterosexual:  when one or more partners come and then immediately fall asleep before helping you to achieve orgasm

      the anti-capitalist:  enjoying sex without caring whether you or any of your partners come

      the vicious viscous circle:  positioning oneself in a somewhat awkward position that places your genitals directly over your mouth as you prop yourself up on you shoulders or neck.  at the point of orgasm aim for your mouth & immediately swallow the come.  repeat ad nauseum. 

  19. January 22nd, 2012 / 10:28 pm marshall—

      nice

  20. January 23rd, 2012 / 4:45 am Anonymous—

      the pretentious:  when you stand naked in front of, and stare into, a full length mirror and jerk off to your own reflection.

  21. January 24th, 2012 / 11:09 am Vidit Narang—

      The 66/99:

      When two egotistical people fight over who goes down on whom first.

  22. January 24th, 2012 / 12:48 pm Matthew Ruben Selitsky Daniels—

      The iForn: Standing, both partners hold mobile device in right hand and lock arms so that they face opposite directions and each looks at his or her respective mobile device. With left hand, reach beneath and between partner’s buttocks. Dial. Accept.

  23. January 24th, 2012 / 2:19 pm prateek—

      rather than invent a new position it’d be nice to actually know the old texts for what they already experimented and figured, rather than what we have deciphered from hear say and shallow contemporary translations…wabisabi

  24. January 24th, 2012 / 4:50 pm Nathaniel Siqueiros—

      The Across the Universe: The ability to give one another an orgasm from a distance.

  25. January 25th, 2012 / 3:02 am Anonymous—

      The Ron Paul Real Talk Presidential Nation Express: Dream of something that will never cum. 

  26. January 27th, 2012 / 1:00 pm Kama Sutra, Baby: Pick Your Position | HTMLGIANT—

      […] entries for the Kama Sutra contest were so great, I need help picking a winner. Feel free to vote in the comments by listing the number […]

  27. February 2nd, 2012 / 12:38 am Roxane—

      You had the most likes, so you win, Tyler! Email me your address at roxane at htmlgiant dot com and you will get free books.