January 21st, 2010 / 12:57 pm
Contests
“When Authors Get Off” Contest
Per Annalemma Editor/Publisher Chris Heavener’s comment in the “When Authors Get Hungry” winner post, HTMLGIANT and Annalemma are joining hands for a “When Authors Get Off” contest, to be judged by Chris, who will procure the generous prize—the current and all back issues of Annalemma (or, if you’ll allow me the spirit, Analenema).
In the same fashion as with our preceding contest, name some porn parody titles (Girl with Curious Pubic Hair; Go Down, On Me, Moses; Howard’s End, etc). A call for submissions will also follow this contest, for a collaborative piece named after the winning title, edited by Chris and published online at Annalemma. Details forthcoming here with announcement of the winner.
Tags: annalemma
Mysterious Foreskin
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The Burn of the Screw
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slaughterhouse fuck
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White Teats
You Are a Little Bit Hornier Than I am
How We Are Horny
Jesus’ Cum
2669
69 Stories
Journey to the End of the Bed
What We Talk About When We Talk About Ass-fucking
The Box Man
a few bonus ones:
The Son Also Rises
Sex and Sexability
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:13 pmdavidpeak—
Jesus’ Cum.
Okay. I quit.
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:48 pmdavid—
yes!
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THE LAYING OF LOT 49
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Orgasmistan
Seize the Lay
The Battlefield Where the Moon Says I’m Cumming
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Infinite Jism
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Woman in the Dude
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:19 pmJimmy Chen—
lol that’s awesome
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:33 pmjames—
thanks jimmy
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Ab Salon, Ab Salon
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:17 pmDavid—
also Night Wood
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:17 pmjames—
heh
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Eleven Kinds of Horniness
House of Beavers
Revenge of the Porn
An Unfortunate Naked Woman
Poon Deluxe
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CAR CRASH WHILE HITCHHUMPING
A salesman who shared as he licked her and steered while sleeping…A Cherokee filled with sexual lubricants…A VW no more than a bubble of sex fog, captained by a college student…
And a family from Marshaltown who headonned and killed forever a man driving west out of Bethany, Missouri…
…My erection rose sopping wet from [OK, you get it, i'll stop]
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no one belongs here inside me more than you
letters from my nuts
bright lights, big titty
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Portrait of the Artist as a Hung Man
Ulyssex
Finnegan’s Wank
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:35 pma moorad—
“Portrait – nice one.
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:58 pmMather Schneider—
Finnegan’s Wank made me laugh.
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Midnight Dicklick
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Probe-y Dick
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Tight Boxes
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Atlas Plugged
The Naked and the Spread
The Cumming Man
The Catcher is a Guy
My Spud Also Rises
Long Jim
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:33 pmjames—
“my spud,” nice
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January 21st, 2010 / 10:48 pmBen Spivey—
the catcher is a guy made me laugh
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The Power and the Glory-hole
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:36 pma moorad—
ha. so gross
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Grundel
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The Heart is a Horny Hunter
Brave Nude Girl
Go SpillI it on Her Mountains
A Cockwork Orange
Great Sexpectations
Remembrance of Bing’s Ass
Abonement
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Holy shit. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
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January 21st, 2010 / 4:41 pmmimi—
Me neither!
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“A Hard Man is Good to Find”
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:42 pmAmelia—
oh my god
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:48 pmjames—
heh, i remember this poster my older sister had up in her dormroom that said that. the phrase haunted me. what is a “hard man?” it took me years to figure out what it meant
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:52 pmDavid E—
that was actually a Sports Illustrated ad years ago with a flexing Ken Norton (sr.).
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:12 pmjames—
i think it was actually a different one, some dude taking off his shirt. also i feel like he was caucasian
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:19 pmDavid E—
i hadn’t seen your s when i posted mine, james.
indeed, probably a different one.
weird, there were two, or maybe not.
January 21st, 2010 / 2:19 pmmagick mike—
my highschool english professor had this ad on her bulletin board
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:21 pmjames—
seems “inappropriate,” kind of cool
Sizing Up, Going Down
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The Rainbow-Kiss Stories
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Tree of Smut
MoBig Dick
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
No Cuntry for Old Men
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:49 pmjames—
taking from above: “the heart is a horny cunter”
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:52 pmMather Schneider—
James, “The Heart is a Horny Hunter” is one of the funniest ones, and here you go butting in and taking it to a level that is just not funny. Just because Jimmy complimented you, you don’t have to spaz out.
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:13 pmjames—
excuse me?
The Humid Stain
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:51 pmjames—
man, that’s nasty
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his eye was watching todd
inside her volcano
naked punch
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[...] for a contest. Taking yesterday’s When Author’s Get Hungry contest, we decided to throw When Author’s Get Off. Go over to the Giant and turn your favorite book title into something ribald, titillating or [...]
The Portrait of a Ladyboy
Screwtopia
The Magic Mountin’
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The Rapes of Gash
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Stories of Your Worst Lay
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
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January 21st, 2010 / 1:59 pmMatthew Simmons—
Samuel Johnson is in Dignan
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:08 pmMatthew Simmons—
Notable American Orgies
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:13 pmdavid—
notice my entry:
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
January 21st, 2010 / 2:18 pmMatthew Simmons—
Aw, man! You beat me.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Hershey Highway
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:00 pmDavid—
lol
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great ejaculations
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Gored Jim
Twat, Malloy
Ass Passage to India
Brighton Cock
Maidenhead Revisited
Fuckleberry Finn
Volpoon
A Farewell to Arse
Invisible Cans
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:16 pmrachel a.—
The Gapes of Wrath
Dong of Solomon
In Cold Semen
Angela Flashes
A Raisin in the Cunt
No Other Boob
Madame Bovulvary
Invisible Titties
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The Hunt For Red Wings
The Milkman Always Comes Twice
Go Tell It On Your Knees
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All The Pretty Filthy Whores
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Twats Heating Gilbert’s Grapes
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:27 pmChris—
amazing.
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you bright and jism angels
scorched asses
licked boxes
catcher with his guy
from whom the belle blows
in cold slut
a heartbreaking work of slobbering penis
extremely loud and incredible hoes
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:12 pmdrew kalbach—
for whom the belle blows*
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Tuesdays With Glory Hole
The Joy Fuck Club
MLKNG DCKS
Will You Be Quiet and Eat Me, Please?
U and My Clit: A True Story
A Light In the Basement (A Gacy Bio For All)
The Old Man and the C
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:16 pmBlake Butler—
MLKNG DCKS is funny
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:20 pmDavid E—
thanks blake
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A Good Scent from a Strange Mounting
O-face Pioneers!
Cry, the Beloved Cuntry
Something Wicked this Way Cums
Nineteen Sixty-nine
The Fountain Head
Death Comes on the Archbishop
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:17 pmDavid E—
O-face pioneers! classic
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The Son Also Rises
The Unbearable Lightness of Blowing
A Tale of Twin’s Clitties
Catcher in the Eye
Eatin’ Jerome
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The Wet Dreamsongs
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The Sun Also Rises
The Old Man and the “C”
Little Whorehouse on the Prairie
The Queerhunter
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:28 pmDavid—
the sun also rises is pretty fantastic
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January 21st, 2010 / 3:27 pmjames—
totally
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Babyfucker-fucker
My Ass Laid Bare
The Pork
The Anal-beads of Wire and String
Mysteries of Small Penises
Mount Analdong
The Driver’s Meat
My Loose Asshole
Dicksville
In Youth is Pleasure
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The Ass Bead Game
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Anal Farm.
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The Grapes of Ass
The Winter of our Fist Content
Cunt’s Cradle
Oliver Fist
A Tail and Two Titties
Darkness at Poon
Native Buns
A Handful Of Bust
The Naked and Some Head
Naked Munch
One Spoo Over the Cuckoo’s Chest
Wide Sargasso Semen
On the Choad
King Leer
Moby Dick
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The Floating Ass-to-Ass Orgy
Sixty Sluts / Forty Sluts
The Mysterious Secret of the Valuable Orgasm
Horny Baby
The Glass Bead Cock-ring
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:43 pmreynard—
actually:
The Floating Orgy and The End of the Rod
(the floating ass-to-ass orgy is out of print)
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Heada Gobler
The Imperative Mood
Spankenstein
Our Mutual Friend
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January 21st, 2010 / 2:51 pmTrey—
Spankenstein. excellent, sir.
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Infinite Jizz
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Invisible Titties
A Long Lay’s Journey into Night
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A Tale of Two Cities
Their Thighs Were Straddling Rob
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January 21st, 2010 / 3:55 pmjay—
Oops – “Cities” should be “Titties”
Naturally
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The Cummunist Menifesto
The Pound in the Furry
Ball the King’s Men
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The Pound and the Furry
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20,000 Leagues Under The Pharynx
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i know why the caged bird sings
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January 21st, 2010 / 4:04 pmChris—
Oh I see what u did there…
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January 21st, 2010 / 4:11 pmMather Schneider—
You got your eyes open chris
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The Cock Doctrine
Anal Karenina
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War and Piss
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The Chaser in The Rye
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All The Sad Young Goatse Boys
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A Fag’s Notes
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All Bellow…
Dangling Men
Humboldt’s Throbbing Gift
Henderson The Rim King
Him With His Cock In His Mouth
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January 21st, 2010 / 4:12 pmdavidpeak—
The Adventures of Soggy Tarts
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Harry Pooper and the Order of the Penis
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The Old Man and the Semen
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The Royal Family
Lolita
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Kamby Bolongo Mean Ass-Rape White Bitches
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For Whom The HUGE BLACK COCKS, LACTATING COCKS AND SCAT
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Gone WIth The CHUBS AND BEARS AND SILVERDADDIES
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The Bear (too easy)
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198Fornication
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The Cumshot Chronicle
The Skin Drum
The History of the Kelly Gangbang
To the Whorehouse
WhereI’m Cumming From
Ironween
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Three cups of cum: One man’s mission to promote peace
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Pale Ho, Pale Rider
The Kite Fucker
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Infinite Breast
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Whore and Feces
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Jaws
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A Tale of Two Titties
All Over Tits
The Merchant of Penis
The Great Pussy
The Davinci Chode
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The Handjob Maid’s Tail
A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream
Reading Hustler in Tehran
The Taint of Pooh
Leak, Mammory
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie
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the diarrhea of anne frank
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January 22nd, 2010 / 1:33 amTrey—
oh my god, I can’t believe this is one.
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The Lovesong of Gray Athletic Cum Sock
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January 22nd, 2010 / 1:16 amNate Z—
Uh, identical syllables, absurdity, hilarity, and – ashamedly – a scent. Fuck, this is raucous.
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Portnoy’s Cum Plaint!
The Load
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Romeo Ate Julie Out
The Lovely Boners
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ooooo ooo ooo
The Ballsacks
No Cuntry for Old Men
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January 21st, 2010 / 8:12 pmBen Brooks—
shit missed an o
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Tender is the Knob
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Rear end Boning in Las Vegas
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January 21st, 2010 / 11:15 pmBen Brooks—
New Poon: The Tootight Saga
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The Pearl Necklace
The Man with the Golden Schlong
Lost Whore-izons
Snatch-22
Catch Her in Her Eye
The Dick of the Magi
Come Silent, Come Deep
Slutterfield 8
American Past Oral
I Married a Sadist
The Beautiful and Rammed
The Lovely Boner
The How Do I Taste Land
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Wad-shot Scandal
Gravity’s Rainblow
The Belle’s Jar
His Slide into Paradise
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1984 = nineteen-tranny-whores
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’s Dick?
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January 21st, 2010 / 10:59 pmBen Spivey—
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Anal
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Brief Intercourse With Hideous Men
A Supposedly Fun Guy I’ll Never Do Again
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Lord of the Cock Rings
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Top-lifting in American Apparrel
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The Bonfire of the Panties
Letch-22
Naked Felch
Lord of the Thighs
Sometimes a Great Motion
Animal Harm
The Red Vag of Courage
The Rape Gatsby
Brave New Whore
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[...] Not sure if anyone has seen this or not, but HTMLGIANT is currently running a contest through their site called “When Authors Get Off.” [...]
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Ass
Double Dildo Indemnity
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The Adult Moviegoer
Barely Legal Sophie’s Choice
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At Play in the Fields of the Douchebags
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Black Cock Moan
Enter the Dick
The Drunken Masturbator
The Chinese Erection
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LOL-eater
Minima Oralia (Past Oralia?)
The Thing He Carried
Invitation to a Good Head
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[...] the raging success of “When Authors Get Hungry” HTML Giant’s Jimmy Chen launched “When Authors Get Off”. Readers’ response was impressive as usual, here’s my very [...]
“A Tinkle in Mine”
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“Little Mouse on the Hairy”
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“Cold Yeller”
“Where the Dick Walk Bends”
“The Lion, the Bitch, and the Whore’s Robe”
“Bald’in; or, Strife with Woodies”
“Cavity’s PainHo”
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Self-Pleasure in a Convex Mirror
Cleaves of Ass
Rumpelforeskin
A Wind in the Pillows
Load on a Grecian Urn
The Joy Luck Club
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Fistin’ Lavransdatter
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A Dirty Well Lubed Place
A Dick Cums Through It
Blood Meridian: Or A Monthly Redness in Her Cleft
Lust in the Time of Chlamydia
Cum Falling on Hooters
Lone Ranger and Tonto Bareback in Heaven
Atlas Buggered
The House of Girth
Adventures in Cuckold Fun
All Wet on the Southern Front
A Whores Garden of Perverse
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Little Hoes on the Prairie
The Chocolate Whore
Beyond the Chocolate Whore
My Brother Sam Gives Head
A Ho Ain’t Nothing but a Sandwich
Willy Wanker and the Cocklick Factory
Pounder
I Am the Tease
Where the Red Fur Grows
The Gay
Go Ask Anus
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Spit, Melanie
Men Without Semen
The Guy of the Ancient Mariner
Fore Skin, White Masks
The Quaalude (dedicated to Roman Polanski)
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[...] over to HTMLGIANT where the results for the “When Writers Get Off” contest have been announced. Congrats to Chris Killen for having the most depraved brain. [...]
[...] Chris Killen is the winner of HTMLGIANT & Annalemma’s “When Writers Get Off” contest. Congratulations Chris. Some notes from judge Chris Heavener of Annalemma: First of [...]
One Hundred Years of a Solid Dude
The Hymen Comedy
By the River Piedra I Went Down and Wept
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