Posts Tagged ‘word count’

ToBS R1: Facebook status updates re: present MS word count vs. Alcoholism

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

[Matchup #2 in Tournament of Bookshit]

OMG how I loathe the assbaitishness of your posts telling everyone how many words you’ve written. But I don’t know, maybe I should be like fucking thanking you, because by telling me how much you’ve written, I can be sure I will definitely never want to read what you publish when you finish it, if you finish it, since you seem so busy telling me how much you’ve written, and that takes time away from tweaking your shit. If you write 5,000 words, chances are that 4,950 of them are shit, and chances are even greater that the 50 you have left over are in the wrong order or something, and when you finally get those lined up right you will probably be able to lose half of those as well, so the word count of your status update itself turns out to have a higher word count than what you’ve really actually word doc-written, and it’s probably more interesting because at least your status update tells me how pathetic you are, something that whatever you’ve been word doc-writing happens to leave out, unforch. (more…)

FRIGG n’ Microfiction

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

a_5

Frigg Magazine’s All Microfiction Issue is out, featuring Kim Chinquee, Lydia Copeland, Kathy Fish, Scott Garson, Barry Graham, Tiff Holland, Mary Miller, Kim Parko, Jennifer Pieroni, Meg Pokrass, Joseph Young, and Randall Brown — the latter two whom debate on “What is microfiction?” (Why argue? The purple-quilled ladies of Fiction Factor provide the answer here.)

I always like how each writer is given their own front page e-bookish thing. My only commentary is I don’t like the parenthetical word counts which precede each piece, kinda distracting. I also don’t like it when editors ask for word counts. It’s like — look. Just look at the story. Is it long or short? Do your eyes feel okay? What did you have for breakfast? Can you not do us the favor of doing a ‘word count’ in ‘tools’ in your ‘word document’ since you have ‘fingers’ and ‘volition’ and since you’re such a curious person.

Sorry about that. Here’s my point: read the new issue of Frigg, and good job everyone.

Literature Rules

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Literature does rule, but I was talking about the rules. Here are some nice websites with implicit publishing parameters, along with examples of my own.

55 words

[Example]: The autistic free-style rapper kept on saying ‘word’, like this: Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word. Word.

72 words

[Example]: The autistic goth kept on saying ‘the world is a vampire,’ like: the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire, the world is a vampire.

6 sentences

[Example]: John wrote a sentence. This was the sentence. Then, he google imaged ‘ass’ and encountered two types of photos. The first was people’s buttocks. The second was donkeys. There was no third.

1 Story

[Example]: Once upon a time, John Cage wrote a story.

12 Stories

[Examples]: extremely abridged versions

Story 1: Gatsby loved, the world hated.

Story 2: Leopold Bloom had a nice day (not exactly).

Story 3: Mrs. Dalloway and menopause.

Story 4: Portnoy complained.

Story 5: Lolita gave good head.

Story 6: Kurtz, he dead.

Story 7: Anna Karenina, she dead.

Story 8: Gay boys on the beach, blowing.

Story 9: RSVP, Godot. Not.

Story 10: Two cities, fucked.

Story 11: K., fucked.

Story 12: Arab on the beach, fucked.