Drew Toal

Spader is the new Rumsfeld

spader

I didn’t think it was possible to pack so many cliches into such a small space, but the voiceover on this trailer for the 1985 James Spader vehicle Tuff Turf may have set some kind of record. It’s almost poetic…

Meet Morgan Hiller
He’s got an attitude
They’ve got a problem
He lives in two worlds
Always behind enemy lines
Tuff Turf

He’s a loner on a roll
An outsider on the edge
Caught between a dangerous loser
And the girl they both love
They can’t shut him down
And they can’t cool him off
Tuff Turf

He stands alone
And one way or another
He’s going to make this town his own
He’s always been a rebel
Now he’s about to become a hero
Tuff Turf

Random / 9 Comments
August 12th, 2009 / 12:34 pm

Mightiest of books, mightiest of men

kirk_vikings_1Following the expulsion of Erik Bloodaxe from York in 954, England had enjoyed a quarter-century of respite from Viking attacks. One of the two men responsible for their resumption was Olaf Tryggvason. Olaf’s is one of the emblematic careers of the Viking Age, describing in clear trajectory his graduation from marauding sea-king to missionary land-king. His life and career are the subject of one of Snorri Sturluson’s longer sagas, of one even longer called The Greater Saga of Olaf Tryggvason, and of a lost sage written in Latin by Odd Monk, which nevertheless survives in a free translation.

That bit is taken from Robert Ferguson’s epic, forthcoming history of the Vikings, coveniently entitled The Vikings. If you could have a saga written about you, what would it be called? And who would write it? Subquestion: How do you think Erik got the surname ‘Bloodaxe’?

Blind Items / 2 Comments
August 11th, 2009 / 2:41 pm

From the Balki Bartokomous wiki

One episode had Larry going duck hunting and the normally gentle Balki surprisingly asks to come along, out of an intense hatred for ducks, which are regarded as vicious predators on Mypos. The description he gives of the ducks on Mypos later in the episode, however, implies that in fact Pterodactyls still exist on the island.

Excerpts / 27 Comments
August 7th, 2009 / 2:45 pm

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Hank Williams III [Update: Turns out it was junior in the picture. My bust.] turned out to not actually be related to the legendary Hank Williams I and instead turned out to be the illegitimate son of Marge Schott and dog shit? Because I think that would be awesome.

Literature of the golden gophers

Jesse_VenturaI’ve got Minnesota on my mind. This contest—an ongoing, weekly Minnesota-themed trivia melee and scavenger hunt beginning this October—looks like a lot of fun, and the Twin Cities sound like a pretty awesome and cold place to be. Apparently, one has to actually be in town to take be able to win fabulous prizes (Vikings era Randall Cunningham jersey? Jesse “The Mind” Ventura autograph?), but they are, until August 14, taking submissions for questions which will be the engine for the lit hunt. Email your esoteric questions concerning dissenting opinions from the Warren E. Burger court to twincitieslit@gmail.com. Contest winners will receive a grab bag of books from Coffee House, Graywolf and other sweet presses.

Coffee House Press, Graywolf Press, The Loft Literary Center, and Milkweed Editions are celebrating our anniversaries and Minnesota’s thriving literary community by hosting a grand scavenger hunt: Around the Literary Twin Cities in (Almost) 80 Days. Each week, from mid-October through December 24th, we will be releasing a Minnesota-themed literary trivia question with prizes awarded for correct answers presented at local venues and a grand prize drawing at the end.

Contests / No Comments
August 3rd, 2009 / 4:02 pm

Diet tips

Do tricks. Get fed.

Do tricks. Get fed.

Speaking as a recently rehabilitated lover of Pop Tarts and Easy Mac, I have recently (the last year or two) actually started to wonder about where my food comes from, and what the process was that brought it before me. There are plenty of books out there now for the curious (Fast Food Nation, The Omnivore’s Dilemma, etc), but I, for one, am only interested in taking nutritional advice from a reclusive, bearded old Japanese farmer—specifically, The One-Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka (recently rereleased by the NYRB). In this wonderful little book, Fukuoka lays down the details of his unique practice of sustainable, “do-nothing” farming, and speculates on the not-so-awesome ramifications of industrial agriculture and your typical food consumers disassociation from their hunter-gatherer forebears. Fukuoka died last summer, at the ripe, wrinkly age of 95, so I think it’s safe to say that his methods worked.

Uncategorized / 11 Comments
July 27th, 2009 / 1:24 pm

Earlier today, my friend Rebecca im’d me with the message, “Barth died.” I inquired, “John Barth?” She said, “Uh, sure.” The Internet turned up nothing on this, so I asked her where she heard this distressing news. Turns out she was talking about Barth from You Can’t Do That On Television, and just assumed that was his full name. Barth: Gone too soon.

Fishing for something to read

I'd love to hook me a Snork

I'd love to hook me a Snork

I was back home in South Jersey this past weekend. Knowing full well how difficult it is to find good books down there (there will be no Nelson DeMille for Mrs. Toal’s boy), I made sure to bring my own reading material. Of course, in the end, I was no match for the call of the mall, and before I knew it ended up poking around in Borders. When was the last time you found something good at that place? It’s all vampires, self-help and celeb or Jesus bullshit these days. You have to go in to the nonfiction aisle to even have a chance of finding a tolerable title. Which I did. And I came across Tom McGuane’s The Longest Silence: A Life in Fishing. Has anyone read this? I haven’t been out fishing for at least a decade, yet felt strangely compelled to read it. I like McGuane’s fiction well enough, but to define your life in terms of angled snappers and trout—that is awesome.

I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to Atlantic County for suggesting that its denizens can’t read. I’m…sorry.


Behind the Scenes / No Comments
July 22nd, 2009 / 3:41 pm

James Hamilton-Paterson: Green opinions you can trust

Saltier than thou

Saltier than thou

“The oceans have long been, and will long be, subjected to ruthless exploitation and even, in places, to ruin. It is not really the sea which is in recession, though, but wildness itself. Wildness is everywhere but it can no longer be seen; and its apparent vanishing is a direct consequence of the new conservationism. ‘The Wild’ is nowadays a concept ringing with the overtones of patronage, of collections by schoolchildren on its behalf. The present generation is as much contaminated by its own reverential and placatory attitude as the older was by domination. There is something ignoble about it, compounded as it is of urban sentimentalism, virtuous concern and sheer panic at having irrevocably fouled the nest while so comfortably lining it…Virtue and the wild share no common universe.”—Seven-Tenths: The Sea and its Thresholds.

Power Quote / 2 Comments
July 16th, 2009 / 10:08 am

A thousand times yes. Bobby Digital drops some knowledge and his “singular philosophical code” on us October 15  with The Tao of Wu.

I’ll tell you what you can do with your review, buddy

debottonAlain de Botton, sardonic author of How Proust Can Change Your Life and, more recently, The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work, positively flipped his shit when the NYT Book Review made some unglowing remarks about his latest book. The line “I will hate you until the day I die” was used. Take that, brainless critic! We need more hate in publishing, far as I’m concerned. Who wants to take a Louisville Slugger to James Frey? Anyone?

Author News / 33 Comments
July 8th, 2009 / 1:48 pm

Going away for a bit tomorrow. Bringing Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Lost World, James Hamilton-Patterson’s Seven-Tenths and A High Wind in Jamaica by Richard Hughes. Anyone else have any warm weather book suggestions?

Lowbrow Reader post #2

chriselliottThe other day, I posted some junk on the long-lost Gilbert Rogin from the latest installment of the the Lowbrow Reader. Today, I will share a brief email correspondence with the equally reclusive editor of that journal, Jay Ruttenberg.

Good day sir. Would you mind talking a bit about the genesis of the Lowbrow Reader? Did you always know that it would become the phenomenon it has?

We started the Lowbrow Reader in the fall of 2000 and published the first issue the following year. At the time, the smart people of the world were all conceiving online things, so what did I do? Started a print publication. The original concept was to mix comedy and commentary about comedy—specifically the kind of “lowbrow” fare that so often gets condemned by traditional media. I’m a big Adam Sandler fan, and could never understand how “Billy Madison”—which I consider to be a masterpiece—would be reviled by critics. In some weird way, it seemed akin to elements of the mainstream ’60s press treating the Beatles or Bob Dylan as some kind of passing teen fad.

Did I always know it would become the phenomenon it has? Our publication is blessed with eight readers. When we launched, never in my wildest dreams did I think we would surpass five. I guess some people just have a special gift.

Read the rest of this offensive tete-a-tete after these messages.

READ MORE >

Author News / 3 Comments
June 25th, 2009 / 11:03 am

Lowbrow Reader #7: Gilbert Rogin

lowbrow

Did you know that the imense bones of Orestes, the discovery of which Herodotus relates, are now believed to be those of a prehistoric monster? Of course, the inference is not that Orestes had undergone a metamorphosis in his lifetime, one that was revealed from an examination of his remains; it is rather that the prevalent cult of heroic relics required outsized bones, and conveniently, those of great, lumbering Pleistocene beasts popped up from time to time. More persuasively, it was the other way round, as it often is, the uncovering of the bones leading to the formation of the cult.

But suppose the bones were Orestes’, that he became aware that he was in the grip of a terrible transformation, and that he was unhinged. Could that explain everything that followed? Something to think about early in the morning when your dad’s ghostly, fluent fingers seem to be accompanying the rain.

Who is Gilbert Rogin, exactly? His books are out of print, but he has had 33 stories published in the New Yorker over the years, was once complimented by Joyce Carol Oates in the Partisan Review, likened (in print) to Bruno Schulz by Updike and for years was managing editor of Sports Illustrated.

What?

Later this week I will ask LR editor Jay Ruttenberg how he rediscovered this crotchety literary gem, met up with him and then got Rogin to write in his modest publication. It’s a funny story.

Get your copy of the new Lowbrow Reader here.

Author Spotlight / 12 Comments
June 23rd, 2009 / 4:14 pm

Other cities

autobot_cityIf Blake likes a book, you can be relatively sure that it will be decent or, at the very least, cause some sweet internal hemorrhaging. Awhile ago I read with interest something that he posted about this Dalkey book just recently translated into English, The Other City, by Michal Ajvaz. Being a masochist, I eventually picked it up and, with its weird transdimensional runes and strange otherworldly trolleys, hasn’t disappointed. The Prague Ajvaz describes isn’t one you’d recognize from a Fodor’s travel guide, but is definitely truer for all that, I think. I say this having never been to Prague, but it just feels right. Laird Hunt (whose new book Ray of the Star is coming out in September some time), touches on this idea in his last novel, The Exquisite. He writes:

There are two New Yorks. One of them is the one you go out into every day and every day it smacks you in the face and maybe you laugh a little and the people walk down the street and trucks blow their horns and you are happy or you are not, but your heart is beating. Your heart is beating as you walk, say, through a steady drizzle, your beat-up umbrella bumping other beat-up umbrellas, muttering excuse me, skirting small, dirty puddles and drifts of dark sediment, stepping out of the way of the young woman or young man on a cell phone who didn’t see you coming, didn’t notice you had stepped out of the way, didn’t give a shit, didn’t hear you say, because of this, fuck you, saying fuck you with your heart beating faster, feeling pretty good about saying fuck you, suddenly maybe feeling good about the drizzle, about the brilliant beads of water on the cabs going too fast down Prince, on the delicate ends of the oak branches as you cross Elizabeth, on the chain-link mesh as you move across the street…Down dark, windswept hallways, across empty public spaces, past vanished water-tasting stations and stopped-up springs, along oily waterways littered with rusting barges and sleeping gulls, down abandoned subway tunnels and the sparking guts of disused power stations: into the second New York. The one in which a heartbeat is at best a temporary anomaly, a troubling aftershock, an instance of unanswerable deja vu. Which is much bigger than the first, and is for the most part, in your current condition, inaccessible to you, you think, although sometimes, like sitting in the bar drifting, or lying on your bed surrounded by lights and strangers, you can catch a glimpse.

I’ve always love that idea of the city as this living, heavily breathing entity, existing totally independently of its human parasites. And, being substantially more familiar with New York than Prague, I can say that Hunt is dead on with his description of the city’s schizophrenia. Or secret identity. Whatever. Which leads me to believe that Ajvaz is too, and makes me want to take advantage of affordable plane tickets to Europe to check out this eerie city of his.

Behind the Scenes / 12 Comments
June 15th, 2009 / 10:42 pm

Less time consuming than Moby-Dick or War and Peace. More colorful than Ocho Cinco.

greatauthorsI’m currently sitting on my parents couch in an undisclosed location in South Jersey. It’s 7am on Saturday, and I’m awake because my folks are both teachers and wake up, even on their days off and summer vacations, at painfully early hours. Since, when I come to their house, I opt to sleep on the couch in front of their flat screen TV and soak in the cable I don’t have in New York, they usually wake me up too. It’s worth it, I think, although I’m still a bit groggy. Now I don’t have to move much in order to turn on cartoons or Rocky IV, which I think I saw On Demand. But this place of rest also gives me a chance to continue reading a fun series from Harper Perennial called Fifty Two Stories, where those guys pair short works from great authors (Tolstoy, Cather, Melville, etc) with a piece from a lesser known contemporary acolyte of the form (our beloved Dennis Cooper has a story paired with Stephen Crane). I’m through Tolstoy and most of the Dostoyevsky, and I have to say that it’s a nice way to run through some iconic authors, most known to casual readers as writers of epically longer works, that I probably wouldn’t get around to any time soon. Hell, it’s worth $10 cover price just to see Fyodor’s dour, existentially pockmarked visage on the cover. Guy looks seriously bummed out about life. Someone get him a Dippin’ Dots.

Uncategorized / 21 Comments
June 13th, 2009 / 7:33 am

The Onion has still got it

new-terminator-headshot-rarticle

Although the sole film made from Salinger’s work, My Foolish Heart, based on his short story “Uncle Wiggily In Connecticut,” was considered by Salinger to be such a bastardization of his prose that he never agreed to another adaptation, he now states that “if McG wants to do any of my stuff—’A Perfect Day For Bananafish’; Raise High The Roof Beam, Carpenters; hell, all of Nine Stories—he has my complete permission. Anything. Anything he wants.”

Read it all here, and deal with how comparatively unfunny we truly are.

Power Quote / 5 Comments
June 8th, 2009 / 4:23 pm

The kick-ass author of God Says No, James Hannaham, reads tonight at BookCourt. I spoke to the gent about his book and, I guess, the unintended racism of my bookshelf.

Birthday buddies

hot_to_trotI was just checking the first part of a forthcoming graphic biography of Trotsky titled, I guess, Trotsky. It’s by Rick Geary and comes out, of course, in October. I was just reading about the anniversary of Tiananmen in the news, and am also making my way through this sprawling and accessible history by Archie Brown called The Rise and Fall of Communism—so a Trotsky comic book seems to fit right in with my reading arc at the moment. I’m hoping for something along the lines of Chester Brown’s awwweeesssommme Louis Riel, but I doubt anything can touch that, at least in terms of graphic bios. Before terrorism there was communism. Think about it.

Web Hype / 6 Comments
June 4th, 2009 / 6:53 pm

New bookstore in Fort Greene

library_of_alexandria

Greenlight Bookstore. Deal with it. Well, except for you, Jimmy Chen. You don’t have to deal with this at all. What’s the first book you’ll buy there, Brooklyn people?

Web Hype / 18 Comments
June 3rd, 2009 / 3:51 pm