On Hating Thomas Pynchon…
Over at New York Magazine, Sam Anderson expresses all my major feelings re Thomas Pynchon, more or less exactly as I feel them. (link via Rumpus.)
I should not, probably, hate Thomas Pynchon. He is an indisputably, uniquely gifted genius who shares artistic DNA with almost all my favorite writers (Joyce, Barthelme, DeLillo, et al). Basic demographics and taste-algorithms suggest, in fact, that I should be a full-fledged Pynchon groupie, the kind of guy who names all his hamsters Slothrop and slaps W.A.S.T.E. stickers on the windows of his local post office. But I can’t help it. My distaste is visceral, involuntary, and preconscious—a spasm of my aesthetic immune system. While I fully appreciate Pynchon in the abstract, as a literary-historical juggernaut—a necessary bridge from, say, Nabokov (with whom he studied at Cornell) to David Foster Wallace—sitting down with one of his actual books makes my eyebrows start to smolder. I find him tedious, shallow, monotonous, flippant, self-satisfied, and screamingly unfunny. I hate his aesthetic from floor to ceiling…
Why Fellner Removed His ALC Post
For those still interested in the ALC/Fellner story, I spoke with Steve Fellner over the phone on Saturday. I want to share his side (with his permission) regarding why he took down the original post that vehemently condemned Seth Abramson’s MFA application consulting firm.
Fellner Speaks
I’m a little late on this, but if you’ve not already seen it, Fellner’s “Final Words About the ‘Firm'” has been posted.
Abramson posted another long response, saying of HTMLGIANT
(unfortunately it may be the least constructive, on the whole, of the dialogues out there, largely because at least one recipient is continuing to insist that I threatened to sue Steve Fellner; I guess Steve and I will have to agree–jointly–to disagree with her on that)
I’ll also update the original HTMLGIANT post with links to other discussions as I find them.
Abramson Leslie Consulting v. Steve Fellner
Recently, and just in time for the fall application season, Abramson Leslie Consulting opened for business with a domain registered to GoDaddy and a serious-looking website. The firm calls itself “the first-ever consulting firm designed exclusively for applicants to Master of Arts (M.A.), Master of Fine Arts (M.F.A.), and doctorate (Ph.D.) in Creative Writing Programs.”
Shortly thereafter, poet Steve Fellner posted a critique of Abramson Leslie Consulting(ALC), saying it “seems corrupt,” “is evil,” and “is pure greed.” C. Dale Young and Eduardo C. Corral, among others, linked to Fellner’s post.
Several hours later, Fellner removed the post for “legal issues” (and today he removed the post that said he had removed the post for legal issues).
Given the recent controversy here at HTMLGIANT, I have to say that what worries me about the Fellner thing is that, due to some “legal issues,” whatever those were, Fellner decided to delete his criticism of ALC; fortunately, this was an ineffective, though no less meaningful act, as the post is still widely available online (not Fellner’s fault). Thanks to Google, you may read Fellner’s post, titled “Why a Creative Writing ‘Firm’ May be the Most Unethical Entity in the Literary Community At Large,” in your Google Reader – simply follow Fellner’s blog, Pansy Poetics, and the post will show up in the feed. (Update: the Google cache snapshot is no longer accessible.) Here’s a tidbit from Fellner’s post, in which he questions the firm’s basic concept:
Or am I reading this “under construction” website wrong? Am I supposed to read this as a parody? As a satire of the idea that one should ethically manipulate their art to receive possible help from other poets and fiction writers? Is the firm also broadly mocking Kaplan Education Centers? Where students pay a tidy fee to improve their test scores? Where test scores are considered to be the measure of excellence? Is the firm ridiculing the inherent nature of MFA programs? That within colleges, institutions that offer grades, art is something that be measured and assessed with perfunctory, mechanical accuracy?
I’d really be interested to know more details on the legal issues behind Fellner’s removing his post.
Now direct your attention to the latest post about ALC at Seth Abramson’s blog. If you’d like to read the whole thing, go ahead. But I’ll just quote the last bit for you:
what we (the eight souls presently committed to ALC) are doing not only comes with a long line of precedent both within the poetry community and without, but adheres to our own–and any–standard of business ethics, personal ethics, and the ethics of being members of a community where just finding the community, i.e. a genuine sense of community, in the first place sometimes seems impossible. And with all the gossip and nonsense on the blogs these days–the non-reality-based analyses, the cruel attacks, the rubber-necking/flame-fanning, and the scurrilous presumptions and accusations–it’s no wonder a young writer would be looking somewhere other than the blogosphere for some help, advice, support, guidance, and honesty. Such things are in short supply these days, and those who try to give them don’t fare any better in the gossip mill, it sometimes seems, than those who sole contribution to this community is to do all they can to burn it down.
I have more to say on this, but haven’t the time to articulate it intelligently, so for now I’ll just leave it at that.
Feel free to discuss.
Update: follow Daniel Nester, No Tell Motel, and Elisa Gabbert for more discussion.
Update: Thanks to Corey Spaley for pointing us to this post at Abramson’s blog, in which Abramson states he did not email Steve Fellner.
Index of Poetry Slam Looks
I’ve always been fascinated by all the hand and body gestures employed in the reading of slam poetry. Slam poetry’s cultural rhetoric is often that of political disenfranchisement and harsh urban experience, so there’s a certain indignation which at times feels, to me, insincere. But hey, I’m a middle-class wounded narcissist, so there. What follows are my theories about what each gesture and/or overall gestalt means.
I. THE “LET ME TELL YOU HOW IT FEELS TO ME” LOOK
Here, the poet points at himself — kind of like “extreme first person,” where self-absorption is interpreted as introspection. This guy is probably saying: I just got back from Hawaii / where I gots this shirt bitch/ thems Hawaiian’s ain’t down with us black folks/ pacific ocean demotion y’alls.
This is Why Everyone Hates You, Asshole: Starbucks Edition
Let’s be honest. In the scheme of things, Starbucks is a fairly benign corporate citizen. Sure, their union record sucks, and they run local businesses under, but on a variety of other issues–wages, environment, fair trade coffee–they’re somewhere between middling and decent, and they produce a variety of quality products that people actually want. So why does everyone hate them so much? Well in NYC, there’s almost no single Starbucks from which you cannot see another Starbucks. It’s sickening. They run local businesses out, and then all you’re left with is their Borg-like monoculture with its idiotic patois and 2k calorie frozen drinks. Now, however, Starbucks is trying to go back the other way, by testing out new Baudrillardian nightmare stores that will simulate all aspects of local indie coffee shops, from faux-hip furniture and art, to the branding on their in-store products. The Rumpus got the story from the Seattle Times, and I got it from them. The shift, essentially, is from Borg to Cylon.
The ubiquitous coffee-shop giant is dropping the household name from its 15th Avenue East store on Capitol Hill, a shop that was slated to close at one point last year but is being remodeled in Starbucks’ new rustic, eco-friendly style. It will open next week, the first of at least three remodeled Seattle-area stores that will bear the names of their neighborhoods rather than the 16,000-store chain to which they belong. … If the pilot goes well in Seattle, it could move to other markets. … Those who can capture a sense of community and offer consumers a compelling experience will win in the long run, said Michelle Barry, senior vice president of the market-research firm Hartman Group in Bellevue.
(Boldface is mine.) The article then goes on to detail how a bunch of Starbucks suits spent several months sitting in local coffee shops, not buying anything, but taking notes on decor and operations. How fucking evil is that? Seriously. Their policy is literally to target the market of people who are making a concerted effort to buy local, and then trick those people into sending their money out of said community, back to Starbucks. I don’t think you need to be a ski-masked anti-globalization activist to read this article and instantly think brick.
Dear Starbucks, When you do shit like this, all the other good(ish) stuff you do stops mattering. You’re like a child-rapist who donates a lot of money to the fight against cancer. It’s like, yeah, thanks for that, but still–this thing with the child-raping. Anyway, this is why everyone hates you. Asshole.
Sorry Benjamin Kunkel.
The insular, dramatic affirmations just don’t cut it this time.
Speaking from my experience, the internet (lowercase ‘i’) is what lead me to the serious study of literature and philosophy and history. Need I point out how many comprehensive and correct resources there are for said ‘serious’ study? I would use some more time to turn every word in the last sentence into a link for Benjamin and everyone reading this, but my severely addled ADHD brain just won’t let me. I see something shiny. Damn you, Interwebz! And that same ADHD mind is going to pass on your next article, because, hell, there’s so much more pseudo-subsumption to get to.
Fleeced by FC2?
We’ve shit on Narrative Magazine so much that I thought it might be fun to have it go the other way round for once: here’s someone shitting on a press that I really like.
I give you a link to and excerpt from Tim W. Brown’s essay in Preditors and Editors and in the ULA’s Monday Report. The essay, published in 2006, is (hilariously?) titled “FLEECED by FC2: Being an INVESTIGATION into the CONFLICTS of INTEREST and SELF-DEALING that Plague the Publisher FICTION COLLECTIVE 2, with ADDITIONAL OBSERVATIONS on the Academic-Government Complex, Proper Organisational Stewardship, &c.”
Responses?
Excerpt after the break.
Enjoy!
On advertising
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru5gTxAy0L0
The Rumpus editor Stephen Elliott (excerpted introduction to their first monthly Rumpus) at the Make Out Room in San Francisco last night.
Commentary after the break.
Last book I loathed
I have really enjoyed reading through the Rumpus list of writers talking about their favorite books. Sometimes surprising, occasionally illuminating and eminently useful. And you know, it has been said by some that if you don’t have something good to say, you shouldn’t say it at all. Maybe. My Manichean outlook, however, demands that likewise a list of the last books that attentive readers absolutely despised would be an equally fruitful enterprise. I know we’re all about positivity here, but I, for one, would appreciate some timely warnings of books that will, if I’m not careful, make me bleed out of my eyes and rend my bathroom slippers in agony. The three least awesome books I’ve read recently are these:
1) The Hour I First Believed, by Wally Lamb: I’m still dealing with the aftermath of this nearly 1,000 page bucket of swill. The Oprah-adored author uses the Columbine massacre as a jumping off point for his emotionally manipulative, clichéd slop bucket of senseless tragedy.
2) The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel: I guess I just have a problem with books that demand a lot of my time and page-turning energy and don’t give anything but poop in return. Littel’s controversial novel of a sadistic, intellectual S.S. officer making his way through the various theaters and meat grinders of World War 2 seems like the type of thing I’d be into. Not so! The flat and unlovely prose (maybe what you’d expect of a book written by a Nazi bureaucrat) is only to be outdone by the author’s obsession with feces.
3) Break It Down, by Lydia Davis: Blasphemy! I kind of liked The End of the Story, and, to a lesser extent, Varieties of Disturbance, but this one just didn’t do it for me. For every story I liked, there were three or four that made me want to quit reading forever.
What books do you hate?