Buy Nothingness Day
Adbusters’ Buy Nothing Day, the symbolic commercial day after thanksgiving, passed again in futility. There’s something sadly ironic about a bunch of socialist Canadian intellectuals trying to brand anti-ads to people immune to marketing, and wondering why no one listens. One day, when people study this civilization, the Wal-Mart clerk being trampled to death by shoppers will be read as an allegory of our deep social pathologies.
Not trying to get too existential on your ass, but we are somewhat fucked, so I am hereby launching HTMLGIANT’s Buy Nothingness Day, everyday for the next year. What better way to blend free-market ‘choice’ with the thick vacuum of ontological negation?
Come on people, jump in the Seine.
Mean Mondays: Semantic Help
A lot of terms get thrown around in this literary world, and people get confused. The following guide shall clarify once and for all the meaning of these terms.
“Sell out” vs. “Sold out”
‘Sold out’ means that the inventory of a book has been depleted, which is generally considered a good thing. It means that ‘the public’ likes you, and that your voice is ‘evocative’ and perhaps even ‘consequentially irrevocable.’ If you make 3 chapbooks and they ‘sold out’ to your mom, roommate, and best friend, your voice is not consequentially irrevocable, but a faint whine in the distance. ‘Sell out’ is a word less successful people use to denote someone who has experienced more success. This term implicates that the ‘sell out’ is a morally deficient person who, instead of the noble march towards truth (i.e. incomprehensible manuscripts), has opted to reap the rewards of a populist/philistine mentality (i.e. comprehensible manuscripts).
“Friends” vs. “Real Friends”
‘Friends’ is what you call somebody you don’t know who has contacted you by email, instant message, or via blog comments. The hyper-mediated ‘online’ experience of these friendships often feel better than real friendships, because in the latter, one has to deal with body odor, dandruff, and other aggravating physiological vicinities. It’s like porn vs. actual sex. Online friends are photoshopped, a blank canvas of fantasy.
“Upload” vs. “Load”
‘Upload’ is to save a file (jpeg, gif, doc, mpeg, etc) onto a server so that others can retrieve it either by ‘downloading’ it, or simply viewing it as an embedded file in a browser. “Load” functions as a prefix or suffix, as in ‘load of shit’ or ‘you are such a fat load’ (respectively). Keep in mind, overlaps do happen: A ‘fat load of shit’ often ‘uploads’ word docs into submission engines while emo music plays in the background. There is no hope for you.
“Editor” vs. “Dickwad”
I am an avid (rabid?) submitter. Once I write a story (often before proof-reading) I ‘blast’ it out to six or so journals. This is the result of a rare mixture of shamelessness, boredom, and narcissism. Now and then, 3 months later, an ‘editor’ writes back and says things like “the story doesn’t go anywhere, you are a mere stylist,” or worse, “thank you for your submission, but due to the large amount of submissions we get, we only had time to write this cruel and condescending letter.” A ‘dickwad’ is a ‘wad’ of something (usually semen-saturated toilet paper) which is dry-crusted to said ‘dick’ in a non-aesthetically compelling fashion. It is often difficult to distinguish an ‘editor’ and a ‘dickwad.’
“Bio” vs. “Autobiography”
A ‘bio’ should be about 2 or 3 lines. It should include five or less publications, the geographic location of the writer, and a link to a website. It is okay, however uninteresting, to include the names of children, pets, and spouses. An ‘autobiography’ is about 400 pages, detailing every small minutia of your desperate-for-fame life. When you include your ‘bio’ with a submission or publication, be sure to include your ‘bio’ and not your ‘autobiography.’
“Nepotism” vs. “Networking”
‘Nepotism’ is when your father or uncle (it’s a patriarchal term, hence the gender bias) uses his leverage within an institution to either secure a position or procure a benefit/material to you within said institution. For example, that Trump Jr. is the Vice President of Trump Corporation is an example of nepotism. Paris Hilton, while her funds are derived from the Hilton Enterprise, is not a nepotist as much as a cunt. ‘Networking’ is contemporary nepotism without the genealogy. For example, that I am a contributing writer for this pale green blog is an example of ‘networking.’
Stalking Sessions Revealed
Shane Jones wrote a post on his blog about who he thought had a job, who he thought didn’t, and who he didn’t know. It interested me a good deal, because I think we all passively ‘stalk’ one another without actually contacting each other. Of course, there are bloggers who become friends, but for the most part, we only have an abstract idea of people—abstractions which are enabled by this ‘virtual’ internet medium.
I thought it would be fun to tell you what I think I know about certain characters’ personal lives in this nearing incestuous lit blogosphere. One disclaimer: in writing this post, I have not done any research (i.e. checking their blogger profile for stats, etc.). The following information is solely based on my perception of these people based on aggregated passive stalking sessions via blogspot, flickr, facebook, etc. Again, these are all conjectures, except for when I state a fact.
Ryan Manning
I have a feeling Ryan either ‘gets a lot of chicks,’ or is a weird virgin. His relationships with females seem like they would be intense. He lives in Virginia and has a lot of time.
Brandon Scott Gorrell
Brandon lives in Seattle, and used to be a dork. Now he’s a hipster (I use this word neutrally) because his hair is shaped funny. He recently got a girlfriend, who I think is ‘hot,’ because when a man is very talented, he increases his chance of getting hot females. Brandon uses a PC.
Shane Jones
Shane posted an mpeg touring his house, in upstate NY. There was a cat, which is not surprising because Shane is sensitive. His blogroll is female only, and I think he’s making a political point. I think he probably has a girlfriend, and that he’s a considerate lover. He has some politically progressive job because right before the election, he had to go somewhere.
Blake Butler
Blake lives in Atlanta Georgia, which he’s always bitching about (people in the south are very vocal that they don’t like it there). I think he has a girlfriend. I haven’t seen any pictures of his room or home, but I have a feeling it’s a total mess.
Tao Lin
A lot of this everyone knows, because Tao is so open with his life: he lives in Brooklyn, is vegan, and works at a vegan café, I think. He used to live in Florida. As for his personal life, I think a lot of strange women are severely attracted to him, but I think it’s hard to get into a relationship with Tao because he’s a) very busy, and b) very intense.
Justin Taylor
I think Justin and Tao were roommates, or still are. I don’t know much about Justin, because he doesn’t blog (except at HTMLgiant) and his website just lists his projects. He exudes ‘intellectual.’
Ken Baumann
Ken is an actor. I’ve youtubed the show he’s on, about a teenage girl. I’ve also seen him in Audi commercials. Ken is ‘young’ and his tone is mature. I think he’s loaded, like has a big swimming pool that no one goes into.
Mark Baumer
Mark, of everydayyeah, used to live in Minnesota, and moved to LA. He helps edit Thieves Jargon. I don’t know anything about him other than that.
Aaron Burch/Elizabeth Ellen
I think they are married, or at least going out. I don’t know where they live, but I think it’s either Ohio, Indiana, or Iowa—like not in a big city. I know that they really like Bourbon and poker. I group Barry Graham with them because they know each other.
Barry Graham
Barry Graham could totally kick your ass, not because he has any martial arts skills, but just because he’s really large. Barry isn’t ‘artsy’ the way most people here are, and I like that.
Claudia Smith & Lydia Coupland
I group these two together because I think they are friends. Also, they are ‘the moms.’ A lot of their fiction involves being a mom.
Mazie Louise Montgomery
I know for a fact that’s not her real name, and anyone who was involved in the online lit world pre-2004 will recognize her real name, which I’m not going to disclose out of respect.
Mazie is obviously depressed. I think she has strange affairs with older men. She works at a library.
Zachary German
Zachary used to live in Pennsylvania and moved to Brooklyn because the former state could not contain his hipsterness. He’s gay and obsessed with food. He takes glamour shots with Ellen Frances, who is a NYC Warhol type of person who calls people she likes ‘geniuses.’ She is beautiful and I am sexually attracted to her.
Ellen Kennedy
I thought Ellen Kennedy and Elizabeth Ellen were the same people for the longest time because of the shared ‘Ellen.’ Ellen Kennedy is depressed and recently went ‘crazy,’ like literally institutionalized (she talks about it on her blog, so I don’t think I’m stepping on any toes.) She took ‘major ass’ pictures of forests for awhile, so I think the mental facility was in thick woods.
Scott Garson
Scott Garson edits Wigleaf, and I think he’s a dad. I saw a picture of him with long hair (down to the butt) and it seems he used to be some Pynchon obsessed literary ‘freak,’ and now he’s more normal.
Mike Young
Mike used to live in Portland, and now lives in Massachusetts. He sings well and plays guitar, kinda of a Jeff Tweedy way. I think he’s an honest good guy who sometimes gets depressed. He likes taking road trips, in that Kerouac way.
Sam Pink
Sam Pink is not his real name. He mailed me a chapbook from Indiana, I think. I have a feeling he is older, maybe 32 or something. I think his fiction is ‘real’ in the sense that he is utterly alone and abandoned, but despite his 1st person narrator, he doesn’t act like an asshole. Sam Pink is probably a pervert.
Colin Bassett
Colin lives in Indiana I think. He takes a lot of pictures looking outside windows from inside, and I think that’s a concept for him. He’s very effeminate, but I think he’s straight. He’s very thin because he’s often too detached to eat. He goes to the library often. I think he’s single, but somehow not lonely. He seems mature.
Noah Cicero
Noah lives in Ohio, that is very apparent. Somehow he has a whole house to himself, where he just shouts into the camera all the time. I think Noah thinks he’s Dostoyevsky. He is into politics and speaks in a manner which is not consistent with his high intelligence.
Gene Morgan
Gene recently became a dad. I think he lives around Texas, only because he does the website for Nano, which is some university in Texas’ creative writing journal. Gene, Barry, and Noah are like the ‘men,’ in the sense that all the other males on this list are sort of effeminate, in a literary Rilke/Proust kind of way.
Matthew Savoca & Colin Bassett
I group these two because they are in Europe. Matthew is in Italy, and Colin is in UK—though Matthew is an American expatriate and Colin is actually English. They are both thin and talented. I suspect they both get chicks.
Molly Gaudry
Molly is ‘new’ to this scene. I think she’s either Asian, Hapa, or Southeast Asian (which is Asian I guess). For those who don’t know, Hapa is when you’re any percent Asian. Like if your great grand mother had sex with a man who was ¼ Thai, you’d be hapa.
Ryan Call
I haven’t really followed Ryan Call. I don’t know, it’s like ‘Call’ is a very boring last name and I unfairly assume that he’s boring. He publishes in great print journals and has an interesting sister. I wish his name was Ryan Louvet Mallester, then I would become obsessed.
Matthew Simmons
Matthew Simmons lives in Seattle, and I wonder if he knows Brandon. Matthew works at a bookstore and I imagine him having a lot of hair, especially on his face.
Catherine Lacey
I saw some footage of Catherine brushing her teeth in the subway (NYC), and I think it was either an ‘art project’ or she wanted to have interesting material to post on her blog. Her name is sexy. I think all the NYC people hang out, or at least go to readings together. I saw footage of their behavior ‘in public’ and felt that I would be irritated if I met them in person.
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I hope nobody is offended, or thought that I was being sarcastic about them. I’ve just been a little obsessed about all of you.
There are still some who I am obsessed about, but I got too tired typing. If you weren’t included in this list, I’m not being elitist, I’m just tired and want you to know that I’m probably obsessed about you too.
Eyeshot’s Readerly Resonance Chamber
Lee Klein, an official HTMLGIANT massive person, under the pseudonym ‘Throop Roebling,’ has been writing reviews of books and music (in his ‘upon listening’ series) sporadically in eyeshot for sometime. Throop has also been known to publish amazing stories in eyeshot, no doubt nepotism, especially this (mock?) homage to the last chapter in Ulysses.
Anyways, Klein has unmasked himself (or at least I am right now) with eyeshot’s new “Readerly Resonance Chamber,” wherein the vigorous writer peruses and pursues a handful of books. Klein has a meaty way with words, and thoughts, and I can’t wait for more. My reading list just swelled, and comparing myself to Klein, my brain just shrunk.
Uncategorized / 15 Comments
November 19th, 2008 / 1:07 pm
November 19th, 2008 / 1:07 pm
MLP: 3 Reviews
I got the second batch of Mud Luscious Press chapbooks today, and read them excitedly. J.A. Tyler (editor) chose bright neon colors which, for me, reflected a certain kind of synthetic violence I found to be a unifying factor.
Rat Beast by Nick Antosca
[Spoil alert] This piece starts off fairly ‘normal,’ a first person narrative about a dour kid turned teenager having trouble at school. A Huxleyian counselor enters with treatment alternatives, the final of which takes a rather grotesque Kafkian turn (two name-drops, sorry), towards the eponymous animal. The ending is even more evocative due to the well-handled restraint in the writing.
Patience by Brandi Wells
A man carves the female reproductive system in the rind of an orange, creating a fetus in place of the fruit. At one point he “carves a fist beside the labia,” an allusion (in my sick mind at least) to fisting, or at least the manual ways women’s bodies are altered by patriarchal ideals (I’m so gay). Wells describes fallopian tubes wrapping around blades of glass and ants eating them; a kind of abortion detritus. J.A. Tyler plays well with the physical page break, embracing the most precious (bad word!) moment of the story.
In the Rape Year of the Ghetto Toddler the Houses Will Awaken by Blake Butler
To try to understand the title is to try to understand Butler’s writing, and I mean that in a good way. Butler is concerned with ideas, themes, and language–and how those three things cook down into meaning. He doesn’t explain it; but describes it, and he trusts the reader and himself enough to know that, through the thick confusion and minor nausea, his writing will be intuitively understood, and more importantly, viscerally manifested. Herein, rabbits live in bacon-greased arm sockets, wallpaper patterns dent cheeks, and a man is on vacation his whole life. Unabashed controlled chaos. Through the surrealism, I always get the feeling that Butler is talking about something less metaphysical, and more actual: an America today that might cause one to dry heave.
On a formal note, J.A. Tyler is marking MLP chapbooks with a signature ampersand in place of all ‘and.’
& it rocks.
New at My Name is Mud
New writing at My Name is Mud by familiars and faves Brandon Scott Gorrell, Kendra Grant Malone, Brandi Wells and Colin Bassett; and also Alex Rettie, Chris McSween, Mike Sikkema, Terry Deeks.
I like this sentence from Colin alot, something about the cadence and reverse thinking: “There were a lot of other people around them who were not living on the rock.”
I also like this sentence from Brandi: “the people inside got older without living.” Some of that reverse thinking again (a contradiction which is implied or actual). Brandi’s bio pic shows her doing something weird with a slinky. To be a successful writer, one must have weird bio pics.
I think ‘My Name is Mud’ was taken from the Primus song. That’s cool, though If someone started a journal called ‘Symphony No. 40 in G minor’ or ‘Baby Got Back’ I would think, ‘pretentious prick.’
Good stuff people. Good job Adam.
Uncategorized / 12 Comments
November 13th, 2008 / 3:54 pm
November 13th, 2008 / 3:54 pm
Sidebrow Anthology Available
Sidebrow’s inaugural print anthology is available now, including such notables as: Kim Chinquee, Brain Evenson, Norman Lock, and Derek White.
Sidebrow is ‘lightly affiliated’ with Fourteen Hills, which is San Francisco State University’s journal from their creative writing program.
It’s funny because they disappeared for a couple of years (in that ‘hiatus’ turns into ‘defunct’ lit journal kinda way) and I was really surprised that they were going through and actually making a print run. Their website is odd–they do this interactive and project-based thing which I don’t really understand.
Not trying to be modest, but my story in it was written some years ago and not very strong, but hey, I gave a secret-handshake which involved surgical gloves and the editor’s prostrate.
Uncategorized / 9 Comments
November 7th, 2008 / 3:23 pm
November 7th, 2008 / 3:23 pm
HTML GIANT MARKETING CAMPAIGN
In effort to increase unique daily visitors (and I’m not talking about in-call escort services), HTML GIANT will be employing tactics used by the following masters of marketing. It is our hope to usurp these kings of literature/publishing.
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[To do list]: Become vegan, get ‘severely depressed,’ attract ‘emotionally traumatized’ ‘females’ to make t-shirts and short ‘films,’ strive towards a ‘detached yet ultimately life-affirming’ philosophy, decrease pain and suffering, change font to ‘helvetica.’
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[To do list]: Use exclamation points to convey enthusiasm! Sometimes three!!! And fragmented sentences. Like this. Use quirky/informal language to describe institutional matters: “we really like the internet, we even use our server as a lunch table, and we spilled fanta on it.”
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[To do list]: Help shape Malcolm Gladwell’s fro, send writers to France or the Middle East, advertise Prada and Chevron on the back cover, incinerate slush-pile daily, publish anal instead of annal, insert subscription postcards every other page.
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[To do list]: Google ourselves every day hoping to be mentioned on some blog.
Fou No. 2
The second issue of Fou is up. I’ve never seen a website that conceptualized the innate scrolling aspect of the internet so well. The entire issue is on the main index page, braced by a rather tall tree. One immediately scrolls down, having nowhere to click. Various animals reside on segments of the tree. One reaches a cluster of birds, each marked with a writer’s name. A click on a bird throws you off a branch, falling virtually, to each respective poem.
This sounds annoying, the way many journals are self-suffocated under flash and other cumbersome scripts, but there’s something light, intuitive, and fresh about this.
Brad Soucy, who I assume is the designer, has taken a usually boring trait (scrolling) and transcended its medium into something viscerally evokative.
(Btw: if you try to view this in internet explorer, you have major issues.)
Uncategorized / 16 Comments
November 4th, 2008 / 2:44 pm
November 4th, 2008 / 2:44 pm