October 26th, 2009 / 1:44 pm
Mean

Grammar Lesson: Bridget Jones’s Diary

For my first contribution to Mean Week, I want to address something that bugs the living hell out of me: when attributing singular possessive nouns ending in the letter -s-, nothing changes from the way in which you attribute singular possessive nouns ending in other letters. Just add an apostrophe -s-. That is all. Don’t change anything or do anything differently. This is very, very simple.

For example:

Philip Roth’s novels are boring as fuck.
Ben Marcus’s novels are fun.

You see how I did that?

I did not write: Ben Marcus’ novels are fun.
[Because that doesn’t make any sense – Ben Marcus is one dude, not plural dudes.]

I also did not write: Ben Marcu’s novels are fun.
[Because that makes no sense. His name is Marcus, not Marcu.]

Not sure why so many people are incapable of understanding this simple punctuation, but I notice these mistakes occurring  all the time — and it drives me bonkers!

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77 Comments

  1. Ken Baumann

      Strunk & White should be mandatory at 10.

  2. Ken Baumann

      Strunk & White should be mandatory at 10.

  3. Ryan Call

      chris, i am guilty of doing this. i have since learned my lesson. thank you.

  4. Ryan Call

      chris, i am guilty of doing this. i have since learned my lesson. thank you.

  5. Nathan Tyree

      The standard rule states that you should omit the final ‘s’ when adding it would make pronunciation difficult. Examples:

      Jesus’
      Moses’
      Marcus’

      In each of the cases, the addition of the terminal ‘s’ causes the tongue to slip on the word.

  6. Nathan Tyree

      The standard rule states that you should omit the final ‘s’ when adding it would make pronunciation difficult. Examples:

      Jesus’
      Moses’
      Marcus’

      In each of the cases, the addition of the terminal ‘s’ causes the tongue to slip on the word.

  7. Ryan Call

      yeah thats why i was doin it before.

  8. Ryan Call

      yeah thats why i was doin it before.

  9. Christopher Higgs

      I think what you have pointed out here is a problem of parole not langue.

      By that I mean: when speaking, punctuation dissolves into subjective interpretation – so, what you say might make sense in terms of speech; but with writing, the absence of the -s- following the apostrophe makes no sense. (All Deleuzian multiplicities aside, Jesus is one dude not many dudes – thus singular rather than plural – thus apostrophe -s-.)

  10. Christopher Higgs

      I think what you have pointed out here is a problem of parole not langue.

      By that I mean: when speaking, punctuation dissolves into subjective interpretation – so, what you say might make sense in terms of speech; but with writing, the absence of the -s- following the apostrophe makes no sense. (All Deleuzian multiplicities aside, Jesus is one dude not many dudes – thus singular rather than plural – thus apostrophe -s-.)

  11. Nathan Tyree

      I understand. It’s just that punctuation is a guide to Pronunciation. The two are, in a way, married. It is considered correct to write:

      Jesus’ shoes were green.

      The reason for the special dispensation in this case is one of ease of Pronounciation. As such, the same special status should be given in all cases where the extra ‘s’ would cause the tongue to slip. I suppose that we could write jesus’s but say jesus’ and all issues would vanish. But that seems a bit too French.

  12. Nathan Tyree

      I understand. It’s just that punctuation is a guide to Pronunciation. The two are, in a way, married. It is considered correct to write:

      Jesus’ shoes were green.

      The reason for the special dispensation in this case is one of ease of Pronounciation. As such, the same special status should be given in all cases where the extra ‘s’ would cause the tongue to slip. I suppose that we could write jesus’s but say jesus’ and all issues would vanish. But that seems a bit too French.

  13. Nathan Tyree

      Of course, maybe I’m being contrarian because it’s mean week

  14. Nathan Tyree

      Of course, maybe I’m being contrarian because it’s mean week

  15. davidpeak

      writing for elocution is so passay

  16. davidpeak

      writing for elocution is so passay

  17. jensen

      good post. this bugs me to. i think the religious/biblical names are an exception. jesus’ is correct. at least according to strunk & white. and denis johnson. but it is not correct to say jones’ or charles’ or whatever. there the possessive is still always formed by adding apostrophe s. i don’t know why.

  18. jensen

      good post. this bugs me to. i think the religious/biblical names are an exception. jesus’ is correct. at least according to strunk & white. and denis johnson. but it is not correct to say jones’ or charles’ or whatever. there the possessive is still always formed by adding apostrophe s. i don’t know why.

  19. Adam R

      So Roland Barthes’ contention would be Roland Barthes’s contention?

  20. Adam R

      So Roland Barthes’ contention would be Roland Barthes’s contention?

  21. Jimmy Chen

      chris higgs’ ass is gaping

  22. Jimmy Chen

      chris higgs’ ass is gaping

  23. Molum Haggis

      Note the possibility of a theological grammar: Jesus is God, God is a trinity, therefore Jesus is a multiplicity.

      Also:
      1. Marcu’s looks sweet.
      2. Beauty always trumps semantics.
      3. Q.E.D. Marcu’s is true .

  24. Molum Haggis

      Note the possibility of a theological grammar: Jesus is God, God is a trinity, therefore Jesus is a multiplicity.

      Also:
      1. Marcu’s looks sweet.
      2. Beauty always trumps semantics.
      3. Q.E.D. Marcu’s is true .

  25. alec niedenthal

      dude, chris, you are trying to form a binary between speech and writing here, i.e. privileging writing over speech

      in the spirit of mean week, bad move

  26. alec niedenthal

      dude, chris, you are trying to form a binary between speech and writing here, i.e. privileging writing over speech

      in the spirit of mean week, bad move

  27. Nathan Tyree

      well played, sir

  28. Nathan Tyree

      well played, sir

  29. Nathan Tyree

      case in point

  30. Nathan Tyree

      case in point

  31. Ellen Parker

      I agree with Nathan Tyree. Omitting that final “s” is not always incorrect. It wish it WAS so simple as just always adding that last “s” –but it depends on the pronunciation. The Chicago Manual of Style says to do this: ” for Jesus’ sake.” But, in another case, do this: “Jesus’s contemporaries.” So…would you pronounce it “Jesusiz contemporaries”? I have trouble looking at the title of Denis Johnson’s short story collection, Jesus’ Son. How should you pronounce it? Jesus Son? Or Jesusiz Son? If you would say Jesusiz Son, then the title should be Jesus’s Son. This conundrum prevents me from liking the book as much I might otherwise. I know this is sick. Couldn’t he have called it Son of Jesus? (The Chicago Manual of Style recommends you do this if you can’t decide which option looks and/or sounds “right.” Avoid the possessive and use “of.”) But Son of Jesus just doesn’t have the same impact, does it? Maybe Denis Johnson knew this title would fuck with our heads, and that’s why he used it.

  32. Ellen Parker

      I agree with Nathan Tyree. Omitting that final “s” is not always incorrect. It wish it WAS so simple as just always adding that last “s” –but it depends on the pronunciation. The Chicago Manual of Style says to do this: ” for Jesus’ sake.” But, in another case, do this: “Jesus’s contemporaries.” So…would you pronounce it “Jesusiz contemporaries”? I have trouble looking at the title of Denis Johnson’s short story collection, Jesus’ Son. How should you pronounce it? Jesus Son? Or Jesusiz Son? If you would say Jesusiz Son, then the title should be Jesus’s Son. This conundrum prevents me from liking the book as much I might otherwise. I know this is sick. Couldn’t he have called it Son of Jesus? (The Chicago Manual of Style recommends you do this if you can’t decide which option looks and/or sounds “right.” Avoid the possessive and use “of.”) But Son of Jesus just doesn’t have the same impact, does it? Maybe Denis Johnson knew this title would fuck with our heads, and that’s why he used it.

  33. Nathan Tyree

      I knew there was a reason why I liked you.

  34. Nathan Tyree

      I knew there was a reason why I liked you.

  35. Muzzy

      Just leave it out. S is the worst-sounding, least pleasant letter in English. The fewer of them, the better. It’s bad enough we have to put them at the end of possesives and plurals. But a plural possessive? That is just too much. No, go for the solo apostrophe. The S will live on invisibly, like a sibilant ghost. Don’t worry, everyone will get it. No one will think you’re illiterate. Most importantly, you’ll have saved the earth from one more nasty S.

  36. Nathan Tyree

      I might add that the half-life of an irregular verb squares to its usage frequency. That is, uncommonly used irregular verbs will eventually vanish and be replaced with regular verbs. We can see this happening. This is because the rules of grammar, punctuation, etc are not absolutes (like the rules of mathematics); they are not prescriptive, but merely descriptive. As you decry the “mistake” of forming a singular possessive by adding an apostrophe after the ‘s’ you are merely railing against progress. When enough people give up on Strunk and White’s (often irrational) rules, the common “mistake” will become the rule of proper usage.

      I love mean week!

  37. Muzzy

      Just leave it out. S is the worst-sounding, least pleasant letter in English. The fewer of them, the better. It’s bad enough we have to put them at the end of possesives and plurals. But a plural possessive? That is just too much. No, go for the solo apostrophe. The S will live on invisibly, like a sibilant ghost. Don’t worry, everyone will get it. No one will think you’re illiterate. Most importantly, you’ll have saved the earth from one more nasty S.

  38. Nathan Tyree

      I might add that the half-life of an irregular verb squares to its usage frequency. That is, uncommonly used irregular verbs will eventually vanish and be replaced with regular verbs. We can see this happening. This is because the rules of grammar, punctuation, etc are not absolutes (like the rules of mathematics); they are not prescriptive, but merely descriptive. As you decry the “mistake” of forming a singular possessive by adding an apostrophe after the ‘s’ you are merely railing against progress. When enough people give up on Strunk and White’s (often irrational) rules, the common “mistake” will become the rule of proper usage.

      I love mean week!

  39. Christopher Higgs

      I got no love for Strunk & White, Nathan. My complaint is based on the fact that my name ends in an -s- and it hurts my tiny pink heart when I see it manhandled thusly.

  40. Christopher Higgs

      I got no love for Strunk & White, Nathan. My complaint is based on the fact that my name ends in an -s- and it hurts my tiny pink heart when I see it manhandled thusly.

  41. Christopher Higgs

      Oh Molum, how it pleases me to see you posit the Deleuzian nature of G-D. Also, you know i cannot argue against aestheticism — you have cornered me. Blast!

  42. Christopher Higgs

      Oh Molum, how it pleases me to see you posit the Deleuzian nature of G-D. Also, you know i cannot argue against aestheticism — you have cornered me. Blast!

  43. Christopher Higgs

      Alec, you are right to call me out on the binary — arrrg…it hurt to go there, and I secretly wished no one would notice.

      My tail is now between my legs, but I still wish people would do the freaking apostrophe -s-!

  44. Christopher Higgs

      Alec, you are right to call me out on the binary — arrrg…it hurt to go there, and I secretly wished no one would notice.

      My tail is now between my legs, but I still wish people would do the freaking apostrophe -s-!

  45. Christopher Higgs

      hahaha. I think you mean George Clooney’s ass is gaping.

  46. Christopher Higgs

      hahaha. I think you mean George Clooney’s ass is gaping.

  47. Clapper

      I was reading this comment without first looking to see who posted it and thinking, “I like this person with their Jesusiz talk. Who is this person?”

  48. Clapper

      I was reading this comment without first looking to see who posted it and thinking, “I like this person with their Jesusiz talk. Who is this person?”

  49. alec niedenthal

      haha sorry if i seemed jerklike, there. we are all fat, heaving sites for binaries anyway. for what it’s worth, i’ve always done the apostrophe -s- the way you suggest/prescribe, and recently i was convinced that it was the wrong way, but now i feel mildly affirmed and do it how i did it before.

  50. alec niedenthal

      haha sorry if i seemed jerklike, there. we are all fat, heaving sites for binaries anyway. for what it’s worth, i’ve always done the apostrophe -s- the way you suggest/prescribe, and recently i was convinced that it was the wrong way, but now i feel mildly affirmed and do it how i did it before.

  51. Sean

      Can a person actually die from yawning?

  52. Sean

      Can a person actually die from yawning?

  53. ce.

      i had a lisp as a child; a couple years ago, i dated a speech pathologist who said my esses were still “slushy;” that’s evidently the real industry term for a slightly lisped ess sound–“slushy.”

      fuck esses.

  54. ce.

      i had a lisp as a child; a couple years ago, i dated a speech pathologist who said my esses were still “slushy;” that’s evidently the real industry term for a slightly lisped ess sound–“slushy.”

      fuck esses.

  55. Ross Brighton

      dito. but it’s not true of Jesus, Aristophanes, Soctates, &c

  56. Ross Brighton

      dito. but it’s not true of Jesus, Aristophanes, Soctates, &c

  57. Ross Brighton

      Word

  58. Ross Brighton

      Word

  59. Ross Brighton

      he couln’t have called it son of Jesus, becuase he’s citng the Velevets – Heroin: “and when the smack begins to run, and I feel just like Jesus’ son/ and i guess but I just don’t know…….”

  60. Ross Brighton

      he couln’t have called it son of Jesus, becuase he’s citng the Velevets – Heroin: “and when the smack begins to run, and I feel just like Jesus’ son/ and i guess but I just don’t know…….”

  61. Daniel Nester

      Actually, according to Strunk and White if the word or name is distinctive enough, it merit *not* using another -s–Jesus’ Son, or Moses’ frumunda sheese, for example. You could make the same argument for Bridget Jones, especially when one considers that second -s will take up space on marquees and book covers and so forth.

      http://www.bartleby.com/141/strunk.html

  62. Daniel Nester

      Actually, according to Strunk and White if the word or name is distinctive enough, it merit *not* using another -s–Jesus’ Son, or Moses’ frumunda sheese, for example. You could make the same argument for Bridget Jones, especially when one considers that second -s will take up space on marquees and book covers and so forth.

      http://www.bartleby.com/141/strunk.html

  63. Daniel Nester

      Oh. People already talked about that. Well, I provided a link. And I hate adding the extra -s. Do we pronounce the move Brid-get Jones-es Diary? No. It melds together. Elides. Elision. The language changes.

      I neglected to add a comma after White in my previous post. I apologize for the error.

  64. Daniel Nester

      Oh. People already talked about that. Well, I provided a link. And I hate adding the extra -s. Do we pronounce the move Brid-get Jones-es Diary? No. It melds together. Elides. Elision. The language changes.

      I neglected to add a comma after White in my previous post. I apologize for the error.

  65. Daniel Nester

      Oh Muzzy. Can I hug you? Or, better yet: can I use “sibilant ghost”?

  66. Daniel Nester

      Oh Muzzy. Can I hug you? Or, better yet: can I use “sibilant ghost”?

  67. Matt Cozart

      “Do we pronounce the move Brid-get Jones-es Diary?”

      I actually do. I pronounce it that way every day.

  68. Matt Cozart

      “Do we pronounce the move Brid-get Jones-es Diary?”

      I actually do. I pronounce it that way every day.

  69. Nathan Tyree

      Well in your case it is obviously Higgs’s

  70. Nathan Tyree

      Well in your case it is obviously Higgs’s

  71. Christopher Higgs

      Yes of course I pronounce it Brid-get Jones-es Diary. The diary belongs to Bridget Jones. How is this even a question? If you pronounce it Brid-get Jones Diary you would sound like a goofball, not to mention the fact that you would not be conveying the same information.

      Some days I feel like I am living in the Twilight Zone.

      Thank heavens for Mean Week.

  72. Christopher Higgs

      Yes of course I pronounce it Brid-get Jones-es Diary. The diary belongs to Bridget Jones. How is this even a question? If you pronounce it Brid-get Jones Diary you would sound like a goofball, not to mention the fact that you would not be conveying the same information.

      Some days I feel like I am living in the Twilight Zone.

      Thank heavens for Mean Week.

  73. Christopher Higgs

      Nathan Tyree, you contrarian, I think Mean Week is having a negative effect on you.

  74. Christopher Higgs

      Nathan Tyree, you contrarian, I think Mean Week is having a negative effect on you.

  75. HTMLGIANT / Grammar Lesson: Mom, I’ve decided to get a MFA!

      […] Higgs’ post schooled me on the proper use of the apostrophe after singular nouns that end in ’s’ to show […]

  76. claybanes

      Banes’s peeve. Dropping the possessive s from surnames is a new affectation, like I for me and myself for I. Get used to it.

  77. claybanes

      Banes’s peeve. Dropping the possessive s from surnames is a new affectation, like I for me and myself for I. Get used to it.