January 17th, 2009 / 2:42 pm
Author Spotlight

Shampoo Poetry and Anne Babson

Htmlgiants Mike Young Has A Poem Here

Htmlgiant's Mike Young Has A Poem Here

As you may have noted from earlier posts like this one, I sometimes believe in God and it makes me feel sort of crazy. I talked to my shrink about it recently and he reminded me that most people believe in God. That made me feel less crazy. Then I asked him, but do other people see “signs”? I think he said yes.  I don’t remember. I am hungover and watching hockey. Years ago, I went to a reading in a bar in the East Village. The poet Anne Babson read a very long poem that dealt with her belief in a Christian God and miracles and basically, getting your prayers answered and I think, angels. I was moved at the time (but also thought she was crazy at the time, but now I don’t know if I think she is crazy) and went and walked up to her and bought her book called Counterterrorist Poems (Pudding House Publications). She also has a poem in Shampoo Poetry as does Mike Young. Here is an excerpt from the rather long poem she read that night:

My soul doth magnify the

Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced…

“At first, all the doors were locked. I had to go back up a flight…”

In God My Saviour; for

He hath regarded the low estate of…

“And cross the floor, which was filled with smoke,

to get to another…”

His handmaiden: For behold, from Henceforth all generations…

“…Stairwell. I was able to walk down maybe ten, fifteen flights…”

…Shall call me blessed

For He that is mighty hath done…

“…Before there was another locked door.

There was a crowd waiting…”

To me great things, and holy is

His name. And His mercy is on them…

“For the fire department to unlock it.

I must have been the only one…”

…that fear him from generation to generation,

He hath shown the strength…

“who saw the man who opened a door on the

floor near where I stood,”

…of His arm: He hath scattered the proud in

the imagination of thier hearts.

A man in a suit, very calm, smiling at me.

He said he knew a way out,”

He hath put down the mighty from thier seats,

and exalted them of low degree.

that I should come with him. I was the only

one who followed, and…”

He hath filled the hungry with good things: and

the rich he hath sent empty away.

“...he led me to a stairwell which was open all

The way down. I turned…”

He hath helped His servant Israel, in

remembrance of His mercy; as He…

“to thank him, but he was gone…

Tags: ,

129 Comments

  1. jereme

      old timey

      hi pr! i like that you believe in god and are not afraid to talk about it. you are special like a neon butterfly.

  2. jereme

      old timey

      hi pr! i like that you believe in god and are not afraid to talk about it. you are special like a neon butterfly.

  3. ryan

      i liked this. for some reason it reminded me of a poem by ellen bass. i can’t remember the exact title but it’s something like, “Ode to an Atheist God.” anyway, good post, much enjoyed as always!

  4. ryan

      i liked this. for some reason it reminded me of a poem by ellen bass. i can’t remember the exact title but it’s something like, “Ode to an Atheist God.” anyway, good post, much enjoyed as always!

  5. pr

      thanks you two! You are the sweetest.

  6. Brandon Hobson

      Hi Pr, I very much believe in God and angels. I believe that angels can manifest on Earth and that we can see them at times. I don’t think it’s crazy at all. If you’d like to discuss it more I could send you my email address.

  7. Brandon Hobson

      Hi Pr, I very much believe in God and angels. I believe that angels can manifest on Earth and that we can see them at times. I don’t think it’s crazy at all. If you’d like to discuss it more I could send you my email address.

  8. pr

      Hi Brandon. I just had a great time googling you and read your things on diagram, narrative magazine, smokelong, and 3am. You are great. I also am buying your Ravenna Press book now.
      Thank you for not thinking I’m crazy.
      I’m feeling very shy with you right now, so am too shy to email you. But I will keep you in mind, and contact you if I feel less shy. Do you have a blog?

  9. barry

      thanks for the post pr. i like the poetry and i like you being open about your struggle between belief and disbelief. i have the same struggle inside. i am most impressed by god’s power when he lets little kids starve to death. or when he turns water to wine for the sake of a wedding celebration, that seems like a good miracle. or when i say grace before meals then he lets me eat an extra steak and potato. mmmmmmmm.

  10. barry

      thanks for the post pr. i like the poetry and i like you being open about your struggle between belief and disbelief. i have the same struggle inside. i am most impressed by god’s power when he lets little kids starve to death. or when he turns water to wine for the sake of a wedding celebration, that seems like a good miracle. or when i say grace before meals then he lets me eat an extra steak and potato. mmmmmmmm.

  11. pr

      thanks for appreciating my post, barry.
      i made a rib roast last night (9 pounder) and potato au gratin (with heavy cream, not half and half) and broccoli. I was in heaven. I poured T-Bone TIckler on my steak. It is my latest favorite steak sauce. I also love horseradish, a1 and peter lugar. I ate like a champ. Today, maybe not quite so champy.

  12. ryan

      i didn’t have time to comment fully earlier, but i wanted to say that, i too have dealt with the issue of belief/disbelief for a long time. i grew up in a somewhat religious family, but outside of the christian tradition, i constantly have gone through times of belief and those of utter doubt. i went to a catholic high school, which didn’t help. just when i came to a spot where i felt comfortable with my own level of belief, i was cast out from the religion i was raised in because of marrying someone who was not of the same tradition, and as thus we chose not to have a religious ceremony, opting instead to do our own thing gathering words we felt appropriate and applying them.

      anyway, that’s a long post, but i just wanted to let you know that you are not crazy, and that if you are we all are.

  13. ryan

      i didn’t have time to comment fully earlier, but i wanted to say that, i too have dealt with the issue of belief/disbelief for a long time. i grew up in a somewhat religious family, but outside of the christian tradition, i constantly have gone through times of belief and those of utter doubt. i went to a catholic high school, which didn’t help. just when i came to a spot where i felt comfortable with my own level of belief, i was cast out from the religion i was raised in because of marrying someone who was not of the same tradition, and as thus we chose not to have a religious ceremony, opting instead to do our own thing gathering words we felt appropriate and applying them.

      anyway, that’s a long post, but i just wanted to let you know that you are not crazy, and that if you are we all are.

  14. barry

      “and that if you are we all are.”
      amen.

      pr:
      try heinz 57. thats my favorite.

  15. barry

      “and that if you are we all are.”
      amen.

      pr:
      try heinz 57. thats my favorite.

  16. pr

      Ryan- thank you so much for this comment.
      I got married at city hall and then my husband went to work. we did it for insurance, because i was pregnant. I keep saying I’m going to have a catholic wedding ,and my boys will be his best men at this point. but, I don’t know. I may never. Neither of my boys are baptised, which I think really upsets my father, but he hides his upsetness- he’s a good Christian. Very loving. He lives forgiveness.

      when I believe, it is as God believes in us. Like Flanner O’Connor’s world. Her fiction and letters were my bible for a while. But I am torn with doubt, too. My shrink thinks I need to go to church. He’s Jewish. I am dedicating my first book to him. He knows that.

      You will let me know when you get the books I sent you? I hope you like one of them and i hope you don’t have them all already.

  17. pr

      i have not tried Heinz57 or have I? Is it the fig one? I love all steak sauces. I love steak. I have high cholesteral, sort of. I ate six pieces of bacon this morning. I love bacon, too. Tonight, salad and leftover lasagna?
      Barry, I am going to send you a bottle of T Bone Tickler. No joke.

  18. barry

      pr:

      i like anything with the word tickler in the title, i think.

      i am not nearly as cynical about religion as my comment indicates. i have spent a large part of my life, studying, researching, experiencing, contemplating, religion / spirituality, etc. i have only come to one conclusion. that truth lies in our own perceptions. nothing is absolute.

  19. barry

      pr:

      i like anything with the word tickler in the title, i think.

      i am not nearly as cynical about religion as my comment indicates. i have spent a large part of my life, studying, researching, experiencing, contemplating, religion / spirituality, etc. i have only come to one conclusion. that truth lies in our own perceptions. nothing is absolute.

  20. pr

      that would be what Flannery O’Connor calls “mystery”, barry, the “nothing is absolute” thingy.

  21. barry

      hmmmm. should i revisit her? will i like it? what do you recommend?

      have you ever read kevin keck’s oedipus wrecked? great stuff. his newest one is, hey god its me kevin.

  22. barry

      hmmmm. should i revisit her? will i like it? what do you recommend?

      have you ever read kevin keck’s oedipus wrecked? great stuff. his newest one is, hey god its me kevin.

  23. pr

      I will go google this kevin keck guy. have you heard of a book called, are you there vodka, it’s me chelsea? I think it’s chelsea. Not sure.

      the story of Flannery’s that is fat in my brain is Parker’s Back. Her letters are great. She has a small book of essays called Mystery and Manners but her letters are the bomb. They expain her so well to me.

  24. ryan

      pr,

      my wife is at best agnostic, and i am at worst agnostic, i think would be the best way to describe it. neither of us wanted a “traditional” wedding, and that in and of itself would have been okay, but i also wouldn’t let there be any “god talk” in the ceremony, because i felt like that should not be forced on my wife. that is what got me in “the bad” with my chosen faith. because i was being tolerant and supportive of my wife’s beliefs. silly stuff.

      i, too, have a deep affection for O’Connor, wrote about her in my essay for my MFA, which will end up as an appendix of sorts for my thesis collection. she writes with an unaffected voice about things she was supposed to be affected by. but she managed to do it with grace, beauty, and compassion. amazing.

      i’ve often wondered when i’ve searched my soul if i should be immersing myself in faith (your shrink’s “go to church” doctrine) but it never made anything feel better. being in love with my wife makes things feel better. looking at my son makes things feel better. writing something meaningful, playing guitar, etc. and thinking about the questions of faith, too.

      i will definitely let you know when i get the stuff in the mail, and as always am very grateful. i will also be back at work on monday and will check out our remaining calendars ;)

  25. ryan

      pr,

      my wife is at best agnostic, and i am at worst agnostic, i think would be the best way to describe it. neither of us wanted a “traditional” wedding, and that in and of itself would have been okay, but i also wouldn’t let there be any “god talk” in the ceremony, because i felt like that should not be forced on my wife. that is what got me in “the bad” with my chosen faith. because i was being tolerant and supportive of my wife’s beliefs. silly stuff.

      i, too, have a deep affection for O’Connor, wrote about her in my essay for my MFA, which will end up as an appendix of sorts for my thesis collection. she writes with an unaffected voice about things she was supposed to be affected by. but she managed to do it with grace, beauty, and compassion. amazing.

      i’ve often wondered when i’ve searched my soul if i should be immersing myself in faith (your shrink’s “go to church” doctrine) but it never made anything feel better. being in love with my wife makes things feel better. looking at my son makes things feel better. writing something meaningful, playing guitar, etc. and thinking about the questions of faith, too.

      i will definitely let you know when i get the stuff in the mail, and as always am very grateful. i will also be back at work on monday and will check out our remaining calendars ;)

  26. pr

      oh yes, Kevin Keck. I read very little contemporary memoir, so the oedipus book didn’t appeal to me. but i just ordered his crisis of faith book “are you there god, it’s me kevin”. It’s Catholic stuff!!! Thanks Barry. I also ordered hockey haiku: the essential collection, because i gave my copy away last year when a friend took me to a rangers game. i also bought that lady’s book are you there vodka, it’s me chelsea, just cause i like the title so much.

  27. pr

      Ryan,
      the last few times I went to church, i just cried the whole time. That was six years ago. I am definitely someone with no answers. Again, love your comments and thanks for them.

  28. barry

      i only read one thing by flannery. i think it was called wise blood. it was quite a few years ago and i remember liking it but not being blown away, whatever that means. i liked oedipus wrecked a lot. havent read the god book yet, but i bet its a winner.

      yeah, that sounds like a good title. the vodka one. thats why i read, lullabies for little criminals. you have to read that. i promise it will not let you down. when i read it for the first time i just arrived in vegas. saturday night. and i couldnt leave the hotel room cuz i couldnt put the book down. it was that great.

  29. barry

      i only read one thing by flannery. i think it was called wise blood. it was quite a few years ago and i remember liking it but not being blown away, whatever that means. i liked oedipus wrecked a lot. havent read the god book yet, but i bet its a winner.

      yeah, that sounds like a good title. the vodka one. thats why i read, lullabies for little criminals. you have to read that. i promise it will not let you down. when i read it for the first time i just arrived in vegas. saturday night. and i couldnt leave the hotel room cuz i couldnt put the book down. it was that great.

  30. ryan

      none of us have answers, that’s what keeps us asking questions. i’m glad my posts don’t come across poorly, because i often have a lot of doubt about whether to push the submit button.

  31. ryan

      none of us have answers, that’s what keeps us asking questions. i’m glad my posts don’t come across poorly, because i often have a lot of doubt about whether to push the submit button.

  32. barry

      hesitation kills ryan. just go with it. deal with the repercussions after the fact.

  33. barry

      hesitation kills ryan. just go with it. deal with the repercussions after the fact.

  34. ryan

      barry i often go with it. and i often deal with the repercussions. that doesn’t keep the doubt at bay.

  35. ryan

      barry i often go with it. and i often deal with the repercussions. that doesn’t keep the doubt at bay.

  36. barry

      im just babbling between commercials of this show im watching.

  37. barry

      im just babbling between commercials of this show im watching.

  38. pr

      wise blood is not her best at all. don’t judge her on that. get her collected stories. read parkers back. tell me what you think.

      i read two of the kyle minor stories, barry. thanks for recommending him. i plan on reading more- i move around a bit with collections. but he’s great. i just read a bunch of Keck on Nerve. He is FUNNY.

      ryan- you’re great.

      now I’ll google lullabies for little criminals.

  39. jereme

      puttiing sauce on good steak is like getting a handjob from a virgin.

  40. jereme

      puttiing sauce on good steak is like getting a handjob from a virgin.

  41. pr

      I understand that argument Jereme. I really do. I also eat Bugles. I bought a bag today. When I was little, I used to suck cheese out of a squirt bottle. I never like spam, though. I am not very high class, except that I am sometimes. I’ll order a Delmonico with herb butter when I go out, but at home? STEAK SAUCE. Plus, a handjob from a virgin? Wouldn’t you rather that than from a miserable 50 yr old meth whore? Just thinkin.

  42. pr

      I just said “handjob from a virgin” to my husband and I think just saying that to him means I’m going to get lucky tonite.

  43. jereme

      i am not high class either. you are more classy than me. trust me on this.

      but the whole point of eating steak is to taste steak. not sauce. i dunno. the steak is pure and good. otherwise just poor the sauce on some chuck and be just as content.

      no i would rather stick my penis in the virgin.

  44. jereme

      i am not high class either. you are more classy than me. trust me on this.

      but the whole point of eating steak is to taste steak. not sauce. i dunno. the steak is pure and good. otherwise just poor the sauce on some chuck and be just as content.

      no i would rather stick my penis in the virgin.

  45. jereme

      hell yes.

  46. jereme

      hell yes.

  47. pr

      Well, I am also an oyster fanatic. I eat them for the horseradish and all the other crap you put on and the…texture. The saltiness. The challengingness of it. The cold taste of sea. Sauces can enhance, not drown, flavors. Have you read your fellow Californian’s -my brain just freezed -food writing? She’s dead. I am not telling you her name. It’ll come ot me. Her writing was wierdly sad, even when she was writing about food she liked. She wrote a great thing about spagetti and butter and I think, parmeson. It might have just been spagetti and butter.

      MLK Fisher!!!!! That is the sad lady who like spagetti.

      maybe the virgin is giving you a handjob so she can STAY a virgin? Huh? What bout that?

  48. jereme

      i like oysters too. they make me frisky.

      I have not read MLK Fisher. I’ll google her later if I remember.

      what ever the reason, it sucks for me. i won’t be able to enjoy the handjob. i will just keep thinking ‘she is a virgin. this sucks.’

  49. jereme

      i like oysters too. they make me frisky.

      I have not read MLK Fisher. I’ll google her later if I remember.

      what ever the reason, it sucks for me. i won’t be able to enjoy the handjob. i will just keep thinking ‘she is a virgin. this sucks.’

  50. Crustacean

      Only at HTML Giant could Jereme and PR coexist, and, perhaps, coalesce.

      Catholicism–at least in America–has always been a bit counter cultural. The rituals of this faith are fascinating, mystifying, and for most practitioners–including myself–necessary and healing. It is, perhaps, the most maligned Christian denomination/adherence because it is the most misunderstood. I think it provides solace to many, and it is eminently productive of dialogue, in both the intellectual and metaphysical realms. It is a wonderful thing to believe in God. Actually, it is a wonderful thing to channel that belief into tangible action. Often that action can be within the world of writing, editing, reading. Or it could be farming. Or making sandwiches.

      Hope everybody has a good night–

  51. Crustacean

      Only at HTML Giant could Jereme and PR coexist, and, perhaps, coalesce.

      Catholicism–at least in America–has always been a bit counter cultural. The rituals of this faith are fascinating, mystifying, and for most practitioners–including myself–necessary and healing. It is, perhaps, the most maligned Christian denomination/adherence because it is the most misunderstood. I think it provides solace to many, and it is eminently productive of dialogue, in both the intellectual and metaphysical realms. It is a wonderful thing to believe in God. Actually, it is a wonderful thing to channel that belief into tangible action. Often that action can be within the world of writing, editing, reading. Or it could be farming. Or making sandwiches.

      Hope everybody has a good night–

  52. ryan

      pr,

      i have you to live up to.

  53. ryan

      pr,

      i have you to live up to.

  54. pr

      Why this sucks? tell me. Why not, “holy crap, check out this hot chick touching me…!!!!”

      MFK- not MLK- Fisher. Sorry. She was a food writer and a “modernist” too. Or that is my take on her. And she as sad and overly sensitive. She is great. I haven’t read her in eons. I might pick her up again now. Thanks for making me think of her.

  55. pr

      Crustacean! thanks for commenting! “necessary and healing” and “channel that belief into tangibe action”- made me very happy. You have a a good night too.

  56. Justin Taylor

      thanks for posting this. sorry i missed most of the conversation. i finished reading Bloom’s Ruin the Sacred Truths and picked up another one of his- Jesus and Yahweh: The Names Divine. he’s pretty brilliant.

      i left poor augustine off at book vii. i want to get back to him. darcey steinke has written some interesting things in Easter Everywhere, her nonfiction book about her priest father and her lifelong struggle with religion. she writes that even as a believer, or would-be believer, the belief itself still comes in flashes, or periods—moments, in other words. it struck me as oddly resonant with something david berman said in an interview about his newfound sense of judaism (when it was still new): someone asked him what he was working on (or something like that) and he said (paraphrase again) he was working on sustaining belief for ten straight minutes.

      Kierkegaard reminds us in Training in Xianity that the man who prayed “Lord give me more faith in you” was not an agnostic, but already a believer.

      The work of developing, keeping, and growing faith is not work apart from or a pre-text to the rest and fullness of religious experience or practice. Rather this work is central to the process and the project. Part of that work–like any work–is false starts, some failure, and maybe changing out tools that no longer work for others better suited to the job.

      One very oool thing the new Bloom book has pointed me to is the William Tyndale bible. Tyndale was the Renaissance-era translator (later martyred for his trouble) who did–Bloom argues–the best translation of the bible since St Jerome. In any case, Tyndale’s bible was THE major source on the bibles that followed, including the Geneva bible and most importantly the Authorized King James. I read Tyndale’s epistle of James out loud today. give it a shot-

      http://wesley.nnu.edu/biblical_studies/tyndale/jam.txt

  57. Justin Taylor

      thanks for posting this. sorry i missed most of the conversation. i finished reading Bloom’s Ruin the Sacred Truths and picked up another one of his- Jesus and Yahweh: The Names Divine. he’s pretty brilliant.

      i left poor augustine off at book vii. i want to get back to him. darcey steinke has written some interesting things in Easter Everywhere, her nonfiction book about her priest father and her lifelong struggle with religion. she writes that even as a believer, or would-be believer, the belief itself still comes in flashes, or periods—moments, in other words. it struck me as oddly resonant with something david berman said in an interview about his newfound sense of judaism (when it was still new): someone asked him what he was working on (or something like that) and he said (paraphrase again) he was working on sustaining belief for ten straight minutes.

      Kierkegaard reminds us in Training in Xianity that the man who prayed “Lord give me more faith in you” was not an agnostic, but already a believer.

      The work of developing, keeping, and growing faith is not work apart from or a pre-text to the rest and fullness of religious experience or practice. Rather this work is central to the process and the project. Part of that work–like any work–is false starts, some failure, and maybe changing out tools that no longer work for others better suited to the job.

      One very oool thing the new Bloom book has pointed me to is the William Tyndale bible. Tyndale was the Renaissance-era translator (later martyred for his trouble) who did–Bloom argues–the best translation of the bible since St Jerome. In any case, Tyndale’s bible was THE major source on the bibles that followed, including the Geneva bible and most importantly the Authorized King James. I read Tyndale’s epistle of James out loud today. give it a shot-

      http://wesley.nnu.edu/biblical_studies/tyndale/jam.txt

  58. Justin Taylor

      oh and i forgot to say what i really came here to say, which was pr if you haven’t read Steinke’s novella _Milk_ you should really not pass GO until you’ve done that. it’s tiny and you’ll love it.

  59. Justin Taylor

      oh and i forgot to say what i really came here to say, which was pr if you haven’t read Steinke’s novella _Milk_ you should really not pass GO until you’ve done that. it’s tiny and you’ll love it.

  60. pr

      Ah, Darcy Steinke. The only book of hers I read was “suicide blonde” when I was a foreign scout. But I read excerpts of Milk somewhere. Also, when and if we do get together, I’ll talk a bit more about her with you.

      Thanks for checking out my post Justin. I have some dumb issues with bloom. again, i’ll talk about that with you maybe sometime. I mean me dumb. thanks for the link. I’ll check it out when not drinking jamesons and watching tennis.

      I am watching Sydney’s final. my brain hurts. The first grand slam of the year starts soon. Australia. I might buy a case of Fosters.

  61. pr

      Ryan,
      no, I am not someone to live up to in anyway. but maybe our dialogue will feed me– and maybe feed you. I am grateful.

  62. Mike

      That’s true, the Australian Open is soon! I am excited. I always forget how quick it comes because it’s all cold where I am, usually.

      Thank you, pr, for the shoutout in the post.

  63. Mike

      That’s true, the Australian Open is soon! I am excited. I always forget how quick it comes because it’s all cold where I am, usually.

      Thank you, pr, for the shoutout in the post.

  64. Brandon Hobson

      pr,
      Thanks for nice words and for going to ravenna for my book. Keep listening and keep watching!

  65. Brandon Hobson

      pr,
      Thanks for nice words and for going to ravenna for my book. Keep listening and keep watching!

  66. jereme

      because i am going to think ‘she is a virgin i want to stick my penis in her’

      ?

      how do you not see this pr?

  67. jereme

      because i am going to think ‘she is a virgin i want to stick my penis in her’

      ?

      how do you not see this pr?

  68. ryan

      pr,

      i will always look forward to any dialogue with you. i look forward to our future exchanges.

  69. ryan

      pr,

      i will always look forward to any dialogue with you. i look forward to our future exchanges.

  70. ryan

      i got distracted and repeated myself. oops.

  71. ryan

      i got distracted and repeated myself. oops.

  72. barry

      justin:

      i really like the tyndale version of the new testament. have you checked out the douay-rheims version, from 1580’s, its supposed to be a “catholic” bible. it rolls off the tongue. i like it.

      jereme & pr:

      i.e. steak and virgins. virgins are overrated. why would you rather fuck someone who’s never done it before, as opposed to someone who is very good at it, at 22 yr old girls gone wild whore for example. she’d be a better fuck to me than a 14 yr old kid who lays there and makes breathy half moans because she thinks she should. i rather fuck stifler’s mom.

      and with the steak sauce. i agree and disagree. for different reasons on different days. depends on the steak and the sauce and the chef.

  73. barry

      justin:

      i really like the tyndale version of the new testament. have you checked out the douay-rheims version, from 1580’s, its supposed to be a “catholic” bible. it rolls off the tongue. i like it.

      jereme & pr:

      i.e. steak and virgins. virgins are overrated. why would you rather fuck someone who’s never done it before, as opposed to someone who is very good at it, at 22 yr old girls gone wild whore for example. she’d be a better fuck to me than a 14 yr old kid who lays there and makes breathy half moans because she thinks she should. i rather fuck stifler’s mom.

      and with the steak sauce. i agree and disagree. for different reasons on different days. depends on the steak and the sauce and the chef.

  74. Justin Taylor

      i had an amazing steak yesterday for bunch at a spanish place on the LES. it was this super juicy tender skirt steak that came with two eggs over easy on top and a side of black beans. they also make wicked good margaritas, and something whose name i dont remember well enough to attempt to type out but was basially a pacifico beer mixed with fresh lime juice over ice in a salt-rimmed glass. YES.

      barry- my introduction to all this stuff is so belated. im only now struggling to understand the full scope of what’s available, much less avail myself of it. i know of the d-r bible but have never glimpsed it. ive only read as much of tyndale as i recommended last night. this is a totally ongoing project, and one moreover which is barely barely off the ground. my standard reference bible is the KJV. i have an oxford world classics edition that lives on my desk. that’s the one i can mark up and take notes in. i always think about getting another, fancier one that i would be too humble to mess with or write in, but so far i havent done it.

      how cool would it be to be a bible scholar? i think a lot of people feel like there’s this divide between studying religion and practicing/having it, but i have to say that i never feel better or stronger about things like faith and God than when I’m knee-deep in the contradictions, source-texts, ur-texts, and minutiae. I think this is why I’m responding to Bloom so strongly. he identifies as a Jewish Gnostic, and is really open about his struggle to believe and desire to believe more. I think he is a Gnostic because, rather than worshipping knowledge, he worships through knowledge. the written word is itself a mystical, spiritual experience for him, which i think is why he argues against the secular-spiritual divide in Ruin the Sacred Truths. i view this as a HIGHLY tenable position. it might sound academic and sort of dry, and i guess in practice it is, but the part of me that it is speaking to and green-lighting is not that part. it’s like a message straight to the gut/heart/soul that says HEY, IF THIS IS THE WAY YOU FIND ME, THEN KNOCK YOURSELF OUT BECAUSE IT’S REALLY OK.

  75. Justin Taylor

      i had an amazing steak yesterday for bunch at a spanish place on the LES. it was this super juicy tender skirt steak that came with two eggs over easy on top and a side of black beans. they also make wicked good margaritas, and something whose name i dont remember well enough to attempt to type out but was basially a pacifico beer mixed with fresh lime juice over ice in a salt-rimmed glass. YES.

      barry- my introduction to all this stuff is so belated. im only now struggling to understand the full scope of what’s available, much less avail myself of it. i know of the d-r bible but have never glimpsed it. ive only read as much of tyndale as i recommended last night. this is a totally ongoing project, and one moreover which is barely barely off the ground. my standard reference bible is the KJV. i have an oxford world classics edition that lives on my desk. that’s the one i can mark up and take notes in. i always think about getting another, fancier one that i would be too humble to mess with or write in, but so far i havent done it.

      how cool would it be to be a bible scholar? i think a lot of people feel like there’s this divide between studying religion and practicing/having it, but i have to say that i never feel better or stronger about things like faith and God than when I’m knee-deep in the contradictions, source-texts, ur-texts, and minutiae. I think this is why I’m responding to Bloom so strongly. he identifies as a Jewish Gnostic, and is really open about his struggle to believe and desire to believe more. I think he is a Gnostic because, rather than worshipping knowledge, he worships through knowledge. the written word is itself a mystical, spiritual experience for him, which i think is why he argues against the secular-spiritual divide in Ruin the Sacred Truths. i view this as a HIGHLY tenable position. it might sound academic and sort of dry, and i guess in practice it is, but the part of me that it is speaking to and green-lighting is not that part. it’s like a message straight to the gut/heart/soul that says HEY, IF THIS IS THE WAY YOU FIND ME, THEN KNOCK YOURSELF OUT BECAUSE IT’S REALLY OK.

  76. pr

      i guess i get it. i just think i’d be grateful to be getting my dick touched, thats all. but now i guess i get the disappointment angle, too.

  77. pr

      i guess i get it. i just think i’d be grateful to be getting my dick touched, thats all. but now i guess i get the disappointment angle, too.

  78. pr

      Brandon. I will keep watching and listening. I look forward to getting your book! I really, really was impressed with your work online.

      Justin– that comment just made me interested in Bloom. Wow. Great comment.

      And I want to go to that place on the LES- what a great meal! Beer with lemonde or other juices has different names in different places. In Germany, it’s a Rattler? Is that right? And now i forget the dominican name for it. But, man, so refreshing after a day on the slopes or a day at the beach.

      Barry, i am with you on steak and sauces. It all depends on where and what and who’s cooking and so forth. A steak is not a a steak is not a steak.

      And virgins. Just saying the word virgin is enough for me. It’s just a blood heater.

  79. pr

      Brandon. I will keep watching and listening. I look forward to getting your book! I really, really was impressed with your work online.

      Justin– that comment just made me interested in Bloom. Wow. Great comment.

      And I want to go to that place on the LES- what a great meal! Beer with lemonde or other juices has different names in different places. In Germany, it’s a Rattler? Is that right? And now i forget the dominican name for it. But, man, so refreshing after a day on the slopes or a day at the beach.

      Barry, i am with you on steak and sauces. It all depends on where and what and who’s cooking and so forth. A steak is not a a steak is not a steak.

      And virgins. Just saying the word virgin is enough for me. It’s just a blood heater.

  80. jereme

      ah 22 year old girls gone wild whore will have the beginning stages of Tore Up Pussy Syndrome.

      Anyways I did not say I would or would not pick a virgin over an experienced woman.

      But if a virgin is giving me a handjob, all i’m going to think is ‘i want to stick it in her vagina’.

  81. jereme

      ah 22 year old girls gone wild whore will have the beginning stages of Tore Up Pussy Syndrome.

      Anyways I did not say I would or would not pick a virgin over an experienced woman.

      But if a virgin is giving me a handjob, all i’m going to think is ‘i want to stick it in her vagina’.

  82. jereme

      skirt steak is not good steak. put sauce on it all you like.

      it is tasty though.

  83. jereme

      skirt steak is not good steak. put sauce on it all you like.

      it is tasty though.

  84. Peter Markus

      I like to watch hockey too. I like God too.

  85. Peter Markus

      I like to watch hockey too. I like God too.

  86. sampink

      the blackhawks are formidable this year.

  87. sampink

      the blackhawks are formidable this year.

  88. pr

      yes, but the rangers beat them yesterday. it was good hockey.

      one of my goals in life is to be a part owner of a minor league-ahl- hockey team. occasionally, i say, i’ll make a phone call about it. but then I don’t.

  89. barry

      justin:

      i think the book of james is a good place to start. that is my favorite book in the bible. i prefer the king james as well. im strongly considering doing my phd in religous studies. hopefully at temple.

  90. barry

      justin:

      i think the book of james is a good place to start. that is my favorite book in the bible. i prefer the king james as well. im strongly considering doing my phd in religous studies. hopefully at temple.

  91. Justin Taylor

      Barry- have you spent much time looking at religion PhDs? if so, i would love to pick your brain sometime. ive gotten as far as the departmental homepage of several divinity schools, but never farther. shoot me an email if you feel like it.

  92. Justin Taylor

      Barry- have you spent much time looking at religion PhDs? if so, i would love to pick your brain sometime. ive gotten as far as the departmental homepage of several divinity schools, but never farther. shoot me an email if you feel like it.

  93. Justin Taylor

      oh and PS Jereme- different steaks for different reasons. this wasn’t a dinner t-bone, it was brunch. it was tasy as shit and the ‘sauce’ it had was runny egg yolk from the eggs over easy served on top of it.

  94. Justin Taylor

      oh and PS Jereme- different steaks for different reasons. this wasn’t a dinner t-bone, it was brunch. it was tasy as shit and the ‘sauce’ it had was runny egg yolk from the eggs over easy served on top of it.

  95. barry

      justin:

      not much looking, unfortunately. im sorta landlocked. i only looked at temple.

  96. barry

      justin:

      not much looking, unfortunately. im sorta landlocked. i only looked at temple.

  97. pr

      Justin- Jereme made it clear- this post had many digressions, so I in no way hold it againt you–that certain steaks are breakfast, or cheaper, steaks. But there are many comments here. So my guess is you missed his post onhow skirt steaks desere saue or egg or whatnot.

  98. jereme

      hahaha the whole point was to make you laugh about putting sauce on beautiful steak.

      we went through a lot of shit to get to this point. you better laugh now.

  99. jereme

      hahaha the whole point was to make you laugh about putting sauce on beautiful steak.

      we went through a lot of shit to get to this point. you better laugh now.

  100. jereme

      justin,

      yes i think that is what i said?

  101. jereme

      justin,

      yes i think that is what i said?

  102. jereme

      pr,

      it is okay. justin didn’t dismiss me this time and not say anything so that is a positive.

      always look on the bright side of life.

  103. jereme

      pr,

      it is okay. justin didn’t dismiss me this time and not say anything so that is a positive.

      always look on the bright side of life.

  104. pr

      I find the embedded replies confusing. I’m sure others do too.

      I laughed from the get go re: virgin handjobs and steaks. I repeated it to my husband and we got all excited imagining being 16 and in the back of some car (OK, 14). I also SMILED at the very first thing “neon butterfly”. Jereme, when you wrote that, you made me feel special, like a neon butterfly. The power of words! The power of kindness.

  105. pr

      I find the embedded replies confusing. I’m sure others do too.

      I laughed from the get go re: virgin handjobs and steaks. I repeated it to my husband and we got all excited imagining being 16 and in the back of some car (OK, 14). I also SMILED at the very first thing “neon butterfly”. Jereme, when you wrote that, you made me feel special, like a neon butterfly. The power of words! The power of kindness.

  106. barry

      PITTSBURGH

      i like kindness.

  107. barry

      PITTSBURGH

      i like kindness.

  108. ryan

      pr,

      no more “place” calendars :(

      here’s what we have:

      victorian scrapbook
      impressionism
      monet
      van gogh
      “the reading woman”

      if any of these sound like something you would enjoy more than the 3D skateboard one let me know.

  109. ryan

      pr,

      no more “place” calendars :(

      here’s what we have:

      victorian scrapbook
      impressionism
      monet
      van gogh
      “the reading woman”

      if any of these sound like something you would enjoy more than the 3D skateboard one let me know.

  110. pr

      I think Van Gogh is a pretty great painter. If you want to send it to me, I think I have a return address on my package to you. Let me know when you get the books and THANKS, RYAN!!

  111. pr

      I think Van Gogh is a pretty great painter. If you want to send it to me, I think I have a return address on my package to you. Let me know when you get the books and THANKS, RYAN!!

  112. ryan

      Van Gogh would have been my pick, too. i will be happy to send it your way.

  113. ryan

      Van Gogh would have been my pick, too. i will be happy to send it your way.

  114. jereme

      van gogh rocks motherfucking socks off.

      score for you pr

  115. jereme

      van gogh rocks motherfucking socks off.

      score for you pr

  116. jeff coleman

      pr,

      You are crazy. God does not exist.

      I still like you, regardless.

  117. jeff coleman

      pr,

      You are crazy. God does not exist.

      I still like you, regardless.

  118. Anne Babson

      Dear PR,

      Whether or not God exists and whether or not I am crazy are two different questions. I tend to think the answer to both is yes.

      Serioustly, I am deeply touched by your recollection of my reading of “In Thanks For Mary” in the East Village years ago. I am glad that it made you have an idea of what I have have faith in. When churchy people talk about “witness” and “testimony,” that’s what they tend to mean. It also applies in principle to good writing. A good writer on any topic makes other people see the unseen.

      You have asked for no advice. I offer one bit of it nonetheless, in case you are thinking about it — I recommend exploring this possible belief of yours further by reading the Bible. If there is no God, it is still a great, gorgeous piece of writing. If there is a God (as I believe there is) then you can learn more about what others have seen.

      Sacred writing is something amazing. In orthodox Judaism, the belief that God is present in His Written Word, the Torah, is so strong that if a synagogue catches fire, the people are obligated to save the Torah with the same urgency as if it were an infant trapped in the building. The birth of Jesus for Christians signifies the notion of the Word made Flesh.

      It’s a fascinating way to examine text, even for an atheist, which you admit you may not be.

      Obviously, I believe in God. Take everything I say with that grain of salt. I exhort you nonetheless to pursue the passion of that possibility in your own heart without reservation, with the ardor of a new lover for his crush. What have you really got to lose?

      Thank you for commenting on my work, PR. It means a lot to me.

      Anne Babson

  119. Anne Babson

      Dear PR,

      Whether or not God exists and whether or not I am crazy are two different questions. I tend to think the answer to both is yes.

      Serioustly, I am deeply touched by your recollection of my reading of “In Thanks For Mary” in the East Village years ago. I am glad that it made you have an idea of what I have have faith in. When churchy people talk about “witness” and “testimony,” that’s what they tend to mean. It also applies in principle to good writing. A good writer on any topic makes other people see the unseen.

      You have asked for no advice. I offer one bit of it nonetheless, in case you are thinking about it — I recommend exploring this possible belief of yours further by reading the Bible. If there is no God, it is still a great, gorgeous piece of writing. If there is a God (as I believe there is) then you can learn more about what others have seen.

      Sacred writing is something amazing. In orthodox Judaism, the belief that God is present in His Written Word, the Torah, is so strong that if a synagogue catches fire, the people are obligated to save the Torah with the same urgency as if it were an infant trapped in the building. The birth of Jesus for Christians signifies the notion of the Word made Flesh.

      It’s a fascinating way to examine text, even for an atheist, which you admit you may not be.

      Obviously, I believe in God. Take everything I say with that grain of salt. I exhort you nonetheless to pursue the passion of that possibility in your own heart without reservation, with the ardor of a new lover for his crush. What have you really got to lose?

      Thank you for commenting on my work, PR. It means a lot to me.

      Anne Babson

  120. pr

      Thank you, Anne, for moving me so much that night long ago with your amazing poem. I struggle with my faith. I write about it here from time to time and the written word is part of my relationship to that struggle. I have read the Bible repeatedly, but not in a few years. I was raised in a very Christian household-my father was a deacon in a Presbytarian church- I broke completely with Christianity as a teenager, and then became quite obsessed with Catholicism not so long ago, after a time of serious personal trouble. Since then, I sometimes see “signs” of God and it scares me. (I even see your note here as a sign.)

      Again, thank you so much for stopping by. I use a sort of “cheeky” voice here a lot, but what makes me happy is that I believe you felt my heart was in the right place here, which is where I want it to be and how I want to be understood.
      With all my best,
      pr

  121. Anne Babson

      Let me share a sonnet with you that I wrote a while ago — it will either make you think we are both crazy or both listening to the quotidian langauge of the divine:

      THE VOICE

      No one will believe me when I proclaim that I
      Heard the Voice of Jehovah Poet twinkling
      In the Mister Softee truck song, exhaling sighs
      In the ignition of buzz saws, blessing-sprinkling
      In the dandelion-white whispers of stale air,
      Clearing throat and “ahem”ing jack hammers
      Under my city window. Who will let me share
      This mystery sounding – His staccato stammer?
      The devil is in the details. So is Heaven!
      Don’t wait for castrated angels bearing trumpets.
      God calls us now head-on. Disguised as our brethren,
      Our hairstylists, the homeless and the local strumpets,
      Messengers sent by the Most High bark, bong, quack, coo,
      Squeak, screech, clatter-bang and whistle Dixie for you.

      The founder of the hassidic movement in Judaism was the rabbi known as the Baal Shem Tov. He once explained the language of God in this way to someone who claimed that those who believed they received signs from God were crazy:

      If a deaf man walks by a room where there is a wedding reception with revelers raucously dancing and celebrating to music, the deaf man will say to himself, “those people have lost their minds.”

      To hear from God is like that — it is not that we are crazy, said the Baal Shem Tov, it is that the others are deaf to the music that makes us dance.

      Be well.

      Anne

  122. Anne Babson

      Let me share a sonnet with you that I wrote a while ago — it will either make you think we are both crazy or both listening to the quotidian langauge of the divine:

      THE VOICE

      No one will believe me when I proclaim that I
      Heard the Voice of Jehovah Poet twinkling
      In the Mister Softee truck song, exhaling sighs
      In the ignition of buzz saws, blessing-sprinkling
      In the dandelion-white whispers of stale air,
      Clearing throat and “ahem”ing jack hammers
      Under my city window. Who will let me share
      This mystery sounding – His staccato stammer?
      The devil is in the details. So is Heaven!
      Don’t wait for castrated angels bearing trumpets.
      God calls us now head-on. Disguised as our brethren,
      Our hairstylists, the homeless and the local strumpets,
      Messengers sent by the Most High bark, bong, quack, coo,
      Squeak, screech, clatter-bang and whistle Dixie for you.

      The founder of the hassidic movement in Judaism was the rabbi known as the Baal Shem Tov. He once explained the language of God in this way to someone who claimed that those who believed they received signs from God were crazy:

      If a deaf man walks by a room where there is a wedding reception with revelers raucously dancing and celebrating to music, the deaf man will say to himself, “those people have lost their minds.”

      To hear from God is like that — it is not that we are crazy, said the Baal Shem Tov, it is that the others are deaf to the music that makes us dance.

      Be well.

      Anne

  123. pr

      What an amazing poem. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

      You asked, “what have you really got to lose?” The answer to that, is my very soul. If I don’t have a soul, I have nothing to lose.

      But I have the same “feeling” that you do, sometimes. I have moments of clarity, of sight and sound and the lack of belief in coincidence, the intensity of moments where I think “this is meaningful, purposeful”, that make me believe. Yes, the “disguise” you talk about. God is so unexpected for me. I am always grateful, even if afraid.I know many who walk around not worried about these feelings, they revel in them, which I think you do. I admire these people, I admire you. For me, after my moments of clarity, I then get plagued with fears for my mental well being. I also can get very into a mode of dry thinking where I am so horrified by the history of the church, and of all religions, frankly. It is hard for me to combine the great joy I have in my moments of feeling God, with the reality of the hate and war that religious differences have caused on this planet. But then – in my better moments- I think- I am not the history of religion. I am a person who finds God in life.

      I have written about belief and craziness a few times- the Judith Hearne post and the Swedenborg post. Also, regarding the loss of my soul, I addessed that sort of (maybe obliquely) in writing about the long road to damnation in a post about the novel The Monk.

      But I want to reiterate my great appreciation that you do not dismiss my searching way.

  124. Kevin Keck

      I googled “Kevin Keck sucks” and this website came up, though I’m glad to see no one used that exact phrase.

      So, speaking as the author Kevin Keck let me thank you for buying my God book. I hope you’re not as terribly disappointed as everyone else who reads it. It’s a good book, but it lacks clear categorization. On the other hand, Oedipus Wrecked is probably the more tightly written of the two, and (if I do humbly say so myself) incredibly funny. I got lucky on that one.

      Cheers.

  125. Kevin Keck

      I googled “Kevin Keck sucks” and this website came up, though I’m glad to see no one used that exact phrase.

      So, speaking as the author Kevin Keck let me thank you for buying my God book. I hope you’re not as terribly disappointed as everyone else who reads it. It’s a good book, but it lacks clear categorization. On the other hand, Oedipus Wrecked is probably the more tightly written of the two, and (if I do humbly say so myself) incredibly funny. I got lucky on that one.

      Cheers.

  126. Chef

      I thought that you would have a bit more feedback posted but anyway, great blog.

  127. Chef

      I thought that you would have a bit more feedback posted but anyway, great blog.

  128. Organ

      Not many people think the same way as you. That includes me.. sorry :)

  129. Organ

      Not many people think the same way as you. That includes me.. sorry :)