February 27th, 2009 / 12:50 pm
 Random

Artistic expression is impossible under Barack Obama

barack-obama-dancing

This arrived in my email inbox this morning from a contributor who has asked to remain anonymous. I feel like posting it, so I will:

See what was happening was

See people were going to have the best hamburger yet, Puff Daddy had been sighted at the Anne’s Snack Shop in Pittsburgh for a ghetto burger

Dogs were having fun

See what was happening was there were no stop signs in any of the apartment complexes where anyone had grown up

Barack Obama brought the meat

Every morning in his cells, Bret Easton Ellis stands up and looks at the wall for 100 minutes before beginning on the sentences that will be deleted from his next novel

Someone is ready for hungry time

Today someone is ready for hungry time

When I say that ‘Artistic expression is impossible under Barack Obama’ I’m not any way trying to be funny

Though it will be easy to say I am

The best advice I ever got on writing was when the small woman full of blue blood stopped me in the street and asked me if I could help her tie her shoe

Which never happened

But was still the best advice I ever got on writing

People are getting afraid more often now, while eating waffles

At 4:04 am on 19th street in downtown Hemmings, a small child wriggles his fists in anticipation of the museum that will be built in the next 2-18 years over the ground where the room where he was going to one day cheat on his wife once stood

Today Barack Obama gets up in the morning and goes to the kitchen for a ham sandwich

But there is no longer any ham

There is an autographed replica of the first woman ever to be eaten alive, and there is a pack of Starburst gummies, and there is a lariat

But no ham

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29 Comments

  1. February 27th, 2009 / 5:17 pm Rauan—

      I have no idea what this person is saying. But I agree. Kind of.

  2. February 27th, 2009 / 1:17 pm Rauan—

      I have no idea what this person is saying. But I agree. Kind of.

  3. February 27th, 2009 / 7:03 pm brandon—

      who wrote that

      that was funny

  4. February 27th, 2009 / 3:03 pm brandon—

      who wrote that

      that was funny

  5. February 27th, 2009 / 7:08 pm Blake Butler—

      i have been asked not to share the writer’s name in public though in private i think is ok?

  6. February 27th, 2009 / 3:08 pm Blake Butler—

      i have been asked not to share the writer’s name in public though in private i think is ok?

  7. February 27th, 2009 / 7:12 pm barry—

      that is pretty bad ass.

  8. February 27th, 2009 / 3:12 pm barry—

      that is pretty bad ass.

  9. February 27th, 2009 / 7:31 pm Blake Butler—

      i am allowed to say this person has been on the muumuu house website

  10. February 27th, 2009 / 3:31 pm Blake Butler—

      i am allowed to say this person has been on the muumuu house website

  11. February 27th, 2009 / 3:35 pm pr—

      i dig other anons- some, not all, but this is a good one. “privacy is the new commodity” someone said that to me the other day. also, secrets can be exciting in an innocuous way sometimes…like this time. oh the mystery!!!

  12. February 27th, 2009 / 7:55 pm Justin Taylor—

      I think it’s totally weird how all the Muumuu House people are so into Bret Easton Ellis. It really doesn’t seem to fit with Richard Yates/Jean Rhys/Pessoa the rest of their reading list. I mean American Psycho’s a pretty wicked book, but I get the feeling they’re all into it for Glamorama and The Rules of Attraction, to which I can only offer a hearty, full-throated WTF? I wonder if it’s because the movie version of The Rules of Attraction has the Dawson’s Creek guy in it.

  13. February 27th, 2009 / 3:55 pm Justin Taylor—

      I think it’s totally weird how all the Muumuu House people are so into Bret Easton Ellis. It really doesn’t seem to fit with Richard Yates/Jean Rhys/Pessoa the rest of their reading list. I mean American Psycho’s a pretty wicked book, but I get the feeling they’re all into it for Glamorama and The Rules of Attraction, to which I can only offer a hearty, full-throated WTF? I wonder if it’s because the movie version of The Rules of Attraction has the Dawson’s Creek guy in it.

  14. February 27th, 2009 / 8:04 pm Blake Butler—

      now i am being told this person had not been on the muumuu house website

  15. February 27th, 2009 / 4:04 pm Blake Butler—

      now i am being told this person had not been on the muumuu house website

  16. February 27th, 2009 / 9:18 pm Justin Taylor—

      What. Fucking. Ever.

  17. February 27th, 2009 / 5:18 pm Justin Taylor—

      What. Fucking. Ever.

  18. February 27th, 2009 / 9:42 pm Blake Butler—

      oh, now

  19. February 27th, 2009 / 5:42 pm Blake Butler—

      oh, now

  20. February 27th, 2009 / 9:43 pm Justin Taylor—

      :)

  21. February 27th, 2009 / 5:43 pm Justin Taylor—

      :)

  22. February 28th, 2009 / 2:18 am darby—

      i didn’t know your inbox was a place to send spontaneous contributions. I guess now that I know then it’s something I know. It’s something I will know about in the guessing. It’s a fine thing, that. Tell him I said that or her but still I or type it and not say it and leave it be, take lemon in your tea?

      I like that there’s an entity called ‘the muumuu house people’ we refer to as having one aesthetic where some things fit and some things don’t. It’s rad. muumuu house is slowly becoming one of my favoriter things.

  23. February 27th, 2009 / 10:18 pm darby—

      i didn’t know your inbox was a place to send spontaneous contributions. I guess now that I know then it’s something I know. It’s something I will know about in the guessing. It’s a fine thing, that. Tell him I said that or her but still I or type it and not say it and leave it be, take lemon in your tea?

      I like that there’s an entity called ‘the muumuu house people’ we refer to as having one aesthetic where some things fit and some things don’t. It’s rad. muumuu house is slowly becoming one of my favoriter things.

  24. March 11th, 2009 / 2:18 pm Bob Fast—

      Hi, This is my first visit to this blog, I like your writing style. I’m very interested in your posts, please keep up the good work!

  25. March 11th, 2009 / 10:18 am Bob Fast—

      Hi, This is my first visit to this blog, I like your writing style. I’m very interested in your posts, please keep up the good work!

  26. March 14th, 2009 / 12:14 pm floor jacks—

      This is the first time I commented here and I should say you share us genuine, and quality information for other bloggers! Good job.
      p.s. You have a very good template for your blog. Where did you find it?

  27. March 14th, 2009 / 8:14 am floor jacks—

      This is the first time I commented here and I should say you share us genuine, and quality information for other bloggers! Good job.
      p.s. You have a very good template for your blog. Where did you find it?

  28. March 18th, 2009 / 4:02 pm Tona—

      I dont usually comment, but after reading through so much info I had to say thanks

  29. March 18th, 2009 / 12:02 pm Tona—

      I dont usually comment, but after reading through so much info I had to say thanks