The Postman’s Mother by Megan Savage
The postman has never penned a letter. Not on paper. For the postman a letter has always been a prayer sent upward from head to heaven. He has also never left home. Now, Mother rests abed, breath labored, bedsores hot. For supper, he serves her mashed potatoes and coleslaw, and afterwards he reads from Pearl S. Buck.
— from “The Postman’s Mother” by Megan Savage, published in Spork, 2006
There are no letter “i”s in this piece, a convincing nod to George Perec’s A Void, which I find very impressive. Try to write just one sentence like this; it is very difficult. This was originally published in 2006, but deserves a fresher read. Read the rest here.
Dance Dance Imperialism
Do they hate us or is it us that hates them? Probably a little bit of both, but sometimes it’s just nice to relax.
Kitty Snacks Guest Post: A conversation between Mary Miller and John Brandon
[Guest post from contest winner David Swider of Kitty Snacks.]
Kitty Snacks contributors Mary Miller and John Brandon sat down (at their computers) and emailed each other back and forth for about a week discussing different topics from writing to hanging out in their respective towns in Mississippi. John Brandon, the author of Arkansas (McSweeney’s), lives in Oxford, Mississippi (the home of Kitty Snacks magazine) where he is the John Grisham writer in residence, which means he gets a sweet house to live in, a few classes at the University of Mississippi to teach, and time to write. He has a new book coming out on McSweeney’s this summer. Mary Miller is the author of Big World (Hobart) and lives in Hattiesburg, Mississippi where she studies under Frederick Barthelme at the University of Southern Mississippi. Both writers were featured in Kitty Snacks #2 and they both have stories forthcoming in Kitty Snacks #3, which is out in a few weeks. — DS
Mary Miller asks John Brandon 7 questions
1. I was particularly interested in your story “Naples. Not Italy.” (which was published in Subtropics) because it’s excellent, but also because I’m currently writing a story in first person plural. I thought this POV was obscure but it seems like I’m finding it all over the place lately, particularly in flashes by contemporary writers. Do you write in this point of view often? What do you think you’re able to achieve using this perspective as opposed to first person singular, or third person?
John Brandon
I went on a first person plural kick. I wrote three stories in it, if that’s a kick. I think there’s something mysterious about that POV because the reader can’t pinpoint the origin of the information they’re receiving. And there’s an authority to it. Somebody may argue with you, but will they argue with you and a bunch of your friends? I read a Tom McGuane story where he uses first person plural to characterize a town’s sensibilities. I think that’s when I became interested in it. Yeah, mystery and authority.
Finnegan’s Wank
Finnegan’s Wank — despite qualms over the possessive apostrophe — has been published by Annalemma. So good to see such vivid evocations of Finnegans Wake in jesusangelgarcia and William Walsh’s contributions, while P. William Grimm throws us back to a more restrained a la Dubliners version. Good job everyone! (Artwork taken from Eric Fischl’s “Sleep walker,” 1979.)
Bio envy
Self Portrait, William Gaddis
If you’re going to write a book, who asked you to? It is, in fact, quite an act of ego to sit down in a room, while others are getting on trains and subways, and put one’s vision on paper, and then ask others to pay to read it. Not only to pay but say, “Isn’t he brilliant.”
— William Gaddis (1980)
Seems hypocritical since, um, he wrote a bunch of books, and thick as hell I might add. It is interesting that he evokes transportation to work (trains, subways, etc.), as he struggled at a full-time job (he was a clerk at a law firm) during his early career. A little resentment goes a long way, as if Gaddis is solemnly nodding to his past approvingly, almost preferring his indignation.
In author bios, you never read “[So and so] works at [company name] as a [profession],” apprehensive about the “reality” of one’s day job, as (unless you’re successful or broke) most of us have. Good for the adjunct, lecturer, or professor who teaches writing, seriously, I mean that. But the unspoken thing is most of us have unrelated day jobs, which is never mentioned, ignored like Down syndrome.
Common tactics employed by HTMLGIANT commenters, as abridged via Ketel One ad responses
1. Passive Aggressive
Jimmy Chen—
Opium’s death matches have a refreshing spirit, but I don’t understand this. Are we that competitive?
Go Jeeves! Go Life!
P.G. Wodehouse
“I just read in this morning’s paper that [P.G.] Wodehouse says that they give him $104,000 for doing nothing at Hollywood they keep him there but they do not use what they ask him to do.”
— Gertrude Stein, from a letter to playwright Thorthon Wilder (1936)
—
“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”
— P.G. Wodehouse
Contest winner/Annalemma call for submissions
by Chris Killen is the winner of HTMLGIANT & Annalemma’s “When Writers Get Off” contest. Congratulations Chris. Some notes from judge Chris Heavener of Annalemma:
First of all, yall should be ashamed of yourselves and your filthy, disgusting, brilliant minds.
Outstanding In the out-of-control category:
– Jesus’ Cum
– 1984 = Nineteen-tranny-whores
– The Diarrhea of Anne FrankOutstanding in the fucking hilarious category:
– Twats Heating Gilbert’s Grapes
– Leak, Mammory
– Dong of SolomonRunner up: The Magic Mountin’
Winner: Finnegan’s Wank
Gives a new definition to masturbatory writing. Submit 250 words of this nasty novel and we’ll post on annalemma.net soon.
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: Annalemma will be publishing a collaborative effort entitled “Finnegan’s Wank,” a work of fiction containing multiple accepted pieces. Each writer is to submit ~250 words; one submission per writer, and, as succinctly offered by Chris, “No furries.” This is a private venture, independent of HTMLGIANT’s influence, and will be moderated autonomously henceforth. Thanks for playing along.