Reconcile the following two thoughts:

1. The only market for poetry today is other poets.
2. There are too many MFA programs, and too many poets.

What kind of sandwiches do you like to eat? What kind of sandwiches do you like to make? Have you ever enjoyed a sandwich made by a stranger and attempted to make a copy of your own in private? Have you ever stolen a sandwich? Have you ever stolen food? Have you ever stolen anything that was quite expensive? Have you ever committed a felony? Are you a criminal? What is the most exotic animal you’ve ever ridden? Are you interested in ambergris? What is the longest you’ve ever gone without eating? Do you read anything that makes you think it is possible to interact with humans in consistently positive ways? Have you ever had sex on a plane? Have you ever seen anything no reasonable person would believe? What’s the best way to kill an hour? What is your favorite color? Do you know anybody named Fanny who is under 40 and isn’t British? Ever been inside a pyramid? How long have you gone without showering? Ever met a venerator of Satan? What do you think about globalization and the internet? What can you tell me about the “dark web?” How about that line from Raekwon’s Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… that mentions a “27-inch Zenith” which has in the interim become a respectably-but-not-shockingly-large TV size? Do you think you’d be one of the people refusing to administer shocks to someone with a heart condition if ordered to do so by an authority figure? Have you ever been really, really star-struck? Has anyone you’ve told about being star-struck appeared bored by your experience? Have you ever had intercourse on [a] psychedelic substance[s] and thought you were inside an octopus or that you were an actual octopus? What do you think about the narrative possibilities of a series of questions? Have you ever owned an Erector Set? If someone hasn’t read P.P. is s/he also allowed to construct a series of questions in book form and plaster excerpts in public places and make vimeo videos with celebrities and porn stars reading from the series and still love J.J. for implanting the image of an arm inserted elbowdeep in a male vulva in his/her mind and for coining (among xxxxxxx) pronouns “shis” and “hrim?” What’s your sign, birl? Have you ever been dangerously close to murdering someone? Maiming? Do you take the national security of the United States of America seriously? Would you take a bite out of a human heart (and not even necessarily swallow) for $3,500 (or for nothing if you must) if a donor had stipulated in THEIR will that THEY would donate $3,500,000 to all cancers if someone did the heart biting thing and took money for it.com? Do you ever slip into certain modes of thinking/speaking based on your level of ______? Does heavy whipping cream always sound erotic to you? Ever listen to “I Like It Rough” on repeat while beating yourself in the face with a velveteen hammer just to “see what happens?” EP UPI RBRT make coffee at night then put it in cup and place the cup somewhere so it can cool off and not “attract attention” then after it has cooled off place the cup next to your bed so it will be there when you wake up because if you wake up without the cup there you might not be able to get up and make coffee and you also like the shudder induced by the cold bitterness? Have you ever seen your name on a blimp/”met” Jason Schwartzman? Do you think I spelled it correctly without looking it up? Do you know what an SP-1200 is? What is the most notable song (and only one I can think of right now) referencing the SP-1200? Wanna go inside a pyramid?

Marie Calloway’s new story has been ‘released.’

The almost complete lack of response from the internet has me wondering why. The major proponents of the hooplah following the media-blitz of “Adrian Brody” were insisting that it was wonderful writing and that it was an example of a brilliant young female writer being supressed/mansplained or whatever. If the point is to be supporting young woman writers, and not just to be appropriating a young female writer for your own agenda, what happened? The story also happens to be about Tao Lin, and is what seems to be the first major ‘exposé’ of Tao Lin on the internet that hasn’t garnered 300+ comments from the usual suspects.

I found the ending of “Jeremy Lin” totally amazing.

Some have serious heat. Some have flavor. I’m looking for both. What is your favorite hot sauce? Links would be fine.

What do you do for a living? How do you feel about your job?

What does it mean to be a quirky writer?

Why do you guys even read this garbage that talks about National Poetry Month enough to annoy you into annoying me with all your jokes that would maybe be funny if I read this garbage? There is a whole world of actual people doing things to each other out there. It is spring, fornication is everywhere. Get fucked.

“If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, it seems to me he should at least have an outfit for that.” — John Waters in the Wall Street Journal on the debate between transparent and topographical sentences.

1163 Audio Files – author readings, interviews, talks about writing — from Prairie Lights Bookstore in Iowa City, and from the archives of the University of Iowa Libraries. All free (but not downloadable — you have to use the library’s media player.)

The Believer Logger will be posting monthly installments of Ali Liebegott’s epic train trip across America. Her destination is the Emily Dickinson House in Amherst, MA and along the way she talks with epic women poets.

Check out Installment #1!

Found Item, Muncie, IN.

10 minute documentary by Errol Morris on champion chicken wing eater, El Wingador, at the Times.

What is the most you’ve ever eaten in one sitting?

“Last words from my father. What did he say? (self.AskReddit)“

when was the last time you threw up on yourself & why not now

“My religion is Poetry, not a religion of kindness and love but one of absolute permission. If poetry doesn’t strip me naked in front of my enemies then nothing will.” — CAConrad, in an amazing (duh, it’s CAConrad) and even downright rousing interview with Thom Donovan at The Academy of American Poets, excerpted from A Beautiful Marsupial Afternoon, Conrad’s new book of (Soma)tic exercises out April 1st from Wave.

OUR NEW YORK OFFICE (2012) BOOK TRAILER

By Adam Hump and Mitch Trale

A new volume of David Foster Wallace’s uncollected essays, Both Flesh and Not, has been announced for release on 11/27/12 from Little, Brown.

A preview from Tom Bissell’s forthcoming essay collection, Magic Hours, is up today at McSweeney’s.

At the Poetry Foundation, an excellent article about the intersection of writing and poker, concerning the life of Joel Dias-Porter, who lives and writes in casinos.