Tao Lin has posted three short stories by Matthew Rohrer and reprinted a Tara Wray story from Pindeldyboz 3. Plus don’t forget R.B. Glaser’s modern classic: “Butt Teen,” which has been up since the site launched I think.
MASSIVE PEOPLE (1): GianCarlo DiTrapano
Tuesdays at HTMLgiant shall now entail the feature MASSIVE PEOPLE, in which good people who are doing important shit for independent literature will be featured for a handful of q’s and some sexy photos, etc. Editors, publishers, writers, anything with a good mouth.
I would be hard pressed to find someone better to kick this bitch off with than GianCarlo DiTrapano, who in addition to be the editor of one of the best literary journals around NEW YORK TYRANT, which will soon be launching its press leg with books by Michael Kimball, Brian Evenson, Eugene Marten, and more, is also a hell of a writer (recently published in Opium.print and No Colony, etc.) and fun to listen to talk.
Let’s kick it.
1. What happens to you most days?
The same as what happens to most. I eat and work and have drinks and then lay back down to do it again. It’s getting colder in New York so I will be spending less time outside.
What does not happen to you most days?
I sit back and relax as my bank account wildly increases and then I beat my dog to celebrate.
2. You were in my dream the other night, no kidding, I don’t know why, it was a small apartment, you were in one door yelling at someone on the other side of the room at another door, me and another guy were watching, the man you were yelling at took out a gun and shot you in the face. What does this mean? Why?
I know what it means. I have the same one. You and a friend drive from Atlanta to New York City for a party. I spot you guys downtown and say hello. The three of us go to a bar and get drunk, really drunk, and a phonecall is placed using your friend’s phone. The rest of the night is delivered by a smiling Latino boy with silver sunglasses on top of his head. We return to my apartment in Hell’s Kitchen to finish things. We get back there, and do indeed finish them, but in a hurry, as if “finishing” were the objective. We call for more. A different guy shows up this time (no silver sunglasses) and I don’t recognize him. There seems to be some bad blood. You can tell by the tone we use. So, the rest of the night is passed to me but it’s light. Sometimes I raise my voice when I’m displeased. I am standing in the kitchen doorway as the delivery guy stands just inside my front door. I tell him, with a raised voice, how much this pains me. I ask him what is going on and why he insists on being such a jig. A gun is produced, I get shot in the face. My hands come up over my mouth, blood pours from between my fingers. You and your friend are sitting on the floor, backs against the wall and you can’t stop staring. All four of your eyes are huge and you’re just staring at me. It looks like you aren’t even breathing. I stumble back into the kitchen and land on the floor. From the linoleum, I see him turn the gun on you and your friend. Your friend’s skin miraculously turns black the moment the gun is pointed at him. You, Blake, turn pink and start glowing and you look like you’re getting younger. Both of you get it real good though; three times each in the stomach. Then you roll over onto your sides and hold your guts in. It’s an awful scene. The bullet I took went out through my cheek, so, even though there’s a lot of blood, I live. But you two don’t though. You could’ve, but you don’t though. Your lives are allowed to end because I am too bothered with my face. I am so worried about it that I must keep continuing the rest of the night to deal with it while both of you wiggle on the floor holding your stomachs and bleeding to death. In my defense, I do keep saying over and over, “I’m really sorry about all of this, Blake. I’m so so sorry. Tell your friend I’m sorry. Why’s he black now? Tell him I’m sorry. New York is usually a pretty good time.” And then I mumble something indecipherable. I don’t look at you when I say it because I am busy with what is laid out on the desk in front of me. Crushing and chopping. It is turning pink and balling up from the falling blood of my mouth. I get the feeling in the dream that you and your friend think I’m being rude. Does your dream run like this?
Now, if dreams do anything else besides foretell the future, I think they allow themselves to be opened for interpretation. This particular dream can be interpreted like this: Giancarlo DiTrapano can be a very selfish person and may seem like not such a good friend when he is in the pocket. He lacks what he’s always craved: elan. But it also signifies a deep tie between us, Blake. Watching someone get shot in the face in your dreams is textbook Freudian for a future bond. If I had been naked, the dream would mean you were planning on shooting me yourself. But, you know, if that’d happened, I’d never have invited you two back to my place and probably would have walked the other way once I spotted you guys downtown.
3. Tell me a literary rumor. Make it up if you have to.
I think I know what you’re getting at. Hmmm…let me see. This one time, to get a story for the Tyrant, I sent “a young Italian girl with pretty feet” over to a writer’s house at his request. It was a trade, and we received in turn a story by the writer. The story was worth it. The story is good. And it created this other story. A whole new story that didn’t exist before. The story about getting the story. That was the last good thing I’ve written and I didn’t even have to pick up a pen.
4. What books are you reading now? What books do you want to read?
What I read daily, without question, are the titles stacked in my bathroom.
“Waste” by Eugene Marten (Already read this, but I just like picking it up and digging in at any point)
a book of poems by Piero Pasolini (This was a gift. Roman Poems. Kind of sucks.)
a book titled “Disarming the Narcissist,” (This was mailed to me by a printer as an example of their work and I don’t have many books like this so it’s different and fun to learn what a narcissist I am.)
“The Origins of Solitude” by Garth Buckner
“Essay on Man” by Alexander Pope. (Jaw-dropping)
I want to read Under The Volcano and the recently released Camus diaries.

Gian's son learning to smoke
5. What are you writing now? What do you want to write?
I am working on a piece about David Lynch for this collection that is coming out soon that should be great. I’m actually having trouble with it and am hoping the editor won’t get angered by me failing completely. But I don’t really write that much. I have in the past, wrote a little here or there, but not so much. I don’t even consider myself a writer most of the time. I’d like to do it more, but when I’m not really feeling it I end up hating the whole damn world and everyone in it and especially hate myself for acting like such a fraud.
mike bushnell’s “tidal”
mike bushnell just published a piece of writing called tidal. please read it. some say that tidal is cursed. some say, a man just ain’t right after reading it. there was a feller tried reading it and had a seizure and died on the stained carpet in his room he did. another feller’s eyes turned black and fell right out his skull onto his laptop. tidal.
October 21st, 2008 / 12:50 am
MEAN MONDAY: Aggressive Suitor
Got a special email last night from some dude, titled ‘Yeah, you.’ Uh oh.
Here’s what it had to say:
What’s up with your dead dick website? The motherfucker is cut-off on the left. Were you cum drunk when you designed it? Anyway dildo breath, here it is with your fake ass tough talk; What the piss is the pay for publication in your magazine? Most lit mags list it, why should I need to contact you about it? List it, Goddamn it! Do it NOW!! I write stories that make Hemingway, Fitzgerald and others of their ilk look like candy asses, suckling at their momma’s tit. I don’t have time to be coddling dirt dumb editors who can’t even layout a guidelines page – wake the fuck up!!
Christopher Roberts
I was able to find one online piece of work by Christopher Roberts, who writes stories that make Hemingway, Fitzgerald and others of their ilk look like candy asses, which is an an essay criticizing the closed-mindedness of the New Yorker (ironically at 3:AM Magazine). Bone crushing.
I’m not sure which way I offended Mr. Roberts, as I haven’t been able to link him to any of the journals I criticized the design of during Mean Week.
I did find him stickin’ it to the man from the inside on some writer’s publicity group called writers.net. Here’s his profile:
Chris Roberts
Agent: Writers net sucks
Brooklyn, New York, United StatesEmail: croberts7@nyc.rr.com
I live to run Writers net out of business – it’s run by a bunch of blowjobs.
Interests: Serial Killing.
Published writer: Yes
Freelance: No
Salivatory.
Anyway, to answer your question, dude, you must not have paid close enough attention to the ‘guidelines’ on our site (I assume you are talking about No Colony, though I’m not quite sure how websites can be ‘cut off on the left,’ does your monitor load backwards?) but let me point you to this thing right here on the front page:
We accept cash, credit, money orders, New Yorker subscriptions, and some forms of primitive coin or manual stimulation.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m on my way back to quivering in the vast throes of impending serial-killer-narrative innovation.
Good luck!
Mean Monday: Acclaim for New Delta Review
Because I like to punish myself, I put aside this book review I’m working on to check out once again the Literary Rejections on Display blog and found this post about New Delta Review. Apparently, NDR uses this form letter:
For those with bad eyes, the rejection says:
Thank you for submitting. Unfortunately, the work you sent us is quite terrible. Please forgive the form rejection, but it would take too much of my time to tell you exactly how terrible it was. So again, sorry for the form letter.
Please let this be real. Please. I want this to be real so badly.
Already, someone in the comments section has advised NDR to hire a security guard, because someone might spray-paint their office and take a baseball bat to their car(s).
I have emailed the staff at NDR for confirmation of the form rejection.
*UPDATE*
Here are the emails I exchanged with the editor:
Hey Editors,
I just read somewhere online that you have a rejection form letter that says something like this:
“Thank you for submitting. Unfortunately, the work you sent us is quite terrible. Please forgive the form rejection, but it would take too much of my time to tell you exactly how terrible it was. So again, sorry for the form letter.”
Can you confirm this? I’d rather not waste my or your time submitting something to be rejected just to find out. But I really like the form letter, if this is true. It is funny.
Is it true?
Good work, everyone. Really. I don’t mean this sarcastically.
Thanks,
Ryan
And NDR‘s response:
Ryan,
I responded on the blog to the inquiry. Yes, the rejection in real, in that it came off of our computer and follows the basic template of our form rejection (and was sent out by a particularly wise-ass editor on our staff), but it is not our usual rejection. However, if I received that rejection, I would totally frame it. People take this business way too seriously – rejections are handed out for a million reasons, the first 900,000 of them being personal taste. But you know all this. Glad it gave you a laugh! Submit your work anyway!-Benjamin S. LowenkronEditor-in-Chief
So it is true, but halfway. It’s not their standard form rejection.
*UPDATE UPDATE*
The current editor and then the ‘assmunch’ who originally perpetrated this crime have both posted comments at LROD to explain the situation.
Let the feeding frenzy begin.
October 20th, 2008 / 12:57 pm
Mean Monday: Bukowski dick
God, Bukowski. Did that guy really ever have to exist? I think it was funny and ‘connective’ as a 17 year old seeing books with titles like ‘sometimes you get so alone it just makes sense’ or whatever permutation of that title was on that book cover. But like Nirvana to rock music, an ‘innovator’ who makes a whole previously quieter genre big bucks famous, Bukowski is probably more responsible for boring, retarded writing than, well, anybody maybe, except for Thoreau?
Nah, it’s Bukowski.
Case in Point: this dude on 3:am. 3AM is confusing in that they seem split between interesting, weird writing (mostly culled by Ellen and Tao) and the UK grime / ‘Brutalist’ garbage, which is often like the ULA junior.
I think about the time I was offered coke at college and replied that I wasn’t thirsty. When a taxi-driver asked if I liked ‘bud’ and I thought he meant Budweiser.
I think I wrote something a joke like this when I was 17, before I’d tried beer.
This set of ‘poems’ newly published on 3AM, I’m really not sure who thought this would be interesting, maybe they know their market or something, but ruminations on reality TV, cokeheads, and bad parents, well, hrm, those are all things that are hard to talk about well probably, and especially not in the manner of Dr. B.
Add that the 3:AM dude looks like Billy Corgan on meth, and yip. But that’s below the belt.
One day they will publish a selected works of Bukowski that will be worth buying, as 1 in 18 of his poems will sometimes knock you on your ass, but otherwise, well bub, thanks a lot.
Dennis Cooper presents: The day love co-signs 10 poems from the so-called New York School
October 20th, 2008 / 9:53 am
Bateau Press
Bateau Press has just launched a new version of their website, with way more access to info than they’d had before, including contents of their current issue, info chapbooks and current submission and contest guidelines.
They are currently running their 3rd annual chapbook contest, which has electronic submissions, nice:
OPEN TO ALL WRITERS
Winner receives $500 and copies of the winning chapbook.
Manuscripts will be read anonymously by staff of Bateau.
Please, no submissions from students or close friends of the editors.
Age and previous book publication are not considerations for eligibility.
Check out the site for more info, Bateau is really doing something cool. I like the handmade style of Bateau and the book object style they represent, there should be more places like this, even more than there currently are.
Interviews
I asked Ryan Manning why he was interviewing so many people and he said “I don’t know” which is classic Ryan Manning.
His new blog/site is called THUNK and it’s a nice big chunk of interviews with people like Tao Lin, Zach German, Kendra Malone, and lots lots more.
I especially enjoyed the response Ryan got from Marc Mez:
“man your questions really suck, nevermind it’s a big waste of my time, but thanks.”
It’s not a waste of time. Check it out here.
October 19th, 2008 / 3:28 pm