Author News
Author Photo Failures
Ah, the multitude of ways an author photo can come out so very wrong.
Here’s a classic:
Let’s forget for a moment that this is Dan Brown and instead just list all the ways his photographer/stylist managed to make him look like a schmuck:
Shit-eating grin, Ye Olde Boys Club decor, leaning against the fireplace, hand on hip, feet positioned for him to pirouette to his next manicure, T-shirt tucked into belted Dad Jeans… Oh my god I have to stop. Next…
This is actually an ok picture, I think, but it fails because it vastly misrepresents Joyce Carol Oates. Plausible Caption: “Oh, you know, I just like writing these pretty little stories about whimsical kittens and knitting hats for the kids down at the children’s hospital. Would you like a warm cookie? Because I just made some ginger snaps!” (Admittedly, this picture may have never been used on a book jacket.)
Truman, Truman, Truman. Jesus Christ, man, get some sun already! Whatever happened to your boyish good looks? Holding a cigarette while gripping your head and giving the camera a put-me-out-of-my-misery stare? For fucks sake.
Ok, ok, we get it, Richard Dawkins. You’re a militant atheist. Everyone is selfish. You invented the word “meme.” But do you really have to frown so pointedly in your picture? And in front of a red background? It’s almost like he wants to be called the Antichrist. Actually, of course he wants to be called the Antichrist.
Ok, that’s all the mean I have in me right now. Where is Jimmy Chen when you need him?
Tags: bad author photos
Personally, I think all author photos are failures – and not just the artful black & white “oh wow, I’m like, so intense and serious, you know?” ones. Author photos should be banned. It has never added to my enjoyment of a piece of writing to know what the author looks like. In fact, in many cases, it’s lessened that enjoyment when I’ve discovered that they look like somebody whose face I’d avoid staring at on the bus.
Personally, I think all author photos are failures – and not just the artful black & white “oh wow, I’m like, so intense and serious, you know?” ones. Author photos should be banned. It has never added to my enjoyment of a piece of writing to know what the author looks like. In fact, in many cases, it’s lessened that enjoyment when I’ve discovered that they look like somebody whose face I’d avoid staring at on the bus.
like that post!
like that post!
The Dan Brown is classic.
I like the way his stance emphasizes his rather less than impressive crotch stylus. And how he looks like he was never any good in gym class.
Nice.
In general I think author photographs are terrible, as most writers — well, most male writers — are not too easy on the eyes. I do admit that a lot of photographs of younger women writers that I see today tend to suggest a latent — sometimes not so latent — model potential.
But there is one incredible photograph of Samuel Beckett on the cover of one of his Grove Press novel compilations. He’s wearing these highly cool shades and a dark sweater, and heavy coat. He’s looking away from the camera, down at this feet, or someone else’s feet. He looks a thousand miles away he’s so cool, so indifferent to the camera. His face is brilliant, furrowed like a dark tonal symphony made into flesh. It is elsewhere, his whole look. Maybe Beckett was vain, maybe he spent a great deal of time in front of the mirror worrying about his furrows, wondering if maybe he was overdoing it with the ‘haggard’, but I don’t care, he had an amazing cool look going on, the coolest.
Now think of Allen Ginsberg. Now again Beckett. Ginsberg. Beckett. Ginsberg. The catastrophe of the one amply serves to highlight the brilliance of the other.
IMHO.
good post. smiled a lot reading it. wanted to carry on reading.
good post. smiled a lot reading it. wanted to carry on reading.
“Ye Olde Boys Club decor”
lol…. i love all uses of “Ye Olde..”
“Ye Olde Boys Club decor”
lol…. i love all uses of “Ye Olde..”
Of COURSE Dan Brown would be rockin the classic basketball coach combo: black crewneck under tweedy brown sportcoat. Of course.
Of COURSE Dan Brown would be rockin the classic basketball coach combo: black crewneck under tweedy brown sportcoat. Of course.
Next Truman Capote should be played by Tilda Swinton.
Next Truman Capote should be played by Tilda Swinton.
Fun read, next do successful jacket photos (If there is such a thing), how about this one:
http://www.planetvideo.com.au/blog/2009/01/04/Salinger.jpg
I could see that for the posthumous collection
Fun read, next do successful jacket photos (If there is such a thing), how about this one:
http://www.planetvideo.com.au/blog/2009/01/04/Salinger.jpg
I could see that for the posthumous collection
The Dan Brown photograph:
“Hey there, come here often?” ;)
The Dan Brown photograph:
“Hey there, come here often?” ;)
Dan Brown’s “mom jeans” are certainly worth discussing, particularly when paired with that sassy turtleneck. I like Dan Brown.
Dan Brown’s “mom jeans” are certainly worth discussing, particularly when paired with that sassy turtleneck. I like Dan Brown.
Dan Brown’s picture seems to be missing a bearskin rug and mounted head of some sort.
Dan Brown’s picture seems to be missing a bearskin rug and mounted head of some sort.
OMG Roxane (good eye!) – theyz are totally “mom jeans” hahahahaha
SOMEBODY HELP THIS MAN!!!!
OMG Roxane (good eye!) – theyz are totally “mom jeans” hahahahaha
SOMEBODY HELP THIS MAN!!!!
His pants say, “no,” but his face says “ELIZA”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ezy50aY6Bg
His pants say, “no,” but his face says “ELIZA”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ezy50aY6Bg
[…] HTMLGIANT / Author Photo Failures […]
Good stuff! Poor Dan Brown and his dad jeans.
Funny, I’m actually working on a piece about author photos right now.
Good stuff! Poor Dan Brown and his dad jeans.
Funny, I’m actually working on a piece about author photos right now.
that’s nifty. i’m interested in author photos as well. wanna submit a poem to my magazine, lincoln? would be cool. stephen.dierks@gmail.com
that’s nifty. i’m interested in author photos as well. wanna submit a poem to my magazine, lincoln? would be cool. stephen.dierks@gmail.com
oh, all the details are here, lincoln: http://popserial.tumblr.com/post/461833926/pop-serial-a-limited-edition-art-literature-magazine
Thx
oh, all the details are here, lincoln: http://popserial.tumblr.com/post/461833926/pop-serial-a-limited-edition-art-literature-magazine
Thx
i agree most author photos are failures, but i think vollmann and joan didion take interesting pictures. i also had a special thing for zadie smith’s white teeth jacket.
http://literaryaddict.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/david_foster_wallace.jpg
i agree most author photos are failures, but i think vollmann and joan didion take interesting pictures. i also had a special thing for zadie smith’s white teeth jacket.
http://literaryaddict.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/david_foster_wallace.jpg
http://popserial.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/aldous-huxley.jpg : )
http://popserial.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/aldous-huxley.jpg : )
http://www.dangerousminds.net/images/uploads/vollmanspanlkjlutoiurtuo.jpg
http://www.dangerousminds.net/images/uploads/vollmanspanlkjlutoiurtuo.jpg
http://mhpbooks.com/mobylives/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/taolin090119_560.jpg
http://mhpbooks.com/mobylives/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/taolin090119_560.jpg
too good!
too good!
just got the new writer’s chronicle in my inbox at school. every author photo in there looks pretty douchy.
just got the new writer’s chronicle in my inbox at school. every author photo in there looks pretty douchy.
word
word
I’m just gonna say it. I entertain wild, long, hard fantasies about my author headshot. Moreso than the achievement of that one perfect word in its perfect paragraph in a perfect chapter of the best book over. I just want to make sure my author photo knocks it all home. Worship me, you dumbasses.
I’m just gonna say it. I entertain wild, long, hard fantasies about my author headshot. Moreso than the achievement of that one perfect word in its perfect paragraph in a perfect chapter of the best book over. I just want to make sure my author photo knocks it all home. Worship me, you dumbasses.
[…] Author photo failures. […]
I like the Dawkins photo. Looks like he isn’t trying.
I like the Dawkins photo. Looks like he isn’t trying.
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