Author News
“The Heart Is Deceitful” Perfume
Smell like a male teenage prostitute!
I own this perfume. I bought it back when J.T. Leroy was in Vanity Fair Magazine, singing in a band, and havng the likes of Tom Waits gush praises all over his ass. Now, I bought the perfume because the fact that there was a perfume cracked me up to no end. Also, I have a lot of perfume. And face creams. And so forth. I did read the infamous story collection and I read the whole thing. And to be frank, I didn’t think it was so great. I thought it felt contrived, but I didn’t hate it. I remember reading this one short story in Zoetrope by Mr. J.T. and laughing and I wasn’t supposed to laugh. I was supposed to go “Oh, man, that is deep and painful.” I thought today I would check to see if this perfume still existed. It does. Now, we all know the J.T. LeRoy scandal has been beaten to death with a million sticks, but did you know there was a perfume made in honor of Yosh’s “friend”, J.T. Leroy? No, you did not. You learned something today! And it relates to the history of literature! Any other perfumes of products named after books? Le’ts hear it.
Tags: J.T. LeRoy
It stinks.
It stinks.
have you worn it? or is it like an action figure, kept in its packaging?
have you worn it? or is it like an action figure, kept in its packaging?
It’s like an action figure. Although, maybe I’ll open it someday….I also have a barbie still in its box that has a pet dog that has dog food it eats and poops out. then, basically, you are supposed to feed the poo to the dog again. And that would be my entire collection of stuff.
I love reading the reviews. Here is one:
The first whiff buckled my knees and I swooned – I may have gasped. I know I stuttered. I dabbed it on my thumb base and ran skidding like a fiend from person to person mumbling “Drop everything and smell this, hurry”. I lost all decorum and I felt myself reeling (I’m a Virgo-I watch other people reel, I do not reel). The scent was opening up my brain like a nutcracker, like kundalini. I was Schliemann prying open the crumbling stone and dusting off the mummy, standing slack-jawed, humbled and giddy. Did I find it or did it find me? I smelled the bottom of my long dead aunt’s red leather clutchbag cluttered with tobacco debris and penniesg; I smelled Donna Karan’s brown and purple fig fallen ripe and bruised, probably kicked once or twice; I smelled the inner tube air that seeped out of my childhood bike. I smelled TJ, flip flops, Barbie Townhouse vinyl – the fair scene in Charlotte’s Web, Tom Robbins’ bath drain clogged with hair and shampoo. I smelled the shaker pods that used to get stuck in my skates, jacaranda sex in Santa Ana wind condition and Strawberry Crush (the can, not the drink). The sizzle of a steam iron on a stiff, orange piece of home-sewn twill. I can’t open that bottle for some time, I almost fear it. What a ride. What a tool of manipulation. What a masterpiece.
do you think someone would pay me to write stuff like that?
i have some yellow submarine action figures in their packaging. they are not as high-tech as your barbie.
do you think someone would pay me to write stuff like that?
i have some yellow submarine action figures in their packaging. they are not as high-tech as your barbie.
Ryan, I won’t pay you, but if you find another perfume named after a short story collection, I’ll hoid you in very high esteem (which I already, do, but you know…)
does it actually have to be named after the collection, or can it share a name with one?
also, i think you were in a dream i had last night… my memory of it’s a bit fuzzy.
does it actually have to be named after the collection, or can it share a name with one?
also, i think you were in a dream i had last night… my memory of it’s a bit fuzzy.
Well, if there was one that shared a name with a collection that would be cool. But I think this might be the ONLY collection of stories that has a perfume named after it. Not sure.
I’m pleased you had a dream about me. Let’s hear it.
i’m guessing that is true. it would be an awesome distinction to have as a writer.
i don’t really remember it… i had like eighty different dreams last night (like my brain was channel surfing or something)… but i woke up at one point a bit excited and was like “woah, pr was in my dream.”
i’m guessing that is true. it would be an awesome distinction to have as a writer.
i don’t really remember it… i had like eighty different dreams last night (like my brain was channel surfing or something)… but i woke up at one point a bit excited and was like “woah, pr was in my dream.”
nice. I’m flattered. I’m watching Fed Cup on the tennis channel- I have a house full of boys, a sleepover. Fed Cup is boring.
i’m sorry… things aren’t that much more interesting here, if that’s any help. especially now that i’m searching through thousands of perfume names…
i’m sorry… things aren’t that much more interesting here, if that’s any help. especially now that i’m searching through thousands of perfume names…
perfume update: there’s apparently a perfume called Carnation from Mona di Orio that is dedicated to the writer Colette (who i’ve never heard of).
also, there’s a perfume called “Clean Baby Girl”
perfume update: there’s apparently a perfume called Carnation from Mona di Orio that is dedicated to the writer Colette (who i’ve never heard of).
also, there’s a perfume called “Clean Baby Girl”
Nice work, Ryan. Inspired by a writer of artist is one thing- naming a perfume after a short story collection?
Carnations. I read Gigi and Cheri. Colette rocks. Love her. But I am unclear if she had a book called “Carnation”. Hmm. May have to research this.
Nicki de st. phalle, a rad ass artist, who was with some writer whose name escapes me, had a perfume named after her. She used to shoot her paintings. I like her. But – one, she was an artist. Not a writer. And the perfume was named after her, not one of her works. I think The Heart is Deceitful may be the only perfume named after a short story collection. call guiness world book of records!
Clean baby girl is funny.
I’m guessing I will fail to find anything else named after a collection… or even a novel. But after that dream I can’t help but try and impress you.
There is also one called Full Metal Jacket… the best part of that is that it isn’t a men’s cologne, which would have made a bit more sense to me…
I’m guessing I will fail to find anything else named after a collection… or even a novel. But after that dream I can’t help but try and impress you.
There is also one called Full Metal Jacket… the best part of that is that it isn’t a men’s cologne, which would have made a bit more sense to me…
It’s a lady’s perfume? that is funny. I’ll go look it up-
and now you can make your own perfume!: http://www.perfumeprojects.com/
PR brand fragrances!
and now you can make your own perfume!: http://www.perfumeprojects.com/
PR brand fragrances!
the smell of cigs, vodka, and and what? i don’t want to imagine- mgiht be bad. the gym? steak? I just grossed myself out.
i’m sure it’d be divine
i’m sure it’d be divine
I think not. But I do shower regularly and I wear other perfumes, although not the jt leroy one. there are some really funny customer reviews about the massive rashes it gave them-
rashes? woah. i suppose that might be part of the leroy experience, though. maybe it was intentional.
rashes? woah. i suppose that might be part of the leroy experience, though. maybe it was intentional.
here’s a quote-
lovely scent, but watch out for massoia oil…it is considered an irritant in most of the literature I’ve read, and can cause sensitization if used often enough. I had to give my expensive bottle away because i broke out in a red itchy rash, and then the woman I gave it to experienced the same reaction! We are both perfume addicts, and have never had a problem with other perfumes.
and there are others. too funny.
is it still on the market?!
is it still on the market?!
i think so.
wow. and with all that good press!
wow. and with all that good press!
Hi Ryan. I am drunk. I appreciate you being home. How old are your sons? Miine are 12 and 9.
hi pr :) i am jealous that you are drunk! my sons are 10 and 7 months.
hi pr :) i am jealous that you are drunk! my sons are 10 and 7 months.
Little guys. They still give you hugs, to say the least. I miss their bodies, but you know that from reading my Calvino piece. When I was in it, in the life of small children, I didn’t know what I had. You can’t know it tilll it goes away.But then it is like a hole. I missing.
i’m still new to it all. the ten year old is my stepson, and he’s only been in my life for two years, so i’m still learning the ropes. i never saw myself as a dad, but i’m really loving playing with the baby and everything, and helping the older one with his homework or taking him to the skate park.
i’m still new to it all. the ten year old is my stepson, and he’s only been in my life for two years, so i’m still learning the ropes. i never saw myself as a dad, but i’m really loving playing with the baby and everything, and helping the older one with his homework or taking him to the skate park.
I missing was a terrible typo. But you forgive me? I am always learning the ropes. That is life.Smashedola. Childreen are this wild gift.
there is nothing to forgive, but i will always forgive you.
there is nothing to forgive, but i will always forgive you.
all right, i’m shutting down the ol’ laptop to watch the new woody allen movie. feel free to email me any drunken adorations ;) and have a good night
all right, i’m shutting down the ol’ laptop to watch the new woody allen movie. feel free to email me any drunken adorations ;) and have a good night
There’s a perfume named after a baseball player from Venezuela who wasn’t very good. It is called “Chacin”. Watching Chacin pitch for the Blue Jays always made me very nervous. He got wins somehow but five run leads would turn into one-run “squeakers”. I don’t know if he was just especially cavalier or what. He had a good perfume name though. There was also a pitcher on the Blue Jays from Argentina (I think) who had a couple of books of poetry, I guess that is the “lit” connection.
There’s a perfume named after a baseball player from Venezuela who wasn’t very good. It is called “Chacin”. Watching Chacin pitch for the Blue Jays always made me very nervous. He got wins somehow but five run leads would turn into one-run “squeakers”. I don’t know if he was just especially cavalier or what. He had a good perfume name though. There was also a pitcher on the Blue Jays from Argentina (I think) who had a couple of books of poetry, I guess that is the “lit” connection.
your posts always cheer me up!
your posts always cheer me up!
Keep working, great job with this useful blog!
Keep working, great job with this useful blog!