October 14th, 2008 / 12:14 am
Author Spotlight

i am a sucky piece of shit and i suck at writing

i feel perhaps my last post misrepresented my meanness.  sure i hate everyone, but the person i really hate, and towards whom i am most unfair in my meanness, is myself.  you see, i totally suck.  and so here is some meanness directed towards the real piece of shit garbage asshole in the internet community, me:

you are an unhappy fuck who will never have kids or anyone to smile at without being accused of creepiness.  you are an ugly man.  you have never benefitted anyone’s life aside from leaving it alone.  your best writing, if there is anything whatsover of any quality, is behind you.  you are basically a sperm that flipped out of your dad’s underwear and grew legs after one of your dad’s wet dreams.  you sleep on the floor of your apartment and sometimes you feel too destroyed to even drink water.  you have lived in over eighteen homes so you cannot form a lasting relationship with anyone.  you are a failure.  you will probably live a long life but accomplish nothing.  maybe you will be on tv once if you accidentally walk by where a reporter is filming.  you feel terrible when you see other people smiling and you see no difference between a person and a sock except when you come in the person you know for a fact they are not happy, the sock maybe but you’re not really sure, i mean you know.  you will be found in a closet somewhere surrounded by garbage and you will disappoint everyone you have ever known.  plus you suck at all video games created after golden eye.  you use slang that is just outside of cool, like “that’s the bomb yo” or “see you on the flipside, mac”.  you are terrible, you terrible person you.

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16 Comments

  1. Blake Butler

      “maybe you will be on tv once if you accidentally walk by where a reporter is filming.” i just bit my tongue laughing, is that possible?

  2. Blake Butler

      “maybe you will be on tv once if you accidentally walk by where a reporter is filming.” i just bit my tongue laughing, is that possible?

  3. Bradley Sands

      I think I suck at all video games that came after Golden Eye too. My friend wanted so set himself on fire and run past a reporter who is filming. I don’t think he did it. My other friend set his jacket on fire with gasoline and videotaped himself and ran through his backyard and threw off his jacket: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpPCiXLQTBQ

  4. Bradley Sands

      I think I suck at all video games that came after Golden Eye too. My friend wanted so set himself on fire and run past a reporter who is filming. I don’t think he did it. My other friend set his jacket on fire with gasoline and videotaped himself and ran through his backyard and threw off his jacket: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpPCiXLQTBQ

  5. sam

      blake is the best at picking pictures to accompany posts. the one for this one made me lol like a motherfucker.

  6. sam

      blake is the best at picking pictures to accompany posts. the one for this one made me lol like a motherfucker.

  7. ryan manning

      hits are rising

  8. ryan manning

      hits are rising

  9. Jimmy Chen

      “too destroyed to even drink water”
      i like that

  10. Jimmy Chen

      “too destroyed to even drink water”
      i like that

  11. sam

      bradley, you suck at everything.

      ryan, the fucking hits are rising.

      jimmy, i would say thank you, but, the rules of mean week restrict such behavior. so fuck you.

  12. sam

      bradley, you suck at everything.

      ryan, the fucking hits are rising.

      jimmy, i would say thank you, but, the rules of mean week restrict such behavior. so fuck you.

  13. Alicia

      i feel like the tiny umbrella in the drink that kid is sitting so close to.

  14. Alicia

      i feel like the tiny umbrella in the drink that kid is sitting so close to.

  15. daniel bailey

      sam pink, i love you.

  16. daniel bailey

      sam pink, i love you.