March 31st, 2009 / 4:37 pm
Author Spotlight

I Love Bingo Gazingo So Fucking Much I Can’t Shit

definitely not reciting poetry

definitely not reciting poetry


Bingo Gazingo is some kind of old man who writes and performs ‘songs’ without any accompanying instruments. He insists that it is not poetry. Poetry is too limiting for him.

From an article from the new york times website:
“Poets are all in their right place,” [Bingo] always explains, “but a songwriter can go anywhere.”

Huh? Anyways.

You can find his stuff on his myspace page

Here are the ‘lyrics’ to one of his ‘songs.’
No, it really is a song. Some other band added music.
It’s a really good song.

you’re out of the computer 
written by bingo gazingo

you don’t exist

you’re off my list

you’re just an intruder

you’re out of the computer

i didn’t abuse you

i didn’t shoot you

i just took you
 out of the computer

and i turned my head
 and i said
 “you couldn’t be cuter
”
but you’re out of the computer

because you’re the world’s worst slacker

and i’m the world’s greatest hacker
i didn’t know
 you were a hooter
you’re out of the computer
what does a hooter mean? it’s a breast? yeah.
i took you out of my heart with a roto router

and i ran you over with my brand new scooter

and i turned my head 
and i said
 “you’re out of the computer
”
cause you’re the world’s worst programmer

and i’m the world’s greatest hacker

you were the one i would die for

you were the one i would climb the sky for

you were my lover 
but you made me suffer

when you became 
the world’s greatest surfer

now you’re 
out of the computer
you were subline

but you were offline

with the online
do i have to draw you
 a diaroma

you’re the world’s worst scammer

you’re the world’s worst slammer

i wish things could be smoother

but they couldn’t be blacker

i’m the world’s greatest hacker

i’m the world’s greatest hijacker

i’m the world’s greatest…
i’m the world’s greatest hacker
and you’re the world’s worst…
limburger… i don’t know… fuck it…
i took away your key

i took away your mouse

i’m a turkey

i’m a louse

i threw you out of the house

and now you’re out of the computer

and even if you yell “i need a key!” 
you ain’t getting back

cause you’re out of the computer
i spent wonderful moments 
in your components

get out of my memory

get your digitals out of my modules

get your mish-mash out of my macintosh

or i’ll hit you with a swiss wrist watch

you showed them your modem

and as sure as my name is yahuda

you’re out of the computer
we were riding down the highway

when you put your hand up my byway

and you tried to sell me a floppy of my biopsy

and a copy of my autopsy

you looked in my iris

and you gave me a virus

you took away my lap desk

you took away my website

you took away my disk drive

you took away my database 

and you drove away with my jalopy 

and you scrambled my scanner

and you took away my banner 

you’re the world’s worst home shopper

you’re the world’s worst pornographer

and if you see me first
 you say hello

and if i see you first
 i’ll say hello
hi hello 
hello hi
LOG OFF!
You’re out of the computer

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16 Comments

  1. Blake Butler

      that dude wins

  2. Blake Butler

      that dude wins

  3. Ken Baumann

      Wow.

  4. Ken Baumann

      Wow.

  5. Nathan Tyree

      oh my

  6. Nathan Tyree

      oh my

  7. sasha

      nonstop championship winning is what just happened.

  8. sasha

      nonstop championship winning is what just happened.

  9. ben blum

      holy shit, played this dude’s computer song on my radio show in college, but it was a different and way better version on an album called “songs in the key of z” that i recommend to basically everyone. http://www.keyofz.com/keyofz/z2.html. every single dude on this album wins, especially thoth, http://www.skthoth.com, who used to be a street dude winner but has since gotten semi-famous and started winning in a more in-actual-world style.

  10. ben blum

      holy shit, played this dude’s computer song on my radio show in college, but it was a different and way better version on an album called “songs in the key of z” that i recommend to basically everyone. http://www.keyofz.com/keyofz/z2.html. every single dude on this album wins, especially thoth, http://www.skthoth.com, who used to be a street dude winner but has since gotten semi-famous and started winning in a more in-actual-world style.

  11. matthew savoca

      jk lol

  12. matthew savoca

      jk lol

  13. crispin

      any grammies he was eligible for and didn’t win were a miscarriage of justice

  14. crispin

      any grammies he was eligible for and didn’t win were a miscarriage of justice

  15. Kane

      RIP to this crazy man

  16. Kane

      RIP to this crazy man