Contests
HTMLGIANT Wants to Know (a contest):
Greetings dear readers of important literature,
I am trying to clean up my dirty frathouse look so that people can take me seriously.
What should I do with these hairs that are coming up out of my shirt?
Like, they aren’t quite chest hairs and they aren’t quite neck hairs? So do I shave them? Or clip them? Or pluck them? Something else? Another thing?
Turtlenecks are not an option, because I live in Houston, Texas, and summer is coming soon.
I am really serious about being taken seriously here. I need to be taken seriously so that I can one day get a job in the real world and make money for my family, because I’m going to have a family one day, and probably a mortgage :( so yeah.
So any grooming tips are welcome and encouraged. If you want, post in the comments section those grooming tips. Person who submits best grooming tip (funniest? most succesful? creativest? meanest? i dont konw) will receive a really old copy of Barry Yourgrau’s Wearing Dad’s Head and maybe some hair clippings or something. So be sure to include a real email so I can email you.
Okay, bye, thank you!
Now I’m going to go make a resume.
***UPDATE***
Wearing Dad’s Head goes to Joe Young, because he made me remember how much I loved watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as a kid. Thanks, Joe, for the memories.
Tags: Barry Yourgrau
This is very immature.
Pluck! Clearly pluck.
Barry Yourgrau, i forgot about him. I have that head book somewhere. I can’t remember the words
This is very immature.
Pluck! Clearly pluck.
Barry Yourgrau, i forgot about him. I have that head book somewhere. I can’t remember the words
i want to suck on your hair neck spot and leave monster purple hickey.
ryan call + jereme dean
eternal love
4 lyfe
i want to suck on your hair neck spot and leave monster purple hickey.
ryan call + jereme dean
eternal love
4 lyfe
sucking on hair neck spot is a very creativ grooming tip. jereme dean is in the lead currently.
4 lyfe, bro.
sucking on hair neck spot is a very creativ grooming tip. jereme dean is in the lead currently.
4 lyfe, bro.
yeah, i found it used. and bought it, but then found another copy already on my bookshelf. i havent read it yet.
plucking hurts!
yeah, i found it used. and bought it, but then found another copy already on my bookshelf. i havent read it yet.
plucking hurts!
live in the woods. it will be good to have neck hair there.
live in the woods. it will be good to have neck hair there.
Have your wife bite them off. That’s what we do around here. It hurts but then you can, um, bite her back? I don’t know. I am the writer “of the dumbest thing someone has ever read”.
I’m going to go smoke a bowl now and watch the three tim and eric’s I have dvded.
Have your wife bite them off. That’s what we do around here. It hurts but then you can, um, bite her back? I don’t know. I am the writer “of the dumbest thing someone has ever read”.
I’m going to go smoke a bowl now and watch the three tim and eric’s I have dvded.
you should pluck them and examine/ingest the roots
it’s called tricotillomania
i did not spell that right
you should pluck them and examine/ingest the roots
it’s called tricotillomania
i did not spell that right
god pr, if you and your husband ever go on ‘break’ we are totally having hard smelly sex.
i am going to monkey fuck you. you are that hot.
god pr, if you and your husband ever go on ‘break’ we are totally having hard smelly sex.
i am going to monkey fuck you. you are that hot.
woah is that real jimmy?
woah is that real jimmy?
wiki it bro, and relax.
wiki it bro, and relax.
i like this ‘relax’ thing you are saying jimmy.
it should be added to our tagline.
HTMLGIANT: the internet literature magazine blog of the future, relax
go on “break”- I love it.
“break” time!!!
i like this ‘relax’ thing you are saying jimmy.
it should be added to our tagline.
HTMLGIANT: the internet literature magazine blog of the future, relax
Take a cue from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: construct a device that vacuums the hair forward, off your neck, and then trims it to the proper length. Watch out for angry tough guys when the device does comedic things.
Take a cue from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: construct a device that vacuums the hair forward, off your neck, and then trims it to the proper length. Watch out for angry tough guys when the device does comedic things.
i am relaxed. wtf. now you just set me off and i am angry again.
i am relaxed. wtf. now you just set me off and i am angry again.
melt a lolipop on it and then let it dry and then rip it off. Then eat it- tastier than waxing, That’s what we do around here with my bikini line.
Just carve the whole thing out with a dull knife, roots and all. When the scar tissue grows back, it’s usually hairless. This is cheaper then electrolisis or laser work and is proven to be more permanent. It’s what we did around here when I still had underarm hair (all gone now!!!)
I watched a skinwatchers? savers? – some werewolf movie last night while leaving my “dumbest thing I”ve ever read” comments last night and werewolf’s have real problems with hair! How they handle it is get shot to death and blown up with bombs and burn to death in car fires and explode and stuff. Then, no hair! Just a thought.
Also, if you pour boiling water all over your neck, it works similarly to the dull knife thing. That’s what we did when I still had leg hair- now, no leg hair! Man, I save so much money of razors. Ah, nice.
i would like to survive the treatment!
i would like to survive the treatment!
this is the dumbest thing ive ever read about the “the dumbest thing i’ve ever read” comment.
this is the dumbest thing ive ever read about the “the dumbest thing i’ve ever read” comment.
Skinwalkers! That was the name of the movie. It was ass, just how I like my movies while drinking and writing “the dumbest thing anyone has ever written” comments of the giant. Ahh. Skinwalkers! They now have no skin (except for the three survived- oops! spoiler alert…sorry) and no hair! Before that, they got all hairy when the full moon came out. So, Ryan, if you want to get rid of your hair, don’t be a werewolf and stay away from the full moon. Thank you.
Tie each hair to a string and then tie the other end of the string to a doorknob. Okay? Now stand back so the string is almost tight and then have your wife slam the door. This is what my dad did with my loose teeth, but it should also work with your pubish hair.
Tie each hair to a string and then tie the other end of the string to a doorknob. Okay? Now stand back so the string is almost tight and then have your wife slam the door. This is what my dad did with my loose teeth, but it should also work with your pubish hair.
“cliche”
“cliche”
Oh, sorry everybody.
Oh, sorry everybody.
I couldn’t concentrate on the hair…those freckles freaked me out, Ryan. They are so small but vibrant. They look dangerous.
Maybe get some really spicy bbq sauce from Pappas or Goode…that might get rid of the freckles and the hair.
** update ** at least one of the freckles, indeed the most worrisome one, turns out to be a piece of my lunch clinging to the screen
I couldn’t concentrate on the hair…those freckles freaked me out, Ryan. They are so small but vibrant. They look dangerous.
Maybe get some really spicy bbq sauce from Pappas or Goode…that might get rid of the freckles and the hair.
** update ** at least one of the freckles, indeed the most worrisome one, turns out to be a piece of my lunch clinging to the screen
i am just saying bring your A game or stay home.
i expect better from you.
i am just saying bring your A game or stay home.
i expect better from you.
hahahaha
thats like formt hat movie, uh, hot shots, when wash out sneezes on the radar screen!
hahahaha
thats like formt hat movie, uh, hot shots, when wash out sneezes on the radar screen!
Carefully comb them each day. Take pre-natal vitamins to encourage growth. Use a leave in conditioner. As they lengthen and strengthen, eventually you can braid them, then toss the braid jauntily over your shoulder. This will excite, and titilate employers.
Carefully comb them each day. Take pre-natal vitamins to encourage growth. Use a leave in conditioner. As they lengthen and strengthen, eventually you can braid them, then toss the braid jauntily over your shoulder. This will excite, and titilate employers.
nice get.
by the way, a mortgage is nothing but a thang, as my broker tells me. i need some scuba equipment for mine but otherwise living the dream.
jauntily puts this in the “w” column
nice get.
by the way, a mortgage is nothing but a thang, as my broker tells me. i need some scuba equipment for mine but otherwise living the dream.
jauntily puts this in the “w” column
isn’t this a skittles commercial?
isn’t this a skittles commercial?
blasphemer!
grow them really long and then braid them and sell them to those people who make horsehair braids dipped in candy for kids to chew on.
blasphemer!
“W”. Like that guy that was emperor or something? I don’t wanna be in that column.
“W”. Like that guy that was emperor or something? I don’t wanna be in that column.
I have three thangs!
http://i.gizmodo.com/5203947/rem-spring-will-remove-unwanted-hairs-lubricated-by-your-tears
thanks, ryan!
thanks, ryan!
chitty chitty bang bang is one of the gayest movies ryan. wtf.
the idea ‘is there a porn named chitty chitty gang bang’ just popped into my head. i am at work and cannot google it.
can some one else for me? i am curious now.
chitty chitty bang bang is one of the gayest movies ryan. wtf.
the idea ‘is there a porn named chitty chitty gang bang’ just popped into my head. i am at work and cannot google it.
can some one else for me? i am curious now.
oh yes. and then some. itty bitty titty gang bang 2 anyone? I just got sad.
why are you sad?
fuck i do like me some itty bitty titties.
that’s small boobs. not boobs on 11 year olds in case any one was confused.
although i have seen some 11 year olds with some big ass titties.
it is strange like a car with a protruding rhino horn on the hood.
just odd.
why are you sad?
fuck i do like me some itty bitty titties.
that’s small boobs. not boobs on 11 year olds in case any one was confused.
although i have seen some 11 year olds with some big ass titties.
it is strange like a car with a protruding rhino horn on the hood.
just odd.
“in case anyone was confused.” haha- you are funny.