Contests
Win Limited Edition Prints from There is No Year
Pardon the shameless self post, but it’ll be quick: Harper Perennial has agreed to give away framed, original limited edition prints of three images created by Justin Dodd that appear in There is No Year (examples of which are above). There are two ways one can win:
(1) The book includes information of the odd deaths of certain young celebrities. An example: “Rainer Werner Fassbinder died with a cigarette in his mouth and blood pouring from one nostril.” Comment here with some kind of information of this sort about a person that doesn’t appear in the book, also in one sentence.
(2) Take a picture of yourself close to a mirror holding the book and put it somewhere online, then post a link here.
Three winners will be selected (1 or 2 by choice from the death facts, 1 or 2 at random from the pictures) to received a framed edition of one print of any image in the book, your choice, or I will choose for you. Others chosen at random from the celeb facts may receive a copy of the book.
Winners be selected this Sunday.
Thanks for the indulgence.
Tags: Justin Dodd, there is no year
Bison Dele went to sea and has never returned.
Blake Butler stayed awake for a thousand years and then closed his eyes forever.
Blake Butler stayed awake for a thousand years and then closed his eyes forever.
Anthony Burgess died 34 years after he was told he had a year to live.
Anthony Burgess died 34 years after he was told he had a year to live.
Mark Rothko sliced his wrists at the kitchen sink shortly after his doctor told him to work on paintings no larger than one yard in height.
Terje “Valfar” Bakken froze to death in woods of Fagereggi after giving up the search for his family’s remote cabin.
One day Rosie O’Donnell was walking around the financial district when all of a sudden 9/11 fell on her and crushed her to death.
whoops, typo:
Terje “Valfar” Bakken froze to death in the woods of Fagereggi after giving up the search for his family’s remote cabin.
Frank O’Hara’s body was found in a festoon of paper sheets and candy necklaces.
Lela from Futurama was shopping for future fruit (fruiture) when all her organs spilled out her faulty cunt.
(Let me know if more than one entry is not allowed)
enter as many times as you like
Aubrey Beardsley’s expired corpse was found outside a Big & Tall outlet today; Mrs. Winchester of Suffolk described the scene in “oo’s” and “ew’s.”
Frank DeCaro once was.
Klaus Kinski died peaceably in his sleep.
Bas Jan Ader was lost at sea attempting a solo crossing of the Atlantic in a 13 ft pocket cruiser.
The caveman from Geico died before he hit the ground, mid-flail, spinning away from the trebuchet like a hairy pinwheel.
George “The Animal” Steele died of a broken heart, and SARS.
Anarchist assassin Luigi Lucheni, killer of Empress Elizabeth, hanged himself after two decades in the prison by the sea, where the dock workers could time their shift changes with his screams thanks to the precision and regularity of the jailers’ beatings.
Anarchist assassin Luigi Lucheni wrote in his diaries that if he could not kill the Emperor himself he would be happy to settle for any other member of the ruling class, so he stabbed Empress Elizabeth in the heart with a triangular file, then spent 20 years being beaten in prison before hanging himself with a belt on October 18, 1910.
Someone’s son died onstage at the OPRAH finale, the last thing audible to him being a few hundred women screaming, “Do it, Dennis! Do it!”
Hah-hah.
“The Animal” is alive and well and living in retiremment in Florida (where else?), truth be told. But I think this one deserves to win a print. Not that it’s up to me.
Benjamin Lee Whorf died– or is dead or has been dead or continues in death or was dead or becomes dead or dies or was dies or has die or just plain dead or deads or deaded or die or die ord ie o r d i e d idea d –having published a study of the grammar and odd temporal expression of the Hopi language.
Mark Linkous pulled the trigger on his heart in the Underware Capital of the World.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt was found dangling from a ceiling
fan by a Hugo Boss skinny tie as Tyler the Creator’s “Yonkers” blared
from a MacBook on the leather ottoman below. Later deemed as a societal
dream-within-a-dream, Levitt lived to the age of 43, when he died just as
tragically to the first ever case of adult onset harlequin ichthyosis. At his
memorial service, mourners proceeded to kiss his cold diamond-shaped scales,
comforting themselves with the idea that wherever he was, every day was summer.
Jane Davis died like she said and was carried out in a box.
It was amazing and shocking, but after being poisoned, shot three times, and having been beaten with a dumbbell, Rasputin was still alive.
Bert died of Ernie’s AIDS.
Bert died of Ernie’s AIDS.
ka pow
alturl.com/dvxpf
Such a shame I died yesterday, not being famous and all, but Genet telegraphed me a sweet photo of his “sugarshack” in the ground, writing: I feel a little silly to say it but I can’t stop thinking of your skull; I can’t wait to meet you here, I’ll make you famous!
Is it too soon to mention the Macho Man?
The name Dennis is the cherry on top.
winner
http://justintylerchandler.blogspot.com/2011/05/fun-diversion.html
derp.
tinyurl.com/2df4ccp
DJ Screw worked himself to death–the codeine worked wonders.
alturl.com/dvxpf
tinyurl.com/2df4ccp
Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease.
Lou Gehrig might not have died of Lou Gehrig’s disease: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2011489,00.html
Winner!
tinyurl.com/2df4ccp
alturl.com/dvxpf
1. The ceiling fan still made the scraping sound, old Diet Coke
was soaking the brown paper bag Steve used for recycling, and he was on the
floor, butted against the kitchen table, his colon turgid and growing.
2. Phil did not wear his favorite Roos with the zipper pocket,
an Indian head penny in both the left and right, the day he told Jake he could
jump off the shed, over the chain-link, and into Brusky’s yard.
3. The bridge had a suicide watch camera positioned every sixty
feet, but Song-min fell with his back to the river so he could stare down that
camera, show it what was what.
4. Another bed, another note, another half-drunk glass of now
stilled water, but Samuel was sure to clip his nails, file them, and leave a
small cairn, his hardened bits behind.
5. Why the record was left to spin when we want a fact, a fact,
a fact, and here it is: the cream cheese had been moldy before she learned to
load a shotgun.
6. Rest home: but the boy calls it “Old Fogey’s Home,” and
Grandma is there in the bed while the parents are eating Jell-o cups in the
lobby; she raises her arms up, revealing sweat rings in the armpits, and the
boy waits for a wash of feeling, yet all he can cling to is the hope that Mom
will bring him orange like he asked.
7. A silver Q-tip was in her ear since birth, but through
tremendous will she did not touch it until her golden birthday on a 31st
because that was the day, and it was.
8. The facts of death in the jungle are the same for all men:
there will be trees and greenness and animal sounds and soft earth and
momentary pain and the insects will become beautiful and if it is raining—Lord, if
it is raining–thought Kansas Jim from a Kansas lawn chair in a Kansas yard,
his kid squeezing the last of the mustard onto a Johsonville, banging it on the
glass table, But it will break, it will break John Jr., so please just use two
hands because you will break the damn table.
http://www.cassandratroyan.com/2011/05/blog-post.html
Dylan Thomas said “I’ve had 18 whiskeys and I do believe that is the record” and then died.
an hour after buying a brand new 1955 oldsmobile in houston, johnny ace played a show at the city auditorium; between sets he got loaded and started pointing his .32 pistol at people, when someone said, be careful with that thing, johnny said, gun’s not loaded, see! put it to his head, smiled, and shot himself.
shortly after his cover of ‘I fought that law’ became a top 10 hit, bobby fuller was found dead in his car outside a hollywood apartment, with a gasoline-soaked rag in his mouth and bruises on his body; his death was said, by the LAPD, to be a suicide.
three months after recording a slew of the most important delta blues songs of all time, including ‘hang it on the wall’ and ‘oh death’, charley patton died of heart-disease and not one single newspaper published an obituary.
Albert Dekker, American charactor actor and politician, was found dead kneeling in his bathtub, a noose around his neck, scarf tied over his eyes, horse’s bit in his mouth, bound in a menagerie of leather belts, hand-cuffed, with the words “whip” on his right buttock, “make me suck” on his throat, and a drawing of a vagina on his stomach all in red lipstick.
tinyurl.com/2df4ccp
Reader discovered that David Markson died June 4, 2010 in
his Greenwich Village apartment in New York—Markson was 82 and not an anti-Semite.
tinyurl.com/2df4ccp
tinyurl.com/297sxrk
tinyurl.com/2df4ccp
David Markson died alone, not young, not even a
celebrity.
Markson.
Writer is pretty much tempted to quit entering contests with strict guidelines.
Writer is weary unto death of trying to win anything.
Annabel Leigh did not come out well…and four months later she died of typhus in Corfu
My dad died in combat for the celebrity status on Memorial Day.
Jesus Christ, I am a horrible horrible person.
There was no way for Sam to know someone broke into his house and murdered his mother in the kitchen for he was upstairs with headphones on playing Counter Strike.
The prepositional phrase died from overexposure in Frank Tas’s most recent sentence entry.
Tao Lin was found dead in a toilet cubicle at Bobst Library shortly after tweeting: “discerned ‘~85% genuine’ urge to ‘off myself’ after overhearing ‘born this way’ by lady gaga from earphones of obese asian man in library”
Oprah’s best friend Gale died with O’s vag juice giveaway leaking from her mouth.
yum
Vachel “Mumbo-Jumbo will hoo-doo you” Lindsay committed suicide by drinking a bottle of
Lysol. December 5, 1931. Final words: “They tried to get me. I got them first!”
http://tld30.com/?UQHAvj
ta.gg/53c
Ernie didn’t raise the seat? – and Bert didn’t check?!
No no no! It’s nothing like that.
What happened was Bert had unprotected anal sex with Ernie.
You image doctors – always with the boffo-box-office spin.
An eagle dropped a turtle on Aeschylus’s head, killing the person. Euripides was torn to pieces by hunting dogs hunting.
You who are reading this, you are not dead yet. Others who did are.
http://tld30.com/?UQHAvj
ta.gg/53c
http://tld30.com/?UQHAvj
ta.gg/53c
The man with the half-beard (what was his name?) was worried when he went out of the house–they were falling around him; bouncing against the ground and spraying him (what was it?)–he went inside for the poncho and boots (was it?–no); they fell faster as he walked: ‘I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine’ (my mouth wants to say it) blinking the spatter out of his eyes: ‘I’ll be fine’; walking against the wind (can you remember?) ‘I’ll be fine’ (remember?) spraying against him: ‘I’ll be fine’ (REMEMBER?) coughing and wiping his face with his palm: ‘I’ll be fine’ (why can’t you remember); the noise of it thick, the noise of it wet, poncho (name?) dripping walking falling spraying (I’ll be fine) leaning coughing squinting (illbefineillbefine) until: he joined them–he’ll be fine.
James Frey passed away quietly after a game of extreme Truth or Dare, in which neither option was possible. (Actually, he whined a great deal but it appeared silent as the audience was wearing ear plugs.)
“Winners be selected this Sunday.” Who won?
The winners are Cassandra and Monee for the photo posts and Shane Jones and Andrew Weatherhead for the photos. Drop me yr addresses and presents will exist. Thanks to everyone for playing.