November 19th, 2009 / 3:03 am
Craft Notes

Authotrope

LOBSTER BABYThere should be a Duotrope-like thing for editors, where editors can report info on their submitters, like how many times each author submits work that shows they’ve completely ignored the guidelines and/or even the general tastelines of the magazine, how many submissions and follow up emails they’ve sent within a certain period, the average rate at which those submitters are rejected, and how many issues of the magazine that submitter has actually bought, and some other bonus crud. “Man, Joey Larfdensen is so irresponsible! Another 40 second period between one rejection and the next submission? Another vampiric baby-biting neo-noir story to our parenting magazine? A personal response to our personal response saying what a bunch of ‘tasteless bongdicks’ we are? He’s just not treating us editors fairly, I say!” Democracy! Peeyawww!

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226 Comments

  1. james yeh

      you’re funny tonight blake

  2. james yeh

      you’re funny tonight blake

  3. Roxane

      Yes. Yes. Yes. Good times.

  4. Roxane

      Yes. Yes. Yes. Good times.

  5. george splittorf

      would just lead to more writers using lame pseudonyms like george splittorf

  6. george splittorf

      would just lead to more writers using lame pseudonyms like george splittorf

  7. michael james

      is that a baby in a pot?

  8. michael james

      is that a baby in a pot?

  9. Ryan Call

      i want red lobster now

  10. Ryan Call

      i want red lobster now

  11. Mather Schneider

      very observant.

  12. Mather Schneider

      very observant.

  13. Mather Schneider

      They say they don’t feel anything in the boiling water but they scream like hell…

  14. Mather Schneider

      They say they don’t feel anything in the boiling water but they scream like hell…

  15. Matt Jasper

      But what if you are the majority of one who is correct that your work would fit in if seen? I know that most writers suffer from this delusion of adequacy yet there should be room for bubbling up beneath the feet of that which almost reflexively shuns the unfamiliarly unfamiliar. That the magazine in question has published similar work should be approximately respected, yet I believe in occasionally playing around a bit in a way that would (and probably should) have me Authotroped out of existence. I got into Grand Street years ago by a: having modestly written the best poems ever & b: researching Jean Stein’s extensive furniture collection and sending a five page letter mock-threatening to destroy a certain piece of it if rejected again. I also believe in mailing parodies of poems written by editors at POETRY fucking magazine etc. and then submitting them to POETRY fucking magazine. (I do not seek to waste their time, I seek to instruct) I had a poem rejected by EVERGREEN REVIEW yet I knew it would fit in so when it was rejected, I sent back my own form rejection rejecting their rejection and they looked again and took the poem.

      Upon reflection, I guess if such an Authotrope existed I would become a publisher so I could publish the best of the writers who scored the worst ratings.

  16. Matt Jasper

      But what if you are the majority of one who is correct that your work would fit in if seen? I know that most writers suffer from this delusion of adequacy yet there should be room for bubbling up beneath the feet of that which almost reflexively shuns the unfamiliarly unfamiliar. That the magazine in question has published similar work should be approximately respected, yet I believe in occasionally playing around a bit in a way that would (and probably should) have me Authotroped out of existence. I got into Grand Street years ago by a: having modestly written the best poems ever & b: researching Jean Stein’s extensive furniture collection and sending a five page letter mock-threatening to destroy a certain piece of it if rejected again. I also believe in mailing parodies of poems written by editors at POETRY fucking magazine etc. and then submitting them to POETRY fucking magazine. (I do not seek to waste their time, I seek to instruct) I had a poem rejected by EVERGREEN REVIEW yet I knew it would fit in so when it was rejected, I sent back my own form rejection rejecting their rejection and they looked again and took the poem.

      Upon reflection, I guess if such an Authotrope existed I would become a publisher so I could publish the best of the writers who scored the worst ratings.

  17. Mather Schneider

      “I sent back my own form rejection rejecting their rejection and they looked again and took the poem.”

      That is interesting. Did you rewrite the poem? Did they apologize or what? Strange…

  18. Mather Schneider

      “I sent back my own form rejection rejecting their rejection and they looked again and took the poem.”

      That is interesting. Did you rewrite the poem? Did they apologize or what? Strange…

  19. cmr

      editing’s a hard knock life yo

      but in the immortal words of Raybeez (rip)

      don’t forget the struggle. don’t forget the streets.

  20. cmr

      editing’s a hard knock life yo

      but in the immortal words of Raybeez (rip)

      don’t forget the struggle. don’t forget the streets.

  21. brandi

      that would fuck me up i think.
      i would feel shame.

  22. brandi

      that would fuck me up i think.
      i would feel shame.

  23. mark

      once saw a panel discussion with magazine editors, and the fiction ed from a prestigious litmag said that one time an author wrote her to say, “just got an acceptance from [not so prestigious litmag] for the story you’re considering from me. i’d rather publish with you, though — could you read it today?”

      the editor rejected the submission, then told the original magazine, who un-accepted it. so, haha, pwnd, don’t be a dick, etc.

      but the best and most paranoia-inducing part is she said she then told the story on a “listserve that lots of lit mag editors are on — yes, we talk to each other.”

  24. mark

      once saw a panel discussion with magazine editors, and the fiction ed from a prestigious litmag said that one time an author wrote her to say, “just got an acceptance from [not so prestigious litmag] for the story you’re considering from me. i’d rather publish with you, though — could you read it today?”

      the editor rejected the submission, then told the original magazine, who un-accepted it. so, haha, pwnd, don’t be a dick, etc.

      but the best and most paranoia-inducing part is she said she then told the story on a “listserve that lots of lit mag editors are on — yes, we talk to each other.”

  25. davidpeak

      wow. amazing. i want to hear more stories like this.

  26. davidpeak

      wow. amazing. i want to hear more stories like this.

  27. +00ooo-oooOO+

      Here’s looking at you, Mr. Erlewine.

  28. +00ooo-oooOO+

      Here’s looking at you, Mr. Erlewine.

  29. Matt Jasper

      Hello Mr. Schneider– There was no rewrite of the poem yet I think a rereading where it finally clicked. I like to think there was enough humor in my rejection of their rejection that it somehow was respectful of their time and the sad fact that maybe they (and many editors) valiantly slog and skim until their eyes glaze over. I don’t blame them. One can have a functioning antenna for only so long before the soul selects her society and the door shuts. I also had the title poem of my book form-rejected by The New Yorker years ago under Alice Quinn–who specifically (this can be confirmed) saw the poem when it appeared elsewhere and said she loved it and later confirmed that she’d never seen it before. Had it been passed on to her by her readers, it would have appeared in TNY. Yet maybe not. Quinn read it as typeset in another magazine she admired and that lent it an authority and familiarity that maybe it wouldn’t have had as typed on IBM Selectric Composer and unfolded beneath her.

  30. Matt Jasper

      Hello Mr. Schneider– There was no rewrite of the poem yet I think a rereading where it finally clicked. I like to think there was enough humor in my rejection of their rejection that it somehow was respectful of their time and the sad fact that maybe they (and many editors) valiantly slog and skim until their eyes glaze over. I don’t blame them. One can have a functioning antenna for only so long before the soul selects her society and the door shuts. I also had the title poem of my book form-rejected by The New Yorker years ago under Alice Quinn–who specifically (this can be confirmed) saw the poem when it appeared elsewhere and said she loved it and later confirmed that she’d never seen it before. Had it been passed on to her by her readers, it would have appeared in TNY. Yet maybe not. Quinn read it as typeset in another magazine she admired and that lent it an authority and familiarity that maybe it wouldn’t have had as typed on IBM Selectric Composer and unfolded beneath her.

  31. Lincoln

      If any of the Literary Rejection on Display people see this post there could be an internet lit war.

  32. Lincoln

      If any of the Literary Rejection on Display people see this post there could be an internet lit war.

  33. Jac Jemc

      Yes! There should be an editor at a really high-traffic magazine telling these stories regularly. I wanna hear!

      And go ahead and name names, I say. Maybe it will shame people into behaving themselves.

      Gotta love shame.

      In the immortal words of Sarah Kane: Shame, shame, shame. Drown in your fucking shame.

      I can’t tell if I’m in a good mood or a bad mood.

  34. Adam R

      That’s totally lame of that editor. Probably a narc by day.

  35. Jac Jemc

      Yes! There should be an editor at a really high-traffic magazine telling these stories regularly. I wanna hear!

      And go ahead and name names, I say. Maybe it will shame people into behaving themselves.

      Gotta love shame.

      In the immortal words of Sarah Kane: Shame, shame, shame. Drown in your fucking shame.

      I can’t tell if I’m in a good mood or a bad mood.

  36. Adam R

      That’s totally lame of that editor. Probably a narc by day.

  37. Jac Jemc

      I don’t know why I said an editor of a high traffic magazine – blah. I meant to just agree with Blake’s suggestion of a duotrope like site, but maybe a little more personal – not just stats.

  38. Jac Jemc

      I don’t know why I said an editor of a high traffic magazine – blah. I meant to just agree with Blake’s suggestion of a duotrope like site, but maybe a little more personal – not just stats.

  39. Blake Butler

      what a fart on both ends

  40. david erlewine

      If only I’d gone to Oberlin, not Ohio Wesleyan, I’d have stopped submitting earlier.

      Do you remember telling me that you hoped five Latino men raped the bad writing out of me? Great stuff.

  41. Blake Butler

      what a fart on both ends

  42. david erlewine

      If only I’d gone to Oberlin, not Ohio Wesleyan, I’d have stopped submitting earlier.

      Do you remember telling me that you hoped five Latino men raped the bad writing out of me? Great stuff.

  43. Blake Butler

      ‘yeah bro, there’s like this secret listserv. wish i could tell you more about it, but joey jarfenslefensensen at poetry would totally have my balls…’

  44. Blake Butler

      ‘yeah bro, there’s like this secret listserv. wish i could tell you more about it, but joey jarfenslefensensen at poetry would totally have my balls…’

  45. david erlewine

      I agree, I think it’s great to name names. I’ve outed myself for over-submitting to places like Eyeshot. I’m not submitting anything these days so I find it surreal how much I wanted to get into certain journals.

      A place like Authotrope would have gotten me to stop submitting long before Lee stopped accepting unsolicited subs. I’m pretty sure.

  46. david erlewine

      I agree, I think it’s great to name names. I’ve outed myself for over-submitting to places like Eyeshot. I’m not submitting anything these days so I find it surreal how much I wanted to get into certain journals.

      A place like Authotrope would have gotten me to stop submitting long before Lee stopped accepting unsolicited subs. I’m pretty sure.

  47. davidpeak

      as long as no one ever finds out how many times i’ve submitted to elimae, i’m totally cool with editors naming names.

  48. davidpeak

      as long as no one ever finds out how many times i’ve submitted to elimae, i’m totally cool with editors naming names.

  49. Craig Snyder

      I keep getting this image of editors chained to galley oars, and they all have long beards and are dirty and suffering, and nobody nobody is helping them with their pain.

  50. Craig Snyder

      I keep getting this image of editors chained to galley oars, and they all have long beards and are dirty and suffering, and nobody nobody is helping them with their pain.

  51. david erlewine

      ha ha

      strong piece in abjective by the by, another place that i’ve accepted will never publish me.

      my big diagnosis a few weeks ago has really put things into perspective for me. i haven’t opened duotrope “what’s new” since, a good sign.

  52. david erlewine

      ha ha

      strong piece in abjective by the by, another place that i’ve accepted will never publish me.

      my big diagnosis a few weeks ago has really put things into perspective for me. i haven’t opened duotrope “what’s new” since, a good sign.

  53. Mather Schneider

      My guess is that’s the first and only time that’s gonna work, but great story. You should put that on your cover letter.

  54. Mather Schneider

      My guess is that’s the first and only time that’s gonna work, but great story. You should put that on your cover letter.

  55. Mather Schneider

      Well, let’s see the poem.

  56. Mather Schneider

      Well, let’s see the poem.

  57. Mather Schneider

      So, name names!

  58. Mather Schneider

      Again, let’s hear some names tough guys.

  59. Mather Schneider

      So, name names!

  60. Mather Schneider

      Again, let’s hear some names tough guys.

  61. Mather Schneider

      pobrecitos…

  62. Mather Schneider

      pobrecitos…

  63. david erlewine

      i hope to fuck you are using “tough guys” ironically.

      i already named names – mine.

  64. Pete Brown

      Ok, so put your publish-worthy poems here:

  65. david erlewine

      i hope to fuck you are using “tough guys” ironically.

      i already named names – mine.

  66. Pete Brown

      Ok, so put your publish-worthy poems here:

  67. mark

      she seemed sincere, but afterward i did wonder if it’s not just a scary story to tell in the dark she trots out whenever she meets large groups of young writers.

      i’d name the ed, but i don’t want to go on the listserve. they could be monitoring this thread even now!

  68. mark

      she seemed sincere, but afterward i did wonder if it’s not just a scary story to tell in the dark she trots out whenever she meets large groups of young writers.

      i’d name the ed, but i don’t want to go on the listserve. they could be monitoring this thread even now!

  69. Mather Schneider

      Oh sorry yes you named yourself…and now you’re not interested in submitting anymore…so, great. “Hope to fuck” all you want, David.

  70. Mather Schneider

      Oh sorry yes you named yourself…and now you’re not interested in submitting anymore…so, great. “Hope to fuck” all you want, David.

  71. davidpeak

      thanks, david. i really appreciate that. also not going to mention how many times i subbed abjective before that finally happened.

  72. davidpeak

      thanks, david. i really appreciate that. also not going to mention how many times i subbed abjective before that finally happened.

  73. davidpeak

      you are a “recovering submitter” now?

  74. davidpeak

      you are a “recovering submitter” now?

  75. Matt Jasper
  76. Matt Jasper
  77. +00ooo-oooOO+

      I doubt I said that — I’d’ve said Orca whales, for we all know that Orca whales have monstrous apparati and care not about finesse.

  78. david erlewine

      naah, dp, i’m just not writing much short stuff these days. i’m sure down the road i’ll be back to my dumb tricks of oversubmitting to places.

      mather, i hope you got the irony of my hope to fuck comment. it’s as ridiculous as tough guys. damn, man, you are one angry guy. i can picture you pounding your desk after every triumphant retort.

  79. +00ooo-oooOO+

      I doubt I said that — I’d’ve said Orca whales, for we all know that Orca whales have monstrous apparati and care not about finesse.

  80. david erlewine

      naah, dp, i’m just not writing much short stuff these days. i’m sure down the road i’ll be back to my dumb tricks of oversubmitting to places.

      mather, i hope you got the irony of my hope to fuck comment. it’s as ridiculous as tough guys. damn, man, you are one angry guy. i can picture you pounding your desk after every triumphant retort.

  81. david erlewine

      well, yeah, that does sound more like you

      would have been a double whammy since it would have referenced one of my favorite childhood movies

  82. david erlewine

      well, yeah, that does sound more like you

      would have been a double whammy since it would have referenced one of my favorite childhood movies

  83. david erlewine

      as mentioned above, i don’t have any more names, senor schneider

      if/when i acquire any, I WILL NAME THEM ASAP!

  84. +00ooo-oooOO+

      see: that’s why I’d reject his stuff. what does “hope to FUCK YOU are using tough guys” supposed to mean? Clarity, clarity, clarity . .

  85. david erlewine

      as mentioned above, i don’t have any more names, senor schneider

      if/when i acquire any, I WILL NAME THEM ASAP!

  86. +00ooo-oooOO+

      see: that’s why I’d reject his stuff. what does “hope to FUCK YOU are using tough guys” supposed to mean? Clarity, clarity, clarity . .

  87. Mather Schneider

      Well, there it is. Thanks. It’s not that bad. I don’t love it, but I can’t bash it. And that is something if you know me.

  88. Mather Schneider

      Well, there it is. Thanks. It’s not that bad. I don’t love it, but I can’t bash it. And that is something if you know me.

  89. Mather Schneider

      Thanks, it’s pretty good.

  90. Mather Schneider

      Thanks, it’s pretty good.

  91. +00ooo-oooOO+

      What sort of childhood movie involves a Washington DC area lawyer getting gang-raped by killer whales for submitting too often to a literary website?

      Alos, in my admittedly minor experience with the stuff, Orca Porn is ALWAYS NC-17.

  92. Mather Schneider

      Thanks Matt Jasper, that poem wasn’t too bad.

  93. +00ooo-oooOO+

      What sort of childhood movie involves a Washington DC area lawyer getting gang-raped by killer whales for submitting too often to a literary website?

      Alos, in my admittedly minor experience with the stuff, Orca Porn is ALWAYS NC-17.

  94. Mather Schneider

      Thanks Matt Jasper, that poem wasn’t too bad.

  95. david erlewine

      Do I need to get Barry G on here, tall and violent guy?

  96. david erlewine

      Do I need to get Barry G on here, tall and violent guy?

  97. david erlewine

      was just referring to ORCA…nothing more

      i think my reference was fairly clear, as much as i can be on such things

  98. david erlewine

      was just referring to ORCA…nothing more

      i think my reference was fairly clear, as much as i can be on such things

  99. Mather Schneider

      Well, there’s nothing wrong with anger. I get angry. I get a lot of things.

  100. Jessie Carty

      Oh it would be juicy fun to list which ones never follow guidelines and any “high maintenance” people :)

  101. Mather Schneider

      Well, there’s nothing wrong with anger. I get angry. I get a lot of things.

  102. Jessie Carty

      Oh it would be juicy fun to list which ones never follow guidelines and any “high maintenance” people :)

  103. Roxane

      I often think about calling out some of the people who submit one story after the other or otherwise behave badly but then I never pull the trigger. I could tell submission stories all day though. It’s so eye-opening to see the shit writers pull from the editorial perspective. It makes me feel bad for every ridiculous thing I’ve done as a writer. I recently had a writer send me a nasty e-mail because I responded too quickly and that clearly I don’t know how to evaluate great literature. Yes. He complained because I responded too quickly. That was fairly awesome. It didn’t take me long to read your story because it was BAD. Many writers also get snippity when you provide feedback. If you don’t want to know what I think about your writing, maybe don’t send it to me. Authotrope, NOW!

  104. Roxane

      I often think about calling out some of the people who submit one story after the other or otherwise behave badly but then I never pull the trigger. I could tell submission stories all day though. It’s so eye-opening to see the shit writers pull from the editorial perspective. It makes me feel bad for every ridiculous thing I’ve done as a writer. I recently had a writer send me a nasty e-mail because I responded too quickly and that clearly I don’t know how to evaluate great literature. Yes. He complained because I responded too quickly. That was fairly awesome. It didn’t take me long to read your story because it was BAD. Many writers also get snippity when you provide feedback. If you don’t want to know what I think about your writing, maybe don’t send it to me. Authotrope, NOW!

  105. Roxane

      “and he SAID that clearly….”

  106. Roxane

      “and he SAID that clearly….”

  107. david erlewine

      Agreed, there is nothing wrong with anger.

      I liked your Johnny Cash poem quite a bit. Good stuff. Made me go watch “Hurt” again.

  108. david erlewine

      Agreed, there is nothing wrong with anger.

      I liked your Johnny Cash poem quite a bit. Good stuff. Made me go watch “Hurt” again.

  109. Mather Schneider

      yes I understood it David, I guess I thought you were an editor since so many around here seem to be editors of their own journals…

  110. Mather Schneider

      yes I understood it David, I guess I thought you were an editor since so many around here seem to be editors of their own journals…

  111. Mather Schneider

      Go ahead, list them.

  112. Mather Schneider

      Go ahead, list them.

  113. Mather Schneider

      Names?

  114. Mather Schneider

      Names?

  115. Mather Schneider

      not sure if that was sarcastic since I don’t know what “hurt” is but I’ll take it . Thank you.

  116. Mather Schneider

      not sure if that was sarcastic since I don’t know what “hurt” is but I’ll take it . Thank you.

  117. Tom

      I worked at one of the least-accepting lit mags, and we had situations like that, but we never turned around and got in touch with the other mags. That’s bullshit.

  118. Tom

      I worked at one of the least-accepting lit mags, and we had situations like that, but we never turned around and got in touch with the other mags. That’s bullshit.

  119. T

      Tao Lin.

  120. T

      Tao Lin.

  121. Mather Schneider

      Again, no names…this thread is amazing…

  122. Mather Schneider

      Again, no names…this thread is amazing…

  123. Mather Schneider

      Hey, there’s a name!

  124. Mather Schneider

      Hey, there’s a name!

  125. Mather Schneider

      Man this thread could be so good if everyone wasn’t afraid of naming someone who might end up as the judge of a contest they might want to enter some day.

  126. Mather Schneider

      Man this thread could be so good if everyone wasn’t afraid of naming someone who might end up as the judge of a contest they might want to enter some day.

  127. reynard

      wondering if someone can clarify a submissions ethic issue for me:

      if an editor asks, even urges, me to submit again, should i still wait? because i feel like, i don’t want to forget, and i usually have somethings in the queue so i do it right then, figuring most of them won’t see it for a week anyway.

      is that bad? am i a bad person? slap me in the face.

  128. reynard

      wondering if someone can clarify a submissions ethic issue for me:

      if an editor asks, even urges, me to submit again, should i still wait? because i feel like, i don’t want to forget, and i usually have somethings in the queue so i do it right then, figuring most of them won’t see it for a week anyway.

      is that bad? am i a bad person? slap me in the face.

  129. david erlewine

      It’s a great Johnny Cash video, covering the NIN song. You probably saw it years ago.

      No sarcasm intended. And you’re certainly welcome, Mather.

  130. david erlewine

      It’s a great Johnny Cash video, covering the NIN song. You probably saw it years ago.

      No sarcasm intended. And you’re certainly welcome, Mather.

  131. Lincoln

      If an editor really wants tyou to wait, they might say something like “Send me another piece in a month” or something. If you’ve been “urged” to resubmit, I don’t see any problem in sending back pretty quickly.

  132. Blake Butler

      you should submit again.

      i dont see problems with people resubbing quickly, as long as the work is actually ‘finished’ (in that, it’s not just something you dashed off, and more that it is a piece of work worth the time of considering). the main problem with the quick resub is that the person is sending out mediocre work and not taking time to consider what’s up, but in other cases an author might have a bunch of finished, solid stories and it might be just a matter of taste. you know whether the work is done or not, or at least how you feel at that moment, so as long as you feel like it’s something worth having someone consider, it’s ok i think. and especially when asked, that means you have their attention, and if you have finished other work you shouldn’t hesitate.

  133. Lincoln

      If an editor really wants tyou to wait, they might say something like “Send me another piece in a month” or something. If you’ve been “urged” to resubmit, I don’t see any problem in sending back pretty quickly.

  134. Blake Butler

      you should submit again.

      i dont see problems with people resubbing quickly, as long as the work is actually ‘finished’ (in that, it’s not just something you dashed off, and more that it is a piece of work worth the time of considering). the main problem with the quick resub is that the person is sending out mediocre work and not taking time to consider what’s up, but in other cases an author might have a bunch of finished, solid stories and it might be just a matter of taste. you know whether the work is done or not, or at least how you feel at that moment, so as long as you feel like it’s something worth having someone consider, it’s ok i think. and especially when asked, that means you have their attention, and if you have finished other work you shouldn’t hesitate.

  135. Mather Schneider

      You probably are a bad person but that is irrelevant. If an editor asks to see more send more right away. I find it hard to believe that you would even be confused if an editor “urged” you to submit again. Unless you’re the hard to get type.

  136. Mather Schneider

      You probably are a bad person but that is irrelevant. If an editor asks to see more send more right away. I find it hard to believe that you would even be confused if an editor “urged” you to submit again. Unless you’re the hard to get type.

  137. Blake Butler

      ok, mather. your comments are kind of like submissions. and you are commenting a lot saying nothing that adds much of anything to anybody, except to whine or talk blank shit. so, i name you.

  138. Blake Butler

      ok, mather. your comments are kind of like submissions. and you are commenting a lot saying nothing that adds much of anything to anybody, except to whine or talk blank shit. so, i name you.

  139. Mather Schneider

      Thanks, man. It’s nice to be appreciated.

  140. Mather Schneider

      Thanks, man. It’s nice to be appreciated.

  141. darby

      I’ve never understood why it’s bad ethic not to wait even if not asked. At abjective I get submissions from authors multiply and often and I never think less of them for it. it just means they really want to get published by my journal and i take that as compliment. i read and consider every submission as its own entity. Editors, why does it bother you that people submit too often?

  142. darby

      I’ve never understood why it’s bad ethic not to wait even if not asked. At abjective I get submissions from authors multiply and often and I never think less of them for it. it just means they really want to get published by my journal and i take that as compliment. i read and consider every submission as its own entity. Editors, why does it bother you that people submit too often?

  143. Blake Butler

      i just said in the comment above why i felt so. it’s not an across the board kind of rule, but only annoying when the person seems to have no context at all to what they are doing, and is just blanket subbing, over and over again.

  144. Ryan Call

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      Kirk
      Leslie
      Michael
      Nadine
      Oscar
      Patty
      Rafael
      Sandy
      Tony
      Valerie
      William Andrea
      Barry
      Chantal
      Dorian
      Erin
      Fernand
      Gabrielle
      Humberto
      Ingrid
      Jerry
      Karen
      Lorenzo
      Melissa
      Nestor
      Olga
      Pablo
      Rebekah
      Sebastien
      Tanya
      Van
      Wendy Arthur
      Bertha
      Cristobal
      Dolly
      Edouard
      Fay
      Gonzalo
      Hanna
      Isaias
      Josephine
      Kyle
      Laura
      Marco
      Nana
      Omar
      Paulette
      Rene
      Sally
      Teddy
      Vicky
      Wilfred

  145. Blake Butler

      i just said in the comment above why i felt so. it’s not an across the board kind of rule, but only annoying when the person seems to have no context at all to what they are doing, and is just blanket subbing, over and over again.

  146. Ryan Call

      Ana
      Bill
      Claudette
      Danny
      Erika
      Fred
      Grace
      Henri
      Ida
      Joaquin
      Kate
      Larry
      Mindy
      Nicholas
      Odette
      Peter
      Rose
      Sam
      Teresa
      Victor
      Wanda Alex
      Bonnie
      Colin
      Danielle
      Earl
      Fiona
      Gaston
      Hermine
      Igor
      Julia
      Karl
      Lisa
      Matthew
      Nicole
      Otto
      Paula
      Richard
      Shary
      Tomas
      Virginie
      Walter Arlene
      Bret
      Cindy
      Don
      Emily
      Franklin
      Gert
      Harvey
      Irene
      Jose
      Katia
      Lee
      Maria
      Nate
      Ophelia
      Philippe
      Rina
      Sean
      Tammy
      Vince
      Whitney
      Alberto
      Beryl
      Chris
      Debby
      Ernesto
      Florence
      Gordon
      Helene
      Isaac
      Joyce
      Kirk
      Leslie
      Michael
      Nadine
      Oscar
      Patty
      Rafael
      Sandy
      Tony
      Valerie
      William Andrea
      Barry
      Chantal
      Dorian
      Erin
      Fernand
      Gabrielle
      Humberto
      Ingrid
      Jerry
      Karen
      Lorenzo
      Melissa
      Nestor
      Olga
      Pablo
      Rebekah
      Sebastien
      Tanya
      Van
      Wendy Arthur
      Bertha
      Cristobal
      Dolly
      Edouard
      Fay
      Gonzalo
      Hanna
      Isaias
      Josephine
      Kyle
      Laura
      Marco
      Nana
      Omar
      Paulette
      Rene
      Sally
      Teddy
      Vicky
      Wilfred

  147. Blake Butler

      i’d appreciate it if you relaxed. i like fire, but you seem to frequently comment with snide shit, as if you are just a monsterbaby lashing in the dark.

  148. Mather Schneider

      you got a contest coming up soon, Blake?

  149. Blake Butler

      i’d appreciate it if you relaxed. i like fire, but you seem to frequently comment with snide shit, as if you are just a monsterbaby lashing in the dark.

  150. Mather Schneider

      you got a contest coming up soon, Blake?

  151. Blake Butler

      i dont believe in contests.

  152. Mather Schneider

      I like your site, but I will lay off if it is too annoying.

  153. Blake Butler

      i dont believe in contests.

  154. Mather Schneider

      I like your site, but I will lay off if it is too annoying.

  155. Blake Butler

      you should watch the scene in planes trains and automobiles where steve martin tells john candy what’s up

      then come back and comment as if you are talking to a person, not a robot child

  156. darby

      yeah, i didn’t see your comment till after i did mine. ;)

      I gues though, this… ‘the person seems to have no context at all to what they are doing’ doesn’t feel like it is my business as an editor to think about this. it’s the submiters issue, not mine. it’s no skin off my back, i just reject stuff or accept stuff. I’m not in the business to think about the nuances of why writers are submitting, or are they doing it in an honest way, or do they really care, etc. I’m just looking for words. anything more than that feels like political silliness to me.

  157. Blake Butler

      you should watch the scene in planes trains and automobiles where steve martin tells john candy what’s up

      then come back and comment as if you are talking to a person, not a robot child

  158. darby

      yeah, i didn’t see your comment till after i did mine. ;)

      I gues though, this… ‘the person seems to have no context at all to what they are doing’ doesn’t feel like it is my business as an editor to think about this. it’s the submiters issue, not mine. it’s no skin off my back, i just reject stuff or accept stuff. I’m not in the business to think about the nuances of why writers are submitting, or are they doing it in an honest way, or do they really care, etc. I’m just looking for words. anything more than that feels like political silliness to me.

  159. Tom

      Fine…A Public Space. Does that change things?

  160. Tom

      Fine…A Public Space. Does that change things?

  161. Adam R

      I just got a sub from a two time book award winner!

  162. Adam R

      I just got a sub from a two time book award winner!

  163. Blake Butler

      have you ever had someone submit once a week, response from last week or not, with emails full of files after files, with the email addresses of tons of other journals also copied in the email?

      that’s what i’m talking about.

      i’m also talking about when you respond to someone who has sent like an old fashioned love story to your journal where you only publish noir fiction, and you respond privately saying, this isn’t what we publish really, and they respond with more of the same

      and then slightly more watered down versions of those two instances, but in a general context

      i agree with you otherwise: i’ve never been that annoyed when someone keeps sending new work, within the requested guidelines of the journal.

  164. Blake Butler

      have you ever had someone submit once a week, response from last week or not, with emails full of files after files, with the email addresses of tons of other journals also copied in the email?

      that’s what i’m talking about.

      i’m also talking about when you respond to someone who has sent like an old fashioned love story to your journal where you only publish noir fiction, and you respond privately saying, this isn’t what we publish really, and they respond with more of the same

      and then slightly more watered down versions of those two instances, but in a general context

      i agree with you otherwise: i’ve never been that annoyed when someone keeps sending new work, within the requested guidelines of the journal.

  165. Blake Butler

      i mean, say whatever you want. i’m just trying to let you know that i think people would give your opinions more consideration if you were a bit less snide in the way you disseminate them. sometimes snide is nice. sometimes it gets old.

  166. Blake Butler

      i mean, say whatever you want. i’m just trying to let you know that i think people would give your opinions more consideration if you were a bit less snide in the way you disseminate them. sometimes snide is nice. sometimes it gets old.

  167. darby

      that’s valid. probably i expect a lot of different kinds of submissions because the guidelines open themselves to cross genre, so I expect work that is anything, so I can’t make distinctions based on the kinds of work people submit, but i can understand others doing this. but yeah, just doesn’t bother me much in the end. it’s easy to just read a bit and send a rejection and move on and not get worked up over things.

  168. darby

      that’s valid. probably i expect a lot of different kinds of submissions because the guidelines open themselves to cross genre, so I expect work that is anything, so I can’t make distinctions based on the kinds of work people submit, but i can understand others doing this. but yeah, just doesn’t bother me much in the end. it’s easy to just read a bit and send a rejection and move on and not get worked up over things.

  169. Mather Schneider

      I think I know that guy.

  170. Christopher Higgs

      I can’t believe you named names!!!!!

  171. Mather Schneider

      I think I know that guy.

  172. Christopher Higgs

      I can’t believe you named names!!!!!

  173. Mather Schneider

      If it wasn’t for snarky commentors you guys would probably turn on each other. But, I get the picture. I’ll try to keep it down.

  174. Mather Schneider

      If it wasn’t for snarky commentors you guys would probably turn on each other. But, I get the picture. I’ll try to keep it down.

  175. mark

      Even if the submission is a 350,000 word international thriller about Al Qaeda infiltrating the US through the southern border, disguised as undocumented Mexicans, to blow us up, because Obama wants them to,* I tend to sit on it for a day just to avoid the “did you even READ it” thing.

      * actual submission

  176. Aaron

      cheddar bay biscuits

  177. mark

      Even if the submission is a 350,000 word international thriller about Al Qaeda infiltrating the US through the southern border, disguised as undocumented Mexicans, to blow us up, because Obama wants them to,* I tend to sit on it for a day just to avoid the “did you even READ it” thing.

      * actual submission

  178. Aaron

      cheddar bay biscuits

  179. Mather Schneider

      Yes, it changes from the hypothetical to the real. Thank you.

  180. Mather Schneider

      Yes, it changes from the hypothetical to the real. Thank you.

  181. mark

      saw one recently where the author’s previous book was “nominated for a pulitzer.” it was self-published.

  182. mark

      saw one recently where the author’s previous book was “nominated for a pulitzer.” it was self-published.

  183. Ben White

      Best comment exchange on HG I’ve read so far.

  184. Ben White

      Best comment exchange on HG I’ve read so far.

  185. Mather Schneider

      name?

  186. Mather Schneider

      name?

  187. mark

      not that i wouldn’t love it if a self-published book won the pulitzer.

  188. mark

      not that i wouldn’t love it if a self-published book won the pulitzer.

  189. Ben White

      1) It seems many obnoxious writers are also editors and therefore think their “editorial” experience gives them a seeing-eye to know that their writing is AWESOME. So authoptrope would probably also be hypocritotrope.

      2) It is annoying when the guidelines do mention waiting between subs and writers do not wait. I bet Coop over at elimae gets too many subs from people all the time and I’m shocked he hasn’t killed someone.

      3) When people don’t wait between subs it often seems that they’re not really paying attention. If someone sends you a honest good-faith effort than whatever, but if they’re not listening and not reading then it’s annoying.

      3a) This is even more annoying when each new submission breaks the submission guidelines in new and exciting ways.

  190. Ben White

      1) It seems many obnoxious writers are also editors and therefore think their “editorial” experience gives them a seeing-eye to know that their writing is AWESOME. So authoptrope would probably also be hypocritotrope.

      2) It is annoying when the guidelines do mention waiting between subs and writers do not wait. I bet Coop over at elimae gets too many subs from people all the time and I’m shocked he hasn’t killed someone.

      3) When people don’t wait between subs it often seems that they’re not really paying attention. If someone sends you a honest good-faith effort than whatever, but if they’re not listening and not reading then it’s annoying.

      3a) This is even more annoying when each new submission breaks the submission guidelines in new and exciting ways.

  191. Mather Schneider

      Your quote 99 is very funny.

  192. Mather Schneider

      Your quote 99 is very funny.

  193. Vaughan Simons

      The waiting between subs business isn’t black and white, though. It’s kind of grey, grey, grey. I don’t want to reopen the tedious old debate about rejections that give no clue about *why* a piece wasn’t suitable, but if editors say “it wasn’t right for us” or whatever, how is the writer supposed to know what was wrong with their submission? (Unless, yeah, they’ve submitted a 19th century love story to a journal about surrealist sado-masochism or something – then they deserve everything they get.) Is it any wonder, then, that if the writer particularly likes the journal, and the editor hasn’t given any clue what’s wrong with the piece, that they submit again? Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

  194. Vaughan Simons

      The waiting between subs business isn’t black and white, though. It’s kind of grey, grey, grey. I don’t want to reopen the tedious old debate about rejections that give no clue about *why* a piece wasn’t suitable, but if editors say “it wasn’t right for us” or whatever, how is the writer supposed to know what was wrong with their submission? (Unless, yeah, they’ve submitted a 19th century love story to a journal about surrealist sado-masochism or something – then they deserve everything they get.) Is it any wonder, then, that if the writer particularly likes the journal, and the editor hasn’t given any clue what’s wrong with the piece, that they submit again? Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

  195. Roxane

      When I explicitly ask someone to resubmit, I mean resubmit, whenever you want because I really like your writing and I want to see more.

  196. Roxane

      When I explicitly ask someone to resubmit, I mean resubmit, whenever you want because I really like your writing and I want to see more.

  197. Roxane

      Reynard’s question is actually a really good one.

  198. Roxane

      Reynard’s question is actually a really good one.

  199. peter

      I actually think a 19th century love story might make for some good s & m

  200. peter

      I actually think a 19th century love story might make for some good s & m

  201. Roxane Gay

      The one thing I’ll say is that given the volume of our submissions, it’s really frustrating when writers submit over and over in the same day or even the same week. I recently instituted a once per week submission policy (unless you’re invited to send more) because it became too much to see so much work from writers whose work had the very same problems that were the source of the prior rejection. In many of these repeat submissions, it was clear the writer was just sitting at the computer, dashing off inane stories and submitting them again. That’s rude.

  202. Roxane Gay

      The one thing I’ll say is that given the volume of our submissions, it’s really frustrating when writers submit over and over in the same day or even the same week. I recently instituted a once per week submission policy (unless you’re invited to send more) because it became too much to see so much work from writers whose work had the very same problems that were the source of the prior rejection. In many of these repeat submissions, it was clear the writer was just sitting at the computer, dashing off inane stories and submitting them again. That’s rude.

  203. Nathan Tyree

      agreed. that is a punk ass move. That editor should rot in hell

  204. Nathan Tyree

      agreed. that is a punk ass move. That editor should rot in hell

  205. Nathan Tyree

      @Tom

      A Public Space has had something of mine for almost three years (I think – no longer have the spreadsheet I was using at the time). I assume I was rejected, but they never bothered to tell me. Yet they spam me constantly

  206. Nathan Tyree

      @Tom

      A Public Space has had something of mine for almost three years (I think – no longer have the spreadsheet I was using at the time). I assume I was rejected, but they never bothered to tell me. Yet they spam me constantly

  207. reynard

      thanks guys. this was very helpful.

      wow, not being sarcastic feels really good!

  208. reynard

      thanks guys. this was very helpful.

      wow, not being sarcastic feels really good!

  209. reynard

      sometimes i think something is done… i’ll even give it a couple of days to breathe and i’ll be like, yeah, this is really weird but it’s done (especially true of spontaneous pieces that involve very little thought given to meaning, etc) and so i’ll send it out to a bunch of people. then a week later i read it again and think i was out of my fucking mind.

      should i give it longer before submitting? or am i just second-guessing myself?

  210. reynard

      sometimes i think something is done… i’ll even give it a couple of days to breathe and i’ll be like, yeah, this is really weird but it’s done (especially true of spontaneous pieces that involve very little thought given to meaning, etc) and so i’ll send it out to a bunch of people. then a week later i read it again and think i was out of my fucking mind.

      should i give it longer before submitting? or am i just second-guessing myself?

  211. Sean

      I think if an editor asks you to submit something else you should wait about a month. I don’t like being on call to submit something. Just back off, then respect their words and submit.

      Interesting thread, though. I think people do the whole submit thing so differently, but, as we know, the good work does get placed. Period.

  212. Sean

      I think if an editor asks you to submit something else you should wait about a month. I don’t like being on call to submit something. Just back off, then respect their words and submit.

      Interesting thread, though. I think people do the whole submit thing so differently, but, as we know, the good work does get placed. Period.

  213. rion

      Asshole. You didn’t name my name.

  214. rion

      Asshole. You didn’t name my name.

  215. darby

      you and i play this game very differently

  216. Ryan Call

      i cant believe you read that whole list.

      idiot.

  217. darby

      you and i play this game very differently

  218. Ryan Call

      i cant believe you read that whole list.

      idiot.

  219. Roxane Gay

      Well, we must because I don’t think it’s a game.

  220. Roxane Gay

      Well, we must because I don’t think it’s a game.

  221. BAC

      My daughter was that lobster for halloween this year.

  222. BAC

      My daughter was that lobster for halloween this year.

  223. BAC

      in the picture.

  224. BAC

      in the picture.

  225. Jim G

      Don’t mind the submission game so much. Long as my name or past simple is in the letter or poem somewhere. Plenty happy. I knew what I was getting into with this. However, don’t like it when I spend the time to send out a proof to an author. Author gives the ok. I say, OK, and publish it. Author comes back and wants to make changes. Ah ya, I didn’t just get done looking at these poems for hours and hours and fighting filezilla to get em uploaded and looking nice and now I am into my beer and happy and you want me to make a change? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. You make the change.

  226. Jim G

      Don’t mind the submission game so much. Long as my name or past simple is in the letter or poem somewhere. Plenty happy. I knew what I was getting into with this. However, don’t like it when I spend the time to send out a proof to an author. Author gives the ok. I say, OK, and publish it. Author comes back and wants to make changes. Ah ya, I didn’t just get done looking at these poems for hours and hours and fighting filezilla to get em uploaded and looking nice and now I am into my beer and happy and you want me to make a change? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. You make the change.