Last book I loathed
Worst book ever?
I have really enjoyed reading through the Rumpus list of writers talking about their favorite books. Sometimes surprising, occasionally illuminating and eminently useful. And you know, it has been said by some that if you don’t have something good to say, you shouldn’t say it at all. Maybe. My Manichean outlook, however, demands that likewise a list of the last books that attentive readers absolutely despised would be an equally fruitful enterprise. I know we’re all about positivity here, but I, for one, would appreciate some timely warnings of books that will, if I’m not careful, make me bleed out of my eyes and rend my bathroom slippers in agony. The three least awesome books I’ve read recently are these:
1) The Hour I First Believed, by Wally Lamb: I’m still dealing with the aftermath of this nearly 1,000 page bucket of swill. The Oprah-adored author uses the Columbine massacre as a jumping off point for his emotionally manipulative, clichéd slop bucket of senseless tragedy.
2) The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel: I guess I just have a problem with books that demand a lot of my time and page-turning energy and don’t give anything but poop in return. Littel’s controversial novel of a sadistic, intellectual S.S. officer making his way through the various theaters and meat grinders of World War 2 seems like the type of thing I’d be into. Not so! The flat and unlovely prose (maybe what you’d expect of a book written by a Nazi bureaucrat) is only to be outdone by the author’s obsession with feces.
3) Break It Down, by Lydia Davis: Blasphemy! I kind of liked The End of the Story, and, to a lesser extent, Varieties of Disturbance, but this one just didn’t do it for me. For every story I liked, there were three or four that made me want to quit reading forever.
What books do you hate?
Tags: Last book I loved
oops! sorry drew- will try to take mine down…
haha-
also, i did a books i don’t like post a while back.
Good stuff. Thank you for warning me of these books. I have not read them and now will not.
Don’t take it down! We need more hate!
Also, sorry for not reading your old post and stealing your idea way after you did it. I’m not as diligent a blog reader as I should be.
no, i mean, we posted at the same time! Sorry- blake can maybe fix it.
. I chose Lorrie Moore’s Who Will Take Care of the Frog Hospital?, a book by Jane Hamilton- which I enjoyed reading but left a bad taste in my mouth- The Map ot the World, it was called, a book by the much loved Malcolm Lowry- un readably boring- and some other stuff.
no! you stole nothing! We had a mean monday thing going on- lots of us did mean posts.
i hate The Fury by Salman Rushdie. talk about phoned-in piece of crap.
i hate The Fury by Salman Rushdie. talk about phoned-in piece of crap.
Also, in reference to your bible pic-
this was an amazon review of james earl jones audio book of the Bible: (I may have posted it before in a comment, sorry, i could read it once a day for a giggle though)
The Bible is probably one of the most famous sci-fi novels of all time. It’s probably 150-200 years old and peolple (people) still freak over it like they did when MASH had that last episode. There’s all kinds of fan clubs and everything even though it’s all old. (Talking about the Bible still.)
But I dont’ get it, yo. It’s mostly about some guy who goes nuts and thinks he’s the son of God. And there are no real creatures or monsters. Just like a devil, some gays, and a cyclops.
Now even though it’s not music, James Earl Jone’s reading the Bible…you treat it like it’s a music CD even though it’s not music, just put it in a CD player or something else that plays CDs and press Play, or a button that says something like “Play.” (What sucks though is that in most copies of the Bible I’ve seen there’s some ribbon you use to mark what page you’re on. This CD doesn’t have that, so you have to mark your spot with a piece of paper or, less advisably, a piece of toast or something.)
Anyways, when James Earl Jones (as I like to calll him) reads “I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” I just not sure like hearing Darth Vader say something so woosy. And, later, in this part where he’s sayin’ who’s the son of who and all that, Lord Vader actually sighs and says “yada yada” a few times. That’s kinda cool.
And there’s the part about the main character, Jesus, who turns water into wine. I guess that was cool to Bible fans back in the old days, but anyone can do that now, so it’s sort of like eh…who cares.
But, hey, all and all it’s alright. Its stood the test of time, I mean my grandma’s still a fan of this thing, the pope is apparently like a huge fan… I don’t know..will Lord of the Rings or Fantastic Four and all them stand the test of time? Or won’t they stand the test of time?
I’ve never gotten through a Rushdie novel. I may have only tried once.
Also, in the same vein-
I was not a fan of The CInniman(sp) Peelers by Ondaatje (I know others here liked it), but I did finish the whole thing. Which says something.
Frog Hospital was my next pick! Glad I didn’t steal and only read your mind.
I’m reading “the Dead Fish Museum” by Charles D’Ambrosio and am not really a fan.
I’m reading “the Dead Fish Museum” by Charles D’Ambrosio and am not really a fan.
Haroun and the Sea of Stories is one of my favorite books of all time. So I picked up Fury since it was his most recent at the time. One chapter in and I was angry at Mr. Rushdie for sucking.
Haroun and the Sea of Stories is one of my favorite books of all time. So I picked up Fury since it was his most recent at the time. One chapter in and I was angry at Mr. Rushdie for sucking.
haha-
well, sometimes, when I a writer i love does something sucky, i think- see – we are all fallible! And i find it comforting.
Like when a pro tennis players hits a ball into the net….ah, no one is perfect.
one way to think of it-
that said, there is the “once you have an established career, anyone will publish anything of yours” problem. That’s just life.
that book was ass.
some of the stories are really good, i thought. but not all, for sure. I mentioned this thought recently- the whole “filler” thing that happens in collections. It’s the same with cds, or albums – two hits, and the rest is just filler.
Cobain said something like, if I’d known I only needed two good songs, I would have stretched out my album over four albums…I thought that was pretty funny.
“that said, there is the “once you have an established career, anyone will publish anything of yours” problem. That’s just life.”
i’d love to get to that point… i’d take advantage of that like a drunk sorority girl…
“that said, there is the “once you have an established career, anyone will publish anything of yours” problem. That’s just life.”
i’d love to get to that point… i’d take advantage of that like a drunk sorority girl…
I’d worship at the Church of Ben Grimm.
i have read haroun. i remember it being “okay”.
i have read haroun. i remember it being “okay”.
I know and the language and the structure of Saul Bellow’s Herzog are beautiful and brilliant, but the story—I am having a hard time wanting to know more about this character. It’s in my car, begging me to pick it up again every time I look in the passenger seat, but I just feel a creeping dread when I go to pick it up again. This is pretty heretical. Maybe it’s me. I love his short stories.
Who Will Run the Frog Hospital?—why is it so bad?
Even HATSOS is a blatant ripoff of The Neverending Story. There’s even a luck dragon equivalent.
I know and the language and the structure of Saul Bellow’s Herzog are beautiful and brilliant, but the story—I am having a hard time wanting to know more about this character. It’s in my car, begging me to pick it up again every time I look in the passenger seat, but I just feel a creeping dread when I go to pick it up again. This is pretty heretical. Maybe it’s me. I love his short stories.
Who Will Run the Frog Hospital?—why is it so bad?
Even HATSOS is a blatant ripoff of The Neverending Story. There’s even a luck dragon equivalent.
i dunno drew, loathe is kind of a strong word.
i mean i don’t think i have ever loathed a book.
the last book i read that bored me was EEE EEE EEE.
i think that was the point though? i don’t know.
maybe if i were younger and living a coddled life of wi-fi, ipods and vegan diet then i would have been into it.
i mean obviously i am missing something because it seems to be a popular book with a certain demographic.
i dunno drew, loathe is kind of a strong word.
i mean i don’t think i have ever loathed a book.
the last book i read that bored me was EEE EEE EEE.
i think that was the point though? i don’t know.
maybe if i were younger and living a coddled life of wi-fi, ipods and vegan diet then i would have been into it.
i mean obviously i am missing something because it seems to be a popular book with a certain demographic.
haha
I didn’t get throught Herzog- same prob you have. He’s a great writer but he’s – loquacious? to a fault? i don’t know-
i thought about ordering that book but physically i just couldn’t make myself do it.
i thought about ordering that book but physically i just couldn’t make myself do it.
i also hate A Far Off Place. that book was like a sleeping pill. no matter how many times i tried to read it back when it was assigned to me in school i would fall asleep by the end of the first page. any book that has that effect is scary.
i also hate A Far Off Place. that book was like a sleeping pill. no matter how many times i tried to read it back when it was assigned to me in school i would fall asleep by the end of the first page. any book that has that effect is scary.
Loathe is a strong word, but this is no time for half measures. Death to E.E.E.!
I’ve thrown books out windows. Last time I did that was a book about “writing” to hlep writers be creative or something. I read the first page and through it out the window. Then I went and got it and threw it at the bottom of one my many, very messy closets. Next time I’m in my house I’ll see if I can find it and post about it….btw, threw that motherfucker like 7 years ago, but it’s still there I think.
when we graduated high school people in my ap latin class put their text books in a wood chipper.
i kept mine.
when we graduated high school people in my ap latin class put their text books in a wood chipper.
i kept mine.
I’m on record at Bookslut about Philip K Dick’s “Voices from the Street” but that was years ago already. I can’t think of anything too current.
Another even older pick (also on record) would be Shalom Auslander’s “Beware of God,” which is probably among the worst books I’ve ever read.
I’m on record at Bookslut about Philip K Dick’s “Voices from the Street” but that was years ago already. I can’t think of anything too current.
Another even older pick (also on record) would be Shalom Auslander’s “Beware of God,” which is probably among the worst books I’ve ever read.
i guess another recent book would be “a stranger in a strange land”
the writing style is horrible and the dialogue takes me out of the story every conversation.
i don’t know exactly why it does but it does. it is kind of odd to me. i mean i can read spillane all day long and love it. i love pulp type shit but this is different.
i guess another recent book would be “a stranger in a strange land”
the writing style is horrible and the dialogue takes me out of the story every conversation.
i don’t know exactly why it does but it does. it is kind of odd to me. i mean i can read spillane all day long and love it. i love pulp type shit but this is different.
Really? I read an interview with him I think on Bookslut that made it sound good. Oh well. Never bought it though.
His nonfiction is actually pretty good, or his Nextbook column was. But he’s basically a mean-spirited frat boy, which only became clear after his novel came out. His main selling point seems to be not being quite as loathsome as the repressive upbringing he escaped from.
His nonfiction is actually pretty good, or his Nextbook column was. But he’s basically a mean-spirited frat boy, which only became clear after his novel came out. His main selling point seems to be not being quite as loathsome as the repressive upbringing he escaped from.
The last book I really hated that I finished (book review) was “Prep” by Curtis Sittenfeld, but that doesn’t seem very inspired.
The last book I really hated that I finished (book review) was “Prep” by Curtis Sittenfeld, but that doesn’t seem very inspired.
actually, I bought that book and never cracked it. I boufht it because- get this, I am from South Bend Indiana (like the protaganist) and I went to a posh boarding school on the East Coast (like hte protagonist) and-! And I never cracked the thing.
i like that you went to a posh, east coast boarding school. i don’t know why.
i like that you went to a posh, east coast boarding school. i don’t know why.
it’s one of the more confusing aspects of who I am or whatever. Those were some pretty alienating years. Great education though- fucking unreal education. Socially? Not so great. But I learned what things like lockjaw and The Grateful Dead and whippets were. I learned a lot .I loved it in many ways.
pr, that’s how i feel about my high school experience. i chose to go to a catholic college prep school, though i was not catholic and didn’t think i’d go to college. it was harder than my first 6 or 7 semesters of college. but it was a great education. my peers were horrible, though.
pr, that’s how i feel about my high school experience. i chose to go to a catholic college prep school, though i was not catholic and didn’t think i’d go to college. it was harder than my first 6 or 7 semesters of college. but it was a great education. my peers were horrible, though.
man i am getting a boner thinking of 16 year old PR wearing posh private school uniforms.
the fact that you are a dirty girl only makes my fantasy that much better.
man i am getting a boner thinking of 16 year old PR wearing posh private school uniforms.
the fact that you are a dirty girl only makes my fantasy that much better.
Ben Grimm’s synagogue, you mean.
Ben Grimm’s synagogue, you mean.
Sorry to disappoint you Jereme- I went to school in the early eighties, which really was like the 70s, and so even though there was a dress code, it was pretty lax. My outfits consisted of really, really malodorous espadrilles and well- skirts and shirts that also suffered from lack of washing. But nothing too catholic schooly, or like, those field hockey outfits the scary field hockey girls wore, with pleated skirts and plaid and all the fetishy stuff.
“Schooling” by Heather McGowen was blurbed by some cool people but it was unreadable. Two books (by people that I like!) that I really didn’t groove on was Vacation by Unferth and the upcoming Derek McCormack book. Hate to be a bummer.
“Schooling” by Heather McGowen was blurbed by some cool people but it was unreadable. Two books (by people that I like!) that I really didn’t groove on was Vacation by Unferth and the upcoming Derek McCormack book. Hate to be a bummer.
With the exception of “Jitterbug Perfume,” pretty much anything Tom Robbins has ever written.
With the exception of “Jitterbug Perfume,” pretty much anything Tom Robbins has ever written.
“Water for Elephants” was recommended by a co-worker. It sounded kind of bad but she was really enjoying it so I just said “Oh, that sounds good.” She brought it in for me a few weeks later when she’d finished it and I took it home because I didn’t know what else to do. It was the worst book I’ve ever read, but it was rewarding getting through the whole thing. Sometimes my wife reads over my shoulder when I’m reading, and it didn’t matter where she jumped in, it was always unintentionally hilarious. I talked about it more here, if you are interested.
“Water for Elephants” was recommended by a co-worker. It sounded kind of bad but she was really enjoying it so I just said “Oh, that sounds good.” She brought it in for me a few weeks later when she’d finished it and I took it home because I didn’t know what else to do. It was the worst book I’ve ever read, but it was rewarding getting through the whole thing. Sometimes my wife reads over my shoulder when I’m reading, and it didn’t matter where she jumped in, it was always unintentionally hilarious. I talked about it more here, if you are interested.
i’ve heard some good things about that book. i know that a lot the of the high school librarians in our area recommend it. i have not read it, though.
i’ve heard some good things about that book. i know that a lot the of the high school librarians in our area recommend it. i have not read it, though.
It’s weird because as I was reading it I heard so much about it– pretty much all positive. This guy on the subway saw me with it and told me that “it would make a great movie.” But it wouldn’t. It’s really, really bad.
Here’s a hint of how bad: the next book written by the author (Sarah Gruen), is about a group of laboratory chimps who escape and get their own reality show. I don’t think it’s out yet. But apparently it’s “straight”.
It’s weird because as I was reading it I heard so much about it– pretty much all positive. This guy on the subway saw me with it and told me that “it would make a great movie.” But it wouldn’t. It’s really, really bad.
Here’s a hint of how bad: the next book written by the author (Sarah Gruen), is about a group of laboratory chimps who escape and get their own reality show. I don’t think it’s out yet. But apparently it’s “straight”.
Another hint, now that I’m thinking about it: it’s all told by this old man who can’t remember how old he is? He does this “cute” thing all the time where he’s like “I’m 90… or 93? I forget!” Yet he has a perfect memory of his young adulthood and seems to know how old he was then– and his story has a bunch of historical reference points from that time so he could just easily do the math himself and find out his real age. That wouldn’t bug me if it was just some thing that was left unresolved, I think… but the only reason he doesn’t remember is because it is “cute” not to.
Sarah Gruen, every time she wrote about the old man: “Hah, he has Alzheimer’s. So funny. So endearing!”
Another hint, now that I’m thinking about it: it’s all told by this old man who can’t remember how old he is? He does this “cute” thing all the time where he’s like “I’m 90… or 93? I forget!” Yet he has a perfect memory of his young adulthood and seems to know how old he was then– and his story has a bunch of historical reference points from that time so he could just easily do the math himself and find out his real age. That wouldn’t bug me if it was just some thing that was left unresolved, I think… but the only reason he doesn’t remember is because it is “cute” not to.
Sarah Gruen, every time she wrote about the old man: “Hah, he has Alzheimer’s. So funny. So endearing!”
Martin Amis’s Money was a big dumb book of wank. 400 pags of it. Truly bad. Amis is a brilliant stylist, I guess, but the book had zero story and the language was way too refined for a narrator who claimed never to have read anything other than a skin mag. It’s like Bukowski writing Nabakov and Joyce — there’s too much of a cultural/literary disconnect or something for it amount to much other than a self-important writer beating off onto his manuscript and claiming the literary tradition he was brought up in to call it art. Fart art more like.
Martin Amis’s Money was a big dumb book of wank. 400 pags of it. Truly bad. Amis is a brilliant stylist, I guess, but the book had zero story and the language was way too refined for a narrator who claimed never to have read anything other than a skin mag. It’s like Bukowski writing Nabakov and Joyce — there’s too much of a cultural/literary disconnect or something for it amount to much other than a self-important writer beating off onto his manuscript and claiming the literary tradition he was brought up in to call it art. Fart art more like.
500 hugs for Ryan.
500 hugs for Ryan.
OK, the book I truly loathed I left in a hiker shelter in Vermont after carrying it for weeks in my backpack, Around the World in 80 Days. It wasn’t Verne’s story I detested, the British translator cut out the parts he said offended Brits, which is just—wrong. So if anyone ever runs across a moldy copy in a backwoods Vermont hiker shelter on a cold night, well, I’m against burning books, but given a low firewood supply . . .
OK, the book I truly loathed I left in a hiker shelter in Vermont after carrying it for weeks in my backpack, Around the World in 80 Days. It wasn’t Verne’s story I detested, the British translator cut out the parts he said offended Brits, which is just—wrong. So if anyone ever runs across a moldy copy in a backwoods Vermont hiker shelter on a cold night, well, I’m against burning books, but given a low firewood supply . . .
i tried to read *money*, but refused to finish. even thinking about it makes me kind of disgusted.
i also don’t much like *under the net*. mainly b/c i found the beginning so promising and the rest so blah. weak philosophy.
*revolutionary road* disappointed me. i prefer *the easter parade*. this is not a reference to HeWhoseNameShallNotBeSpoken.
i tried to read *money*, but refused to finish. even thinking about it makes me kind of disgusted.
i also don’t much like *under the net*. mainly b/c i found the beginning so promising and the rest so blah. weak philosophy.
*revolutionary road* disappointed me. i prefer *the easter parade*. this is not a reference to HeWhoseNameShallNotBeSpoken.
actually, as far as yates is concerned, go for the stories. like a lower class cheever with all the punch. and there is nothing wrong with that.
actually, as far as yates is concerned, go for the stories. like a lower class cheever with all the punch. and there is nothing wrong with that.
i’ve been on an anti- jonathans kick for a while now.
franze, saafran foer, the ‘kindly ones’ jonathan….
i like lethem sometimes, but not as much as i feel like i ought to. i prefer his short stuff, even though the novels get all the press.
i’ve been on an anti- jonathans kick for a while now.
franze, saafran foer, the ‘kindly ones’ jonathan….
i like lethem sometimes, but not as much as i feel like i ought to. i prefer his short stuff, even though the novels get all the press.
I hated “July, July” by Tim O’Brien. I got really angry reading it. I jumped ahead – 10, 20 pages at a time – sort of like I was watching a DVR’d football game I didn’t really care about. I know people are always on him to write about something other than the Vietnam War but holy shit did I hate July, July.
I hated “July, July” by Tim O’Brien. I got really angry reading it. I jumped ahead – 10, 20 pages at a time – sort of like I was watching a DVR’d football game I didn’t really care about. I know people are always on him to write about something other than the Vietnam War but holy shit did I hate July, July.
I didn’t finish money. I liked a couple of his other books- The Infomation and -don’t laugh- time’s arrow.
I had his sign my copy of the information. that was fun.
I didn’t finish money. I liked a couple of his other books- The Infomation and -don’t laugh- time’s arrow.
I had his sign my copy of the information. that was fun.
i loved time’s arrow. like seriously loved it.
i loved time’s arrow. like seriously loved it.
I really liked “The Fortress of Solitude” when I first read it, but I tried it a second time and just couldn’t do it. I think his shorter stuff is much better– and of his novels, “Gun, With Occasional Music” (I think his first?) is his best. He’s got a collection of stories that’s more Sci-Fi than “Men and Cartoons” kicking around apparently, I want to read that. I think that’s what he’s good at.
I really liked “The Fortress of Solitude” when I first read it, but I tried it a second time and just couldn’t do it. I think his shorter stuff is much better– and of his novels, “Gun, With Occasional Music” (I think his first?) is his best. He’s got a collection of stories that’s more Sci-Fi than “Men and Cartoons” kicking around apparently, I want to read that. I think that’s what he’s good at.