April 17th, 2009 / 10:43 am
Mean

Today’s Hipsters, Tomorrow’s Asshats

Is Adbusters the single most obnoxious magazine on the face of the earth? If their articles matched their headlines, and their execution matched their ethics, they’d be a valuable cultural resource, as well as a kickass read. I would be willing to bet that on a checklist of political positions and beliefs, Adbusters and I would agree about 98% of the time. It’s not their politics I object to. It’s their holier-than-everything-all-the-time posturing, combined with the  fact that their articles read like the diary entries of intelligent but under-achieving 8th graders. Also, their high-gloss “I went to design school but I’m still punkasfuck aren’t I please tell me I am oh tell me please” aesthetics. It’s Disneypunk, and I just can’t figure out how the people who produce it live with themselves, or why they don’t use all their energy to do something useful for the causes they champion, instead of striving to be the vapid polyanna incitement-jockeys of the blinders-on knees-jerking nobody-likes-you-and-there’s-a-good-reason-for-that Left. 

When Tao lived here he had a free subscription, I think because he was in it once, and the issues still show up. I usually just let them pass me by, but I flipped through the most recent one because there was a cover story about the ubiquity of what we’ll call porno-culture, and I thought that might be worth reading (it’s also online). Boy was I ever wrong. See if you can get through the whole thing. I’ll wait here…

… I mean, WOW, right? Was that not THE most pretentious, condescending, poorly-organized thesis-vacant piece of shit you’ve encountered in a long, long time? It’s like Lewis Lapham at his absolute worst, except that it’s actually making you stupider while it’s boring you. Pretty much anytime an article starts with “if Orwell were alive today,” you know you’re dealing with someone with about as much intellectual integrity (and, probably, about as much actual intellect) as your average FOX News talking head.

If you make it past the ponderously vapid beginning, and through the “thems was the days” recollection of the author’s first porno-viewing, you’ll eventually get to the part where he decides to “interview” Sasha Grey (famous hardcore actress with viable mainstream crossover prospects- see above) and Virginie Despentes (who wrote Baise Moi). Basically, he gets them on the phone and lets them run through their talking points about sex, sexuality, and porn, all of which you can take or leave, based on your own already-existing opinion(s) re pornography. I’m mostly inclined to take them, albeit with a few grains of salt, but the point is that you’ll learn nothing new here.

 The conversations are boring because the author doesn’t have the guts to actually talk WITH these women about what they do, why they do it, who they (think that they) do it for, what it all means, or any of the other things this article is ostensibly “about.” Though he himself seems to feel that porn is a pox on society, and both of these women therefore in some sense culpable for whatever exactly he thinks is wrong with our culture (which he seems to feel is more or less everything) he doesn’t confront them with his concerns about the “message” their work sends, the “harm” it may or may not be causing, the nature of that harm if in fact such exists, or whatever his problem is. (He seems to be concered about decreasing sperm counts, something about The Matrix, and capitalism in general. Join the fucking club, Jack.) So, instead of talking WITH them, he lets each woman sort of talk AT him, and then he mocks them in his article, once they’re safely off the phone.

It’s an incredibly dismissive way for a man–who would doubtless insist on his own militant feminism–to treat really-existing women: basically, the implication is that what Sasha Grey believes about her own work and about sex work in general is irrelevant, and the authority of her personal experience doesn’t matter, because she’s had a dick up her ass and he can watch a video of it any time he wants to– even while he’s on the phone with her!

What it comes down to in the end, is that this “critique” of porno-culture trades in EXACTLY the same currency of titillation that porn itself does. The “investigation” is nothing more and nothing less than an excuse to participate, and all the histrionics about the fate of the world are just so much colon-massage for the Liberal conscience.

The saddest part is that if you read all the way to the very, very bottom (you don’t have to actually do this; I wish I hadn’t) the guy eventually gets around to saying some things that are worth thinking about–or might be, if someone with any credibility left were saying them. Yes, pornography of all kinds is now instantly available all the time in a way it never was before (though isn’t even this observation nearly a decade old?). That HAS to have an impact on the culture–on the way children first come to understand sex, probably to some degree on how adolescents are given to understand their own sexuality, how they’re initiated into its pracitce, on how we (adolescents as well as adults) think and relate to each other, on the way we understand sex and its place in the culture, and on the way we actually have it with each other. (In all his talk about porn as “fake sex,” the author never once points out that porn isn’t, actually, a simulation at all. It’s not a dirty drawing or a stroke-book. Actual are people are having actual sex–they’re just not you.)

ANY of those topics would have made more than adequate fodder for an essay, or a book of them for that matter. It’s important stuff, and fascinating besides. But the few bits of thought-provoking analysis in this enormous jerk-off of an article are buried under so much idiocy, pretension, posturing, digression, and shrill fearmongering, that you can’t help but wonder if what you’re seeing is more like “monkeys with typewriters” than anything else. 

 

 

About as controversial as "Antichrist Superstar"-era Marilyn Manson, give or take some double penetration and that guy who called himself Twiggy.

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64 Comments

  1. mike young

      this is well written, justin. nice work.

      “I’m sitting in a rumpus room with some friends, surrounded by a pastiche of half-empty bottles of Crystal Pepsi, Cherry Coke, miscellaneous snack standards and bits and pieces of Super Nintendo paraphernalia.”

      this dude may or may not need to look up the definition of pastiche, but he does need to look up the definition of his own honesty. that’s not a pastiche he’s surrounded by. he’s not borrowing or satirizing anything. ’tis with full ownership and sincerity he’s indulging in that shit, and just because he can kid himself otherwise with some velor of intellectual justification doesn’t make his false consciousness any less epic phail.

      the definition of progressive asshole is making progress on being an asshole. good job “rediscovering” your masculinity, dougie.

  2. mike young

      this is well written, justin. nice work.

      “I’m sitting in a rumpus room with some friends, surrounded by a pastiche of half-empty bottles of Crystal Pepsi, Cherry Coke, miscellaneous snack standards and bits and pieces of Super Nintendo paraphernalia.”

      this dude may or may not need to look up the definition of pastiche, but he does need to look up the definition of his own honesty. that’s not a pastiche he’s surrounded by. he’s not borrowing or satirizing anything. ’tis with full ownership and sincerity he’s indulging in that shit, and just because he can kid himself otherwise with some velor of intellectual justification doesn’t make his false consciousness any less epic phail.

      the definition of progressive asshole is making progress on being an asshole. good job “rediscovering” your masculinity, dougie.

  3. Justin Taylor

      hah! i love it when you love me, mike.

  4. Justin Taylor

      hah! i love it when you love me, mike.

  5. Matthew Simmons

      Also, he lifted the porn dialogue for his “memory” from Kool Keith’s Dr. Octagon record. Hello, Street Cred!

  6. Matthew Simmons

      Also, he lifted the porn dialogue for his “memory” from Kool Keith’s Dr. Octagon record. Hello, Street Cred!

  7. Jimmy Chen

      justin, i always find your points very viable. good job

  8. Jimmy Chen

      justin, i always find your points very viable. good job

  9. davidpeak

      awww yeah. moose bumps.

  10. davidpeak

      awww yeah. moose bumps.

  11. Adam Humphreys

      Confused with the title, Justin.
      Did you read their hipster-bating article a while back. Shit was UNREAL bad. Same author too.

  12. Adam Humphreys

      Confused with the title, Justin.
      Did you read their hipster-bating article a while back. Shit was UNREAL bad. Same author too.

  13. Justin Taylor

      Adam- the title is a play on Propagandhi’s album “Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes,” a fairly obscure reference I guess, but both Prop and Adbusters are Canadian, so whatever. I guess it would have made more sense as “Yesterday’s Hipsters, Today’s Asshats” but that would have obscured the reference further. I don’t know.

      Yes, I did see that article on hipsters a while back- It was equally as bad, and for all the same reasons. It makes complete sense to me that the same clown is behind both. Thanks for the tip.

  14. Justin Taylor

      Adam- the title is a play on Propagandhi’s album “Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes,” a fairly obscure reference I guess, but both Prop and Adbusters are Canadian, so whatever. I guess it would have made more sense as “Yesterday’s Hipsters, Today’s Asshats” but that would have obscured the reference further. I don’t know.

      Yes, I did see that article on hipsters a while back- It was equally as bad, and for all the same reasons. It makes complete sense to me that the same clown is behind both. Thanks for the tip.

  15. Adam Humphreys

      I am Canadian too. Didn’t know you had propaghandi here. Those two things (prop and adbusters) have similar problem, I think. Only have heard ‘nation states’ though. Think lyrics include the word “neocolonials.”

  16. Adam Humphreys

      I am Canadian too. Didn’t know you had propaghandi here. Those two things (prop and adbusters) have similar problem, I think. Only have heard ‘nation states’ though. Think lyrics include the word “neocolonials.”

  17. Justin Taylor

      Yes, indeed. Well I was a big Propagadhi fan in high school- I probably still know all the words to their first three records- “How to Clean Everything,” “Less Talk, More Rock” and “Where Quantity is Job #1.” “Today’s Empires” was where I sort of lost track of them, it just wasn’t a very good record, and the other dude left to form The Weakerthans, etc etc. i think going back toward hardcore was a mistaken for them.

  18. Justin Taylor

      Yes, indeed. Well I was a big Propagadhi fan in high school- I probably still know all the words to their first three records- “How to Clean Everything,” “Less Talk, More Rock” and “Where Quantity is Job #1.” “Today’s Empires” was where I sort of lost track of them, it just wasn’t a very good record, and the other dude left to form The Weakerthans, etc etc. i think going back toward hardcore was a mistaken for them.

  19. pr

      Great job, Justin. Sort of as a digression, I don’t actually believe that pornography is more available now because of the internet and I know I’m wrong about that. When I was a kid, porn was in every man’s sho closet or vhs player and we all checked it out as much as we wanted. And when I was ten I actually had TIME to do shit like that, because my whole life wasn’t wildly over-scheduled with early SAT classes, chess, soccer and summers at camp in Maine buidling canoes or at John Hopkins taking college level science courses. Maybe kids sit around looking at porn and I just don’t know about it, but I do know tons of kids- having two myself- and they are so fucking busy they can’t spend endless afternoons amongst the shoes flipping through hustler.

      Just a thought.

  20. pr

      Great job, Justin. Sort of as a digression, I don’t actually believe that pornography is more available now because of the internet and I know I’m wrong about that. When I was a kid, porn was in every man’s sho closet or vhs player and we all checked it out as much as we wanted. And when I was ten I actually had TIME to do shit like that, because my whole life wasn’t wildly over-scheduled with early SAT classes, chess, soccer and summers at camp in Maine buidling canoes or at John Hopkins taking college level science courses. Maybe kids sit around looking at porn and I just don’t know about it, but I do know tons of kids- having two myself- and they are so fucking busy they can’t spend endless afternoons amongst the shoes flipping through hustler.

      Just a thought.

  21. Justin Taylor

      pr- Yeah, it’s true that porn has always been with us. Another flaw in the “if Orwell” premise. Fair to assume that you had your pick of dirty postcards, drawings, photos, and of course actual prostitutes, in O’s own day. It’s always been with us and always will be, in some form or other.

      But the difference in volume and degree is a very real one. there’s a line in one of David Markson’s books where he talks about how basically every writer you can think of up until the 20th century would have (1) ridden a horse, and (2) shit in a pot. Then all of a sudden, that’s not the case anymore, and doesn’t that have to matter in some sort of fundamental, albeit possibly intangible way? He suggests yes, and I’m with him. Well, corollary to that, consider the following- any man of about my age and station (and quite possibly any person, period, but at the very least, any man) has probably seen more documentary evidence (specifically photographs and videos) of human genitals and acts of intercourse in any given year of his/her adolescence than any given person of any generation previous ever saw altogether in their entire life–depicted or in person. I’m not issuing an opinion as to whether that’s good, bad, both, or neither, but I am saying that the numbers themselves are so large that we should act and investigate based on the assumption that they have had and continue to have some sort of transformative effect.

  22. Justin Taylor

      pr- Yeah, it’s true that porn has always been with us. Another flaw in the “if Orwell” premise. Fair to assume that you had your pick of dirty postcards, drawings, photos, and of course actual prostitutes, in O’s own day. It’s always been with us and always will be, in some form or other.

      But the difference in volume and degree is a very real one. there’s a line in one of David Markson’s books where he talks about how basically every writer you can think of up until the 20th century would have (1) ridden a horse, and (2) shit in a pot. Then all of a sudden, that’s not the case anymore, and doesn’t that have to matter in some sort of fundamental, albeit possibly intangible way? He suggests yes, and I’m with him. Well, corollary to that, consider the following- any man of about my age and station (and quite possibly any person, period, but at the very least, any man) has probably seen more documentary evidence (specifically photographs and videos) of human genitals and acts of intercourse in any given year of his/her adolescence than any given person of any generation previous ever saw altogether in their entire life–depicted or in person. I’m not issuing an opinion as to whether that’s good, bad, both, or neither, but I am saying that the numbers themselves are so large that we should act and investigate based on the assumption that they have had and continue to have some sort of transformative effect.

  23. Adam Humphreys

      Justin did you go to the n+1 hipster thing?
      I went there. A lot of the people trashing ‘hipsters’ there seemed to have the same problem as prop and adbusters.

      Like, they pretend than they can objectively see something and then call it immoral but fail to see themselves as active participants in the whole thing. Christian Lorentzen was funny.

  24. Adam Humphreys

      Justin did you go to the n+1 hipster thing?
      I went there. A lot of the people trashing ‘hipsters’ there seemed to have the same problem as prop and adbusters.

      Like, they pretend than they can objectively see something and then call it immoral but fail to see themselves as active participants in the whole thing. Christian Lorentzen was funny.

  25. Justin Taylor

      No, I wanted to go to that, but I didn’t make it. I’ll be interested to read the transcript though, when they publish it. I really loved their previous pamphlet on stuff they wish they’d known in college, or whatever the exact title was.

      As a general rule, I dig n+1. It’s a shame if they didn’t identify themselves as participant observers–though I think they’re usually pretty good about doing that. Maybe they felt like it went without saying? They’ll be the first ones to tell you that they’re ivy-educated, petit-bourgeois-class radicals with a strong academic bias. But self-identification is not the same thing as apology, and that’s what I like about them. They tell me who they are, basically so I know where they’re coming from. Then they get into what they feel is important, and I’m free to engage or not.

      How was Dj/rupture? His records are revelations. i could kick myself for having missed that thing.

  26. Justin Taylor

      No, I wanted to go to that, but I didn’t make it. I’ll be interested to read the transcript though, when they publish it. I really loved their previous pamphlet on stuff they wish they’d known in college, or whatever the exact title was.

      As a general rule, I dig n+1. It’s a shame if they didn’t identify themselves as participant observers–though I think they’re usually pretty good about doing that. Maybe they felt like it went without saying? They’ll be the first ones to tell you that they’re ivy-educated, petit-bourgeois-class radicals with a strong academic bias. But self-identification is not the same thing as apology, and that’s what I like about them. They tell me who they are, basically so I know where they’re coming from. Then they get into what they feel is important, and I’m free to engage or not.

      How was Dj/rupture? His records are revelations. i could kick myself for having missed that thing.

  27. john sakkis

      sasha gray is like a highschool sophomore who’s just discovered symbolism reading A Separate Piece… god she cums off retarded.

  28. john sakkis

      sasha gray is like a highschool sophomore who’s just discovered symbolism reading A Separate Piece… god she cums off retarded.

  29. Adam Humphreys

      DJ rupture was mad dorky. He looked like a lava life ad or something. Talked about peruvian hipsters while playing some obscure tonal music.
      I dig uproot, though, totally.

  30. Adam Humphreys

      DJ rupture was mad dorky. He looked like a lava life ad or something. Talked about peruvian hipsters while playing some obscure tonal music.
      I dig uproot, though, totally.

  31. pr

      Two things: I didn’t find many of the “britney” things on n plus one very “I am a participanty” at all. That one pice that just hates on her? It was like an ivy league letter to US magazine. It was so not self conscious.I would have thought better of it if she had just written “I hate pretty blond women with big tits and tons of money”.
      Anyway, I try to read them with regularity. I sort of liked when they got this blue collared background friend of theirs to write about how he hated people in ironic trucker hats. That one was alright.

      “any man of about my age and station (and quite possibly any person, period, but at the very least, any man) has probably seen more documentary evidence (specifically photographs and videos) of human genitals and acts of intercourse in any given year of his/her adolescence than any given person of any generation previous ever saw altogether in their entire life–depicted or in person”- I just am not so sure of this. Some people have always been obsessed with porn and spend every free minute engaging with it and that was true at more or less any time in history since photography became mainstream and then television added a new dimension as does now the internet- but I can’t believe- and I KNOW I am wrong, but I just can’t– that the internet changes people. People are people. Some watch porn all the time or spend every afternoon in their dad’s closets with hustler. And. Before that, I have no doubt that if a man in an urban environement (maybe that is key) wanted to go watch some girl take her clothes off EVERY night of his entire life, that’s what he did. I know Tolstoy dedicated years of his life to whores- YEARS–and God knows he didn’t just fuck them, he watched them fuck each other, cause that’s pretty standard whore/porn stuff.

      Anyway, you are right Justin. I am wrong. I’m just thinking out loud.

  32. pr

      Two things: I didn’t find many of the “britney” things on n plus one very “I am a participanty” at all. That one pice that just hates on her? It was like an ivy league letter to US magazine. It was so not self conscious.I would have thought better of it if she had just written “I hate pretty blond women with big tits and tons of money”.
      Anyway, I try to read them with regularity. I sort of liked when they got this blue collared background friend of theirs to write about how he hated people in ironic trucker hats. That one was alright.

      “any man of about my age and station (and quite possibly any person, period, but at the very least, any man) has probably seen more documentary evidence (specifically photographs and videos) of human genitals and acts of intercourse in any given year of his/her adolescence than any given person of any generation previous ever saw altogether in their entire life–depicted or in person”- I just am not so sure of this. Some people have always been obsessed with porn and spend every free minute engaging with it and that was true at more or less any time in history since photography became mainstream and then television added a new dimension as does now the internet- but I can’t believe- and I KNOW I am wrong, but I just can’t– that the internet changes people. People are people. Some watch porn all the time or spend every afternoon in their dad’s closets with hustler. And. Before that, I have no doubt that if a man in an urban environement (maybe that is key) wanted to go watch some girl take her clothes off EVERY night of his entire life, that’s what he did. I know Tolstoy dedicated years of his life to whores- YEARS–and God knows he didn’t just fuck them, he watched them fuck each other, cause that’s pretty standard whore/porn stuff.

      Anyway, you are right Justin. I am wrong. I’m just thinking out loud.

  33. davidpeak

      I used to read books and listen to music all the time. And then the internet came around. And now I spend all my time on the internet reading words and listening to music.

  34. davidpeak

      I used to read books and listen to music all the time. And then the internet came around. And now I spend all my time on the internet reading words and listening to music.

  35. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      really really appreciate this post.

  36. Tim Jones-Yelvington

      really really appreciate this post.

  37. Nathan Tyree

      I like porn. There, I said it.

  38. Nathan Tyree

      I like porn. There, I said it.

  39. André

      Adbusters disappoints me every time. Maybe 12% of it is worth reading, probably that figure is much lower. In my first year of university they printed an issue that pretended an economic apocalypse had already happened and I enjoyed it, it’s still fun to read if you don’t take it too seriously, but in retrospect I guess it was a circle-jerk over the potential deaths of millions of people.

      Hey, how about that, adbusters is pornography for people who want to kill popular culture because they are too brain-dead to make their own way in the world. It was great when I was 18 and I thought I should already be one of Canada’s pre-eminent thinkers… even though I’d only heard of someone like “Plato” from a Lucasarts adventure game I played when I was nine.

  40. André

      Adbusters disappoints me every time. Maybe 12% of it is worth reading, probably that figure is much lower. In my first year of university they printed an issue that pretended an economic apocalypse had already happened and I enjoyed it, it’s still fun to read if you don’t take it too seriously, but in retrospect I guess it was a circle-jerk over the potential deaths of millions of people.

      Hey, how about that, adbusters is pornography for people who want to kill popular culture because they are too brain-dead to make their own way in the world. It was great when I was 18 and I thought I should already be one of Canada’s pre-eminent thinkers… even though I’d only heard of someone like “Plato” from a Lucasarts adventure game I played when I was nine.

  41. JW Veldhoen

      Kalle Lassen used to buy front-list garbage with a platinum card at a bookstore where I used to work, and he’d often talk about his yacht.

  42. JW Veldhoen

      Kalle Lassen used to buy front-list garbage with a platinum card at a bookstore where I used to work, and he’d often talk about his yacht.

  43. JW Veldhoen

      But then again at least they edit Adbusters don’t they? What’s is with my repetition of “used to”. I think it is because I’m Canadian.

  44. JW Veldhoen

      “What’s is”? I better stop now while I’m ahead. Yikes.

  45. JW Veldhoen

      But then again at least they edit Adbusters don’t they? What’s is with my repetition of “used to”. I think it is because I’m Canadian.

  46. JW Veldhoen

      “What’s is”? I better stop now while I’m ahead. Yikes.

  47. Steven Trull

      Me, too. There, you and I said it.

  48. Steven Trull

      Me, too. There, you and I said it.

  49. Steven Trull

      John Sakkis? I’m glad you’re my neighbor (and congratulations on RUDE GIRL). Let’s go get drunk on orange juice (I don’t drink alcohol) and talk a long time into the night.

  50. Steven Trull

      John Sakkis? I’m glad you’re my neighbor (and congratulations on RUDE GIRL). Let’s go get drunk on orange juice (I don’t drink alcohol) and talk a long time into the night.

  51. Catherine Lacey

      I would vote for “Today’s Hipsters, Today’s Asshats.”

  52. Catherine Lacey

      I would vote for “Today’s Hipsters, Today’s Asshats.”

  53. gena

      i read none of this but i saw sasha grey in the picture and i got excited.

      fuckkkk yeah son

  54. gena

      i read none of this but i saw sasha grey in the picture and i got excited.

      fuckkkk yeah son

  55. ripple rip

      I read the article and quite liked it, but I don’t really understand your point….you seem to attack the person not the ideas, prettttty weak dont you think>? it feels like “blah blah blah…pretensious…blah blah blah”. Without making a point of your own you come off like a complete jerk off yourself.

  56. ripple rip

      I read the article and quite liked it, but I don’t really understand your point….you seem to attack the person not the ideas, prettttty weak dont you think>? it feels like “blah blah blah…pretensious…blah blah blah”. Without making a point of your own you come off like a complete jerk off yourself.

  57. Ryan Call

      i guess you missed this paragraph from justins post?

      “What it comes down to in the end, is that this “critique” of porno-culture trades in EXACTLY the same currency of titillation that porn itself does. The “investigation” is nothing more and nothing less than an excuse to participate, and all the histrionics about the fate of the world are just so much colon-massage for the Liberal conscience.”

  58. Ryan Call

      i guess you missed this paragraph from justins post?

      “What it comes down to in the end, is that this “critique” of porno-culture trades in EXACTLY the same currency of titillation that porn itself does. The “investigation” is nothing more and nothing less than an excuse to participate, and all the histrionics about the fate of the world are just so much colon-massage for the Liberal conscience.”

  59. pr

      and what a good point it is.

  60. pr

      and what a good point it is.

  61. bryan

      this kind of writing makes me glad that htmlgiant exists and that i still subscribe to it in google reader. good job, justin.

  62. bryan

      this kind of writing makes me glad that htmlgiant exists and that i still subscribe to it in google reader. good job, justin.

  63. Sarvesh

      i read none of this but i saw sasha grey in the picture and i got excited. i guess you missed this paragraph from justins post? Hey, how about that, adbusters is pornography for people who want to kill popular culture because they are too brain-dead to make their own way in the world. It was great when I was 18 and I thought I should already be one ofindias pre-eminent thinkers… even though I’d only heard of someone like “Plato” from a Lucasarts adventure game I played when I was nine.

  64. Sarvesh

      i read none of this but i saw sasha grey in the picture and i got excited. i guess you missed this paragraph from justins post? Hey, how about that, adbusters is pornography for people who want to kill popular culture because they are too brain-dead to make their own way in the world. It was great when I was 18 and I thought I should already be one ofindias pre-eminent thinkers… even though I’d only heard of someone like “Plato” from a Lucasarts adventure game I played when I was nine.