April 23rd, 2009 / 5:40 pm
 Power Quote

Stupid as gherkins?

flaubertAs I waited to be found unfit for jury duty today, down at the Brooklyn Supreme Court, I came across a line in Sentimental Education that made me chuckle. It helped get me through a miserably boring morning, and I’d like to share it with you.

‘All this lacks form and colour,’ Frédérick’s neighbour continued. ‘I do trow, honoured sir, that we have degenerated. In the good old days of Loys the Eleventh, nay even of Benjamin Constant, there was more of a rebellious spirit among the scholars of the town. I deem them as meek as sheep, as stupid as gherkins, and by my troth, well fitted to be grocers.’

Now that I think about it, maybe the reason I was not selected was that I quoted this (without attribution) to Judge Chun when he asked if there were any possible impediments to my being an impartial juror.

Anyone looking to get out of duty, feel free to use the quote, but don’t come whining to me if the judge isn’t a fan of literature and throws you in the brig.

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13 Comments

  1. April 23rd, 2009 / 9:47 pm Blake Butler—

      sean kilpatrick wrote that, not flaubert

      dang now i want to read flaubert

  2. April 23rd, 2009 / 5:47 pm Blake Butler—

      sean kilpatrick wrote that, not flaubert

      dang now i want to read flaubert

  3. April 23rd, 2009 / 5:54 pm pr—

      Madame Bovary is really, really good. Really really really good.

  4. April 23rd, 2009 / 10:06 pm Matthew Simmons—

      I shoulda been a grocer.

      I got out of jury duty by accidently getting picked for a trial where dude was totally guilty and reached a plea deal. I read a lot of David Foster Wallace while sitting in the jury room.

  5. April 23rd, 2009 / 6:06 pm Matthew Simmons—

      I shoulda been a grocer.

      I got out of jury duty by accidently getting picked for a trial where dude was totally guilty and reached a plea deal. I read a lot of David Foster Wallace while sitting in the jury room.

  6. April 23rd, 2009 / 6:10 pm pr—

      Also, gherkins? Aren’t they those delicious pickles? Super salty heaven.

  7. April 23rd, 2009 / 10:20 pm Drew—

      Guilty of being delicious.

  8. April 23rd, 2009 / 6:20 pm Drew—

      Guilty of being delicious.

  9. April 23rd, 2009 / 11:32 pm Paul Squires—

      “I am indeed in contempt of court your honour, but my contempt was forced on me by the ridiculousness of your attire.”

  10. April 23rd, 2009 / 7:32 pm Paul Squires—

      “I am indeed in contempt of court your honour, but my contempt was forced on me by the ridiculousness of your attire.”

  11. April 24th, 2009 / 8:38 am Boring weekend update « Suffer the Gringo—

      […] Tags: weekend I don’t have to return for another day of jury duty (read about it here), but it was an overall okay experience. Lots of sitting around, but it could be way worse than […]

  12. April 24th, 2009 / 9:28 pm william—

      Any idiot can get out of jury duty even without Flaubert.

  13. April 24th, 2009 / 5:28 pm william—

      Any idiot can get out of jury duty even without Flaubert.