August 7th, 2011 / 5:12 pm


Likes: Penis shorts. Announcers who just say things. Announcers who call the basket “the hole” and “the well.” True no-look at 1:36. Bird threatens a mullet. Oh fuck it, Bird goes mullet. NBA players with flabby, spaghetti arms. McHale ugly and gracious. Robert Parish wearing number 00. Robert Parish having 2 ounces of weed Fed-exed to his door in 1991, busted, pays fine of $37. Ainge much like a gray squirrel. Socks striped. Socks up to knees. Opponents (Atlanta Hawks) falling off bench/waving towels/cheering for (4:13, 5:07, etc.), Bird. DJ gravitas. No one in crowd texting. Cameraman at 4:52 frames up stark silhouettes of back of crowd member’s heads–attempt at cinematography. Shot at 4:13 (slo-mo 4:48) will make you laugh or go get a beer: They both release endorphins.

Dislikes: Fan in salmon colored shirt (3:55). Not a good hue. It makes a person appear sallow.

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  1. L@rstonovich


  2. Frank Tas, the Raptor

      I liked hearing the word “Bird” over and over!

  3. brian foley

      I bought your book upon reading this.

  4. mimi

      You had me at “Penis shorts”.

  5. MFBomb

      I love “penis shorts.”

      BTW, the NBA was more violent back then–interesting how people perceive the league as being more violent today (I think we know what that’s really about, though…).

      Fights and brawls all the time between the guys in penis shorts. 

  6. Noah Falck

      Very well done. 

  7. postitbreakup

      right? pretty much the only thing that could get me to watch a basketball clip

  8. Matthew Salesses

      somebody’s been reading bill simmons’s mailbag

  9. Leapsloth14

      I have not, but my bro sent me this video, so he might have been. Going to Google now (or send me link?)

  10. Leapsloth14

      Ok, found it

      You’re saying:

      1. His mailbag references the shot at 4:13 (prob where my bro got the video link and forwarded it to me).

      2. Simmons comments on videos.

      I’m not a Simmons reader (though I just read that link and he’s obviously more perceptive than average sports guy [low bar] so might read in future. So thanks for leading me to him.

      I think we have room for more than one look-closer-at-videos-make-“clever”-comments person.

      I guess?

  11. mimi


  12. Kevin Sampsell

      I hate the Celtics, but I really enjoyed your breakdown of this, Sean. Next time, do a clip of some 76ers action (Iverson, Barkley, Dr. J, Daryl Dawkins, Manute Bol!). Lee Klein and I would both appreciate that.

  13. NLY

      The comments are great. Full of Kobe fans and racial tension.

  14. Matthew Salesses

      grantland has some good sports writing by other writers. check out the longer pieces by jay caspian kang, like the ichiro piece, and roxane posted something on colson whitehead covering the world series of poker.

  15. Daniel Bailey

      i love at the 2:00 mark when bird is surrounded by 3 atlanta defenders and he just dribbles them to sleep or at least into a state of no concern, fakes a pass,  and nails the jumper. 

  16. Leapsloth14

      Exactly. He has some weird thing where he looks a little lost while dribbling but he’s REALLY not lost. He has this way with spacing. D Wade has some of this, just a little space and it’s 2 points. Prince for Detroit used to do it some, too.

  17. Corey Zeller

      wow, this was great to watch