die my pretty
The neighborhood is not glow. For some reason, dandelions have swarmed the lawns of our imaginations (and also our lawns). A vexation unseen. Everyone asks, “How do you kill the dandelions?”
Here’s one: What exactly is wrong with dandelions?
Someone relate this to writing.
Tags: dandelions, prose poetry as bastard?, swarm of unwanted
Dandelions are like adverbs. You think they are pretty at first but then they make all your sentences bloat. So you have to kill them.
But then, I do kinda like dandelions and I’m not an adverb-killing purist — so maybe not.
Dandelions are like adverbs. You think they are pretty at first but then they make all your sentences bloat. So you have to kill them.
But then, I do kinda like dandelions and I’m not an adverb-killing purist — so maybe not.
Dandelions are like Robert Pattinson. You think they are pretty at first but then when you look a little closer and expose them to direct sunlight, you discover that they shine like a thousand diamonds. It is ‘god damn glorious’, not unlike a clone of famous short fictioneer James Franco who is somehow even more beautiful than the man himself.
Dandelions are like Robert Pattinson. You think they are pretty at first but then when you look a little closer and expose them to direct sunlight, you discover that they shine like a thousand diamonds. It is ‘god damn glorious’, not unlike a clone of famous short fictioneer James Franco who is somehow even more beautiful than the man himself.
My grandma told me that if you rub them on your chin and your chin turns yellow it means you’re in love. Your chin always turns yellow, you are always in love. Also they’re edible!
My grandma told me that if you rub them on your chin and your chin turns yellow it means you’re in love. Your chin always turns yellow, you are always in love. Also they’re edible!
Like Canon They Cannot Be Killed
Dandelions desire to perpetuate, and to perpetuate other like them. Always blowing the dead ones causes new populations of their clones to take root.
Like Canon They Cannot Be Killed
Dandelions desire to perpetuate, and to perpetuate other like them. Always blowing the dead ones causes new populations of their clones to take root.
They make you wet the bed remember?
They make you wet the bed remember?
Thems buttercups
Thems buttercups
You can chop off its head but the weed continues to thrive; ergo, dandelions are like Ray Carver.
You can chop off its head but the weed continues to thrive; ergo, dandelions are like Ray Carver.
oh dang. you’re right. dang.
oh dang. you’re right. dang.
I think they’re great. They are the bane of my grandfather’s existence, though.
I think they’re great. They are the bane of my grandfather’s existence, though.
there made of plant matter just like books!
there made of plant matter just like books!
UH, that is my yard. They are dandy-lions, believe me.
UH, that is my yard. They are dandy-lions, believe me.
Oh I get it the buttercups yelllow your chin, my bad.
Anyway, dandelion tea anyone?
dandelions reproduce asexually, from the girl dandelions. this makes boy dandelions superfluous!
Oh I get it the buttercups yelllow your chin, my bad.
Anyway, dandelion tea anyone?
dandelions reproduce asexually, from the girl dandelions. this makes boy dandelions superfluous!
Blank thing is like other blank. It makes me feel feelings I describe. Your turn.
Blank thing is like other blank. It makes me feel feelings I describe. Your turn.
You can eat dandelions and drink them.
1. You can take the flowers. Get shake n bake and oil and butter milk. Heat the oil. Put the flowers in buttermilk and then flour them in shake n bake. Then fry them. They taste like fried eggplant.
2. You can take the leaves and make a salad with them. First boil the leaves to get the weird after taste out.
3. Take the stems, and i mean A LOT of stems. Bake the stems until brown. Then smash them up into pieces. Then put them in your coffee maker and make coffee. It makes a nice dark coffee that is tasty. It doesn’t contain caffeine, but it contains a large amount of vitamin C. You will get high off the amount of vitamin C that is in dandelion coffee.
Also the reason there is so many dandelions is because dandelions are from europe and are an evasive plant. They have no natural predators in america.
You can eat dandelions and drink them.
1. You can take the flowers. Get shake n bake and oil and butter milk. Heat the oil. Put the flowers in buttermilk and then flour them in shake n bake. Then fry them. They taste like fried eggplant.
2. You can take the leaves and make a salad with them. First boil the leaves to get the weird after taste out.
3. Take the stems, and i mean A LOT of stems. Bake the stems until brown. Then smash them up into pieces. Then put them in your coffee maker and make coffee. It makes a nice dark coffee that is tasty. It doesn’t contain caffeine, but it contains a large amount of vitamin C. You will get high off the amount of vitamin C that is in dandelion coffee.
Also the reason there is so many dandelions is because dandelions are from europe and are an evasive plant. They have no natural predators in america.
when i was a kid, i was always happier i’d found a taraxacum flower ready to spread its seeds, so i’d yank it out of the ground and get to blowing on that parachute ball until it had nothing left on its head, because i thought i was helping facilitate the end of its life cycle. but now i’ve read online that the flowers were never actually really dead in this state, and that i’m responsible for the cruel decapitation death of virtually every single one i had gotten my hands on. they grew everywhere in my neighborhood, growing up. everywhere.
dandelion wine!
also dandelion root tonic! fix your liver after drinking yourself blind on dandelion wine!
spring! manic episodes! sudden outbursts of creativity that are completely unstoppable. and, post-manic episode, these outbursts look completely boring; common, even. but! fermented, crushed, tinctured, maybe something that will save you, keep you drunk and happy and manic again.
dandelion wine!
also dandelion root tonic! fix your liver after drinking yourself blind on dandelion wine!
spring! manic episodes! sudden outbursts of creativity that are completely unstoppable. and, post-manic episode, these outbursts look completely boring; common, even. but! fermented, crushed, tinctured, maybe something that will save you, keep you drunk and happy and manic again.
dandelions are wack
dandelions are wack
I’m excited to try this. I’m going to try this tomorrow, actually.
I’m excited to try this. I’m going to try this tomorrow, actually.
they are not weeds. they are beautiful little signs of spring and i love them. and i picture them as little lion’s manes. so, whatever.
they are not weeds. they are beautiful little signs of spring and i love them. and i picture them as little lion’s manes. so, whatever.
forget the dandelions
kill that deer!
forget the dandelions
kill that deer!
(Someone) had a baby and its *flicking head of dandelion off with thumb flick* _head_ popped off.
(Someone) had a baby and its *flicking head of dandelion off with thumb flick* _head_ popped off.
I think the roots make better coffee, not so much the stems. Roast them in the oven then grind them in a coffee grinder. But yes! Eat them up. Like bad poems in the submission pile. What’s nourishing isn’t always promoted.
I think the roots make better coffee, not so much the stems. Roast them in the oven then grind them in a coffee grinder. But yes! Eat them up. Like bad poems in the submission pile. What’s nourishing isn’t always promoted.