April 19th, 2009 / 5:40 pm
Random

DOES ANYONE EVER THINK “I AM THE SHIT” AFTER WRITING SOMETHING OR GETTING SOMETHING PUBLISHED?

golf_trophy

at the risk of eliciting the charge of “stupidest ever” from justin taylor, i realized today that i have never felt like i was the shit for having done anything. granted, i am assuredly a piece of shit, and not at all successful in some ways, but has anything you’ve done made you think, “i am the shit?” usually, if i get something published this is what happens: i go “hell yeah” in my head while nodding, and then i think “wait, am i really happy?” then the feeling is gone. is it good to think, “i am the shit?” or is it bad? does it help you or does it hurt you? i don’t mean these questions as hypotheticals, i mean, how do you the reader feel. if you don’t want to discuss that, then you can use the comments sections to demean me. oh wait, i remember this one time i was at a gym and i pointed to a garbage can and said to the person next to me, “check this out.” then i punted a football right into the garbage can. i definitely thought, “i am the shit” after that. do you feel more like the shit when you are in a print publication? is it the people also in the publication? is it the editor? the journal?

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114 Comments

  1. pr

      This is actually a valid and interesting thing, the “psychology’ of success and failure.
      After one of my bigger publications, I was very excited, maybe stunned, but then I couldn’t write for three or six months or something crazy like that. At the time, that freaked me out. I might have even gotten ill from the stress. I know I barfed at the reading that the magazine had where I read. It was a while ago, so whatever. But the pressure! Then once, my publication stress of whatever wore off, I had a very, very productive period. Ah. I wish I had realized back then what a productive time it was- I sort of took that period for granted or something. Which brings me to-
      One thing-I have always felt so GRATEFUL for any publication- which is not the same as “I am the shit”. I still feel grateful for every little publication.
      Lots and lots of rejection can affect me in various ways- sometimes it makes me go submit to 20 places (good response). Other times, I get sad and hopeless.
      Anyway, the fragile egos of writers. Ha.

  2. Rachel

      Yeah, I just think writers are a very different breed than, um…phallic cereal ladies?

  3. Rachel

      Yeah, I just think writers are a very different breed than, um…phallic cereal ladies?

  4. Justin Taylor

      This isn’t even close to the stupidest thing you’ve ever said. That other thing I said was the stupidest ever definitely still is. This is just interesting. Also, nice pic.

  5. Justin Taylor

      This isn’t even close to the stupidest thing you’ve ever said. That other thing I said was the stupidest ever definitely still is. This is just interesting. Also, nice pic.

  6. sam pink

      pr, yes i agree with you. i think i feel thankful more than anything. also, i seem to think that i need to have low self esteem to make things that make me happy.

      justin, i think sometimes you misunderstand things. but i love you. and i will keep trying.

  7. sam pink

      pr, yes i agree with you. i think i feel thankful more than anything. also, i seem to think that i need to have low self esteem to make things that make me happy.

      justin, i think sometimes you misunderstand things. but i love you. and i will keep trying.

  8. Ian Aleksander Adams

      You know, you hit on something that rings very true: I feel so much closer to a feeling of righteous pride after getting something into the trash can across the room than I do on getting into a publication with some amazing peers.

      Well, I do at first with both, but one will keep me happy for a good part of the day and the other turns quickly into “What next? Was that early victory high point of my struggling career?”

  9. Ian Aleksander Adams

      You know, you hit on something that rings very true: I feel so much closer to a feeling of righteous pride after getting something into the trash can across the room than I do on getting into a publication with some amazing peers.

      Well, I do at first with both, but one will keep me happy for a good part of the day and the other turns quickly into “What next? Was that early victory high point of my struggling career?”

  10. sam pink

      yeah dude. i always have this feeling that i am about to never be able to think of anything again. i think id much rather be in the position of having no one like me than having a bunch of people waiting for whatever is next. i think the mentality of wanting to destroy everything you have just done is one that helps me want to make more. then again, i suck ass.

  11. Rachel

      What was the stupidest thing ever, for any laymen who may have wandered in?

  12. sam pink

      yeah dude. i always have this feeling that i am about to never be able to think of anything again. i think id much rather be in the position of having no one like me than having a bunch of people waiting for whatever is next. i think the mentality of wanting to destroy everything you have just done is one that helps me want to make more. then again, i suck ass.

  13. Rachel

      What was the stupidest thing ever, for any laymen who may have wandered in?

  14. pr

      Exactly. Sometimes, I’ll read shit I wrote that got published and think, “I wrote that?” and “I’ll never write anything as good as that again”- and the real mental illness sets it, the writer’s block and so forth. But it goes away. Or has in the past. The whole mental shit makes me hate myself though- like, why am I so mental?- and then it becomes this viscious cycle that can only be ended by some wierd destruction.

  15. sam pink

      for some reason when i just read “the stupidest thing ever” in the comment above, i immediately thought of some kind of game show, much like america’s funniest videos, only the goal would be to be stupidest and not funniest. i would probably have that show on at low volume while quietly trying to lower my heart rate, sitting on the carpet.

  16. sam pink

      for some reason when i just read “the stupidest thing ever” in the comment above, i immediately thought of some kind of game show, much like america’s funniest videos, only the goal would be to be stupidest and not funniest. i would probably have that show on at low volume while quietly trying to lower my heart rate, sitting on the carpet.

  17. Matt

      I get that ‘i am the shit’ feeling for a moment-a brief fucking moment I can’t even measure-then I get kicked in the jim jims by the idea that I can never do better than what just got accepted.

  18. Matt

      I get that ‘i am the shit’ feeling for a moment-a brief fucking moment I can’t even measure-then I get kicked in the jim jims by the idea that I can never do better than what just got accepted.

  19. gena

      i like yo questions

  20. gena

      i like yo questions

  21. conor

      when i finish a drum solo or something like that and it’s recorded and badass I have the feeling of buzz and emptiness, like I’ve smoked a whole pack of cigarettes and had my lungs replaced with lance armstrong’s, but I never feel like, “I’m the shit.” Print publications end up on my shelf, and I may be in them, but I think I’d really say I’m the shit if I were a different person, because my young little life has been spent chasing things that aren’t necessarily about being the shit, but more about continuing to commit to finding the perfect words and length of sentences to save humanity from finger fucking itself with the television and a bag of stupid juice. But the drum solo and continuing back into a song, or even a fill in the the song, placed just so, can get me feeling like I punted a ball into a garbage can after apprehended viewership.

  22. conor

      when i finish a drum solo or something like that and it’s recorded and badass I have the feeling of buzz and emptiness, like I’ve smoked a whole pack of cigarettes and had my lungs replaced with lance armstrong’s, but I never feel like, “I’m the shit.” Print publications end up on my shelf, and I may be in them, but I think I’d really say I’m the shit if I were a different person, because my young little life has been spent chasing things that aren’t necessarily about being the shit, but more about continuing to commit to finding the perfect words and length of sentences to save humanity from finger fucking itself with the television and a bag of stupid juice. But the drum solo and continuing back into a song, or even a fill in the the song, placed just so, can get me feeling like I punted a ball into a garbage can after apprehended viewership.

  23. drew

      honestly sometimes when i get an acceptance i do a little fist pump and say ‘yes!’ out loud.

  24. drew

      honestly sometimes when i get an acceptance i do a little fist pump and say ‘yes!’ out loud.

  25. Mike Meginnis

      I felt like the shit the first time I got published, which was also ironically probably my “best” publication in terms of venue reputation. Then I was sort of depressed when I actually got the thing in my hands. I was nineteen then, I think. Ever since then the pattern is more that I feel briefly elated, then suddenly ask myself why on Earth they decided to publish someone like me, then realize that I think the publication in question is shit. Of course they’re fine publications. I just can’t accept that good people would like my work.

      I had brief elation when I got a good agent for my fourth novel and again when he said he was sending it to major places. Then it slowly became clear that no one wanted my mud giant torture sky city book and I lost the agent and I was very sad. It’s been hard to submit my novels since then.

  26. Mike Meginnis

      I felt like the shit the first time I got published, which was also ironically probably my “best” publication in terms of venue reputation. Then I was sort of depressed when I actually got the thing in my hands. I was nineteen then, I think. Ever since then the pattern is more that I feel briefly elated, then suddenly ask myself why on Earth they decided to publish someone like me, then realize that I think the publication in question is shit. Of course they’re fine publications. I just can’t accept that good people would like my work.

      I had brief elation when I got a good agent for my fourth novel and again when he said he was sending it to major places. Then it slowly became clear that no one wanted my mud giant torture sky city book and I lost the agent and I was very sad. It’s been hard to submit my novels since then.

  27. michael j

      once, i kicked a basketball from beyond halfcourt and made a swish.

      true story.

      i was in jr. high, or freshman is high school and felt like ‘the man’, cuz I never feel like ‘i am the shit’ cuz i always think of happy gilmore or kanye west when they someone goes, “I ate pieces of shit like you for breakfast” and they go “you eat pieces of shit?” so i tend to stay away from all first personal referential shit phrases.

      i get really happy after a publication credit. then immediately, usually in the span 30 minutes or less, i feel worse than i did before i got the news. then when i begin to weigh the amount of submission albums i send out, plus the clique like natural of the publishing world (or so it seems), I grow very sad and depressed. because i am a complete loner who relates to people very well but cant seem to express is in a good way, so people think i’m being fake when i’m being more real than anyone they’ve probably met, i’m just a weirdo.

      i more feel like ‘the man’ when i write something that just syncs up and gives me goosebumps and i feel giddy like when i was in 4th grade and i wrote a short story about a Cyberninja that was really a rip-off of the japan-anime Guyver. Yeah.

      I feel really good when I write something that i like, rather than a publication. i view publication as helping me get un-poor and doing something i love, rather than making me feel a certain way because i’ve come to realize that when you expect things to make you feel a certain way or chase after things to feel a certain way it usually ends up fucking your face.

      true story

  28. michael j

      once, i kicked a basketball from beyond halfcourt and made a swish.

      true story.

      i was in jr. high, or freshman is high school and felt like ‘the man’, cuz I never feel like ‘i am the shit’ cuz i always think of happy gilmore or kanye west when they someone goes, “I ate pieces of shit like you for breakfast” and they go “you eat pieces of shit?” so i tend to stay away from all first personal referential shit phrases.

      i get really happy after a publication credit. then immediately, usually in the span 30 minutes or less, i feel worse than i did before i got the news. then when i begin to weigh the amount of submission albums i send out, plus the clique like natural of the publishing world (or so it seems), I grow very sad and depressed. because i am a complete loner who relates to people very well but cant seem to express is in a good way, so people think i’m being fake when i’m being more real than anyone they’ve probably met, i’m just a weirdo.

      i more feel like ‘the man’ when i write something that just syncs up and gives me goosebumps and i feel giddy like when i was in 4th grade and i wrote a short story about a Cyberninja that was really a rip-off of the japan-anime Guyver. Yeah.

      I feel really good when I write something that i like, rather than a publication. i view publication as helping me get un-poor and doing something i love, rather than making me feel a certain way because i’ve come to realize that when you expect things to make you feel a certain way or chase after things to feel a certain way it usually ends up fucking your face.

      true story

  29. sam pink

      i like your comment michael. if you find the story about the cyberninja and macguyver i will read it.

  30. sam pink

      i like your comment michael. if you find the story about the cyberninja and macguyver i will read it.

  31. Ken Baumann

      I stopped submitting shorter things to journals awhile ago. I don’t regret this decision.

      Although, as an actor, I got used to getting rejected really often. Like, upwards of 6-10 times a week. I’ve grown thick hide.

      I’m not really contributing any valid point here, other than: Yeah, that’s normal. Artists be stupid.

  32. d'anthony smith

      I often feel good after winning a big game, or even after winning a bowl game, but then I think, “Shit. I’m playing in the Sun Belt. This isn’t the Big Ten or the SEC or even the Conference USA.” And I know the Sun Belt can get me noticed. I’m on ESPN 2, ESPNU, the regional networks. I have a small following. Maybe the work I’m doing here could help me with the attention of people in the front office of an NFL team, maybe garner me a high-powered agent. But, honestly, what bothers me is the question of cultural traction. A few eyes are on me, but I want all the eyes to be on me. I want it so badly it gets into my sleep. It makes me work harder, but will my hard work ever pay off? And if it does, will it bring me any of the things I desire? Anything so small as happiness?

  33. Ken Baumann

      I stopped submitting shorter things to journals awhile ago. I don’t regret this decision.

      Although, as an actor, I got used to getting rejected really often. Like, upwards of 6-10 times a week. I’ve grown thick hide.

      I’m not really contributing any valid point here, other than: Yeah, that’s normal. Artists be stupid.

  34. d'anthony smith

      I often feel good after winning a big game, or even after winning a bowl game, but then I think, “Shit. I’m playing in the Sun Belt. This isn’t the Big Ten or the SEC or even the Conference USA.” And I know the Sun Belt can get me noticed. I’m on ESPN 2, ESPNU, the regional networks. I have a small following. Maybe the work I’m doing here could help me with the attention of people in the front office of an NFL team, maybe garner me a high-powered agent. But, honestly, what bothers me is the question of cultural traction. A few eyes are on me, but I want all the eyes to be on me. I want it so badly it gets into my sleep. It makes me work harder, but will my hard work ever pay off? And if it does, will it bring me any of the things I desire? Anything so small as happiness?

  35. Ken Baumann

      People be dumb.

      Etc.

  36. Ken Baumann

      People be dumb.

      Etc.

  37. Ken Baumann

      It’s always temporary, the happiness. It must be, right? To keep us moving?

  38. dan

      i feel the same way sam.

      i feel good about publications or that i really like something that i write for a few moments, but it passes. i haven’t achieved anything or improved anything.

      i feel like a fucking badass when i’m playing basketball and i stuff someone, or a wet a three from five feet behind the three point line, or when i stuff someone. most of my “i’m the shit” moments are when i’m playing basketball.

  39. Ken Baumann

      It’s always temporary, the happiness. It must be, right? To keep us moving?

  40. dan

      i feel the same way sam.

      i feel good about publications or that i really like something that i write for a few moments, but it passes. i haven’t achieved anything or improved anything.

      i feel like a fucking badass when i’m playing basketball and i stuff someone, or a wet a three from five feet behind the three point line, or when i stuff someone. most of my “i’m the shit” moments are when i’m playing basketball.

  41. dan

      yes, yes, yes to this

  42. dan

      yes, yes, yes to this

  43. mike young

      i think what makes me feel really good in terms of publication is when someone emails me to say “hey i read your ____ in ____ and liked it good job bye”

      i think that’s the steak sauce of publication feelings

  44. mike young

      i think what makes me feel really good in terms of publication is when someone emails me to say “hey i read your ____ in ____ and liked it good job bye”

      i think that’s the steak sauce of publication feelings

  45. mike young

      in other words, there’s between your dish being allowed onto the table, which is great and anxiety-inducing at the same time, and someone actually eating your dish and liking it, which is weird and very nice

  46. mike young

      in other words, there’s between your dish being allowed onto the table, which is great and anxiety-inducing at the same time, and someone actually eating your dish and liking it, which is weird and very nice

  47. Ryan Call

      i just threw two bullseyes on the dartboard about two minutes ago.

  48. Ryan Call

      i just threw two bullseyes on the dartboard about two minutes ago.

  49. dan

      yes, that’s a nice feeling, but it’s not like “i’m the shit.” it’s more like smiling inside the chest for me.

  50. dan

      yes, that’s a nice feeling, but it’s not like “i’m the shit.” it’s more like smiling inside the chest for me.

  51. Lincoln

      There was one time I kind of felt like the shit for several days. Normally I just feel honored and happy for a fleeting moment, then quickly sink back into soul-crushing depression.

  52. sam pink

      dan, you are the shit. fa-real bra. mike, yes i agree with the email thing. i think it might be nicer when someone asks you for something. that feels cool. ryan, i often think “i am the shit” when i’m playing darts. this comment thread seems nice and unthreatening. much like a toothless old man who is not holding a crowbar.

  53. Lincoln

      There was one time I kind of felt like the shit for several days. Normally I just feel honored and happy for a fleeting moment, then quickly sink back into soul-crushing depression.

  54. sam pink

      dan, you are the shit. fa-real bra. mike, yes i agree with the email thing. i think it might be nicer when someone asks you for something. that feels cool. ryan, i often think “i am the shit” when i’m playing darts. this comment thread seems nice and unthreatening. much like a toothless old man who is not holding a crowbar.

  55. Ken Baumann

      Yes.

  56. Ken Baumann

      Yes.

  57. Ken Baumann

      That is a victory that cannot be matched.

      I once hit three in a row and I felt more ‘in the zone’ than I’ve ever felt. The next one dinged off the metal rim.

      Hmm.

  58. Ken Baumann

      That is a victory that cannot be matched.

      I once hit three in a row and I felt more ‘in the zone’ than I’ve ever felt. The next one dinged off the metal rim.

      Hmm.

  59. Ken Baumann

      Yes, I feel a much longer term happiness when I give people things/’give stuff away’.

      Negating the self, or something.

  60. Ken Baumann

      Yes, I feel a much longer term happiness when I give people things/’give stuff away’.

      Negating the self, or something.

  61. sam pink

      ken, if this were the video game killer instinct, after your last comment, the voice would’ve said, “hyper combo.”

  62. Ryan Call

      yeah, ive never had a hat trick before. one day i will.

  63. sam pink

      ken, if this were the video game killer instinct, after your last comment, the voice would’ve said, “hyper combo.”

  64. Ryan Call

      yeah, ive never had a hat trick before. one day i will.

  65. Ken Baumann

      K-k-k-KILLER COMBO!

      I’d always play B.Orchid and just flac attack over and over (L button on the SNES) for a 21 hit combo. I think it was referred to as ‘cheesing.’

      I miss being 10.

  66. Ken Baumann

      K-k-k-KILLER COMBO!

      I’d always play B.Orchid and just flac attack over and over (L button on the SNES) for a 21 hit combo. I think it was referred to as ‘cheesing.’

      I miss being 10.

  67. Ken Baumann

      And thank you.

  68. Ken Baumann

      And thank you.

  69. Ken Baumann
  70. Ken Baumann

      I have faith in your ability.

  71. Ken Baumann
  72. Ken Baumann

      I have faith in your ability.

  73. sam pink

      i liked CHIEF THUNDER. 36 hits was my best. mahfackas don’t even have a name for shit like that.

  74. sam pink

      i liked CHIEF THUNDER. 36 hits was my best. mahfackas don’t even have a name for shit like that.

  75. michael j

      fucking bitch ass combos. they were cheesy ken. they were. guys like you made me so angry…. but you also made me wanna get better. at least you werent cinder and kept going that spin teleport thing.

      i was usually jager (is that right? whoever that ninja guy is who has a sword on his back). i’d do a flying round house, set your ass up for the type of combo where you nearly beat the game at the holiday inn in nebraska but then the computer realizes your awesomeness and cheats to high hell, so you end up almost crying in an arcade full of hot girls in bikinis….

      fucking killer instinct

  76. michael j

      fucking bitch ass combos. they were cheesy ken. they were. guys like you made me so angry…. but you also made me wanna get better. at least you werent cinder and kept going that spin teleport thing.

      i was usually jager (is that right? whoever that ninja guy is who has a sword on his back). i’d do a flying round house, set your ass up for the type of combo where you nearly beat the game at the holiday inn in nebraska but then the computer realizes your awesomeness and cheats to high hell, so you end up almost crying in an arcade full of hot girls in bikinis….

      fucking killer instinct

  77. michael j

      heh. cheesing.

      im smiling right now.

  78. michael j

      heh. cheesing.

      im smiling right now.

  79. Ken Baumann

      Michael: Jago. Glacius was good, too. The sliding uppercut thing was great.

      Chief & Orchid had the same cheese factor.

      I’m smiling too.

  80. Ken Baumann

      Michael: Jago. Glacius was good, too. The sliding uppercut thing was great.

      Chief & Orchid had the same cheese factor.

      I’m smiling too.

  81. Mike Meginnis

      Try playing it on the gameboy because that is the only system you have. It will feel ridiculousLY AWESOME.

  82. Mike Meginnis

      Try playing it on the gameboy because that is the only system you have. It will feel ridiculousLY AWESOME.

  83. PHM

      I think that if you feel that way then your writing and projects get an extra-special touch of goodness for as long as that feeling lasts. Sometimes you can get on a roll that will last for a whole year. I think it’s a good thing, really, as long as you don’t project it into your conversations with others because then you come off as an asshole and really if you’re sounding like you think you’re the shit then you are probably an asshole.

  84. PHM

      I think that if you feel that way then your writing and projects get an extra-special touch of goodness for as long as that feeling lasts. Sometimes you can get on a roll that will last for a whole year. I think it’s a good thing, really, as long as you don’t project it into your conversations with others because then you come off as an asshole and really if you’re sounding like you think you’re the shit then you are probably an asshole.

  85. Vaughan Simons

      If I am ever published anywhere in print, I plan to go to all the other 119 apartments in my block and inform my neighbours of the fact. Individually. At great length. I know they will be grateful. I will wear a t-shirt that says ‘I AM THE SHIT’ on the front. When I turn round and leave them drained, having told them in excessive detail about my publishing success, they will see that the back of the t-shirt is emblazoned with the similar but crucially different phrase ‘I HAVE THE SHITS’, thus communicating how intense my excitement really is. So intense that I’ll have lost control of my bowels.

  86. Vaughan Simons

      If I am ever published anywhere in print, I plan to go to all the other 119 apartments in my block and inform my neighbours of the fact. Individually. At great length. I know they will be grateful. I will wear a t-shirt that says ‘I AM THE SHIT’ on the front. When I turn round and leave them drained, having told them in excessive detail about my publishing success, they will see that the back of the t-shirt is emblazoned with the similar but crucially different phrase ‘I HAVE THE SHITS’, thus communicating how intense my excitement really is. So intense that I’ll have lost control of my bowels.

  87. David Erlewine

      i may have done a fist pump or two. in 02 when i was just starting to really write i got a couple of “good” pubs and was emailing my friends who sent back responses like “oh, cool.” now at least i have some writer friends who know the names of places and know if it’s actually cool or not.

      when i get a pub, often my first thought is to start w/drawing it from all the other places which means more time on the computer which pisses my wife off b/c we only have one and by the time i finish that i wonder if a place i just w/drew from was about to take it. and then i go into duotrope and post.

  88. David Erlewine

      i may have done a fist pump or two. in 02 when i was just starting to really write i got a couple of “good” pubs and was emailing my friends who sent back responses like “oh, cool.” now at least i have some writer friends who know the names of places and know if it’s actually cool or not.

      when i get a pub, often my first thought is to start w/drawing it from all the other places which means more time on the computer which pisses my wife off b/c we only have one and by the time i finish that i wonder if a place i just w/drew from was about to take it. and then i go into duotrope and post.

  89. David Erlewine

      yeah, the face thing is definitely a good image and very true.

  90. David Erlewine

      yeah, the face thing is definitely a good image and very true.

  91. conor oberst

      when i finished writing “lifted or the story is in the soil keep your ear to the ground” i thought ‘i am the shit’ but when i finished recording “cassadaga” i thought ‘i am shitty’

  92. conor oberst

      when i finished writing “lifted or the story is in the soil keep your ear to the ground” i thought ‘i am the shit’ but when i finished recording “cassadaga” i thought ‘i am shitty’

  93. mike young

      booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      country conor oberst 78x > whiny conor oberst

  94. mike young

      booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      country conor oberst 78x > whiny conor oberst

  95. jereme

      i do not get excited or feel good after doing much. there is no sense of accomplishment within my reality i guess now that I dwell on it.

      a long time ago i would feel “i am the shit” feelings in very rare circumstances.

      the circumstances consisted of some esoteric computer issue that is debilitating to the company network.

      i would spend hours and days researching until i resolved the problem. a sense of impending doom was a must for the feeling to occur. i needed massive pressure to feel “i am the shit” feelings.

      but that was when i was younger and still idealistic. now i devalue everything because if everything is set to a base value than there is no positive or negative.

      the negative emotions/experience always outnumber the positives so it is best to insulate yourself and not feel disappointment at all.

      it is hard to feel “i am the shit” when you know you aren’t in the grand scheme of time.

      “act like you’ve been there before” some one told me that once while celebrating after a poker win.

      he was right. once the winning of $$$ becomes casual and no longer achievement the need to celebrate is nul.

      life is like poker.

      this is hand #2334433455323456666666666666666348972495702485729057490578

      i don’t matter.

  96. jereme

      i do not get excited or feel good after doing much. there is no sense of accomplishment within my reality i guess now that I dwell on it.

      a long time ago i would feel “i am the shit” feelings in very rare circumstances.

      the circumstances consisted of some esoteric computer issue that is debilitating to the company network.

      i would spend hours and days researching until i resolved the problem. a sense of impending doom was a must for the feeling to occur. i needed massive pressure to feel “i am the shit” feelings.

      but that was when i was younger and still idealistic. now i devalue everything because if everything is set to a base value than there is no positive or negative.

      the negative emotions/experience always outnumber the positives so it is best to insulate yourself and not feel disappointment at all.

      it is hard to feel “i am the shit” when you know you aren’t in the grand scheme of time.

      “act like you’ve been there before” some one told me that once while celebrating after a poker win.

      he was right. once the winning of $$$ becomes casual and no longer achievement the need to celebrate is nul.

      life is like poker.

      this is hand #2334433455323456666666666666666348972495702485729057490578

      i don’t matter.

  97. davidpeak

      When I heard that my first book was going to be published I felt very scared. Later that day I went to one of those outdoor malls. It was in California and the sun was brutal. I smoked a cigarette and felt sick. Maybe because of the nicotine or the sun, or maybe because nothing had changed.

  98. davidpeak

      When I heard that my first book was going to be published I felt very scared. Later that day I went to one of those outdoor malls. It was in California and the sun was brutal. I smoked a cigarette and felt sick. Maybe because of the nicotine or the sun, or maybe because nothing had changed.

  99. davidpeak

      Sam Pink is the shit, though. And he should feel like it at least once a day.

  100. davidpeak

      Sam Pink is the shit, though. And he should feel like it at least once a day.

  101. Joseph Young

      I think, ‘I am the shit’ a lot. And I think, ‘my friends are the shit’ all the time. it’s good, i like it. it doesn’t mean i don’t sometimes think, i am shit. that’s not good.

  102. Joseph Young

      I think, ‘I am the shit’ a lot. And I think, ‘my friends are the shit’ all the time. it’s good, i like it. it doesn’t mean i don’t sometimes think, i am shit. that’s not good.

  103. sam pink

      sometimes i think “i am the shit” after something lame happens, like i am eating a sandwich and a piece of it falls into the cuff of my pants.

  104. sam pink

      sometimes i think “i am the shit” after something lame happens, like i am eating a sandwich and a piece of it falls into the cuff of my pants.

  105. jereme

      sometimes i think “i am the shit” when i am accredited for doing something profound and original while not being aware what I am doing is considered profound and original. i feel this way not because i am profound or original but because i know people are weak and silly and won’t do the research to realize i just ripped off an esoteric sam kinison joke from 1984 and put way too much importance on bullshit.

  106. jereme

      sometimes i think “i am the shit” when i am accredited for doing something profound and original while not being aware what I am doing is considered profound and original. i feel this way not because i am profound or original but because i know people are weak and silly and won’t do the research to realize i just ripped off an esoteric sam kinison joke from 1984 and put way too much importance on bullshit.

  107. matthewsavoca

      haha this is great

  108. matthewsavoca

      haha this is great

  109. David Erlewine

      Damn, that hits hard. Sometimes when I get sad about not having any published books, I picture that kind of thing happening to me (except for the cigarette).

      I am curious now when it was that someone thought to say “I am the shit” to be a good thing.

  110. David Erlewine

      Damn, that hits hard. Sometimes when I get sad about not having any published books, I picture that kind of thing happening to me (except for the cigarette).

      I am curious now when it was that someone thought to say “I am the shit” to be a good thing.

  111. Cyberninja

      whenever i fry a perfect batch of taters in the hot mcdonald’s grease, i feel les-than-retarded. when i drop erasers in there and serve them up battered to some tv-addicted fatty, then i feel like the shit.

      this is a great post sam. love the skin you’re in.

  112. Cyberninja

      whenever i fry a perfect batch of taters in the hot mcdonald’s grease, i feel les-than-retarded. when i drop erasers in there and serve them up battered to some tv-addicted fatty, then i feel like the shit.

      this is a great post sam. love the skin you’re in.

  113. davidpeak

      We understand each other.

  114. davidpeak

      We understand each other.