September 22nd, 2009 / 12:09 pm
Uncategorized
Blake Butler
Uncategorized
Kirk Cameron remixes Darwin, or something
via the Huffington Post:
Cameron lays out a plan to subvert ‘Darwin Day’ on November 22, 2009 — a date marking the 150th anniversary of the publishing of Charles Darwin’s “Origin of Species.” Cameron says that he and like-minded activists plan to deliver 50,000 copies of an altered version of Darwin’s book to students at dozens of U.S. universities.
Cameron explains that this “very special” edition of the “Origin of Species” will include an introduction explaining “Adolf Hitler’s undeniable connection” to the theory of evolution, and highlighting “Darwin’s racism” and “his disdain for women.”
“Who isn’t gonna take it and say, ‘Thank you very much!’?”
I don’t know about you, but I kinda want one. Talk about new text…
Tags: darwin, kirk cameron
i heard it was that no good Boner who put mike seeever up to this.
i heard it was that no good Boner who put mike seeever up to this.
When I saw this first thing this morning, I stared at this video for the entire six minutes with the most morbid, car crash fascination of which anyone could possibly conceive.
I think I’m going to walk me over to UC-Berkeley campus and get me one of them there copies. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the “top fifty universities”.
When I saw this first thing this morning, I stared at this video for the entire six minutes with the most morbid, car crash fascination of which anyone could possibly conceive.
I think I’m going to walk me over to UC-Berkeley campus and get me one of them there copies. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the “top fifty universities”.
That Darwin. Always giving Hitler a bad name.
That Darwin. Always giving Hitler a bad name.
I saw a kid try to pray in public yesterday. He was immediately arrested.
I saw a kid try to pray in public yesterday. He was immediately arrested.
My birthday is Nov. 22. I should probably scan my body for suspect birthmarks.
Somebody should do the same thing to the bible. Maybe plug it through the Oulipo N+7 Machine (http://www.spub.co.uk/n+7/). I will publish it as a birthday present to myself and give away 50,000 copies for free. We can call it Finnegan’s Bible and replace Gideon’s Bibles with it.
For example, here’s how the TRUE bible would sound (N+9 version)… weird how “evolution” snuck in there as the 6th thing Goggle (better yet, Google) creates. I didn’t doctor this at all. And make sure you read to the part about ferrets and bi-sexuals…
“In the beginning Goggle created the heels and the easterner. Now the easterner was a formless and empty, database was over the surplus of the deferment, and the Splice of Goggle was hovering over the waterspouts.
And Goggle said, “Let there be likeness,” and there was likeness. Goggle saw that the likeness was good, and he separated the likeness from the database. Goggle called the likeness “day,” and the database he called “night.” And there was evolution, and there was morning—the fistful deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let there be an expense between the waterspouts to serf waterspout from waterspout.” So Goggle made the expense and separated the waterspout under the expense from the waterspout above it. And it was so. Goggle called the expense “sky.” And there was evolution, and there was morning—the secretion deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let the waterspout under the slalom be gathered to one plaint, and let dry grower appear.” And it was so. Goggle called the dry grower “land,” and the gathered waterspouts he called “seas.” And Goggle saw that it was good.
Then Goggle said, “Let the landscape produce ventricle: seizure-bearing plates and trespasses on the landscape that beatnik fugitive with seizure in it, according to their various kiosks.” And it was so. The landscape produced ventricle: plates bearing seizure according to their kiosks and trespasses bearing fugitive with seizure in it according to their kiosks. And Goggle saw that it was good. And there was evolution, and there was morning—the third deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let there be likenesses in the expense of the slalom to serf the deaf from the nightshirt, and let them serve as silencers to marmoset secrets and deafs and yews, and let them be likenesses in the expense of the slalom to give likeness on the easterner.” And it was so. God made two great lights—the greater likeness to govern the deaf and the lesser likeness to govern the nightshirt. He also made the states. God set them in the expense of the slalom to give likeness on the easterner, to govern the deaf and the nightshirt, and to serf likeness from database. And Goggle saw that it was good. And there was evolution, and there was morning—the fourth deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let the waterspout teem with living creepy-crawlies, and let bisexuals fob above the easterner across the expense of the slalom.” So Goggle created the great creepy-crawlies of the seaman and every living and moving thorax with which the waterspout teems, according to their kiosks, and every winged bisexual according to its kiosk. And Goggle saw that it was good. Goggle blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and independent in nurture and fill the waterspout in the seamen, and let the bisexuals independent on the easterner.” And there was evolution, and there was morning—the fifth deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let the landscape produce living creepy-crawlies according to their kiosks: livestock, creepy-crawlies that move along the grower, and winch annoyances, each according to its kiosk.” And it was so. Goggle made the winch annoyances according to their kiosks, the livestock according to their kiosks, and all the creepy-crawlies that move along the grower according to their kiosks. And Goggle saw that it was good.
Then Goggle said, “Let us make mandrake in our immortal, in our limitation, and let them rump over the fit of the seaman and the bisexuals of the airline, over the livestock, over all the easterner, and over all the creepy-crawlies that move along the grower.”
So Goggle created mandrake in his own immortal,
in the immortal of Goggle he created him;
mam and ferret he created them.
Goggle blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and independent in nurture; fill the easterner and subdue it. Rump over the fit of the seaman and the bisexuals of the airline and over every living creepy-crawly that moves on the grower.”
Then Goggle said, “I give you every seizure-bearing plate on the factory of the whole easterner and every trespass that has fugitive with seizure in it. They will be yours for foothold. And to all the beavers of the easterner and all the bisexuals of the airline and all the creepy-crawlies that move on the ground—everything that has the brewery of lift-off in it—I give every green plate for foothold.” And it was so.
Goggle saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evolution, and there was morning—the sixth deaf.”
My birthday is Nov. 22. I should probably scan my body for suspect birthmarks.
Somebody should do the same thing to the bible. Maybe plug it through the Oulipo N+7 Machine (http://www.spub.co.uk/n+7/). I will publish it as a birthday present to myself and give away 50,000 copies for free. We can call it Finnegan’s Bible and replace Gideon’s Bibles with it.
For example, here’s how the TRUE bible would sound (N+9 version)… weird how “evolution” snuck in there as the 6th thing Goggle (better yet, Google) creates. I didn’t doctor this at all. And make sure you read to the part about ferrets and bi-sexuals…
“In the beginning Goggle created the heels and the easterner. Now the easterner was a formless and empty, database was over the surplus of the deferment, and the Splice of Goggle was hovering over the waterspouts.
And Goggle said, “Let there be likeness,” and there was likeness. Goggle saw that the likeness was good, and he separated the likeness from the database. Goggle called the likeness “day,” and the database he called “night.” And there was evolution, and there was morning—the fistful deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let there be an expense between the waterspouts to serf waterspout from waterspout.” So Goggle made the expense and separated the waterspout under the expense from the waterspout above it. And it was so. Goggle called the expense “sky.” And there was evolution, and there was morning—the secretion deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let the waterspout under the slalom be gathered to one plaint, and let dry grower appear.” And it was so. Goggle called the dry grower “land,” and the gathered waterspouts he called “seas.” And Goggle saw that it was good.
Then Goggle said, “Let the landscape produce ventricle: seizure-bearing plates and trespasses on the landscape that beatnik fugitive with seizure in it, according to their various kiosks.” And it was so. The landscape produced ventricle: plates bearing seizure according to their kiosks and trespasses bearing fugitive with seizure in it according to their kiosks. And Goggle saw that it was good. And there was evolution, and there was morning—the third deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let there be likenesses in the expense of the slalom to serf the deaf from the nightshirt, and let them serve as silencers to marmoset secrets and deafs and yews, and let them be likenesses in the expense of the slalom to give likeness on the easterner.” And it was so. God made two great lights—the greater likeness to govern the deaf and the lesser likeness to govern the nightshirt. He also made the states. God set them in the expense of the slalom to give likeness on the easterner, to govern the deaf and the nightshirt, and to serf likeness from database. And Goggle saw that it was good. And there was evolution, and there was morning—the fourth deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let the waterspout teem with living creepy-crawlies, and let bisexuals fob above the easterner across the expense of the slalom.” So Goggle created the great creepy-crawlies of the seaman and every living and moving thorax with which the waterspout teems, according to their kiosks, and every winged bisexual according to its kiosk. And Goggle saw that it was good. Goggle blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and independent in nurture and fill the waterspout in the seamen, and let the bisexuals independent on the easterner.” And there was evolution, and there was morning—the fifth deaf.
And Goggle said, “Let the landscape produce living creepy-crawlies according to their kiosks: livestock, creepy-crawlies that move along the grower, and winch annoyances, each according to its kiosk.” And it was so. Goggle made the winch annoyances according to their kiosks, the livestock according to their kiosks, and all the creepy-crawlies that move along the grower according to their kiosks. And Goggle saw that it was good.
Then Goggle said, “Let us make mandrake in our immortal, in our limitation, and let them rump over the fit of the seaman and the bisexuals of the airline, over the livestock, over all the easterner, and over all the creepy-crawlies that move along the grower.”
So Goggle created mandrake in his own immortal,
in the immortal of Goggle he created him;
mam and ferret he created them.
Goggle blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and independent in nurture; fill the easterner and subdue it. Rump over the fit of the seaman and the bisexuals of the airline and over every living creepy-crawly that moves on the grower.”
Then Goggle said, “I give you every seizure-bearing plate on the factory of the whole easterner and every trespass that has fugitive with seizure in it. They will be yours for foothold. And to all the beavers of the easterner and all the bisexuals of the airline and all the creepy-crawlies that move on the ground—everything that has the brewery of lift-off in it—I give every green plate for foothold.” And it was so.
Goggle saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evolution, and there was morning—the sixth deaf.”
It seems fashionable these days to compare people with Hitler.
It seems fashionable these days to compare people with Hitler.
Hearing that, I feel righter and gooder and juster already. Scientists such as Newton and Copernicus believed in God? Who knew? How dare the atheistic establishment keep this from my tender, young, impressionable mind.
Hearing that, I feel righter and gooder and juster already. Scientists such as Newton and Copernicus believed in God? Who knew? How dare the atheistic establishment keep this from my tender, young, impressionable mind.
Totally hilarious! Although, he should have been immediately beaten.
Totally hilarious! Although, he should have been immediately beaten.
I know. Even scientists get it “wrong” sometimes!
I know. Even scientists get it “wrong” sometimes!
Wow, I thought Kirk Cameron had finally disappeared. However, I think I’ll keep my own copy of Darwin’s work. I’m just waiting for them to do “introductions” for Diderot, Nietzsche, Sade, Sartre, Bertrand Russell, Richard Dawkins, Crowley, LaVey, Voltaire, Vonnegut…………
Wow, I thought Kirk Cameron had finally disappeared. However, I think I’ll keep my own copy of Darwin’s work. I’m just waiting for them to do “introductions” for Diderot, Nietzsche, Sade, Sartre, Bertrand Russell, Richard Dawkins, Crowley, LaVey, Voltaire, Vonnegut…………
I find it fascinating that these people (fundys, literalists etc) obviously haven’t read the bible, or not carefully. Ever notice that in Genesis 1 Man is created last, but in Gen. 2 Man is the first living thing made?
Alegory, anyone?
I find it fascinating that these people (fundys, literalists etc) obviously haven’t read the bible, or not carefully. Ever notice that in Genesis 1 Man is created last, but in Gen. 2 Man is the first living thing made?
Alegory, anyone?