November 4th, 2010 / 7:24 pm
 Random

Marcotte on West

Here is my working theory of Kanye West: Many years ago, he won the love of some ancient god that no one believes in anymore. When he rejected the affections of this god, he was cursed. Though he would continue to find fame and fortune, he would also be unable to resist a very specific situation. Whenever people gathered together and there was some elephant in the room composed of bullshit that everyone was dutifully ignoring, West would be compelled to open his mouth and say something, and in a style that implies he was the only one who didn’t realize that it wasn’t socially acceptable to speak truth right at this moment. And despite his truth-saying abilities, he would be shunned. Whatever he said would be blown way out of proportion, as if it was the most hurtful thing ever. He would be forced to retreat to Twitter and wonder aloud why he’s cursed in just this way.

“Kanye West is the Cassandra of our Troy” by Amanda Marcotte

7 Comments

  1. November 4th, 2010 / 11:39 pm Tadd Adcox—

      Fuck damn this is completely accurate.

  2. November 4th, 2010 / 11:46 pm Kyle Minor—

      I really liked this, Chris.

  3. November 5th, 2010 / 12:02 am Salvatore Pane—

      I’m not ashamed to admit I have this picture taped up in my office.

  4. November 5th, 2010 / 12:14 am Tadd Adcox—

      Nor should you be.

  5. November 5th, 2010 / 1:47 am reynard seifert—

      i wanna know what cornel thinks of this, i think i’ll ask jimmy

  6. November 5th, 2010 / 3:21 am Tim Jones-Yelvington—

      Had to do a double take just now when this came up in google reader — never thought I’d see Pandagon linked on the giant, although this totally makes sense here.

  7. November 5th, 2010 / 3:14 pm Alex V. Cook—

      What if: post 808 & Heartbreak Kanye West is General Zod from Superman II and Superman is the fresh-faced and righteous Kanye from The College Dropout (analogous to Superman: The Movie – great title sequence, general public acceptance of some rather questionable superporwers). The two are from the same Krypton (the lost world that is the real Kanye West), and the transmutation form one to the other takes place in the Fortress of Solitude (the studio and/or Kanye’s grip on/immunity from public opinion) during their inevitable clash, but the latter Kanye (Zod) is ultimately banished to the Phantom Zone (Twitter) to rage forever in spinning theoretical reflection of the threat he once was, leaving the future uncertain for the original beloved hero.