November 17th, 2008 / 9:51 pm
Random

mean monday: to the guy who works at Subway by my apartment who is kind of an asshole

i apologize in advance for what mean monday has done to me.  but this is to the guy who is kind of an asshole who works at Subway, by my apartment:

Why are you so fucking mean to me all the time, man?  I mean not all the time, because I don’t eat there that much–but what’s up man?   I’m sorry sometimes i can’t hear you, but you don’t have to yell, “Vutt kind bread?” over and over; it hurts my feelings.  When you yell at me like that, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel awful.  It makes me want to say, “More like, what un-kind bread” and then walk away crying.  Look, I know everything sucks, and that it’s also shitty when someone asks you to repeat something, but if we just be nice to each other, well, darnit, then whenever we are together we will be happy.  So I’m asking you, guy who works at Subway by my place: To stop hurting my feelings and start being my friend, you rascal.

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18 Comments

  1. Ken Baumann

      sam, you’re the hooker with a heart of gold

  2. Ken Baumann

      sam, you’re the hooker with a heart of gold

  3. xtx

      where i live, we only have nice subway workers. but there are a lot of fuckheads who work at starbucks.

      i owe you a blurb sam. and i will blurb. thank you.

  4. xtx

      where i live, we only have nice subway workers. but there are a lot of fuckheads who work at starbucks.

      i owe you a blurb sam. and i will blurb. thank you.

  5. Brad D. Green

      Try the Garlic bread at Subway. It rocks. Ok. Nevermind. Let’s not be prejudiced. All the bread is bitchin.

  6. Brad D. Green

      Try the Garlic bread at Subway. It rocks. Ok. Nevermind. Let’s not be prejudiced. All the bread is bitchin.

  7. jereme

      sucks to live in illinois.

      all the ‘sandwhich artists’ here are cute 16-18 year old hispanic girls. They blush and giggle when flirted with.

      the starbucks girls are cunts though. fuck them.

  8. jereme

      sucks to live in illinois.

      all the ‘sandwhich artists’ here are cute 16-18 year old hispanic girls. They blush and giggle when flirted with.

      the starbucks girls are cunts though. fuck them.

  9. kathryn regina

      “what un-kind bread”

  10. kathryn regina

      “what un-kind bread”

  11. pr

      Maybe you could win him over to kindness by asking him things like “where are you from?” and “how long have you lived here?” And then be interested in him. He sounds eastern european to me.

      I wish you two happier times.

  12. pr

      Maybe you could win him over to kindness by asking him things like “where are you from?” and “how long have you lived here?” And then be interested in him. He sounds eastern european to me.

      I wish you two happier times.

  13. sam pink

      we have since split a bag of “garden salsa” sun chips and resolved our differences.

  14. sam pink

      we have since split a bag of “garden salsa” sun chips and resolved our differences.

  15. dan

      the subway near where i live has a gay high-schooler who hits on me working there.

  16. dan

      the subway near where i live has a gay high-schooler who hits on me working there.

  17. sam pink

      gay high schooler

  18. sam pink

      gay high schooler