In Cambridge, Massachusetts they’re printing yoga poses on their parking tickets to remind that double-parked undergrad what she learned at Equinox last weekend and to baffle/enrage the guy who just drove daddy’s beemer into a speed trap. I guess the police are getting sensitive about their image because someone started a yelp page reviewing the Cambridge Police Department and it only got four stars from the guy who went there this summer to register his handgun, because, you know, yoga only gets you so far. But they’re going to earn that fifth star, goddamn it.
PR is important, we know. A roommate told me last night that the Washington State Department of Tourism motto used to be “Whaaa?” and even though he thought that was ridiculous, I thought that was appropriate. It says: “Washington– Pot smoking is totally OK here.” But Washington changed their motto, it seems, or maybe it never was what he remembers (was he stoned last night?) In any case, they now entice travelers with, “washington–the state,” and that makes me wonder… does Washington seem a little depressed to you lately? It’s a good thing they’re also banking on the fact that people care way too much about Twilight; you can print out a list of all the places where you won’t see any vampires, but where you might see them if we lived in an alternate reality. “Washington– Another State Where Vampires Are Not.”
I am not the best at public relations, but I am starting to think that it might be a good idea if I had a PR department come up with a motto for me for the benefit of my loved ones. A few days ago I made the mistake of sitting down to work before getting coffee and toast from the kitchen. I was two hours into a revision before I realized I needed sustenance and caffeine in a bad way, but by then I knew some roommates would be awake and chatty in the kitchen. I decided to risk it. I tried to lunge in without breaking my concentration by talking to someone because that is the kind of nutcase I become when I’m in the middle of work. Are all writers like this? Maybe htmlgiant should sell t-shirts that say, “Working– That Means I Am Temporarily Insane And Can’t Talk To You.”
I usually don’t let people see me when I’m like this because I’m brash and impolite so I can keep my barrier up, stay fully inside my head. This worked fine when I lived with another writer who operated the same way. But now that I live with people who are comparatively consistent and don’t depend on a daily ritual of passing insanity, I have to be a nicer person. So I am thinking I need a motto or a PR department to clean up the mess when I manage my time poorly and have to see someone at a less than pretty moment. Or maybe my roommates should start giving me tickets with yoga poses on them.