February 24th, 2010 / 2:27 pm
Random
Alexis Orgera
Random
Stage Fright
Here’s a serious question. I’m 32. I’ve been reading here and there for a few years now. When I was young I had bad, migraine-inducing stage fright. But recently I’ve been fine. I’ve read in front of hundreds of folks without an iota of sweaty palmage or trilling voice. Then, today, I read in front of 10, maybe 15, people, and I was quaking in my boots. You could freaking see me shaking. AND, I wasn’t even reading my own poetry, rather some of my favorite poems by Yusef Komunyakaa.
So, what gives?
I wasn’t intellectually nervous, but my body at that moment said, fuck you. Why? Do any of you have stage fright moments or tips to share?
Tags: stage fright, Yusef Komunyakaa
I am pretty crippled by stage fright. I even get nervous before I teach; for years, I would just throw up before class. I’m already mentally preparing now for AWP and considering all pharmaceutical options. I have no advice but am certainly looking for some because a fear of public speaking is no damn joke.
I am pretty crippled by stage fright. I even get nervous before I teach; for years, I would just throw up before class. I’m already mentally preparing now for AWP and considering all pharmaceutical options. I have no advice but am certainly looking for some because a fear of public speaking is no damn joke.
I find that I’m much more nervous presenting other people’s work than I am my own. I’m also more nervous working as part of a presenting group than doing an individual reading, speech, or performance. Perhaps it’s something about not wanting to do harm to somebody else’s work or make them seem foolish. Perhaps it’s the confidence of knowing the work much better when it’s something you’ve already done your obsessing over.
I find that I’m much more nervous presenting other people’s work than I am my own. I’m also more nervous working as part of a presenting group than doing an individual reading, speech, or performance. Perhaps it’s something about not wanting to do harm to somebody else’s work or make them seem foolish. Perhaps it’s the confidence of knowing the work much better when it’s something you’ve already done your obsessing over.
I also swing between complete confidence and the occasional and total nervous collapse. Probably has something to do with some deeply subconscious thing you have no control over whatsoever.
Ever take a betablocker?
I also swing between complete confidence and the occasional and total nervous collapse. Probably has something to do with some deeply subconscious thing you have no control over whatsoever.
Ever take a betablocker?
“i wasn’t intellectually nervous” sounds like wishful thinking
the mind specializes in lies, especially about itself, and double especially about its own vulnerability, to its owner
when the body and mind say two different things, believe the body
the body can lie too, sure. but the mind ALWAYS lies
i tend to get nervous whenever i’m afraid i’m not going to come off as intelligent or generous or kind or humorous or profound or strong as i want to come off, so i get nervous @ every performance
it’s good to get nervous, it means your invested, the more nervous we are, the more of our identity is at stake in what we do
“i wasn’t intellectually nervous” sounds like wishful thinking
the mind specializes in lies, especially about itself, and double especially about its own vulnerability, to its owner
when the body and mind say two different things, believe the body
the body can lie too, sure. but the mind ALWAYS lies
i tend to get nervous whenever i’m afraid i’m not going to come off as intelligent or generous or kind or humorous or profound or strong as i want to come off, so i get nervous @ every performance
it’s good to get nervous, it means your invested, the more nervous we are, the more of our identity is at stake in what we do
Klonopin or xanax. Either will vanquish all anxiety.
Klonopin or xanax. Either will vanquish all anxiety.
alcohol.
alcohol.
seconded.
seconded.
I think it helps to confront it, which you are obviously doing through writing a post like this. For me, I also have had trouble giving speeches; in my case it was because I was nervous about appearing nervous. Realizing the root of my nerves instead of battling the symptoms has really helped. Also, training your mind to not build up these events and not take them seriously, while hard to do, also seems to help.
I think it helps to confront it, which you are obviously doing through writing a post like this. For me, I also have had trouble giving speeches; in my case it was because I was nervous about appearing nervous. Realizing the root of my nerves instead of battling the symptoms has really helped. Also, training your mind to not build up these events and not take them seriously, while hard to do, also seems to help.
i get really nverous before standing in front of aanythign invovling groups of people. all except teaching. i get nervous the first day, but after that, it doesnt bother me.
i get really nverous before standing in front of aanythign invovling groups of people. all except teaching. i get nervous the first day, but after that, it doesnt bother me.
Do you get nervous typing in front of people?
Do you get nervous typing in front of people?
“good to get nervous” — makes sense.
i’m nervous until i’m actually up there. then i usually enjoy the show-offiness.
“good to get nervous” — makes sense.
i’m nervous until i’m actually up there. then i usually enjoy the show-offiness.
I don’t get Komunyakaa.
I don’t get Komunyakaa.
Try Dien Cai Dau.
Try Dien Cai Dau.
I have a reading on Sunday night. I am pretending not to be nervous. Like Updike, I don’t speak particularly well and sometimes block on words at bizarre times. The words can be my name, a date, a credit card number, my daughter’s name, you know minor things like that where no one gets uncomfortable or laughs or rolls their eyes like I’m retarded. I mask my problem fairly well, usually, by switching words around to avoid “problem” words.
I haven’t done a reading since 1993, which was in college. I was hammered. I still freaked out, walking to the stage.
To paraphrase CS&N, I’ve always envied all the speakers who have all the nerve. I am going to give Sunday night a try, just like I devoted 2002 to writing a novel. If it doesn’t work out, at least I gave it a go (shout out to David Brent). At least no one there will “know” my stories well enough to recognize when I’m changing a word around, or two, or 10.
I think Sunday night I will have a drink or two before hand. I wish I hadn’t checked HTMLGIANT today.
I have a reading on Sunday night. I am pretending not to be nervous. Like Updike, I don’t speak particularly well and sometimes block on words at bizarre times. The words can be my name, a date, a credit card number, my daughter’s name, you know minor things like that where no one gets uncomfortable or laughs or rolls their eyes like I’m retarded. I mask my problem fairly well, usually, by switching words around to avoid “problem” words.
I haven’t done a reading since 1993, which was in college. I was hammered. I still freaked out, walking to the stage.
To paraphrase CS&N, I’ve always envied all the speakers who have all the nerve. I am going to give Sunday night a try, just like I devoted 2002 to writing a novel. If it doesn’t work out, at least I gave it a go (shout out to David Brent). At least no one there will “know” my stories well enough to recognize when I’m changing a word around, or two, or 10.
I think Sunday night I will have a drink or two before hand. I wish I hadn’t checked HTMLGIANT today.
I should not have used the term “retarded.” I was called that a lot as a kid so I tend to use “ironically.” Let’s just say people look at me funny. Because I can switch words around well enough, this happens nowhere near as often as I intimate it does.
I should not have used the term “retarded.” I was called that a lot as a kid so I tend to use “ironically.” Let’s just say people look at me funny. Because I can switch words around well enough, this happens nowhere near as often as I intimate it does.
ex-teacher of mine recommended a shot just before you read. seemed like good advice. just enough fast enough to help calm but not enough to cause slurring.
ex-teacher of mine recommended a shot just before you read. seemed like good advice. just enough fast enough to help calm but not enough to cause slurring.
Ditto, Ryan. I was quivering the first time i stood in front of a classroom. I find that it gets easier once you realize how hyper-aware students are of your authority. With great power comes great serenity.
Since I have absolutely no confidence in myself (as either a writer or a member of society) I dread readings. The last two times I’ve done them, I decided to stick with shorter pieces (less then 1,000). It seems to help both me and my audience follow the narrative, and it keeps my head from exploding on the podium. The more aware I am of what I’m saying, the less nervous I get.
Ditto, Ryan. I was quivering the first time i stood in front of a classroom. I find that it gets easier once you realize how hyper-aware students are of your authority. With great power comes great serenity.
Since I have absolutely no confidence in myself (as either a writer or a member of society) I dread readings. The last two times I’ve done them, I decided to stick with shorter pieces (less then 1,000). It seems to help both me and my audience follow the narrative, and it keeps my head from exploding on the podium. The more aware I am of what I’m saying, the less nervous I get.
DE–you’ll do great because you grin when you say Very Awful Things.
DE–you’ll do great because you grin when you say Very Awful Things.
some kind of speed and three tallboys
I had the shaking thing happen at the reading I did last week–outta nowhere too, but apparently no one noticed. Or else they’re lying. I’m okay with it either way.
some kind of speed and three tallboys
I had the shaking thing happen at the reading I did last week–outta nowhere too, but apparently no one noticed. Or else they’re lying. I’m okay with it either way.
i always used to drink a forty in a short period of time just before leaving for the reading. if the reading’s at a bar, i just show up early.
i always used to drink a forty in a short period of time just before leaving for the reading. if the reading’s at a bar, i just show up early.
the best readers are existentially nervous, like an infinite wind of nervousness is behind them, blowing at all times, their bodies like the vessel, of which each deliberate syllable is a sail
the best readers are existentially nervous, like an infinite wind of nervousness is behind them, blowing at all times, their bodies like the vessel, of which each deliberate syllable is a sail
It usually helps me if I remind myself to go slow. Nervously fast readers can make the audience nervous, which makes the reader more nervous, etc., yikes.
And what helps even more is if I remind myself that most audiences want (and expect ) to laugh a bit during the little writerly chatting that goes on before you read a piece or (in the case of poems or a bunch of short shorts) between pieces. If I act slightly goofy and get a laugh before I read, 60% of the nerves go away– that includes the shaking, if there happens to be any. Then I’m ready to rock, and can enjoy the hell out of it if it goes well.
I think of the “acting goofy” as a warm-up. (For me and for the audience.)
It usually helps me if I remind myself to go slow. Nervously fast readers can make the audience nervous, which makes the reader more nervous, etc., yikes.
And what helps even more is if I remind myself that most audiences want (and expect ) to laugh a bit during the little writerly chatting that goes on before you read a piece or (in the case of poems or a bunch of short shorts) between pieces. If I act slightly goofy and get a laugh before I read, 60% of the nerves go away– that includes the shaking, if there happens to be any. Then I’m ready to rock, and can enjoy the hell out of it if it goes well.
I think of the “acting goofy” as a warm-up. (For me and for the audience.)
Oh man, a good friend of mine did the betablockers once. She experienced absolutely zero stage fright, which was kind of a miracle because she’d get it real bad. And she also looked like she’d just returned, extremely stoned, from a five hour massage in a sauna.
Oh man, a good friend of mine did the betablockers once. She experienced absolutely zero stage fright, which was kind of a miracle because she’d get it real bad. And she also looked like she’d just returned, extremely stoned, from a five hour massage in a sauna.
It may be placebo effect (not that it matters), but St John Wort helped me once with this.
It may be placebo effect (not that it matters), but St John Wort helped me once with this.
Thirded
Thirded
ha ha, thanks LES
everyone should check out the list on your blog. cracked me up.
ha ha, thanks LES
everyone should check out the list on your blog. cracked me up.
great stuff, joseph, very well said and helpful
great stuff, joseph, very well said and helpful
Did the Komunyakaa poems make you think you were back in the Nam?
Did the Komunyakaa poems make you think you were back in the Nam?
Thank you all for commenting while I was recovering in a cave somewhere. So, drugs and alcohol. Talk myself down. Be funny. Don’t take myself seriously. Remember my brain is always going to lie (that’s a good one for which I am discovering many applications already).
As for the Komunyakaa–he holds a special place in my heart as the first poet I read when I was a wee youngster who married rhythm and music with meaning. I felt like I could sing his poems. Maybe, like David said above, presenting the work of someone who shaped my ideas about poetry at an early age was more emotionally taxing that I thought it would be.
Anyhoo–gracias to all.
Thank you all for commenting while I was recovering in a cave somewhere. So, drugs and alcohol. Talk myself down. Be funny. Don’t take myself seriously. Remember my brain is always going to lie (that’s a good one for which I am discovering many applications already).
As for the Komunyakaa–he holds a special place in my heart as the first poet I read when I was a wee youngster who married rhythm and music with meaning. I felt like I could sing his poems. Maybe, like David said above, presenting the work of someone who shaped my ideas about poetry at an early age was more emotionally taxing that I thought it would be.
Anyhoo–gracias to all.
ha!
ha!
Take a Dale Carnegie course. Or the drinking thing. Or both.
Take a Dale Carnegie course. Or the drinking thing. Or both.