March 30th, 2010 / 10:10 am
Roundup

While You (read=we) Were Out: A Backlog

Apparently, Saudi Arabia has an American Idol-style poetry contest show. (!!!!.) In this clip at Jezebel, which aired on state-run TV, a competitor named Hissa Hilal recited a 15-verse poem criticizing–among other things–clerics who issue fatwas, and suicide bombers. The clip, though untranslated and unsubtitled, is worth watching. The audience applauds occasionally, and she goes on to win the round. And now she’s getting death threats, but I guess that’s just to be expected. The Abu Dhabi National has a decent-size article on her. In English, duh.

The Rumpus has a long piece on Darius Rucker’s weird second career as a country singer. Also, Funny Women #20: Holiday with Communists. Also^2, The Rumpus will be at the Highline Ballroom in NYC on 4/6, featuring Sam Lipsyte, Colson Whitehead, Michael Showalter, Alina Simone, & more. You’ll be hearing from us about this again, but consider this the early warning system.

William Deresiewicz at The American Scholar, shares his thoughts on “Solitude and Leadership.” The essay was first presented as a lecture at West Point. Cool, I guess. (via NY’ker Book Bench blog.)

Vanity Fair presents something they call The Bookopticon, a kind of half-brilliant half-idiotic look at “the incestuous web of the publishing world.” The “interactive field guide illustrates how 10 young authors with potential best-sellers coming out this spring and summer fit into the firmament.” The first thing the chart reveals, before you even start clicking around, is a rather generous conception of the word “young”, which I think here means “under 40.” Now, I’m sure I’ll appreciate that generosity in 10 years’ time, but right now I’m going to go call BS (except on Simon Rich and Nick McDonell, who are both 26) because even the NBCC and Granta manage to cut their “young whippersnapper” lists off at 35 (though sometimes Granta cheats–but they also don’t know what the word “novelist” means; so let’s just figure they’re doing the best they can). ANYway. The chart is worth checking out and clicking around on, though a few key pieces of information are missing. For example, it’d be interesting to know how many of these people have the same agent, or who their agents are. Second, Vanity Fair fails to state the obvious, which is to identify themselves as participant observers, whose creation and presentation of the chart will almost certainly affect the thing they’re measuring/predicting (and hey- good for these guys!). There ought to be a VF node on the chart itself, to which all ten writers are connected. For those of you playing along at home, here’s how to figure out where you fit in: Start by ignoring everything but the Big 10 Names. Give yourself two points for each person you know personally. Give yourself one point for each person who is known personally by one or more people that you know, and with whom you could reasonably expect to be put in touch by the end of the business day (assuming of course you had some business to conduct, which you probably don’t–but if you did). Give yourself half a point for each person you do not know and could not reasonably be put in touch with today, but whose name rings a bell to you. Deduct a point for each person you have never even heard of. Also, if any person who got you two points is linked to Norman Podhoretz, you lose ten points. Now spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what those points translate into. I bet you can’t. (Also, I scored a 4 1/2.)

And finally, one more piece of useful advice from our friends in Dentonville, this thorough and practical post from Lux Alptraum at the very NSFW Fleshbot explains “How to be a dirty perv in the digital age (and not get caught).” The first answer, obviously, is dress like the Saudi poet whenever you’re going on Chatroulette, but the other stuff might be good to know, too.

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16 Comments

  1. zusya

      A housewife who was the subject of death threats after reciting a poem on the Million’s Poet television show that attacked “ad hoc fatwas” performed a similar poem this week – and reached the final.

      awesome band name alert: Ad Hoc Fatwas

  2. zusya

      A housewife who was the subject of death threats after reciting a poem on the Million’s Poet television show that attacked “ad hoc fatwas” performed a similar poem this week – and reached the final.

      awesome band name alert: Ad Hoc Fatwas

  3. anon

      -10

  4. anon

      -10

  5. anon

      is that the lowest score? i got the lowest score.

  6. anon

      is that the lowest score? i got the lowest score.

  7. Justin Taylor

      If it’s golf rules, you win. I guess the highest possible score would be 19, because if you personally knew all 10 people, earning you a theoretical 20 points, you would necessarily have to take the Podhoretz deduction, which would set you back to ten. It’s sort of like getting sent back to the peppermint forest when you’re just a few squares shy of the ice cream castle. Interestingly, the Podhoretz rule is also the key to achieving the absolute lowest score. In this version of the game, which we’ll call “Outsider Cred Rules,” you do very well by not knowing anybody. BUT. If you manage to not know anybody EXCEPT the Podhoretz-connection, whom you know personally, then your score would be a -7 (ie -9 + 2) but then you lose the 10, and wind up winning with a stunning -17. The trick to “Outsider Cred Rules” is to personally befriend the one guy WITHOUT thereby coming into contact with any of the other people, which is probably almost impossible. Except maybe if you’re, like, his second cousin, or fucked him once at summer camp and he still acts weirdly tender/solicitous to you so even though you’ve since moved to Wisconsin and gotten married, you and him still keep up on facebook and you’re sure that if you posted a picture of your daughter right now he’d respond with a click of the “like” button within ten minutes. I hope this has clarified the rules.

  8. Justin Taylor

      If it’s golf rules, you win. I guess the highest possible score would be 19, because if you personally knew all 10 people, earning you a theoretical 20 points, you would necessarily have to take the Podhoretz deduction, which would set you back to ten. It’s sort of like getting sent back to the peppermint forest when you’re just a few squares shy of the ice cream castle. Interestingly, the Podhoretz rule is also the key to achieving the absolute lowest score. In this version of the game, which we’ll call “Outsider Cred Rules,” you do very well by not knowing anybody. BUT. If you manage to not know anybody EXCEPT the Podhoretz-connection, whom you know personally, then your score would be a -7 (ie -9 + 2) but then you lose the 10, and wind up winning with a stunning -17. The trick to “Outsider Cred Rules” is to personally befriend the one guy WITHOUT thereby coming into contact with any of the other people, which is probably almost impossible. Except maybe if you’re, like, his second cousin, or fucked him once at summer camp and he still acts weirdly tender/solicitous to you so even though you’ve since moved to Wisconsin and gotten married, you and him still keep up on facebook and you’re sure that if you posted a picture of your daughter right now he’d respond with a click of the “like” button within ten minutes. I hope this has clarified the rules.

  9. Christian

      I’m rooting for that guy, Goodwillie. Because I mean, come on. Goodwillie.

  10. Christian

      I’m rooting for that guy, Goodwillie. Because I mean, come on. Goodwillie.

  11. James

      3.

  12. James

      3.

  13. claire

      YOU FIGURED IT OUT! this is exactly how the scoring works, but add 2 if you ever worked with brando skyhorse, and subtract another 5 if you never read “frank sinatra has a cold.” seriously, this is the best thing ive seen written about it. am a huge htmlgiant fan btw.

  14. claire

      YOU FIGURED IT OUT! this is exactly how the scoring works, but add 2 if you ever worked with brando skyhorse, and subtract another 5 if you never read “frank sinatra has a cold.” seriously, this is the best thing ive seen written about it. am a huge htmlgiant fan btw.

  15. steven

      The American-Idol style nabati poetry show is in Abu Dhabi, not Saudi Arabia…

  16. steven

      The American-Idol style nabati poetry show is in Abu Dhabi, not Saudi Arabia…