November 23rd, 2009 / 12:43 pm
Snippets

Lee Klein’s Eyeshot’s REJECTION LETTERS FROM THE EYESHOT OUTBOX v.9, which for me have always been an instructive and hilarious example of internet tone, and ‘real talk.’ Hopefully it is not truly the last.

“1. There’s a reason that Eyeshot’s sub guidelines say no “write” or “writer” e-mail addresses unless you’re very young. It suggests an aesthetic, a “writer” type who owns a Moleskine journal, whose work mostly disrespects the maturity, patience, and literary knowledge/expectations of readers, and who refers to journals and sites as “markets.” These writers live for those glorious days when Duotrope posts “congratulations, writer name!” next to the silly name of some obscure lit site that’ll be abandoned by 2010. 2012 the latest. “

62 Comments

  1. michael james

      hey…. my sister bought me my first moleskine for christmas when I was 16. Had never heard of it before. And I’ve kept buying them since. So… you know, what the fuck?

  2. michael james

      hey…. my sister bought me my first moleskine for christmas when I was 16. Had never heard of it before. And I’ve kept buying them since. So… you know, what the fuck?

  3. Mather Schneider

      I don’t even know what a moleskin is…skin of a mole? How many moles do you need to make a bag?

  4. Mather Schneider

      I don’t even know what a moleskin is…skin of a mole? How many moles do you need to make a bag?

  5. Mather Schneider

      or a journal?

  6. Mather Schneider

      or a journal?

  7. james yeh

      hmm. i used to feel lee’s responses ranged from indulgent to rude, to unhelpful, to totally out of line.

      apparently, i used to be idiot.

      because these are fucking golden.

      these should be some kind of standard, or at least ideal. not necessarily the execution — which, in lee’s case, i enjoy; however, not everyone writes like this and/or thinks like this — but certainly the verve.

  8. james yeh

      *used to be AN idiot

  9. james yeh

      hmm. i used to feel lee’s responses ranged from indulgent to rude, to unhelpful, to totally out of line.

      apparently, i used to be idiot.

      because these are fucking golden.

      these should be some kind of standard, or at least ideal. not necessarily the execution — which, in lee’s case, i enjoy; however, not everyone writes like this and/or thinks like this — but certainly the verve.

  10. james yeh

      *used to be AN idiot

  11. +O0o(o)o0O+

      whatever, blake

  12. +O0o(o)o0O+

      whatever, blake

  13. Richard Thomas

      I really enjoyed these actually – funny most of the times, a bit cruel now and then, but generally smart and on the money. Can’t believe he called out Erlewine though, harsh.

  14. Richard Thomas

      I really enjoyed these actually – funny most of the times, a bit cruel now and then, but generally smart and on the money. Can’t believe he called out Erlewine though, harsh.

  15. Mather Schneider

      “…silly name of some obscure lit site that’ll be abandoned by 2010. 2012 the latest.” Isn’t Eyeshot defunct?

  16. Mather Schneider

      “…silly name of some obscure lit site that’ll be abandoned by 2010. 2012 the latest.” Isn’t Eyeshot defunct?

  17. davidpeak
  18. davidpeak
  19. Mather Schneider

      Well, I was at this site and then I thought I read somewhere that they were done…sorry…

  20. Mather Schneider

      Well, I was at this site and then I thought I read somewhere that they were done…sorry…

  21. david erlewine

      I started skimming about halfway through because it didn’t engage me at all. The only vaguely interesting image involves the simile about the cat’s tail, which seems sort of self-consciously like a nice simile and doesn’t really do much else. I don’t think the use of the second person is really necessary here: I think it works best when “you” are in a situation you don’t really have access to (like Roderic Crooks’ story on Eyeshot) or to distance the narrator from serious trauma. Anyway – thanks again for sending for the second time after saying you’d never send again. And I look forward to seeing your “Congratulations, David Erlewine” on Duotrope, even if doubt it’ll ever appear next to the word “Eyeshot.” I remain, however, dumbly amazed at your persistence. Maybe if you worked twice as hard and produced 80 times fewer stories than you do, you’d have a shot at Eyeshot one day.

      Ha ha, nice reminder

  22. david erlewine

      I started skimming about halfway through because it didn’t engage me at all. The only vaguely interesting image involves the simile about the cat’s tail, which seems sort of self-consciously like a nice simile and doesn’t really do much else. I don’t think the use of the second person is really necessary here: I think it works best when “you” are in a situation you don’t really have access to (like Roderic Crooks’ story on Eyeshot) or to distance the narrator from serious trauma. Anyway – thanks again for sending for the second time after saying you’d never send again. And I look forward to seeing your “Congratulations, David Erlewine” on Duotrope, even if doubt it’ll ever appear next to the word “Eyeshot.” I remain, however, dumbly amazed at your persistence. Maybe if you worked twice as hard and produced 80 times fewer stories than you do, you’d have a shot at Eyeshot one day.

      Ha ha, nice reminder

  23. Blake Butler

      i mean really

  24. Blake Butler

      i mean really

  25. david erlewine

      i am the prince of making absurd statements about never writing/subbing again.

      and the roderic crooks story remains one of my eyeshot faves

  26. david erlewine

      i am the prince of making absurd statements about never writing/subbing again.

      and the roderic crooks story remains one of my eyeshot faves

  27. Mather Schneider

      He’s “dumbly amazed at your persistence” because you submitted…twice?

  28. Mather Schneider

      He’s “dumbly amazed at your persistence” because you submitted…twice?

  29. david erlewine

      ha ha, add about another 23 or so subs, man, but thanks for having my back

      my rejections litter this volume

      imagine if i hadn’t taken off five years from writing

  30. david erlewine

      ha ha, add about another 23 or so subs, man, but thanks for having my back

      my rejections litter this volume

      imagine if i hadn’t taken off five years from writing

  31. Mather Schneider

      Oh, he says “thanks for submitting for the second time”, that’s why I assumed.

  32. Mather Schneider

      Oh, he says “thanks for submitting for the second time”, that’s why I assumed.

  33. sasha fletcher

      “Anyway – thanks again for sending for the second time after saying you’d never send again” is the full and complete sentence.

  34. sasha fletcher

      “Anyway – thanks again for sending for the second time after saying you’d never send again” is the full and complete sentence.

  35. Mather Schneider

      Oh, yeah…sue me sasha…

  36. Mather Schneider

      Oh, yeah…sue me sasha…

  37. +O0o(o)o0O+
  38. +O0o(o)o0O+
  39. Blake Butler

      Namedrop Nausea?

      i’m sorry i insulted ‘your author’

      lee klein

  40. Blake Butler

      Namedrop Nausea?

      i’m sorry i insulted ‘your author’

      lee klein

  41. +O0o(o)o0O+

      your completely immature lack of humility — calling her novels “shitty” — got me steamed this morning

      dennis cooper

      brian evenson

      gordon lish

      ad infinitum ad nauseum

  42. +O0o(o)o0O+

      your completely immature lack of humility — calling her novels “shitty” — got me steamed this morning

      dennis cooper

      brian evenson

      gordon lish

      ad infinitum ad nauseum

  43. Blake Butler

      what does my taste have to do with humility?

      i know i repeat myself sometimes, but i read pretty widely. i’ve tried ms. smith’s first two novels. i should retract that i think they are ‘shitty,’ more so just not for me. what is shitty is her tone in that article, and i was trying to make a point by overstating in reaction to that.

      there seems ‘something else’ bothering you here my friend

  44. Blake Butler

      what does my taste have to do with humility?

      i know i repeat myself sometimes, but i read pretty widely. i’ve tried ms. smith’s first two novels. i should retract that i think they are ‘shitty,’ more so just not for me. what is shitty is her tone in that article, and i was trying to make a point by overstating in reaction to that.

      there seems ‘something else’ bothering you here my friend

  45. +O0o(o)o0O+

      good luck with your writing, blake

  46. +O0o(o)o0O+

      good luck with your writing, blake

  47. Blake Butler

      lee, i apologize, honestly.

  48. Blake Butler

      lee, i apologize, honestly.

  49. +O0o(o)o0O+

      (you should give everyone the ability to edit their posts)

  50. +O0o(o)o0O+

      (you should give everyone the ability to edit their posts)

  51. James Dewritern

      They rejected me like 27 times. Now I finally now why.

  52. James Dewritern

      They rejected me like 27 times. Now I finally now why.

  53. Ben White

      One of those is mine. Mine, David Erlewine, not yours. You can’t have all of them.

  54. Ben White

      One of those is mine. Mine, David Erlewine, not yours. You can’t have all of them.

  55. barry

      i never understand why people associate great journals with longetivity. there are plenty of shitty journals that have been around for 20 plus years, likewise, there are plenty of great journals that havent been around 3 years. i dont understand what difference it makes. if something is superfucking great for one year and then they stop, does that mean they were never great? 2010 or 2012… what difference does it make, does that take away from the greatness?

  56. barry

      i never understand why people associate great journals with longetivity. there are plenty of shitty journals that have been around for 20 plus years, likewise, there are plenty of great journals that havent been around 3 years. i dont understand what difference it makes. if something is superfucking great for one year and then they stop, does that mean they were never great? 2010 or 2012… what difference does it make, does that take away from the greatness?

  57. dave erlewine

      ha, good point barry. it’s probably b/c people are often very myopic and think that hey longevity is appreciated in baseball (some people claim Cal is the best player ever b/c of this ha ha) so why not apply that principle to journals.

  58. dave erlewine

      ha ha, my bad Ben.

  59. dave erlewine

      ha, good point barry. it’s probably b/c people are often very myopic and think that hey longevity is appreciated in baseball (some people claim Cal is the best player ever b/c of this ha ha) so why not apply that principle to journals.

  60. dave erlewine

      ha ha, my bad Ben.

  61. david erlewine

      also many people claim internet journals are only going to be open for a short time and only operate out of folks’ basements so when a journal like eyeshot “perseveres” people jump on it to say SEE! SEE! ONLINE JOURNALS CAN LAST! THEY’RE JUST AS GOOD AS PRINT JOURNALS!

  62. david erlewine

      also many people claim internet journals are only going to be open for a short time and only operate out of folks’ basements so when a journal like eyeshot “perseveres” people jump on it to say SEE! SEE! ONLINE JOURNALS CAN LAST! THEY’RE JUST AS GOOD AS PRINT JOURNALS!