February 18th, 2010 / 3:08 pm
Snippets

I read the first 60 pages of Joshua Cohen’s 800 page forthcoming Witz last night on my sofa. Holy fuck. Put your pants on. Mark your calendars. More on this later, but I just had to…

77 Comments

  1. David

      Hanging out for this big time…

  2. David

      Hanging out for this big time…

  3. Dreezer

      800 pages of that? Hmmm.

  4. Dreezer

      800 pages of that? Hmmm.

  5. Daniel Morris

      I dare any of you to read all of this. Just like I don’t want to sit through Out 1, or listen to Sleep’s Dopesmoker, I have no interest in reading an 800-fucking-page novel from any writer, save maybe David Markson, who at least has the good taste to keep his shit clocked in at 200 pages and under. There is not enough time in my life to read 800 pages of any one thing. There are too many books I want to read. And I’m tired of carrying around these behemoths. They hurt my forearms and make my lap rashy. You know what’s the perfect size is for a book? A 175-page paperback that fits in my back pocket. So I can take it with me anywhere. Books need to be smaller, not bigger.

      I’m taking my pants off.

  6. Daniel Morris

      I dare any of you to read all of this. Just like I don’t want to sit through Out 1, or listen to Sleep’s Dopesmoker, I have no interest in reading an 800-fucking-page novel from any writer, save maybe David Markson, who at least has the good taste to keep his shit clocked in at 200 pages and under. There is not enough time in my life to read 800 pages of any one thing. There are too many books I want to read. And I’m tired of carrying around these behemoths. They hurt my forearms and make my lap rashy. You know what’s the perfect size is for a book? A 175-page paperback that fits in my back pocket. So I can take it with me anywhere. Books need to be smaller, not bigger.

      I’m taking my pants off.

  7. Lincoln

      “Just like I don’t want to…. or listen to Sleep’s Dopesmoker,”

      sux 2 b u

  8. Lincoln

      “Just like I don’t want to…. or listen to Sleep’s Dopesmoker,”

      sux 2 b u

  9. ryan

      What’s so daunting about an 800 page novel? Basically like reading two regular length novels, and, depending upon the edition, they can be quite portable. I’ve never felt annoyed by toting my Modern Library edition of Middlemarch around.

      I do find it kind of obnoxious, though, when a book feels like a cinderblock. I like to read lying down at times, and this kind of size make that extremely frustrating.

  10. ryan

      What’s so daunting about an 800 page novel? Basically like reading two regular length novels, and, depending upon the edition, they can be quite portable. I’ve never felt annoyed by toting my Modern Library edition of Middlemarch around.

      I do find it kind of obnoxious, though, when a book feels like a cinderblock. I like to read lying down at times, and this kind of size make that extremely frustrating.

  11. a moorad

      no kidding.

  12. a moorad

      no kidding.

  13. Blake Butler

      have you never read a long book?

  14. Blake Butler

      have you never read a long book?

  15. Blake Butler

      the gmail chats start on page 113

  16. Blake Butler

      the gmail chats start on page 113

  17. David

      i kind of love books that are fat and huge with pages stacked like a miniature cross-section of the earth in those geological diagrams and require a desk to negotiate them.

  18. David

      i kind of love books that are fat and huge with pages stacked like a miniature cross-section of the earth in those geological diagrams and require a desk to negotiate them.

  19. Lincoln

      Maybe you would feel so uptight about long books if you had learned how to drop out of life with bong in hand

  20. Lincoln

      Maybe you would feel so uptight about long books if you had learned how to drop out of life with bong in hand

  21. ryan

      Well I kind of do too – there’s a physicality to them, sort of. I have moderate back pain issues, though, and when I’m reading I need to switch between sitting/reclining positions every so often. The big fat hardbacks (which are inevitably way more portable in paperback, and sometimes seem produced just to look like a ‘fat book’) make reclining kinda hard, sometimes.

      I’m less resentful in this way when the book is truly huge in content/material like the hardback version of Imperial, e.g. It’s when the hardback of a book about 150000-200000 words long is made to look liking effing war and peace that I get a little ticked.

  22. Daniel Morris

      ?

  23. ryan

      Well I kind of do too – there’s a physicality to them, sort of. I have moderate back pain issues, though, and when I’m reading I need to switch between sitting/reclining positions every so often. The big fat hardbacks (which are inevitably way more portable in paperback, and sometimes seem produced just to look like a ‘fat book’) make reclining kinda hard, sometimes.

      I’m less resentful in this way when the book is truly huge in content/material like the hardback version of Imperial, e.g. It’s when the hardback of a book about 150000-200000 words long is made to look liking effing war and peace that I get a little ticked.

  24. Matt Cozart

      is this intended as a serious comment, daniel?

      “There is not enough time in my life to read 800 pages of any one thing. There are too many books I want to read.”

      so, quantity over quality then. okay.

  25. Daniel Morris

      No, I’ve never read a long book, dude. My reading comprehension is stuck at the 3rd grade level. That’s why I come here all the time.

  26. Matt Cozart

      is this intended as a serious comment, daniel?

      “There is not enough time in my life to read 800 pages of any one thing. There are too many books I want to read.”

      so, quantity over quality then. okay.

  27. Daniel Morris

      No, I’ve never read a long book, dude. My reading comprehension is stuck at the 3rd grade level. That’s why I come here all the time.

  28. Daniel Morris

      You’re the one conflating length with quality. Just because something is big doesn’t mean it’s good, you know?

  29. ZZZZIPP

      ZZZZZZ

  30. Daniel Morris

      You’re the one conflating length with quality. Just because something is big doesn’t mean it’s good, you know?

  31. ZZZZIPP

      ZZZZZZ

  32. ZZZZIPP

      NOT READING IT MEANS IT CAN NEVER BE GOOD

  33. ZZZZIPP

      NOT READING IT MEANS IT CAN NEVER BE GOOD

  34. Daniel Morris

      Go back to sleep, ZZZZIPP.

  35. Daniel Morris

      Go back to sleep, ZZZZIPP.

  36. ZZZZIPP

      ITZZ SO HARD TO STAY AWAKE ON HERE SOMETIMES

  37. ZZZZIPP

      ITZZ SO HARD TO STAY AWAKE ON HERE SOMETIMES

  38. davidpeak

      so…about cohen: i read ‘a heaven of others’ on an airplane and really, really loved it. and his MLP chapbook was my favorite of the last cycle, and dalkey is pretty much king slayer–so this all adds up for me in the right way.

  39. davidpeak

      so…about cohen: i read ‘a heaven of others’ on an airplane and really, really loved it. and his MLP chapbook was my favorite of the last cycle, and dalkey is pretty much king slayer–so this all adds up for me in the right way.

  40. Daniel Morris

      Yeah. And you’re not helping.

  41. Daniel Morris

      Yeah. And you’re not helping.

  42. ZZZZIPP

      BETTER THAN THE FONT DISAPPEARING INTO OBLIVION

  43. ZZZZIPP

      RATS!

  44. ZZZZIPP

      BETTER THAN THE FONT DISAPPEARING INTO OBLIVION

  45. ZZZZIPP

      RATS!

  46. ZZZZIPP

      THOUGH ZZZIPPP UNDERSTANDS BACK PAIN. YOU HAVE TO GET A SPECIAL STAND FOR YOUR BOOKS INSTALLED IN YOUR HOME OR OFFICE. TRES INCONVENIENT.

  47. ZZZZIPP

      THOUGH ZZZIPPP UNDERSTANDS BACK PAIN. YOU HAVE TO GET A SPECIAL STAND FOR YOUR BOOKS INSTALLED IN YOUR HOME OR OFFICE. TRES INCONVENIENT.

  48. Kyle Minor

      I’ve already read the whole thing. It’s very good. It’s worth your time.

  49. Kyle Minor

      I’ve already read the whole thing. It’s very good. It’s worth your time.

  50. Lincoln

      If you listened to SLEEP you’d understand!

  51. Lincoln

      If you listened to SLEEP you’d understand!

  52. stephen

      I’m excited to check it out. Joshua’s prose is really exceptional, and the scenario for the book has me very interested.

  53. stephen

      I’m excited to check it out. Joshua’s prose is really exceptional, and the scenario for the book has me very interested.

  54. Tim Horvath

      “‘Cause mo better makes it mo better.”–Spike Lee

  55. Tim Horvath

      “‘Cause mo better makes it mo better.”–Spike Lee

  56. Roxane Gay

      I don’t understand why people find long books daunting. I love long long books. My reading speed doesn’t slow because a book is longer. I don’t love the heft of big books but I bought Infinite Jest on my Kindle and so that was convenient. I’m really looking forward to Witz.

  57. Roxane Gay

      I don’t understand why people find long books daunting. I love long long books. My reading speed doesn’t slow because a book is longer. I don’t love the heft of big books but I bought Infinite Jest on my Kindle and so that was convenient. I’m really looking forward to Witz.

  58. darby

      i dont think i could finish an 800 page markson novel. at some point an ‘enough already’ factor would kick in.

      the synops for witz turns me off, seems kind of orwellian big political allegory kind of thing, but the excerpt turns me on.

  59. darby

      i dont think i could finish an 800 page markson novel. at some point an ‘enough already’ factor would kick in.

      the synops for witz turns me off, seems kind of orwellian big political allegory kind of thing, but the excerpt turns me on.

  60. Mike Meginnis

      I loved A Heaven of Others. Am looking forward to this.

  61. Mike Meginnis

      I loved A Heaven of Others. Am looking forward to this.

  62. jonny ross

      second

  63. jonny ross

      second

  64. jonny ross

      “follow the smoke to the riff-filled land”

      “proceeds the weediam nazareth!”

  65. jonny ross

      “follow the smoke to the riff-filled land”

      “proceeds the weediam nazareth!”

  66. jonny ross

      war and peace

      the brothers karamazov

      moby-dick

      anna karenina

      all 600+ pgs, all masterpieces

  67. jonny ross

      war and peace

      the brothers karamazov

      moby-dick

      anna karenina

      all 600+ pgs, all masterpieces

  68. mike

      “I have no interest in reading an 800-fucking-page novel from any writer, save maybe David Markson, who at least has the good taste to keep his shit clocked in at 200 pages and under. There is not enough time in my life to read 800 pages of any one thing.”

      If you read Reader’s Block –> This is Not a Novel –> Vanishing Point –> The Last Novel you just DID read 800 pages of the same thing.

  69. mike

      “I have no interest in reading an 800-fucking-page novel from any writer, save maybe David Markson, who at least has the good taste to keep his shit clocked in at 200 pages and under. There is not enough time in my life to read 800 pages of any one thing.”

      If you read Reader’s Block –> This is Not a Novel –> Vanishing Point –> The Last Novel you just DID read 800 pages of the same thing.

  70. gene
  71. gene
  72. Stu

      So you’re comparing this book to the classics? Wow, man. I gotta pick this up.

  73. Stu

      So you’re comparing this book to the classics? Wow, man. I gotta pick this up.

  74. Stu

      Hahaha!

  75. Stu

      Hahaha!

  76. Michael Filippone

      I’m looking forward to this as well. The Cupboard never misses.

  77. Michael Filippone

      I’m looking forward to this as well. The Cupboard never misses.