September 1st, 2010 / 3:35 pm
Snippets
Snippets
Blake Butler—
Which writer is the biggest asshole you’ve witnessed personally?
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Meta
VS Naipaul
… looking forward to this invitation.
Mary Gaitskill
Taylor Mali (if you count a spoken word author as a writer)
T.C. Boyle. Had dinner with him in 04. He is totally and completely up his own ass and could give seven shits about anyone and anything that doesn’t have to do with T.C. Boyle.
Why?
really? do tell.
really? saw her read in MA, she was nice, engaged the audience, addressed questions/reactions well.
then answer the question, which writer has the biggest asshole you’ve witnessed personally.
is it mean week?
sherman alexie
sorry to say it. he was super douchey when i met him at book expo a few years back.
What was on the menu?
Not David Eggers. That man was very nice in person.
har har
We’re all assholes, but personally I think my old grad school teacher qualifies. He would have called it “tough love.” I will not give his name.
junot diaz is the most condescending writer i’ve ever met.
Haters gonna hate.
http://blogs.msdn.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Blogs-Components-WeblogFiles/00-00-01-37-35-metablogapi/6545.image_5F00_4657A85F.png
Sherman Alexie’s the kind of asshole I like, though. He’s cantankerous. I’ve seen him read a few times and I think he’s very funny and engaging.
The writer who came off like the biggest asshole after seeing them speak was Jonathan Safran Foer (big shock there, right?)
i did a reading with someone once who did the following things: 1) when i met him/her, they pretended to cock an imaginary shotgun, then pretended to blow their head off. 2) they walked out in the middle of my reading and slammed the door.
the first one was pretty funny. the second one just made me feel bad.
Not sure if he counts as a writer, but Bill Cosby hit me.
What did you do to deserve that?
A writer I’d invited to Vermin on the Mount showed up late, eyed the room, and left without saying anything because the crowd wasn’t big enough.
Expected him to sign books while eating croissants that were not from the right bakery.
James Joyce towel-whipped me with his velvet cape.
Ha! I know a guy who works at a hotel where Bill Cosby stayed. He specified a certain type of danish and a certain size drink from Starbucks — the guy went all over town to find this stuff. Not being a Starbucks aficionado, my pal forgot the size of the coffee drink and just got him the biggest. Bill objected, cuz he said the drink doesn’t taste the same in a different size cup. I guess when you’re rich you can have people jump thru hoops to get you just exactly what you want.
But Allan Gurganus was fucking nice.
Oh yeah right he looks pretty cool:
http://www.tcboyle.com/
Are we supposed to guess? Wally Lamb.
Is this what he wore to dinner?
http://www.tcboyle.com/images/tcbBody.png
damn… how is he not embarassed by that?
my dad.
he writes emails.
Geoffrey Wolffe is a complete asshole to me over email as an undergrad
(was) — maybe he had a point
I wouldn’t call him an asshole—I don’t think he’s actually mean—but he is something of a blowhard.
You promised me a full house.
Should add that I’m kinda fond of blowhards.
ha!
Don’t be an asshole and haters won’t hate.
You know who was real cool? David Foster Wallace. Same with James Ellroy.
Another asshole: Dick Hebdige. He was the dean of the writing program I graduated from and his contempt for the students was pretty palpable even through his sneery British facade.
i like a good blowhard but that wasn’t my one on one experience or problem with his douchiness.
it was this bizarre ‘i’m going to pretend you’re not a human or something one foot away from me as i sign your book’ thing. (i was the only person in line at the signing table at the time.)
it wasn’t that it was a blow-off (which wouldn’t have been a big deal). it was this ‘i’m going to pretend there’s no matter in front of me making sound at me’ type of thing.
i’ve just never had that kind of interaction with another person before. it was really, really weird…
Actually, a ‘sneery facade’ would indicate contempt from the get, wouldn’t it? What I should’ve said was ‘cheery facade.’
While I definitely wouldn’t agree that everyone’s an asshole — or even all writers — I’ve definitely noticed that there seems to be a bigger tendency toward Assholism among writers than among, say, painters. Even if we’re really nice most of the time, a lot of us still have our ‘asshole’ sides. And even if we actively try to suppress it, it still comes out. I don’t know what it is about us. Maybe it’s because we’re always making judgments? As the outgrowth of our ‘observer’ trait?
But there’re writers out there I’ve met and spoken to via email who definitely are not assholes. I won’t mention any names, but I don’t think I have to.
There’re editors, as well, who are or have been really nice to me via email, while other editors have been assholes via email. I’m just thankful that the ones who’re really nice are there, to be really nice to people.
VS Naipaul
… looking forward to this invitation.
Mary Gaitskill
Would this be a cool example of something we’d attach Sigmund Freud’s name to?
I understand. You were probably too coked out to read.
Taylor Mali (if you count a spoken word author as a writer)
T.C. Boyle. Had dinner with him in 04. He is totally and completely up his own ass and could give seven shits about anyone and anything that doesn’t have to do with T.C. Boyle.
I was going to say.
Why?
really? do tell.
I don’t understand your question.
really? saw her read in MA, she was nice, engaged the audience, addressed questions/reactions well.
then answer the question, which writer has the biggest asshole you’ve witnessed personally.
is it mean week?
sherman alexie
sorry to say it. he was super douchey when i met him at book expo a few years back.
What was on the menu?
Not David Eggers. That man was very nice in person.
har har
We’re all assholes, but personally I think my old grad school teacher qualifies. He would have called it “tough love.” I will not give his name.
junot diaz is the most condescending writer i’ve ever met.
Haters gonna hate.
http://blogs.msdn.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Blogs-Components-WeblogFiles/00-00-01-37-35-metablogapi/6545.image_5F00_4657A85F.png
Bill Cosby van Halen?
but it felt like a kiss.
Pat Conroy was unfriendly. He was gearing up to do a book signing, and I happened to be in the book store. The owner introduced me to him, and he couldn’t even muster a smile. Acted very put out.
Sherman Alexie’s the kind of asshole I like, though. He’s cantankerous. I’ve seen him read a few times and I think he’s very funny and engaging.
The writer who came off like the biggest asshole after seeing them speak was Jonathan Safran Foer (big shock there, right?)
i did a reading with someone once who did the following things: 1) when i met him/her, they pretended to cock an imaginary shotgun, then pretended to blow their head off. 2) they walked out in the middle of my reading and slammed the door.
the first one was pretty funny. the second one just made me feel bad.
Not sure if he counts as a writer, but Bill Cosby hit me.
What did you do to deserve that?
Freudian slip.
Yann Martel.
A writer I’d invited to Vermin on the Mount showed up late, eyed the room, and left without saying anything because the crowd wasn’t big enough.
Expected him to sign books while eating croissants that were not from the right bakery.
James Joyce towel-whipped me with his velvet cape.
Ha! I know a guy who works at a hotel where Bill Cosby stayed. He specified a certain type of danish and a certain size drink from Starbucks — the guy went all over town to find this stuff. Not being a Starbucks aficionado, my pal forgot the size of the coffee drink and just got him the biggest. Bill objected, cuz he said the drink doesn’t taste the same in a different size cup. I guess when you’re rich you can have people jump thru hoops to get you just exactly what you want.
But Allan Gurganus was fucking nice.
Oh yeah right he looks pretty cool:
http://www.tcboyle.com/
Are we supposed to guess? Wally Lamb.
He wrote me a nice letter once.
Is this what he wore to dinner?
http://www.tcboyle.com/images/tcbBody.png
damn… how is he not embarassed by that?
my dad.
he writes emails.
Geoffrey Wolffe is a complete asshole to me over email as an undergrad
(was) — maybe he had a point
I wouldn’t call him an asshole—I don’t think he’s actually mean—but he is something of a blowhard.
You promised me a full house.
Should add that I’m kinda fond of blowhards.
OBAMA???
starts with greil, ends with arcus
ha!
Don’t be an asshole and haters won’t hate.
You know who was real cool? David Foster Wallace. Same with James Ellroy.
Another asshole: Dick Hebdige. He was the dean of the writing program I graduated from and his contempt for the students was pretty palpable even through his sneery British facade.
i like a good blowhard but that wasn’t my one on one experience or problem with his douchiness.
it was this bizarre ‘i’m going to pretend you’re not a human or something one foot away from me as i sign your book’ thing. (i was the only person in line at the signing table at the time.)
it wasn’t that it was a blow-off (which wouldn’t have been a big deal). it was this ‘i’m going to pretend there’s no matter in front of me making sound at me’ type of thing.
i’ve just never had that kind of interaction with another person before. it was really, really weird…
Actually, a ‘sneery facade’ would indicate contempt from the get, wouldn’t it? What I should’ve said was ‘cheery facade.’
Since people kept telling me to read “Life of Pi”, I finally read it, and although I liked the book I thought it was pretty crummy that he chose to use the final chapter as a vehicle to completely destroy the entire book by disassembling everything he’d created, piece by piece. I’d never before read a book that the author so thoroughly annihilated in the final chapter.
So… since then I’ve been advising people who were reading or going to read Life of Pi to NOT READ THE LAST CHAPTER.
It made me sick to my stomach, what he did to me.
Hell. I suppose THAT qualifies him as being an asshole.
By the way, Blake, referring to the article/question: What precisely do you mean by “witness”?
While I definitely wouldn’t agree that everyone’s an asshole — or even all writers — I’ve definitely noticed that there seems to be a bigger tendency toward Assholism among writers than among, say, painters. Even if we’re really nice most of the time, a lot of us still have our ‘asshole’ sides. And even if we actively try to suppress it, it still comes out. I don’t know what it is about us. Maybe it’s because we’re always making judgments? As the outgrowth of our ‘observer’ trait?
But there’re writers out there I’ve met and spoken to via email who definitely are not assholes. I won’t mention any names, but I don’t think I have to.
There’re editors, as well, who are or have been really nice to me via email, while other editors have been assholes via email. I’m just thankful that the ones who’re really nice are there, to be really nice to people.
Would this be a cool example of something we’d attach Sigmund Freud’s name to?
I understand. You were probably too coked out to read.
dickbags: junot diaz, t.c. boyle, and the dude who wrote alive. what a cocksucker that guy was, man. someone should have eaten him on that frozen mountain. (and steve malkmus from pavement while we’re at it. one of the biggest jerks ever.)
super nice: james ellroy, gary shteyngart, lipsyte, wells tower, jim shepard… the nice person list is huge.
and sherman alexie was hilarious and considerate when i hosted his reading in ~2005 at powell’s. cantankerous, yes, but not dickey at all. he just had the i-made-it swagger and was cracking jokes with me.
I was going to say.
Point well taken. I think writers tend to be sensitive and perhaps more attuned to situations and sometimes are awkward because of this. Hence the idea that one can more easily be misunderstood, etc.
I usually tend to respond to my “shy writerly side” by overdoing it so people DON’T think I’m an asshole, but perhaps they do anyway.
And hell, nobody’s perfect. But paying money to be managed by someone who has issues with the modern world and prefers to take it out on his students: not cool.
I think “asshole” is an interesting moniker, but what about CAT PEOPLE? They scare me more than anything. Workshops can be catty, too. Catty places. Not exactly assholish but worse in a lot of ways.
I don’t understand your question.
Well Garrett Hongo told some chick that being a mommy wasn’t anything special & that she didn’t have anything beyond that to offer. I was just chilling there & I don’t think he cared if I heard him.
I saw/heard Matthew Roth talk shit to a radio producer about a friend of mine at the Paradise Lounge. It still bugs me that a guy who sucks so much was able to harm the career of a much better writer. He acts all lovey dovey and shit; that Hassid-shit’s just an act.
Robert Haas promised to call me and never did. He said he liked my verse too. He didn’t need to say that. What a dickweed.
Christian Parenti had me over for Christmas dinner (okay, it was Jewmas, alright?) right after the dot-bomb & introduced me to Chris Daly. I didn’t even realize who I was dealing w/ at the time. Christian wanted to gloat about his book on the future of surveillance, but wouldn’t answer my direct/repeated question of ‘why I should fear my government more than my fellow citizen?’
Lawrence Ferlinghetti snapped at me when I was sixteen and was spending all my money on poetry books. When I quoted some nice-sounding bullshit from one of his books of poetry to him, he slammed the door in my face.
Mark Strand blocked me from following him on Twitter and HTML GIANT censors my posts, because I was a dick and you guys can’t reward that.
Then there are all the SF cliterati–really, who hasn’t been a lout at the Uptown? That’s what I want to know. I am a dick, you are dicks and it is mutually assured dickstruction all around. Diagnoses of dickliness does not absolve one from being a a dick as well.
Oh what else… I pissed off a Hungarian literature professor who wanted to give me a scholarship–does it count if one’s being an FM Assheit to famous writers, or does it only count if they are squishing us nobodies, semi-nobodies and somebodies-with-no-money-so-they’re-still-nobodies-in-the-scheme-of-things? If that’s the case, well, I could probably go on for ages. You wouldn’t want that.
[And seriously, don’t censor this post; I scoured my memory trying to earnestly answer the question as posted.]
Bill Cosby van Halen?
I met him once several years ago. He was a guest on a show at a super-tiny radio station I worked at. After the show we always went across the street to a Chinese buffet for lunch. He was honestly one of the nicest authors we had on the show. Also, very funny. He showed me a picture of his kid from his wallet and was totally normal and nice. Sorry he was a jerk at the signing, but maybe he was having a bad day? I feel like I have to defend him a bit because I must’ve spent at least three hours with him that day and he was nice to everyone.
but it felt like a kiss.
Pat Conroy was unfriendly. He was gearing up to do a book signing, and I happened to be in the book store. The owner introduced me to him, and he couldn’t even muster a smile. Acted very put out.
Mostly people at AWP who give me their CV in the first two minutes of a conversation then ask me who I am in that way–you know, that way? Never had an egregiously rude or bad meeting with a famous type, especially once you factor in stress and whatnot. For what it’s worth, Jonathan Safran Foer was a peach.
Freudian slip.
Yann Martel.
He wrote me a nice letter once.
OBAMA???
starts with greil, ends with arcus
Since people kept telling me to read “Life of Pi”, I finally read it, and although I liked the book I thought it was pretty crummy that he chose to use the final chapter as a vehicle to completely destroy the entire book by disassembling everything he’d created, piece by piece. I’d never before read a book that the author so thoroughly annihilated in the final chapter.
So… since then I’ve been advising people who were reading or going to read Life of Pi to NOT READ THE LAST CHAPTER.
It made me sick to my stomach, what he did to me.
Hell. I suppose THAT qualifies him as being an asshole.
By the way, Blake, referring to the article/question: What precisely do you mean by “witness”?
dickbags: junot diaz, t.c. boyle, and the dude who wrote alive. what a cocksucker that guy was, man. someone should have eaten him on that frozen mountain. (and steve malkmus from pavement while we’re at it. one of the biggest jerks ever.)
super nice: james ellroy, gary shteyngart, lipsyte, wells tower, jim shepard… the nice person list is huge.
and sherman alexie was hilarious and considerate when i hosted his reading in ~2005 at powell’s. cantankerous, yes, but not dickey at all. he just had the i-made-it swagger and was cracking jokes with me.
Point well taken. I think writers tend to be sensitive and perhaps more attuned to situations and sometimes are awkward because of this. Hence the idea that one can more easily be misunderstood, etc.
I usually tend to respond to my “shy writerly side” by overdoing it so people DON’T think I’m an asshole, but perhaps they do anyway.
And hell, nobody’s perfect. But paying money to be managed by someone who has issues with the modern world and prefers to take it out on his students: not cool.
I think “asshole” is an interesting moniker, but what about CAT PEOPLE? They scare me more than anything. Workshops can be catty, too. Catty places. Not exactly assholish but worse in a lot of ways.
Well Garrett Hongo told some chick that being a mommy wasn’t anything special & that she didn’t have anything beyond that to offer. I was just chilling there & I don’t think he cared if I heard him.
I saw/heard Matthew Roth talk shit to a radio producer about a friend of mine at the Paradise Lounge. It still bugs me that a guy who sucks so much was able to harm the career of a much better writer. He acts all lovey dovey and shit; that Hassid-shit’s just an act.
Robert Haas promised to call me and never did. He said he liked my verse too. He didn’t need to say that. What a dickweed.
Christian Parenti had me over for Christmas dinner (okay, it was Jewmas, alright?) right after the dot-bomb & introduced me to Chris Daly. I didn’t even realize who I was dealing w/ at the time. Christian wanted to gloat about his book on the future of surveillance, but wouldn’t answer my direct/repeated question of ‘why I should fear my government more than my fellow citizen?’
Lawrence Ferlinghetti snapped at me when I was sixteen and was spending all my money on poetry books. When I quoted some nice-sounding bullshit from one of his books of poetry to him, he slammed the door in my face.
Mark Strand blocked me from following him on Twitter and HTML GIANT censors my posts, because I was a dick and you guys can’t reward that.
Then there are all the SF cliterati–really, who hasn’t been a lout at the Uptown? That’s what I want to know. I am a dick, you are dicks and it is mutually assured dickstruction all around. Diagnoses of dickliness does not absolve one from being a a dick as well.
Oh what else… I pissed off a Hungarian literature professor who wanted to give me a scholarship–does it count if one’s being an FM Assheit to famous writers, or does it only count if they are squishing us nobodies, semi-nobodies and somebodies-with-no-money-so-they’re-still-nobodies-in-the-scheme-of-things? If that’s the case, well, I could probably go on for ages. You wouldn’t want that.
[And seriously, don’t censor this post; I scoured my memory trying to earnestly answer the question as posted.]
I met him once several years ago. He was a guest on a show at a super-tiny radio station I worked at. After the show we always went across the street to a Chinese buffet for lunch. He was honestly one of the nicest authors we had on the show. Also, very funny. He showed me a picture of his kid from his wallet and was totally normal and nice. Sorry he was a jerk at the signing, but maybe he was having a bad day? I feel like I have to defend him a bit because I must’ve spent at least three hours with him that day and he was nice to everyone.
Mostly people at AWP who give me their CV in the first two minutes of a conversation then ask me who I am in that way–you know, that way? Never had an egregiously rude or bad meeting with a famous type, especially once you factor in stress and whatnot. For what it’s worth, Jonathan Safran Foer was a peach.
I felt
1) Shelley Jackson
2) Mary Ruefle
both behaved like haughty, disinterested bitches when I approached each of them earnestly about common ground. Nothing says -I think I’m better than you- better than looking around disinterestedly while someone else is speaking and giving clipped, glib answers once finally mustering up some kind of response.
Oh what is a writer if not indignant about *something*?
Why do you hate animals?
;)
OWEN DON’T YOU GET IT WHETHER OR NOT YOU BELIEVE THE LAST CHAPTER SHOWS WHAT KIND OF A PERSON YOU ARE. WHY IS THE OTHER STORY FALSE? ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED.
Why do you hate animals?
;)
I thought Shelley was really nice when I saw here. She stayed around after the reading and talked with a bunch of people and seemed really laid back… It might have been because she was hosted by the University of Alabama faculty, who are really laid back too.
As I always say, babies, your whole crew.
OWEN DON’T YOU GET IT WHETHER OR NOT YOU BELIEVE THE LAST CHAPTER SHOWS WHAT KIND OF A PERSON YOU ARE. WHY IS THE OTHER STORY FALSE? ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED.
I thought Shelley was really nice when I saw here. She stayed around after the reading and talked with a bunch of people and seemed really laid back… It might have been because she was hosted by the University of Alabama faculty, who are really laid back too.
This.
As I always say, babies, your whole crew.
Dr. Seuss. What a prick.
But this is nice: http://www.instructables.com/id/USB-Typewriter/
This.
Dr. Seuss. What a prick.
But this is nice: http://www.instructables.com/id/USB-Typewriter/
there was a towel-snapping incident in the locker room with seuss.
there was a towel-snapping incident in the locker room with seuss.
dayummmm
taylor mali is a try-hard
i guess just like seeing
dayummmm
taylor mali is a try-hard
i guess just like seeing
Joshua Ferris. Not really sure if he qualifies as “writer,” though he certainly seems to think so.
Joshua Ferris. Not really sure if he qualifies as “writer,” though he certainly seems to think so.
Now that I think about it, nobody likes Franzen cause he has cool hair. Most people here cut their own with office scissors.
Now that I think about it, nobody likes Franzen cause he has cool hair. Most people here cut their own with office scissors.
So, when we say “so and so was an asshat,” are we referring mainly to people who one time made us feel bad because they ignored us for reasons we can’t articulate? Or is there someone out there who has a seriously nasty story to contribute? Like is there anyone who was ever walking his dog, and Richard Ford walked by and kicked it and ran off?
So, when we say “so and so was an asshat,” are we referring mainly to people who one time made us feel bad because they ignored us for reasons we can’t articulate? Or is there someone out there who has a seriously nasty story to contribute? Like is there anyone who was ever walking his dog, and Richard Ford walked by and kicked it and ran off?